Oh dear God. Beyonce covers the new issue of Flaunt Magazine, and this might go down as one of Beyonce’s worst photoshoots ever. It’s already being compared (unfavorably) to a terrible ANTM challenge (Bey needs to smize) and to some kind of Twihard p0rn (all of the sparkles). Is it just me or does Beyonce’s neck look really weird in several of these shots? Does she just have an epically slender, long neck or is this some Photoshop magic? I will give Bey some credit, though: her knockers look amazing. Truly.
Flaunt has a really gushy, ridiculous, “Beyonce is the QUEEN OF EVERYTHING” article to go along with the crazy photoshoot, but that’s just build-up for one of the most boring Q&A sessions ever:
Flaunt: A picnic planner is hoping to get lucky with his/her picnic companion. What’s in the picnic basket?
Beyoncé: A cozy blanket, red wine, fruit, ’90s R&B playing on my iPod. I don’t think you need much else.Flaunt: Gay men are drawn to you and empowered by you, as they have been to “gay icons” Judy Garland, Barbra Streisand, Cher, and Madonna. What is it about you, and those women, that gay men love?
Beyoncé: I’m flattered if I’m in the company of those great women. I think they love that we are bold, unafraid to love, and flaunt our sexuality and strength.Flaunt: What’s up with gluten anyway?
Beyonce: I’m okay with gluten. Sunday pizza is a must for me!Flaunt: Tyra Sanchez based his drag persona for “RuPaul’s Drag Race” on you. What does it mean that someone who impersonates your “girl-power” persona is a man with a successful career as a female impersonator? Is there conflict there?
Beyoncé: No conflict. I love it and Miss Tyra is fabulous!Flaunt: What famous piece of architecture might you most like to do some necking in?
Beyoncé: The Louvre, or under the Arc de Triomphe. Paris is a beautiful, sexy city.Flaunt: Millennials make up a huge part of your fan base. Thousands of them have responded to your Instagram hashtag #beygood to promote goodwill. How do you feel about the media’s take on youth as the “me me me” generation, or a generation of “slack-tivists” [people who are activists online but not in the real world]?
Beyoncé: At my concerts I see the opposite. They are engaged in making a difference. We have collected tons of donations that will go towards creating jobs and helping people get jobs. That’s something I want to celebrate. For Chime for Change we raised awareness and over $4 million in one day for equal rights for girls everywhere. So many people at that concert were young. They are more socially responsible than they get credit for.Flaunt: Some were critical at your participating in a Pepsi campaign after you moved your body for childhood obesity. Where is the balance between your career objectives and your philanthropy?
Beyoncé: Pepsi is a brand I’ve grown up seeing my heroes collaborate with. The company respects musicians and artistry. I wouldn’t encourage any person, especially a child, to live life without balance. When you work out, take care of your body, rehearse as hard as I rehearsed in the commercial, I think it’s great to have a Pepsi or Diet Pepsi when you want one. It’s all about choices.Flaunt: What is your favorite kind of stain?
Beyoncé: Milk.Flaunt: One piece of clothing you own that you absolutely couldn’t live without?
Beyoncé: A white T-shirt.Flaunt: You have always carefully sculpted your image and controlled public access to your off-stage life. Is there anything to envy about stars who don’t care about safeguarding their private lives?
Beyoncé: I have chosen to keep certain aspects of my life private. But I also love sharing what makes me happy, especially through photography.Flaunt: Is there a sex scandal in history that you find not so scandalous, and instead just kinda awesome?
Beyoncé: Antony and Cleopatra. The legend of that love affair affected history and lives to this day.Flaunt: A number of magazines list the top X number of ways to please your lover. Anything missing on these lists typically?
Beyoncé: If you have to read those lists, you’re already in trouble.Flaunt: What’s boring to you?
Beyoncé: Lack of creativity.
[From Flaunt Magazine via TFS]
“Lack of creativity”? Beyonce knows that she’s been accused of “homage-ing” too much, too often for years and years, right? But I do like her answers for the Millennials question and for the Pepsi question. The Pepsi question in particular, because I think this new “soda-shaming” campaign against Big Soda has gotten ridiculous. Do I think soda machines should be in schools? No. But I think anyone should be able to buy a Big Gulp in NYC. I don’t judge celebrities with soda endorsements, nor do I judge people who love their soda. I love my Diet Pepsi, and I’ve cut back a lot since my youth, but I still love to have it. And that’s my choice. Get your Nanny State off my Diet Pepsi!
Photos courtesy of Flaunt.
She’s insufferable, but the first shot is cool.
But did’t Rihanna already cover the naked gold pose.. like 8 years ago. Beyonce is a pretty woman. but girl you’re in your 30’s now.. You’re 10 years too late.
I was hoping Beyonce would and could reinevent her image every few years like Madonna. Not always copying what someone else did years earlier and think it’s original and cool.
Poor Girl. and please update your dance moves.. No teenager is copying your moves. They are tired along with the Ratchet Blond weave. Do red, Jet Black, brown.. Switch it up. Her sister has more style… With the long braids, Big Fro. I love Solonge’s fashion sense.
the first picture is so weird. it seems like her arms is disfigure or something
That cover shot is horrible. It looks like a Tyra Banks photo shoot gone bad.
She doesn’t have the face for short hair at least not in these photos.
She’s not smiling with her eyes. Tyra would not approve, lol.
LOL right, she’s not smizing.
I disagree. I think Beyonce has one of the most beautiful faces! I like these shots, it really features her face.
She looks like she had too many plastic surgerys.
Exactly what I was going to say…her arm scares me in that picture.
Narcissism. Beyoncé style. Ugh
More like Beyonce-stale.. ;p
Just thinking about getting all that glitter off is stressing me out.
Beyonce’s a beautiful woman, but she’s no model and it really shows whenever she does an arty shoot like this. The 2nd and 3rd pics are especially bad, she has no idea what to do with her face and she just looks confused and awkward. I’d love to see the outtakes, they must have been dreadful if these were the best of the lot.
Is anyone else a bit shocked she agreed to that cover shot? As skimpily as she dresses on stage she’s always seemed pretty prudish about actual nudity.
I agree – I think she’s very pretty, but always seems a bit awkward in photos. Especially when she went through the arms over the head posing phase.
@Jess – Girl, you read my mind!! The absolute moment I saw that cover shot, I thought: “Dear GOD she’s gonna have a HELL of a time getting that glitter *OFF*…”
It gets everywhere, turns up in places it has NO business being (& in this case, she actually put it there intentionally, I’m sure that will be fun to clean off), & no matter how many hot showers or scrubbing she does, she’s going to find it on herself in at least one place of her body, 6 months from now.
(Whenever I get some on me, I try to use duct tape to pull it off me, but w/limited success.)
I like the photos, she’s a beautiful woman.
me too! they’re cool as he**. everybody needs to relax! it’s just dressing up fun….
I agree! And, having lived in Africa for the last 15 years, I recognize each of the cultures being showcased.
I couldn’t care less about Bey but these photos are very cool.
Not a great fan, but I think she photographs really well and is quite beautiful, photoshopping notwithstanding. But everybody is photoshopped so who cares about that. I think the photo-shoot is creative.
Beyonzzzzzzzzzzzzz… Nothing about her is exciting anymore. Maybe disappear for 10 years??
That’s because she’s everywhere, all the time. Celebrities should remember the famous P.T. Barnum adage, “always leave them wanting more.”
Or, in Beyoncé’s case, just leave.
Ha! That would be my vote.
+1.
@ Jade:
I’m with you!
Nice fake tits.
“What’s your favorite kind of stain?” That is very…odd. What a strange thing to ask someone.
And these pics are weird but I’m not an arty person.
The immature 12 year old in me immediately thought milk was a euphemism for ‘gentlemen’s relish’ 😉
FWIW, I’m quite fond of raspberry stains. It’s a pretty shade of pink.
I just got a pink stain on my white jeans yesterday. I have no idea what caused it but it is a gorgeous shade and looks great on the white.
I like red wine stains. Oh wait, that should read “I am used to red wine stains”
Gentlemen’s relish! LOL!!
I’m so sick of hearing about this self-absorbed chick! Next….
I really don’t think those are her real breasts. I don’t think she has implants, but I think those are prosthetics for the shoot (or just crazy photoshopping). they look bigger than what she’s normally carrying and their shape is wayyy too perfect for someone who has supposedly had a baby in the last 2 years.
There was something bothering me about this photo and is was her perfectly perky, symmetrical breasts. Putting your arm behind you like that (and I did and I felt like I was going to dislocate my shoulder), changes how your chest and shoulders look. Her upper body is too perfect to have her arm behind her like that and that is one reason it looks so photo shopped.
Also the one where she is laying on the ground (where is looks like she’s shitting glitter into the air), the breast shown does not look real. Real boobs to sit like that when you’re laying on your side. IMPLANTS can look like that though (although I still think this is ‘shopping or prosthetics).
Glitter the STD of fashion. She’s going to be finding glitter in her underwear for weeks.
Yawn, at the interview. She just ughh, has no personality. There wasn’t any kidding around, any charm.
Like I said in a reply above, try months. I can’t imagine what sort of ‘contortion’ she had to use to get it off of the more…sensitive…areas. (…Unless of course she has someone on employ who’s job description includes wiping her ass, which wouldn’t at all surprise me…)
Yawn. Those comments about Pepsi really sum her up. Will do anything for more $$$. Insincere. Not genuine.
I thought the photos of Sofia Veraga were massively photoshopped. Beyoncé ones take it to a whole new level.
Her real answer to “what’s boring to you?” is “not reading articles/seeing photos about me”.
Re: Soda-shaming:
Consuming soda is a CHOICE and everyone is ultimately personally responsible for what they put in their bodies; however…
…Pepsi can afford to pay Beyonce tens of millions to front it’s product, yet refuses to pay its employees in the developing world a living wage (as does Coca-Cola, to be entirely fair).
In Columbia they call joining a soda union “working with a tombstone on your back” because asking for a fair wage for your fellow man is highly likely to get you murdered, whilst the hours and conditions make sweatshop labour for Nike or (in China, suicide-inducing) Apple seem almost blissful in comparison.
Drinking beer is the ethical choice!
“Drinking beer is the ethical choice!”
That should be the tagline for every pub/bar.
I might actually get a t-shirt with that on it . . .
Yes!
Really? I’m so ethical! Next time I have a microbrew (happy hour!), I’m going to be so self-righteous about it.
Drun-I mean, Beer Drin-I *mean* Human Rights ACTIVISTS of the World UNITE! Cheers!!
well she’s gonna be finding glitter in her nethers for a loooonnnngg time.
Talk about photoshop! it’s not even subtle she doesn’t have much of a neck on the best of days. And those boobs are not hers no way someone who gave birth and breastfed has boobs like that. I think they have been on a bit of a photoshop frenzy they even too big to be hers. Beyonce needs a personality she is so boring when is she going to go away and have another fake pregnancy?
Thank you.
You can maybe comment on the artistry or styling of the photos but you cannot comment on how Beyonce looks in these photos because these are not pics of Beyonce. It’s a computer generated version of Beyonce, as are all Beyonce-approved photos.
Right!
She’s actually a pretty lady, I don’t understand why they photoshopped her to look uglier.
She has the best “dead eyes”. Always does. And by best, I mean horrible and scary.
“I have chosen to keep certain aspects of my life private.” Really? Like what? She and her husband share everything, including intimate family photos online. Give me a break!
I hate the celebrity endorsements of soda. Other than Britney I doubt any of these celebrities drink soda on a regular basis. Soda is incredibly unhealthy. She might as well be endorsing cigarettes as far as I am concerned.
Definitely cool and different photos. Do her boobs really stand up like that? If so, I’m jealous.
I don’t think a human woman’s real breasts could look like that if she were hanging upside down…
I agree w/other’s comments, about photoshop enhancement or prosthetics.
I love beyonce!
I’m sorry. The only time I found her interesting was in her Destiny Child’s years.
All I can think about is how itchy and uncomfortable I would feel with all of that d@mn glitter on!
Kaiser
“I don’t judge celebrities with soda endorsements, nor do I judge people who love their soda.”
More importantly, has a celebrity endorsement ever moved you to buy a product? I say no. I think it makes you look at an advert, perhaps, and maybe it does drive sales, but personally, nope. It doesn’t alter my buying patterns.
How do you do italics here? What’s the code?
(i)voila(/i)
Change the ( to and voila!.
Thanks. I think I tried it once and it didn’t work.
(i)testing(/i)
I think I used brackets instead of parentheses.
Wait, it didn’t work.
@ Kiddo:
It’s “em” between arrows.
Use the little arrow-looking things on the , and . keys.
Thanks!
that first picture looks absolutely noting like her.
You mean she doesn’t normally have an alien coming out of her back?
ha! ^^^
somehow it is still budget.
Boy she and Jay-Z are always causing a buzz. I think she looks ridiculous. But didn’t Yezzus proclaim that she is the best female artist in the world several years ago when he pushed Taylor Swift to the side? If Yezzus proclaimed it then it must be true today right? I don’t really care one way or another about her, I won’t be buying what she is selling but I am pleased as punch that Jay-Z is out selling Kanye West and I have always thought that the truth is that Kanye West lusts for Bey who does not return that lust. And that is why Kimmode tries so hard to be Bey’s friend because she knows it too. The bottom line is the public has made all these people incredibly rich and that will not stop until the public grows very tired of them all and their pretentious shit.
Honestly i had to get up from my chair and try to put my hand on my ass like that. It looks weird and not sexy at all. not only on me i mean!
Lmfao!!!!! I thought about it…
@pao la – It makes her look like a freaking contortionist…
I’ve always been weirdly flexible, so it’s not hard to get my arm in that position (not that I can imagine any reason to ever do it). It’s certainly not a relaxing position, that’s for sure. Looks like a ‘phantom hand’ you see in screwed up photoshopped pics.
She is so incredibly boring. i don’t get the extreme love for her. She is so… simple. Vacant. I think she’s been so busy since her youth she hasn’t had any time to reflect or… think. All of her thoughts barely skim the surface and are delivered with dead eyes. People talk about manufactured pop stars and I think she is the prime example.
Yeah, all boobs stay perfectly round when you lay on your side like she does in the last pic. No Photoshop involved, at all.
“I will give Bey some credit, though: her knockers look amazing. Truly.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ditto.
like i always say, babies do the body good, forealz!
*hands in prayer of thanks for my D-cups*
😆
When a singer is doing more photoshoot than a supermodel, it’s because her singing career is on the decline, meaning she doesn’t sell that much and she still wants to retain every bit of limeliht pretending she is still the hottest chick in the game.
Beyonce is probably the artist with the most photoshoots, covers of any magazine challenged only by the Kardashian brigade. No supermodel, no IT actress, no Rihanna, nonothing comes close.
She is all image, hence she likes the stage to flaunt it giving the illusion that indeed she is at the top selling songs when her albums are on the decline…Madonna does the same trick, reviving her old success in tours cause she doesn’t sell anymore with her albums.
Beyonce likes raunchy videos to flaunt it and the more she ages, the more empty and juvenile are her songs, the more she shows her body to cover the ineptitude of her stupid songs.
When you listen to the ‘Writing Of The Wall’ my favourite album of DC, it’s just sad…the musicality the lyrics are more mature than what she does now and she was 17 in it !
I was such a fan but she has become a charicature who is so desperate to stay IT and to rival the likes of Rihanna and Gaga that she will move with what’s It at the moment, overbiding the trash like in the ‘bow down b*tches’ song, overbiding the edge with more and more underwears as artist clothes using the lame excuse that as an artist you can do everything or that she is just bi popular and Sasha Fierce made her do those things, ect…
She is my biggest disappointment as a singer for the last ten years. Give me Sade, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott over this anytime !
Well said, and I would add Esperanza Spalding and Jonelle Moneau (sic);
For all the crap madonna gets, from the 90s till recently, she has headlined stadium style (50-100,00 people) dance, pop, rock concerts, has Queen Bey ever filled a stadium on her own? don’t think so;
Tyra Banks back in the top model 90s was far more attractive than bouncy; check out Tyra’s stuff on Youtube;
Nothing fake or contrived about Tyra.
BTW, how many believe those are pr generated answers since beyawnce is no mensa candidate, in fact, she’s probably illiterate and uneducated when left to her own devices.
My biggest disappointment is Jennifer Hudson, but otherwise ita.
“When you listen to the ‘Writing Of The Wall’ my favourite album of DC, it’s just sad…the musicality the lyrics are more mature than what she does now and she was 17 in it !”
That album was fantastic! It makes one wonder if they were actually writing those songs.
I love the second pic..
she has gluten in her diet?? GOOP shivers, LOL!
Interesting shoot… I think I like it!
Sidenote: Almost every Beyonce post is filled with comments and complaints about how she always wears a wig. Well, that’s her real hair in the fourth pic!
If you are talking about the black and white side profile, that is the best photo of the bunch. I like it a lot, and her hair looks beautiful. But it relies on the talent of the photographer, rather than any personality being projected from the subject.
Tired of seeing her everywhere I turn. It’s almost like a Kardashian, and that’s never a good thing.
She looks amazing, but there’s no way that’s her neck in the first black and white picture. No-freaking-way!
A total narcissist. She wears very tacky clothes, has homely legs and is married to a drug dealer. I wish she and the Kardashians would just go away.
You, on the other hand I’m sure, are prefect.
I am, thank you for noticing.
Boring…she IS like a kardashian. Her and J promoting whores
She kinda looks like tyra banks I the shot.
Just Uggg
and whats up with her top lip..weird
Beyonce’s a beautiful woman and she has a great voice, but she’s SO boring.
I love it. She looks great in all the shots.
she definitely had a recent nose job. she looks like tyra banks in the second picture
I am so sick of these people. I am so sick of Beyonce. I don’t know who she and her husband think they are but I have had enough. Please please please go away
In the first and header photo she looks like Jennifer Lawrence.
I think the problem is that the person in the photos is Beyonce so that is all people see. She is overexposed and so in your face that people can’t get past that. I know I can’t. This might be an interesting shoot. Maybe even an amazing one. But all I see is pretentiousness because it’s Ms. Bey. Kwim?
Those last 3 shots are flawless. I love the one with the black and white neckpiece.
She’s trying to copy Kim Kardashian. These photos are not as good though!
I wish she’d stop talking. She contradicts herself every time.
One of the people doing the photoshopping didn’t like her. Otherwise how can the glitter fart picture be explained?
1st two pics proves this woman ain’t all that without her weave.
Alien hit with a glitter bomb. Just…no.
The amount of bitterness spewed on posts about Beyonce is truly staggering. They all involve some variation of: ugh, such a narcissist, go away. Doesn’t matter what the article is about or what Beyonce says or doesn’t say; the comments are nearly identical from one article to the next. I have to wonder: if the people commenting hate her and are so sick of her as they repeatedly claim, why read about her? Why waste the energy?
I never read Paris Hilton or Kardashian posts for that very reason. Just bizarre.
Call me crazy, but I really like these photos. I find them mesmerizing, and I think they are a much better way to pay homage to “Africa” than when she did blackface for L’Officiel.
Y’all so hard on Bey lol.
lol Y’all have to see the 6th picture in the series on their website. It’s hilarious, imo. (I do like the sparkly ones.)
http://www.flaunt.com/people/beyonce/
I think its a great photo shoot, love the African theme!