Sweet, sweet high calorie, low exercise, lazy-eyed, droopy-lidded rose petal-covered Whitaker loving. Apparently its so good that his first ever baby mamma still wants him back. Where else but in The News of The world:
his ex-girlfriend is still MADLY IN LOVE with the overweight actor and PRAYS he’ll leave his wife and go back to her one day.
Besotted Monique Miller, speaking for the first time about their turbulent 20-year relationship, said: “I idolised him and I still do.
“I long for us to be a proper family even though he is married and has children with another woman.
“Tonight when I watch Forest on TV at the Oscars it will be with an overwhelming sense of pride, but also great sadness as I think of the gaping hole in our lives.”
Ahhh yes theres nothing like an overweight actor doing well to bring the whole ‘gaping hole of your lives’ aspect to the fore. How do you think James Gandolfini does so well with the honeys … or John Travolta with the muscular young Scientologists. But enough about other famous fatties … Back to the star of the moment – the Last Fat Haggis Eating King of Scotland:
Monique, 43, revealed how the star:
# DROVE her wild with candlelit sex sessions in rose-scented baths.
# DRIFTED apart from her as he tasted more and more Tinseltown fame.
# BEDDED a string of other women.
# REFUSED to stand bail when she was locked up for trashing his flat after finding condoms on the floor.
First three points not so interesting … but condom findage always promises to deliver that extra babymomma trash bonus. And we are not disappointed:
She recalled: “One day I drove to see him at our old house and found condoms on the floor. Another woman had clearly just left our old bed and I went berserk.
“I tore up a load of paintings he had just bought and hacked up the bed. I was covered in feathers and maple syrup as Forest had been eating pancakes in bed.
“The police came and locked me up. Forest refused to pay my bail and I spent 24 hours in jail.”
Listen if Pancakeboy wont have you back – even covered in syrup – then it’s time to move on Monique. The Last King of IHOP has left the building.
OH!!!!WHATEVER!!Who’s this ho anyway?!!
CONGRATULATIONS FORREST for your oscar!!You’re a terrific actor and no one deserved it more than you!!!
You should post pics of Monique, I’m curious.
I’m trying to decide when the crazy of Whitaker’s ex turned into a chance to dump all over him. Seems like there’s more vitirol in this piece over him being heavy than there is over the crazy lady who seems to talk proudly about how she once trashed a house.
Its true … but my signature is fixating on the male fatties … I hate to disappoint my public with a more nuanced approach … plus he eats pancakes in bed
Urban DK you wild thing, I think I love you. . .
I love him as an actor, but it seems like he sweats gravy. It’s not just that he’s big; there’s something sloppy about him. His wife is so gorgeous–waaaaaaaay hotter than what he could get if he were a nobody. Sort of reminds me of Kevin James and his wife.
I wish he’d fix that eye. I don’t get why he doesn’t.
Every since I saw the Crying Game (why do the gender-bending films always have “cry” in the title? I kept thinking Boy Don’t Cry and had to look it up on imdb)
I have had a lot of respect for Witaker. He was so vulnerable in that movie and I think he’s just a superb actor.
When he was getting interviewed on the red carpet I was really impressed with how he talked about preparing for his Amin role and understanding the character. He just seems like he deserves a lot more roles and recognition, and now that he’s got an Oscar that’s sure to come.
This is a funny story by his psycho ex. The best part is the eating pancakes in bed!
urban dk, this was annoying. please come up with more interesting stuff to say than talk about weight. i gotta stop reading these blogs.
Dearest Athena
There is nothing more interesting than they wayward loves of wayward fatties … I cannot and will not betray the sacred trust that is delivering Chunky Chossip. I dont want the terrorists to win. I hope you can forgive me and learn to love again.
He really brought such significance to filming,with his baby face & the giant figure.Gentle Giant, really is some stuff fit for him.It’s years he’s just been in supporting line, however, I do believe, personally, he’ll be brought to world’s spotlingt someday, and so he is.He’s so benevollent, with passion, I do hope this dictator will create his own kingdom, Godspeed,dude, Mr. Whitaker!