Gwyneth Paltrow is promoting another movie! Let’s hope she doesn’t go all-out like she did with Iron Man 3, because that was like three solid months of interviews, appearances and The Full Goop. The Full Goop is not a pleasant place. The Full Goop is contradictory. The Full Goop is an enema wrapped in an enigma, covered with a 1970s bush. Anyway, Goop covers the new issue of Marie Claire Australia, because that’s the kind of publication Gwyneth can control, unlike the peasant-y Vanity Fair. The editorial is… um… I don’t like the cover and I think the photo with Goop in the t-neck is a Photoshop disaster. Some of this Marie Claire Australia interview sounds old, but I think they’re mixing in new quotes with old quotes. Specifically, I’ve never heard the quote about her kids growing up and having more complicated problems.
At 41, Gwyneth Paltrow remains luminously beautiful, her figure as lithe and graceful as ever. In many paparazzi photographs, it has become hard to tell which part of her “perfect” body is real or is the result of retouching. Paltrow, on the other hand, is so lovely in real life, it’s confounding – even close up, you would swear her face and body were somehow the product of Photoshop.
The daughter of the late director/ producer Bruce Paltrow (who died almost 11 years ago) and the actress Blythe Danner (with whom she co-starred in 2003 in Sylvia, a biopic of ill-fated poet Sylvia Plath), the actress attributes her air of calm assurance to her upbringing as much as to her professional success.
“The self-belief I have is thanks to my dad,” she says, her voice filling with emotion. “We had an incredible relationship, we understood each other to perfection.” She remembers a thousand fond anecdotes about him, like the time he took her to Paris as a teen and said, “I want you to get to know this city with a man who will love you forever”; and wise advice such as, “Look after your old friends. The possibility doesn’t exist to make new old friends.”
The other great man of her life has been – and is – her husband, Coldplay’s Chris Martin, to whom she has been married to for nearly a decade. Despite the fact that one of the provisos of this interview was not to ask about him, Paltrow herself never stops mentioning him in our time together. “One of the things that unites us the most is that we always laugh at the same jokes,” she reveals. For his part, Martin recently confessed in an interview: “When I met her, I went from being a loser to winning the lottery.”
Like every mother, she’s discovering that parenting doesn’t get any simpler as children grow. “Last night, I was talking about that with my husband: it gets more complicated. The problems are getting more serious and I notice that they need me more now than even when they were very little. My daughter, for example, who is super-intelligent, asks me [tough] questions! I feel I have to constantly be by her side.”
Are she and Martin planning to have a third? “I would love to, but I don’t know if I could start changing nappies again. Also, when my son was born I had terrible depression. It was strange because with my eldest it didn’t happen, I was super-happy. But with Moses it took me a year to get out of the hole.”
Ah, “nappies”. She’s SO English, y’all. And that’s an interesting description of postpartum depression, isn’t it? “The hole.” I’m not making fun of her postpartum depression, I’m just choosing to focus on the language she uses. I also find this increasingly interesting: “Despite the fact that one of the provisos of this interview was not to ask about him, Paltrow herself never stops mentioning him in our time together.” The official line is that Gwyneth and Chris are super-private and they will never be seen in the same photo together because couple-photos are for peasants, but in reality, Gwyneth would probably love it if Chris supported her publicly just a bit more. In reality, Gwyneth needs to talk about Chris to prove to us and to herself that her marriage is solid.
Photos courtesy of Marie Claire Australia.
I have gone trough many Goop stages and now I’m back to liking her.
I wouldn’t go so far as liking her, but she is a great source of entertainment. She’s clueless but harmless I think.
And as far as the husband thing goes, hell I wish he’d support her more, he’s extremely dick-ish in that respect.
I asked this before, but didn’t get an answer. Why do people dislike Chris?
I mean, in interviews he comes across as funny, self-deprecating and humble.
I just dislike the way her treats her. For the longest time (even now maybe) whenever a camera/pap would show up to get a picture of them together he’d take off running or hide. He’s gotten a little bit more lax lately. And I think (rumor anyway) he cheated on Goop with Kate Bosworth.
Watch the video from last week where she’s dancing around some garden party-you’ll be back to disliking her.
I have to say, I’ve always enjoyed Gwynnie. Where most people seem to find her insufferable, I just think she’s hilariously elitist and delightfully out-of-touch.
I think I would hate on her more if she wasn’t so obviously desperate for our attention. It makes her more vulnerable than the above-it-all image she tries to portray.
Well said, LeBarron!
Always?2 times a year!I believe her.
of course her daughter is ‘super-intelligent’ OF COURSE
Her head is so in the clouds that she has passed out of our galaxy and is rocketing through the universe at a speed scientists haven’t named yet
Lol!!!
To be fair, don’t most parents think their kids are special, super intelligent, and unbelievably talented?
Maybe, but most keep it to themselves and don’t feel compelled to brag to others in a very public way like this.
I have a daughter that I think will rule the world, but that is my personal thought not something I bark at other parents or anyone else for that matter. Seems too snarky. I guess if she wasn’t spouting ‘profound’ statements ever 30 seconds I wouldn’t think much of it, just a proud mother
@Marie, I beg to differ. From holiday newsletters to Facebook posts, bragging about how gifted, talented, special their kids are is like a competitive sport among some parents. It’s not even about the kids, I think, it’s like these parents need validation that they’re doing everything right.
And I will add that Goop here isn’t nearly as bad as many parents I know, bragging-wise. My brother in law, for example, can’t speak more than 2 or 3 sentences about his kids without working in the word “gifted” somewhere. Every. Single. Time.
I actually agree with bns and esmom on this point. Most parents find a way to work in facts about their kids they want you to know. I think the term used on CB of “humble-bragging” is applicable here. I have sat through many ambling stories whose point, it seems, was solely to slip in a “who is super-intelligent” type comment.
she must have a good publicist because she hasn’t done relevant work lately – what’s she doing on so many magazine covers?
We say nappies here in Australia too
Yes, but she’s American as apple pie.
+1
Can’t take a pop at her for that as the magazine may have changed it – they certainly do that all the time in the UK when interviewing US actors.
@Louisa
Right, but often publications will change words that don’t resonate with local readers. For example, the Obama girls could give an interview to a Brit paper about their parents and say “mom and dad” but it would be changed to “mum”.
I picture the “same jokes” being about peasants who don’t wear $1000 t-shirts.
The first paragraph of the article is hurl worthy. Is that a wig? Because her regular hair doesn’t look like that. Ever.
Was wondering the same thing. Her hair looks great here, imo. Perhaps they photoshopped some healthy onto that giant noggin of hers.
I think it’s amusing that her hair is next to the “Hot Hair Now” headline because her hair is super overprocessed and hay-like, not to mention sort of boring.
I was just going to comment on her hair as well. Usually it’s so flat and stringy and the color very one-dimensional. But it looks great here.
I have come full circle on Gwyn but I do have to mention that the cover is terrible. If she was posing any harder, she’d bust right off the page!
And she looks like a zombie! She’s a beautiful woman, but looks terrible there
“The Full Goop is an enema wrapped in an enigma, covered with a 1970s bush.”
Total ups to Kaiser. That one-liner was sheer brilliance, I think she wins the internet today with that one. *snigger*
That daddy quote about Paris is very unpleasant if you know anything about emotional incest. I feel sorry for her if she’s got to the age she has and still has him on a pedestal. Poor woman.
Eh, I give her a pass on her daddy issues. My father died when I was 22 & we were very close. It’s easy to put people on a pedestal when they die young. She’s just so bloody pretentious about it.
What’s rather ironic is that I just watched a Steven Spielberg interview with 60 minutes, that he did to promote Lincoln–he talked about his parents divorce.
His dad was always away working, and his mom was more like their partner in crime–he referred to her as “Peter Pan–the boy who never grew up”. He told this one story about how one of their neighboring families (in an all non-jewish neighborhood, except for them) used to yell out to them “the Spielberg’s are dirty jews”, and so Steven snuck out of his bedroom in the middle of the night and smeared peanut butter all over their windows–and his mom was so proud.
But yeah, so when his parents got a divorce, since he was his mama’s boy–he said he put her on a pedestal–he blamed his father for the divorce, even after he found out that his mom had divorced his dad. He and his father didn’t reconcile until he was in his mid thirties–he said that they got a divorce when he was 19 and Steven didn’t love his father like he should’ve for 15 years.
He said it was his wife that brought them back together. But I always thought that was interesting–which parent you ALWAYS make excuses for, no matte what.
(that interview intensified my crush–I think Spielberg is kind of dorky and goofy, and hot in an really normal way–I love his nose–so he’s my director crush)
I’m sorry you lost your father young, that must be a very hard path. My mother lost her mother young and it’s taken her many years to see that relationship clearly.
@ prim, thank you for your kind words 🙂
@ Virgilia, that’s very interesting about S.S. (I too have a geek fetish). My relationship with my mother has always been strained as well. Relationships of every kind are so hard. As much as I dislike Goop, I hope she finds peace with her family before it’s too late.
@Prim what a mean comment!! some people actually do love their parents you creep….not everything is about sex!!
I think that’s a lovely and sweet thing for a father to say to his daughter.
I also found that comment creepy. It somehow seems to push any other man out of the picture – i.e. a husband or boyfriend. A father can be close to his daughter but he also needs to step back so that she can evolve into a mature adult relationship with a man who is not related to her.
I find it creepy for the same reasons. Well adjusted fathers don’t try to hijack the romantic moments in their daughters’ lives.
“enema wrapped in an enigma”
Ha! Although I might have gone t’other way around – “enigma wrapped in an enema”. I mean her sh!t isn’t wrapped in anything much, is it? It’s all out there in the open.
Lol both you and Kaiser for the win.
She looks photoshopped in real life? LOL. Have you seen those pics of her all sweaty with lines on her face and frizzy hair, looking HUMAN and distinctly un-photoshopped at that book signing in the Hamptons?
She is just a person. Her farts smell and she gets BO (as we know from the Met gala). Good lord.
Yeah that opening paragraph made me want to barf.
I just saw Blue Jasmin, the Woody allen film in which a rich society woman has to start from scratch because her husband (a Bernie Madoff type) has ended up in jail.
It made me wonder how Gwyneth would do if she would lose all her privileges… Gwyneth to me has always seemed to be a nice girl – though clueless regarding the realities a normal person has to face.
So, what and how would Gwyneth do if she ended up living with her very peasanty sister, without money and connections (which happens to Jasmin in the film)?
That’s a great analogy. I can completely envision Gwyneth as a real-life Jasmine.
Actually, I think that, after some adjusting, she might do fine as a normal person… But she would probably manage to become a ‘perfect example’ to all the people around her again. By being a perfect mother at the school of her children for instance, one of those mother’s who organize the most perfect and elaborate birthday parties in spite of a low budget…
@Calcifer, to me, she’s just so entitled and flat-out nasty (from stories I’ve heard) that I can’t see her adjusting well to a world in which she isn’t surrounded by people catering to her ego and her every whim. Maybe it isn’t even 100% her fault, given her upbringing, but she lacks any maturity to me.
@Faye Lainey from LaineyGossip always stresses that Gwyneth is invariably polite and friendly during interviews… But maybe it is not so hard to be polite and friendly when you live in a world cushioned by wealth and privilege (though of course there are many rich celebrities who manage to be rude and unfriendly in spite of their good fortune). Anyway, I would be SO curious to see how Gwyneth would manage if she would lose all her assets!
@Calcifer – I’m going by what I heard from a friend of mine in LA – I won’t repost the whole story here, but basically, when Gwyneth attended Steven Spielberg’s son’s bar mitzvah, she went up to the rabbi’s wife and daughter and told them to get out of their seats because she wanted them for herself and her friends, and “I was told I can sit wherever I want.” I’ve been so turned off by her ever since.
But yes, seeing her sans money and sycophants would certainly be interesting.
@ Faye That would be horrible it it were true! And maybe it doesn’t sound impossible after what I have read about Gwyneth cutting in front of the school bus a few weeks ago, as well as the more recent story of her demanding that the showers at her gym be cleaned before she uses them…
lol, as if goop would allow a sibling to be peasanty!
she’s never been proud of her mom’s career/financials and was sure to marry someone that would forever keep her in the money/spotlight.
she quit mentioning her brother when his movie bombed.
BUT he has something coming out shortly so she’ll be back to how he’s her bff and perfect.
if she had never had her connections she’d be starring in her own mind’s reality show about how perfect she is compared to the rest of the world.
@Poppy It’s funny, yes, she never mentions her brother nor does she comment in a positive way on her mother’s accomplishments… She only name drops successful people…
True. Her mother mentions her in a flattering way but Goop never talks about her mother. Blythe Danner is a very respected actress and gave Goop an early role in 1992(as her daughter) in the TV movie “Cruel Doubt”). Not so much gratitude from the Goop.
@Meredith, and yet, Blythe is required to be an extra in Gwyneth and Stella’s garden party home movie / commercial for Stella McCartney’s capsule collection for GOOP! This little film amazed me by the way, I can’t imagine why her friends would want to appear in a commercial for GOOP/McCartney. What about being relaxed and having fun which is what a party is for? I imagine that must have been impossible with cameramen walking around and rail thin models ‘mingling’ with family and friends… Or maybe they took an hour or so to do the filming for the commercial after which models and camera’s were shoved out of the garden after which the real party started. Anyway, I would have felt used as a friend (or a mother)!
“even close up, you would swear her face and body were somehow the product of Photoshop.”
Good Lord this is hilarious!
I literally burst out laughing when I read the Harlequin-romance novel description of her incredible, perfect beauty. I don’t know how anyone wrote that with a straight face. I feel like telling the writer, “Bitch please . . .we all have access to the Internet, we know what the Goop really looks like.” Oy.
What did they do to her jaw in the second-last photo?
Ah, good old Gwynnie. We can always count on her to rub her fabulous life in our faces, yet try to seem like a commoner.
Right? It’s like an “infinity” jaw… @Nono
Yeah, she laughs at him and he laughs at her!
Meh. I don’t hate her like many people. And I agree that being a parent gets harder as the kids get older…there’s so much more to deal with than eating, sleeping and diaper changing. I’m glad she acknowledges that because with some celebs you get the sense that their kids are just cute accessories.
She looks really creepy in that last pic.
(a) Someone needs to report on Paltrow’s relationship with her mother. The subtext of every interview about Daddy is that she wasn’t really close to Mom. (I’m pretty sure she’s actually come out and said that.) It puts a different spin on Paltrow’s control and beauty issues.
(b) Of course no one can ASK about Martin — Paltrow has to control the narrative!
I’ve also wondered about her relationship with Mumsy. She was clearly “Daddy’s little girl.” I’ve never read or heard her speaking fondly of her mother.
Yes, she does seem to be daddy’s girl. I wonder if she saw her mother as competition? When she mentioned her trip to Paris with her father, I wondered why he wouldn’t take his wife too or instead?
Oh shut it, Gwyneth Palthrowup.
Too bad they cant photo shop her obnoxious personality.
+infinity
Many women who have been through postpartum depression -myself included- have described it in that exact way: a hole. I’ve always found it interesting that mothers who have endured ppd often use the same language when they talk about it: sinking, buried, a hole, empty, hollow, numb. Desperate. I give her credit for always talking so openly about it.
Absolutely agree.
“The Full Goop is an enema wrapped in an enigma, covered with a 1970s bush.”
Kaiser – That is perfection!
I agree – made me laugh.
I love Goop the way I love Julia Roberts, but Goop is the gift that keeps on giving.
I think we would all miss her terribly if she was to have a change of heart and disappear from the public eye.
🙄 🙄 🙄
Way too much Goop for one day.
in the last picture, she looks like rapunzels mother gothel in disney’s “tangled”. hahaha
“One of the things that unites us the most is that we always laugh at the same jokes,”
So in other words, they both laugh at HER.
I didn’t read the interview, but I’ve always gotten from GOOP is that she likes the status. She’s THE Steven Spielberg’s goddaughter (or whatever she is to him). She’s engaged to THE Brad Pitt. She’s married to THE Chris Martin, lead singer/rockstar of Coldplay. She’s THE mother of Chris Martin’s children. She’s THE “It Girl”.
I remember someone on here talking about how they know so many guys who date these hot, popular women, but eventually they find someone else and the complaints were all the same–I was lonely, I didn’t think she cared about me, It was depressing, boring…and so on.
There’s Hollywood boring (which is you have a normal life and don’t pimp out your friends and family) and then there’s just boring–which I think Goop is. She may be fun to hang out with a few times, but I think that’s really all she is. I don’t feel like you can have a serious conversation with her, and she’ll have your back, no matter what–not until you’re not as popular as Beyonce anymore.
Is Goop rocking a side part on the cover?!
Oh God, she’s on Ellen.
I am only here to say she looks like Claire Danes’ doppelganger.
The only time I’ve ever like gwynie was is the 90s. I was a teenager I didn’t know any better. She will never be in demand again like she was back in the day. And I think that’s her own fault no one wants to work with her cus she’s insufferabley annoying.