Bradley Cooper covers the January issue of GQ to promote American Hustle. God I’ve missed those serial-killer eyes staring out at me from a men’s magazine cover. It’s been too long. The cover looks kind of odd though, right? More than the usual BCoop variety of odd. His eyes are piercing as always, but there’s something different about his face shape. Kaiser, CB, and I think BCoop is a victim of overzealous ‘shopping. That’s unfortunate, but mags do it to everyone. The shoot is really bizarre because it feels like a cross between faux-hipster suit fashion and Miami Vice. These pictures tell me that skinny ties and loafers are the way to go, and socks are completely out of style this season. Socks are bad, bro.

It’s worth noting that we’re now living in a world where BCoop can be introduced as “Oscar-nominated actor Bradley Cooper” [for last year’s Silver Linings Playbook]. Now he’s been nominated for a Golden Globe for his role as a perm-sporting FBI agent. GQ is pumping up Bradley as a leading man, which is to be expected. He’s been a leading man for a handful of years thanks to the Hangover franchise, and now BCoop is complaining about his earlier work on Alias. Not cool.

Bradley also says something super creepy at the beginning of the interview. For some reason, he’s driving and eating a salad at the same time. Then he sees a dog on the side of the road. Out of nowhere, he says to the journo, “Can you imagine if we just ran over that dog?” What the hell. Why would GQ include this comment? BCoop seems a bit stoned in this interview. Here are some more excerpts:

On his SLP Oscar nomination: “Did I want to win it? I never thought that I would ever win it. So it wasn’t even a question of that.”

On John Milton’s Paradise Lost: “Milton, bro? Milton. F—in’–that was the end of it. Motherf—er’s 57 or whatever, blind, dictating it to his f—ing daughter-nurse–Paradise Lost? I mean, I just couldn’t… That poem f—ing killed me. Satan? That character was un-f—ing-believable. I could taste him in my mouth, dude, reading that. I really, really, for some reason, connected with that poem.”

He was disgruntled with his Alias role: “I would only work three days a week. And then for the second season, I got even more sidelined. I was like, ‘Ugh.’ And then next thing you know, I was like, ‘I want to f—ing kill myself.'” So against the advice of nearly every single person he knew, and despite having exactly zero future jobs lined up, he asked to be written off the show. “J.J. [Abrams] was like, ‘Okay.’ He probably would’ve fired me, anyway.”

Why he quit drugs & alcohol: “If I continued it, I was really going to sabotage my whole life.”

Did substance abuse affect his work? “I mean, it has to have. And to this day, of course, because it’s a life experience. And all I do is bring life experience. That’s all anybody really does. It’s inescapable. The one thing that I’ve learned in life is the best thing I can do is embrace who I am and then do that to the fullest extent, and then whatever happens, happens. The more steps I do to not do that, the farther I am away from fulfilling any potential I would have. So the answer to that question, then, is: Yes, of course it hindered the work.”

On work after getting sober: “I was doing these movies, and I got to meet Sandra Bullock and meet these people and work with them. And I’m sober, and I’m like, ‘Oh, I’m actually myself. And I don’t have to put on this air to be somebody else, and this person still wants to work with me? Oh, what the f— is that about?’ I was rediscovering myself in this workplace, and it was wonderful. Now, in the back of my head, or in a place of my heart of, like, creativity, did I feel utterly fulfilled? Absolutely not. But I was grateful and happy to be working, and filling that void in smaller moments.”

Amy Adams on Coop’s frat-boy rep: “I’ve just never seen him as a frat boy. I understand how people could perceive that. But he’s a very soulful person, a very open person. I think that people can mistake a sort of laid-back quality for that frat thing.”

David O. Russell on casting Coop for SLP: “He was to me a palpably angry person in Wedding Crashers. And then when I met him, his answer when I said that to him revealed so much dimension and depth from him as a human being. [Cooper] said how he had been someone who was thirty pounds heavier. He had been someone who tended to be not as happy. He had used sarcasm or anger to hide behind some of his fear. He was more afraid and less happy, so he had used that bristliness to hide that. Which was such an amazing answer that I just felt a real soul connection to the person, you know?”

[From GQ]

Errr. BCoop just said he could taste Milton in his mouth. No comment. Honestly, I can’t get past the dog comment at the beginning of the discussion. Why would he say such a thing, ever? Bradley is a weird guy for sure, but until now, I thought he was pretty harmless and sweet. I mean, he takes care of his mom. Why would he seem fixated on the urge to run over an animal? Maybe I’m reading too much into that part of the interview, but ugh.

Photos courtesy of Peggy Sirota/GQ