I can see summer blockbuster written all over this:

There are bad ideas in Hollywood, and then there are bad ideas. Kevin Costner as a futuristic water avenger with gills? Terrible. Demi Moore as a stripper? Yikes. Tom Cruise as a samurai? Even worse.

But no one says no in Hollywood when a star says yes. So Cruise, unable to stop his career suicide, has picked one more impossible mission: He is set to play a Nazi who tried but failed with a group of other resistors to assassinate Adolf Hitler in 1944.

The character, if depicted correctly, will have a heavy German accent. He will also have lost his left eye, his right hand and the fourth and fifth fingers of his left hand by the time of the film’s climax. He will then be murdered by Hitler.

If Cruise goes ahead and makes this movie, he won’t be ingratiating himself to the Germans. The problem stems from the fact that Germany has branded Scientology a cult and has denied it tax free status as a “religion.” As a major Scientology spokesperson, Cruise is usually questioned about Scientology whenever he comes to Germany to promote his films. It could therefore be presumed that Cruise, an Operating Level VII Thetan (which probably means he has their god Xenu as No. 2 on his cell phone speed dial), would hardly be Germany’s first choice to play such a “hero”.

The family of Count Caspar Schenk von Stauffenberg (the rebellious ex-Nazi officer Cruise would be playing in the film) aren’t happy that Cruise is considering playing the character, either. They are staunch Catholics and are fearful that Cruise is using this role as an opportunity to allow him to spout his Scientology logic in Germany via movie junkets.