If you live in Switzerland and are facing a Internet provider decision, do not use Swisscom. It’s been a week and counting and they have still not sent out someone to fix our DSL line. Gratefully I was away for most of that time, but have spent two days dialed in. Two days and counting.

– What did Kylie Minogue do to her face? [DListed]
– Kevin Costner gained some weight to go with that new hairline [Gawker]
– Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes go out for steak [I’m Not Obsessed]
– Lewis Black to play a judge in new Comedy Central series [Pajiba]
– Brooke Shields has a manly body [Bastardly]
– Paris Hilton’s ass flash identity crisis [CityRag]
– Justin Timberlake is writing songs for Madonna [PopSugar]
– Hayden Panettiere licking her friend’s boob [ICYDK]
– Pamela Anderson in a bikini [Drunken Stepfather]
– Tara Reid’s uneven boobs [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
– Natalie Portman in a bikini [CelebNewsWire]
– Join a fantasy celebrity league and bet on who will have the next scandal (believe me, I’m waiting for it) at Fafarazzi [Fafarazzi]
– Katie Couric collapses drunk. Where the hell is the good gossip this week? [popbytes]
– Dina Lohan also enjoys her alcoholic beverages, like way more than Katie Couric [yeeeah]
– Pete Doherty’s advice for Joe Francis is kind of as random as Tori Spelling’s mom telling Larry Birkhead how to do his hair [Agent Bedhead]
– Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker are for real, and they’re doing it to taunt Paris Hilton [Buzznet]
– Drew Barrymore to campaign for Covergirl [Evil Beet]