I apologize in advance for the mental picture you’ll get by reading this story. It’s still worth covering (despite the ick factor) because Candy Spelling keeps stressing that Tori is so much like her dad, Aaron. Candy is promoting her new book called Candy at Last, and she’s been rambling on about her daughter. Candy thinks Tori is like Aaron because they’re both such talented sToritellers. This is Candy’s way of delivering a backhanded compliment but also telling the world that Tori is full of sh-t.
Candy forgets she’s just as capable of massive TMI as her daughter. Tori might be releasing info about her failed partner-swapping adventures, but Candy’s revealing even worse in her book. She talks about a post-Aaron dalliance with a man who had a wang implant. She calls this guy her “bionic man.” I don’t know anything about these implants. But I’m learning too much about them from Candy:
The TMI: “My bionic man could go on for five or six hours, and there is no woman, middle-aged or otherwise, who wants to have sex for that long. It was like running a marathon.” She broke up with him to avoid having “those six-hour romps anymore.”
Is Tori really broke? “No. It’s not true. She is very successful. I’d never leave my kids in distress. I’m always there to support her. I even bought them a house in Malibu.”
Would she take Tori & kids into her home? “I might buy her an apartment. I don’t have room for four kids and a daughter.”
[From Daily Mail]
Five or six hours, really? That’s something that people brag about during their 20s, but I don’t think it ever happens without the aid of science. It seems rather excessive. Who has time to throw down for that long? I certainly don’t. A girl’s gotta sleep. A dude with a “bionic” wang clearly has issues outside the bedroom. And Candy Spelling desperately wants to sell books. Just like her daughter, Tori!
Gross.
Photos courtesy of WENN
Blurgh
TMI, cringe-worthy TMI. Thanks for letting us know, Candy.
Now we know the origins of the vomitousness.
Ugh. Ugh. Uuuuuggghhhhh. *pukes in the corner*
“I don’t have room for four kids and a daughter” somehow I don’t think Candi lives in a one bedroom basement apartment. Wasn’t there a reality show about Candi and it dealt with her designing some condo? I think it was called “Castle in the sky”?
As for “bionic wang ” any wagers on Dean looking into getting one?
When I read that, I took it to mean that she doesn’t have any room for Dean… But she would happily buy a house for Tori and the four kids.
And, yes, she has a monster penthouse. They could probably all live there without Candy ever knowing.
It’s not gross, its just a commentary about something that essentially every adult does (at least everyone here) so why the bother. Its good to hear though that all those people shooting their mouths about “till the dawn” and “all night long” — that sh1t is purely ego rambling and unrealistic. So its just relate-able to me to hear that.
There’s a time and place…
I didnt even know they were implanting such things these days but jeesh, cant say I blame her there. I like sex as much as the next person but no way would I want it to last that long. Anything more than an hour so would be tiresome and probably boring by that point. idk, guess it depends on his other skills.
Actually I find it hilarious. Yeah it’s a bit of an overshare but as overshares go it’s not that bad.
Six hours? There isn’t enough lube in the world for that.
^That was my thought too! You’d need some bionic lube for that adventure.
IDK. Maybe Tori isn’t ‘broke’ but Candy has her own agenda for saying that whether it’s true or not: everyone knows Candy is loaded and it could make HER look bad to acknowledge that she’s not helping her daughter out and that she’s ‘broke.’ But, whatever. I don’t care about their money issues, real or imagined.
And I agree, who the hell wants to deal with a six hour boner? Ugh. No thanks.
I used to go out with a guy who would go on FOREVER. It’s not enjoyable and it’s a great way to end up with yeast infections and a lot of irritation too. I was so glad to end that relationship.
Too much information- but wow – a man with a bionic penis and a large one at that- sign me up or where can my husband get one. Does a bionic penis have bionic sperm?
She’s tacky, classless and do I detect a sense of competition with her daughter? One-upmanship, perhaps? How vulgar.
All the money in the world, but no class.
Penile implants are a lot rarer since Viagra came out, but yeah- they’re essentially hydraulic pistons inside the penis. The man has to press an implanted “button” (on his thigh) and it fills. He has to press it again to release.
Any guy that *chooses* to keep it going for that long clearly has issues above the neck, not below the waist.
Ew and Ow.