Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones went to a fundraiser for Petra Nemcova’s tsunami relief foundation, the Happy Hearts Fund. They showed up, posed for photos, and then left without donating anything. When Douglas’ rep was asked why he didn’t pony up, he gave the weak excuse that he had no idea it was a charity event:

“I’m such a sucker for her accent” said one partygoer as he dropped several $20 bills into a large vase that was already teeming with cash at Gramercy Park Hotel, where Nemcova and her perfect 10 friends celebrated the charity in proper fete form.

If only certain A-listers were feeling so generous. Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones literally did one lap around the rooftop and posed for a quick a photo-op with Nemcova before leaving less than five minutes after arriving. Radar later asked Nemcova how much Douglas and Jones donated to her charity: “Oh, their presence here is enough of a donation,” said the tactful beauty. So does that mean they didn’t pony up any cash? “No, they didn’t make an actual donation,” Nemcova confirmed. Guess those five precious minutes are worth their weight in Happy Hearts.

Despite a prominently displayed pile of cash, video screens advertising the charity, and an impassioned plea made by Nemcova herself (which the couple missed), Douglas (via his rep) tells Radar that he and his wife were not aware that the gathering was a fundraiser.

Maybe they had somewhere else to go. They did host a celebrity golf tournament this weekend that served the dual purpose of showing everyone their marriage was fine. They have been plagued by rumors that they’re on the rocks but everthing seemed fine on the golf course. They even gave a bunch of bland statements about how great their relationship is and how they share a love of golf.

In related news, OK! has won a court case against Hello! Magazine involving the rights to photos from the Zeta-Jones Douglas wedding back in 2000. OK! paid for exclusive rights to the pictures and Hello! tried to go around that by sneaking in a guest with a camera and publishing those pics. OK! will receive about $2 million in damages, which is just about what they paid Zeta-Jones for the pictures.

Here are Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones at the 9th Annual Michael Douglas & Friends Celebrity Golf Tournament on 4/29.