Candice Bergen’s still promoting her memoir, A Fine Romance. I talked yesterday about Candice’s feelings on plastic surgery (she’s done with it). The more interesting discussion revolved around Candice’s stance on her weight gain (she believes she’s fat and doesn’t care). She talked more about diet and weight during her visit to Today. She won’t eat lunch with anyone who orders a kale salad. Candice also covers the notion of “having it all” as a woman, aging as an actor, and her father’s will:
Her weight comments: “It was a scant reference on page 150 or something. I was just saying, I don’t enjoy eating lunch with some women who only have kale. I just find it limiting … I’d rather not go on, if that’s what I have to eat to fuel myself. I’m very comfortable. I mean, would I love to lose 10, 15 pounds? Absolutely. But I just haven’t taken the steps to do it.”
On aging in Hollywood: “I’m on the older margin these days. I play mothers — mothers of old men, by the way! It’s so sort of distressing. But yeah, I feel free, frankly, pretty much across the board.”
On the single motherhood storyline on Murphy Brown: “That isn’t something that I in the least encourage; fathers are not dispensable. It’s like, ‘You can have it all.’ Well, you can’t quite. It costs your child or your job or your husband. When they were writing the scripts for Murphy, I fought tooth and nail that she not look like someone whose child was second priority to her career.”
Her dad left her out of his will: “I’d chased my father’s approval all my life and here was proof I’d never get it.”
[From Today & Daily Mail]
The part about her father’s will is an unexpected detail, but I guess it works for a memoir. Edgar Bergen, a well-known ventriloquist, left $10,000 to his dummy. He made a deliberate move to leave Candice nothing but give money to an inanimate object. That probably stung, but I hope Candice isn’t upset about the money itself. She made her own money.
On the kale thing, I agree with Candice but for a different reason. Kale is healthy and pretty cheap, so I eat it at home, and my dogs dig the stuff (for real). Yet when I visit a restaurant, there’s no way a salad will be the main course. Going out to eat is a treat, so it should be an occasion for indulgence. But if anyone else wants to eat kale at a restaurant, then I don’t have a problem sitting next to them. More bread for me!
Here’s the today show clip where Candice disses kale eaters.
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I want to go to lunch with Candice. And then dinner. Just hang out together for a weekend.
me too. And order steak and fries and point and laugh at all the salad eaters
Count me in on this lunch party! I have always loved Candice Bergen and now I love her even more. To me, she still looks fantastic!
I’m bringing the cocktails, cause Candice is awesome!
And eat pasta. And cake. And ice cream. And talk about how women have been lied to about being able to “have it all.”
As a vegan I often rely on salads in restaurants but I’m happy to order two glasses of red wine if calories are important to my dining partner.
Sits next to bettyrose.
Falls over Bettyrose and Mimif reaching for more sake…hic
Let the sakepocalypse* commence!
*Sake grenades on sale at Safeway, just saying.
Enjoy that sake ladies, cuz both those glasses of red wine are for *me*.
WINE HOARDER
Hey, mid-life ponch cannot be earned from from kale alone.
I’m a total salad eater. Eating with a judgy person is a nightmare- i don’t side eye other’s burgers and an operative sphincter is the grateful domain of mine and my kale’s. I don’t talk fiber at lunch or vegan this or GMO that. Food is food and to each their own. Don’t go to my restaurant and salad shame this chola!
I agree, I never turn down kale…especially when it’s on a cushy bed of PASTA!!! Oh, and accompanied by wine, because it’s a healthy blood-thinner 😉
Kale is delicious though. I made a Kale and Grapefruit salad the other day and it was so damn good.
A kale salad will START the meal…then it’s on to pasta with bread dipped in olive oil or some other MAIN COURSE…and then dessert. Food: it’s what’s for dinner.
Sits next to Pinky.
I want to eat with you, Pinky. You’re MY PEOPLE.
Kale is everything, but I get what she is saying.
I’m enjoying Candace ‘ s fatkid crusade lol
Hahaha, “fat kid crusade”. I enjoy it too!
Me too, honestly I know a women (friends mom) she is Candice’s age, maybe a year or two older. Very wealthy, very thin. It is just not enjoyable to go out to dinner with someone who only orders the salad and then pushes half of it around the plate. I find myself not having a nice meal. So I get what she is saying. Even the good conversation cannot make up for the longing looks at the other plates of food. I want to say to her you are 70 years old, order what you want, damned what other people think.
I feel like at Candice’s age this is when you can say f*** it, I’ve been on a diet for 50 years, I am not spending whatever years I have left dieting. I’m not saying go and put on 200 lbs, but have a dessert, eat the piece of bread, order a carb with your protein.
When I go out to eat with people like that, I make sure to order a gooey chocolate dessert and lick the spoon with every bite.
She’s beautiful, no matter what.
I am the same way. Love kale but lunch is so much more enjoyable when your companion isn’t side eyeing you for ordering a reuben.
Yes! I hate food shaming. I eat healthy 9/10 meals but for a cheat meal I just want some fries or chocolate pie, or a glass of damn soda. Sitting across ftom some people you would think I just smoked an entire pack of cigarettes, robbed a bank, and fed someone’s baby to a dingo.
Don’t side eye my food, don’t speak about my food, and if you lecture me about my food I am going to waterboard you with my Pepsi.
Exactly, I am not a soda drinker, do not like it canned or bottled, but I love a fountain soda. So the 1 (if that) I have a week is none of your business, so put your eyes back on your own plate and STFU.
Yea, but you guys are side eying the kale eater.
No, I am not. They can eat what they want. I don’t care if they eat kale as long as they don’t care if I eat an entire pizza in front of them. Unfortunately, 99.9% of the time, when I am having lunch with a “kale eater”, this is has not been the case. They want to discuss what I am eating, why I am eating it and making assumptions about how uneducated I am about food. Which I actually am not, I just don’t care. We all care about different things in life and some people don’t get that. You must take my issue seriously! You must like what I like! It’s not my life’s mission to put others down if they want to drink a soda or eat processed cheese and I don’t find that to be the case with people who Instagram pictures of their salads and arranged fruit bowls all day.
Perhaps I just need new lunch companions.
I suffer from gastric issues, similar to someone with a lap band (but it’s just me). So I never eat much at one time. Instead I graze all day. I often carry out 3/4 of a restaurant meal even if I don’t order much. I’m not skinny but I get all kinds of sideeye for this (from people who don’t know me). The ONLY place it doesn’t get a second look: Los Angeles. Crazy dysfunctional eating is par for the course. They’re probably just glad I’m not barfing in their bathroom!
I don’t eat kale unless it’s in the form of a flavored chip, added to a smoothie or a salad covered in eggs, cheese, almonds, avocado and creamy dressing.
I’ll go to lunch with Candace and make her feel good about her food choices… Wine, lobster bisque, sourdough bread and cheesecake for two!
YUM and now I want kale. Thanks a lot, runner of mountains.
Of all the things I mentioned, you’re wanting KALE??
Everytime I hear about how some people don’t have a good relationship with their parents and siblings, I thank god for giving me wonderful parents and siblings. My mum passed away last year but she knew without a doubt we loved her and that she loved us. We are still trying to move on from her loss and the main thing that is helping us is the love and support we have for each other. The doctors, nurses and the people who came to my mum’s funeral still to this day tell us that they could see the genuine love between us. That legacy of love my parents has given us is what I will try and pass on to the next generation.
PS: I totally agree with how dining with people who kind of eats nothing. Even though it’s my friends I still feel uncomfortable eating a lot if they don’t.
Yep – approval and love are far greater blessings than money when it comes to parents.
I’m sorry for your loss, but as you said, you had something that was significant to lose.
A horrible person leaves nothing to a daughter, but money to an inanimate object. Yeesh.
So sorry for your loss Maya – I lost my mum in November and am still trying to deal with it too. My parents loved me unconditionally and I realize more than ever how lucky I was to have them.
Ugh. About 10 years ago, my husband and I were in New York and we were going to Areole, which has been described as the most romantic restaurant in New York. This other couple glommed onto our reservation and invited themselves along, and the woman, who weighs two ounces, ordered steamed vegetables. So I felt like a lumberjack. I agree with Candice. If I have to eat steamed vegetables at a great New York restaurant, just shoot me now.
LOL!
Did she *only* get steamed vegg? I would understand if she got it as a side or something, but ONLY vegg?
Only. No appetizer, no entree, no dessert. Steamed veg. No butter.
This makes me sad!
AMEN!
I’m with you! If you’re going out to eat – EAT!
Another pet peeve of mine is a close friend of mine who plays with her food and takes forever to eat. She’s an adult, but doesn’t act like it sometimes….
She could have at least had them roasted.
Roasted veggies are THE BOMB. My huz roasts them in olive oil and they damn near taste like candy.
OMG whyyyyyyy?
I hope you split the bill four ways and she at least PAID for part of your hearty sustenance?!
GNAT – Ordering steamed veg at a fine NY restaurant = eating disorder. The sad irony is that you had the emotionally healthy mindset about what you ordered for dinner but felt like a lumberjack. We have our food/weight obsessed culture to thank for giving you the basis for feeling that way.
So true. I heard all the “voices” telling me women should have dainty appetites and I had no business ordering dessert when I’m not a size two. But, as usual, I ignored them. Lol
I’m eating steamed veggies (and soup) at the moment and I’M cheesed at that woman. I’m totally not going to eat cookies with dulce de leche once I’m done with the health bit of my meal.
She’s entitled to her opinion, and I always appreciate her sass, but kale is f*cking delicious.
Candace reminds me of my mom in the sense that she doesn’t understand that some people genuinely enjoy the taste of healthy food. She seems to think that nutrition is somehow synonymous with deprivation.
That being said, I would gladly challenge her to a crème brulee-eating contest.
I don’t mind kale, but I add my own seasonings and do my own thing with it. I wonder if it would taste bad in a restaurant. I’ve noticed a lot of people complaining about the taste of kale on Facebook, so I wonder if it simply tastes better if you handle it on your own.
Kale can be bitter if not prepared properly, perhaps that’s why they are complaining. Kale ceasar salad is the bomb, and completely defeats the notion of kale as a “diet” food.
Well, I got kale once at a steakhouse and it was slathered in butter. It was flavorful in the sense that it tasted like melted butter, which is delicious, but I prefer to actually taste the kale.
Mimif-make me a kale Caesar right now!! I’ve never experienced one before, but it sounds amazing.
So f-cking good, Kitten. Not gonna lie, I can eat like 17 servings of it. Also, goes great with sake.
Lots of recipes online, but you must make the dressing from scratch! No cheating with bottled dressing.
mimif – I agree! I love adding kale (and arugula) to my romaine lettuce when making a caeser salad. It tastes so good plus it’s extra fibre (insert smiley poo face emoticon here).
Time for a CB field trip to SF! We’ve got great kale salad out here–nothing rabbit-y about it. Like this one: http://www.tastebook.com/recipes/4110959-Tacolicious-Kale-Salad (Tacolicious has great kale tacos, too)
You know what else goes good with sake, mimif? Sushi.
I really like kale too, but I think she is using it more as a symbol of the ultra ultra health/restrictive diet food du jour.
@kiddo – that’s how I read it as well.
But all her comments about dieting and food makes it sound like she believes in only two extremes: indulging in decadent, delicious food or eating nutritious, tasteless food.
I think that just reflects her personal taste, but I also think that she’s likely never tried the healthy food that she seems to abhor so much.
@inthekitchen, lol. Are you being mimif, or is that how you read it?
@kitten, I think she is in that not giving any Fs phase, whatever that entails.
I lol’d at inthekitchen too, but it’s not me, I promise. I’m @thebar.
@inthekitchen
Your blog is amazing. I’m going to have to try that chocolate cuddle cake out.
pfff…I’d kick both your azzes in that type of competition.
Kitten, kale caesars are the absolute best! I never use any other lettuce for mine – it’s kale all the way! Oh, and my homemade creamy caesar dressing using real anchovies….yummmmmm.
I’m coming over immediately.
I’ve never seen the appeal of kale. Or quinoa. I just don’t enjoy dirt flavored food, I guess.
me too!
Me three! Dirt flavored, perfect description.
I’d love to hear her comments on Leann Rimes’ eating habits or the lack there of with just a little bit of snark thrown in for good measure.
poor kale though, it’s becoming a derogatory substitute word for diet “noone likes to go out with someone who eat only kale”, “why does she only graze on kale”, “who want to date a kalenivore?”.
why never spinach, brocolli, beansprout, or such things.
Spinach is the Devil, test me on it!
I think she meant kale just as an example of women who diet too strenuously. She was talking about the women who order like GNAT’s companion did. You know, order the smallest, most boring salad and then nibble on a lettuce leaf.
yeah, she’s being hyperbolic. She’s probably spent years with women who deny themselves everything, including herself. I don’t think it’s really offensive. Not everything a celebrity says has to be this cooing, coddle fest that asks women to just love themselves. She’s just being straight about it!
I love kale…but that’s not my top choice for a main dish in a restaurant. Maybe she also means it in that way, that going out to eat is a treat and specially when you do it with friends, what you eat/drink might make part of the social package. I guess it also depends in the kind of eater you are, for a gourmand is way funnier to eat with other gourmands. Personally I don’t care about what others eat, but if I’m going out to eat in a special occasion I will be more prone to do it with people who will be willing to indulge in that specific occasion then the ones who will order a salad and stare at you while you go through appetizers, main dish and dessert 😉 And I do have vegetarian friends who will be quite the same…and and you don’t need to be fat to actually enjoy food.
I don’t think the will thing was about the money. When people lose a parent, they can get a bit crazy – especially if there were approval problems. Everything becomes a symbol of the love or the memory or the truth of the relationship with that parent. Getting nothing – not even a message or a note – it leaves you hanging and you know that now you will never get the chance to make things right with them again. That hope is gone. If they had given anything, you could interpret what you needed to out of the gesture, but not when there’s nothing.
(extrapolated from my mom’s stuff, not mine. my dad loved me with the warmth of a thousand suns and left a wonderful letter for me.)
I agree. It’s about the consideration given.
My father passed away a few weeks ago, and I found a letter he had written that ended with a wonderful compliment to me. I will cherish it more than anything monetary he could have left me.
I think I would be hurt if my father left me nothing, but left $10000 to a puppet. Agree it’s not the money, it’s just..but he’s a puppet…I’m you’re daughter..?
It is completely cruel. No excuses for it.
Embarrassing a person for eating kale is no better than shaming someone for eating a cheeseburger. If Candace didn’t have anything to promote, I highly doubt she would sharing all this sage culinary insight with the world. She should just eat what she wants, and leave others alone to eat what they want. This can’t be the most interesting stuff she has to talk about.
It is amazing how everything gets taken out of context. In the interview Matt Lauer asked her about this, to which her reply was it was 1 sentence 150 pages in and this is what everyone wants to talk about. In the context of the book and the interview she is discussing a freedom in life that she has found, the freedom comes with age and not worrying about what others think. The freedom to indulge after a life of staying a certain size for Hollywood. The freedom to not feel guilty if she is eating the bread and getting a desert. Even she was pretty shocked for all that was in the book the press picks up on one sentence about eating kale. She was hardly judging anyone.
I think it’s that she is such a breath of fresh air! I look at women like Kyra Sedgewick who has struggled with an eating disorder and obviously is sill very thin, and when I was 5’5″ and 145 lbs and very athletically built, I felt like a hippo. Many of these actresses and models starve themselves to look like that, especially once past menopause, when the pounds are even tougher to get off. It’s nice to hear someone being honest.
I will wait and see how many interviews she does where she talks about weight before I say I am tired of this woman talking about weight to sell a book.
Wow, a scant reference on page 150 has turned into a minefield.
Apparently, it’s shameful to say you like to eat and that at 69 you’re fine with being out of the hot chick derby.
I totally agree that’s how she meant it-I am who I am and I’m not interested in changing to be considered “attractive,” which I love, but I think it’s more the comments she’s made in other interviews about friends going to the bathroom to throw up (which sounded a little cold) and comments about people who only eat vegetables. I think people are just tired of everyone being so critical about women’s diets in general. I don’t think everyone needs to have an opinion on how someone chooses to live their life-whether it’s Candace Bergen openly admitting she likes to indulge or someone who’s very into nutrition and healthy eating.
I think she’s just being pretty frank, not cold. She might have meant friends who did that in the past, not today.
This is more about the kale comment than her other comments but:
I think she’s also being humorous. I like kale well enough, but I chuckled when I read her comment. I guess there are other ways she could express her opinions, but they probably wouldn’t be as funny.
In terms of what she wrote in her book I agree that she’s being frank rather than cold when she says people vomit up their food, and I think it conjures up clear, vivid imagery rather than obfuscating the issue by using a euphemism to describe it.
I noticed in the Today Interview she did say “some” women when discussing kale rather than putting a uniform stamp on everyone.
My younger self would have been horrified. My 56-year-old self revels in the freedom of not caring about what other people think. I remember when Murphy Brown was on TV, and we admired her strength and independence. Still feel the same way about her. Ms. Bergen remains a role model.
last weekend I found a vegan restaurant. Super good I never imagined I would love vegetables that much. I went back there the next day for lunch and dinner and decided I will be a vegan from now on. Today I’m at work and craving for protein- I’m getting crazy so I ordered my hearty lunch and eat happily. I can’t be a vegetarian. 🙁
Will she have lunch with me if I order a steak with it?
I’m sorry…I just can’t anymore…the kale love…kale has been around forever…I have eaten it forever (51) for the longest time I was thinking that kale was this new stuff and they couldn’t possibly be talking about the kale that I grew up on…I’m glad you like it, but please get over yourself…there is more to life
The beauty of older women is so ethereal.. it’s in the way they carry themselves, the confidence, and the words…it’s all so admirable. If they are scared in anyway, I can never feel it… I feel safe and secure when I hear an older woman speak with confidence and assurance – is that strange? Also I hope I age into a dignified, poised swan with the IDGAF vibes – I want to walk through life with insouciant flair of what others may say…. I take my hat off to Candace Bergen!
I am surprised by how many people took what she said…. as if she sh*t talked kale. As if she has greatly offended poor poor kale. Calling someone a “salad eater” is very 1990’s. Everyone now is all preachy about the kale. So she is calling them kale eaters.
Where as I took it as her making a general statement, about folks who go out to dinner. To only push their food around the plate. The non-eaters.
Be it a salad, steamed veggies or kale. The folks who do not eat. And most likely spend the entire meal obsessing about their food. The food that they don’t eat.
While you are attempting to enjoy your dinner. They are preaching about how they are raw foot eaters. All the while thinking you are a cow, for having the audacity to eat solids in front of them.
Not once did I think, Candice was sh*t talking kale. As much as she was sh*t talking folks who screw up her dinner. With their need to be preachy about the food, they are not eating off their own plate.
+1 And also, I assume this is an offensive PR strategy to prevent talk of her weight gain usurping her book promotion.
Yes, reminded me of Eddie Murphy’s act ” I’ll just have a salad”.)))
I can’t get over the fact that her dad left her out of his will. Did he leave all his money to his wife ? What about Candices’s brother? If she was the only one left out, then that is really sh*tty.
I used to get annoyed when going out to eat with people who watched what they ate. They’d usually order a salad, occasionally top it with lean protein or have a really small appetizer, and then push the food around while gazing longingly at my food or disgusted at my lack of will power and gluttony.
Now, I try to just enjoy my meal and the conversation and not care what my companions are eating or not eating or staring or judging. You never know what issues they have – food related or not – and if people want to go out with you to eat, I just assume they want my company (okay, occasionally, it’s to ask for a favor).
It is not comfortable on the oher side of the fence as well )) I used to be (at different times) a raw fooder, vegetarian, vegan, do various three-four week cleanses etc. Sometimes you go out with people who just eat, and not following some rules about it. And I never gazed at their plate, never pushed my food around mine. I just wanted to enjoy going out in their company. There were always comments about my food, with some kind of a weird self- righteousness : ” Well, I know I should do this too, but I don’t have your iron will power to eat this crap you’re having”. As if I’m implying their guilt with my salad. Or “but you know, meat is necessary for your health?” etc etc. Very uncomfortable.
I’m loving this woman more and more as I read what she wrote in her book!
I only go out to eat with my husband and kids so I don’t really worry about this. However y’all have me convinced to give kale another try.
Sometimes you just need a cheeseburger!
Serious question, since everybody be lovin’ on the kale. What’s the deal with kale?? Why is kale the new black? In greens? Fine that didn’t make sense. But WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH KALE???
(I really want to know; I’ve never tried it.)
Kale Caesar salad might be one of my favorite things in the world…def don’t knock kale. But really food shaming in either direction is wrong…don’t pay attention to what’s on my plate and I don’t really care what’s on yours …I don’t understand how eating too much or too little is anyone’s buisness. I go out to eat with friends for the conversation and company not to analyze each other’s food.
Love what she said about fathers not being dispensible. Didn’t O’Reilly make a similar statement and get crucified here for it?
Candice Bergen’s atttitude on aging, weight, etc… reminds me of Jerry Hall. There comes a certain point in your life (and at 50 – I’m at it) – where you have to say “the jig is up.” That doesn’t mean letting oneself go, but it does mean letting go of a lot of your youthful vanities. There is something truly liberating about turning 50. I dreaded it until it happened and I can tell you younger ladies – you HAVE to go into with the right attitude. Right before you turn 50, read Peter Mayle’s “A Year In Provence”. I’ve suggested it here before and I’m doing it again. It’s a VERY short read, but it will (regardless of your age) give you such a huge desire for the true pleasures of life (in which kale is not a part). At 20 or 30, many women wouldn’t dare indulge in certain things because …fill in the vanity blank. At 50, you don’t care. If it’s pleasurable and enjoyable, you’re going to do it because you’ve realized that life is short…that you have more years behind you than in front of you and you don’t want to miss out on things. You aren’t going to be on the cover of the SI Swimsuit issue, so go ahead and enjoy that slice of decadent cheesecake or that fresh-baked artisan bread with REAL butter smeared on it. Don’t worry if you pack on a couple of pounds….just buy some fabulous shoes or a bag to distract people. BE fun…. have cocktail parties. I never started having cocktail parties until I was 50. They are wonderful! Friends sitting around, having every kind of cocktail imaginable (I stock an enviable bar) and fabulous foods that we all “pot luck”. Homemade guacamole and hummus, grilled meats of all kinds, petit fours and rugelachs….whatever we want and GREAT conversation and music and reminiscing and things that have nothing to do with “looking” a certain way. After 50, it’s all about “being ” a certain way.
Beautiful comment. Thank you for writing it.
I love her comments! I eat like a pig when I go out to eat. IMO what’s the point of going to a restaurant if you aren’t going to eat something fun? That said, if someone wants to eat a salad when out, that doesn’t matter either. As long as you enjoy your food.
I think she used ‘kale eaters’ to basically short cut to women with eating/food disorders/weight obsessions and how they just eat nothing and aren’t fun to eat with. I don’t think she’s actually saying she has anything against someone who enjoys eating healthily and might choose to order the salad.