Paris Hilton and her most recent boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, got into a physical altercation with a bodyguard at a club last night. Now most people, even celebrities, would call the police, a lawyer, or their PR rep (to make sure they come off looking good). What do Paris and Doug do? They call Radar to tell them all about it. Any website devoted to such thorough documenting of Octomom’s every moment has got to be the logical first stop, right?

Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt were involved in a brawl with a bodyguard in Miami early Friday. In a RadarOnline.com exclusive, Paris told us that she and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt were attacked at the DJ booth at the recently re-opened posh Fontainebleau hotel in Miami Beach.

Paris approached the DJ in the nightclub at approximately 3am and requested a song by Madonna or Black Eyed Peas, something she could dance to. The DJ was spinning techno music. Suddenly a bodyguard near the DJ pushed Paris, she told RadarOnline.com. Doug then told the man not to touch his girlfriend.

Reinhardt tells RadarOnline.com, “I came to Paris’ aid,” and all hell broke loose! The bodyguard and Doug then began to brawl. “I can’t believe someone would do this to us, it’s really scary,” Paris told RadarOnline.com. Hotel security intervened and the fight was broken up.

The cops were called to the scene, but no charges were filed. Paris was not injured, but Doug had a bloody lip. Paris and Doug left the club and planned to bolt from Miami as soon as possible.

[From Radar]

Honestly, I don’t blame the body guard. If Paris Hilton got within three feet of me, I’d push her too. It’s just a natural reflex that can’t be helped; same as when the doctor hits your knee with that rubber triangle dealie during a checkup. Actually, if I had a rubber triangle dealie I’d hit Paris with that. Double reflex. She should just be glad the guy wasn’t a doctor moonlighting as a bodyguard (as they’re known to do).

What a crap-ass bodyguard though. Isn’t their purpose to avoid physical harm? Shouldn’t that be the last resort? Clearly that’s not the case. I understand the urge to physically attack Paris Hilton, but come on. Obviously we only know Paris and Doug’s side, but it sounds like the guy was clearly out of line. And I should never – ever – have to be on Paris Hilton’s side. This guy’s a douchebag just for making me do that.

In other Paris news, German newspaper The Bild claims that Doug proposed to her on Tuesday. But Paris wasn’t exactly feeling it. They weren’t clear if the issue was the proposal itself or the ring, but either way her response was that she’d think it over.

Paris Hilton is said to be considering Doug Reinhardt’s marriage proposal – but has so far refused to give a definitive answer. The 28-year-old hotel heiress was reportedly unimpressed when her boyfriend got down on one knee during dinner with her parents Kathy and Rick at The Ivy restaurant in Los Angeles on Tuesday. Doug (23) presented Paris with a Lorraine Schwartz engagement ring but instead of jumping for joy, the socialite snapped the ring box shut and said she would need time to consider his marriage offer. The couple were photographed leaving the eatery together some time later, but Doug seemed devastated and refused to look at the blonde beauty.

[From Bild]

The pictures from that night do show Doug looking rather upset, but that could be for any reason. Though he seems to love all the attention he’s getting, so I doubt he’s distraught due to the paparazzi. Paris doesn’t seem the type to say no to a proposal. But Doug also made it clear he wants to have babies with her (gross), and something tells me Paris is the sort who wants a guy that’s unavailable. So maybe she really is passing on this one.

Update: Kathy Hilton just told Us Weekly “I’m not planning any weddings anytime soon for either of them!” Which doesn’t mean Doug didn’t propose, but if he did, Paris didn’t accept.

Here’s Paris and Doug spending an afternoon shopping in Miami Beach yesterday. There does seem to be some distance between them in these pictures. Images thanks to BauerGriffinOnline.