In case you haven’t realized by now, the more tabloidy UK press outlets are still in full revolt against Duchess Kate and Prince William. It got so bad so quickly that there are even stories about Kate’s family too, although the long-awaited tell-all article about Dodgy Uncle Gary Goldsmith has still not materialized. Instead, we’ve got this rough story about Kate’s brother James Middleton and how he’s awful at business. Who knew that putting Instagram images on marshmallows would end up being such a dreadful money pit?
Kate Middleton’s brother’s marshmallow image-printing business lost almost £250,000 between November 2013 and December last year. According to The Sun, business accounts showed James Middleton’s business venture Boomf took a hit of £243,986.
Boomf aims to create ‘multi-sensory’ marshmallows by allowing customers to have their own Instagram pictures printed onto a set of the sweets. However, the paper reported the company was not in the red because it had raised £1million in funding. Last year, Mr Middleton revealed the business had gone ‘mobile’ when he unveiled an ‘on-the-go printing machine’ in the form of a repurposed tricycle. The machine allows images to be printed onto marshmallows instantly before they are sold as a box of nine for £15.
There’s more at the link about that stupid “Boomf on Demand” via tricycle, because hahaha, isn’t it just so cute and quaint to deliver stupid marshmallows to people at exorbitant cost? Anyway, it seems that the Marshmallow Business Model cannot be sustained – £243,986 is a lot of money to blow through in less than two years!!!!! – but somehow they managed to get £1 million in additional funding? Who’s putting down that kind of money on James Middleton’s stupid idea? Uncle Gary? Prince William? William already bought a new home for the Middletons – did he also try to buy a new career for James? Doubtful. It probably did come from dodgy Uncle Gary.
Hey, at least the Daily Mail didn’t do a story about how James and Pippa are pushy and useless. Probably because they just did that story last month.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Boomf’s IG.
That’s a lot of money for marshmallows.
I know, right? My supermarket had 2 bags for $1 the other day…….and I have a sharpie marker. Hey, do I have a business idea here? Emmmmm……NO!
I know, right? My supermarket had 2 bags for $1 the other day…….and I have a sharpie marker. Hey, do I have a business idea here? Emmmmm……NO!
Both siblings are just embarrassing. Pippa can’t even write a party book and this one sells marshmallows. It’s like an episode of SNL. All three kids seem intellectually limited. Am I missing something?
At least Pippa tends to move on quite quickly when it becomes apparent she isn’t good at a project. James seems determined to make this work, blagging money from various members of his family, when it was obvious this would fail very early on.
Reminds me of my cousins. Their parents (my uncle and aunt) are really rich, but they built their business from the ground up, and earned every cent. The kids grew up with the money without the responsibility, so now they think they can be CEO’s and whatever, just because, you know, dad did it. So they are USELESS – over 30, never held a real job, everything and everyone is beneath them, try to start their own business but are completely irresponsible and so fail miserably; parents can’t hire them as the business is a partnership and the partners don’t want the idiot kids in the business … and so my two cousins float around spending my uncle’s money, being completely entitled and not doing anything useful.
Such is the life of Pippa and James. Their families will continue to support their stupidity as they are the ones who created and sustained this sense of entitlement.
There are several once successful, mom and pop businesses where I live that were run into the ground after the second generation took over.
As the saying goes: ‘Shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations’. Your cousins are ahead of schedule.
I wouldn’t say Pippa is a failure. She may not be a successful author but she’s an athletic star and she participates in charity events which is nice to see.
Pippa’s ideas on how to make money for herself seem less dumb though. I mean, the marshmallow thing — why would anyone think that was a good idea?
It’s a dumb idea. He was on Good Morning America trying to push these marshmallows and kind of insinuating he was going to give an exclusive on his sister. Anyway,he didn’t spill the beans on his sister and those marshmallows were expensive. It’s so lame.
Imagine. People don’t want marsh mellows with pictures on them. Well spank my monkey.
In that last picture, what looks like somebody drew a circle around his junk area turns out just to be a seam in the bicycle shorts. In case you were about to vomit.
Too late; vomited.
Is this a better or worse business idea than his failed adult-themed sexy cakes business that failed a few years ago? I thought it paired nicely with the pr0n / “adult” costumes PP sells. So classy.
This has to be worse. At least with sexy cakes, you’ll always have the bachelor/bachelorette party market, plus maybe the “I’m getting divorced, now I can bang lots of randoms again” party market. But Instagram pics on marshmallows? That’s a little *too* niche. And was his cake business really “sexy cakes”? I totally did not know that, somehow.
From the DM
‘It caused controversy in its early days by selling a line of adult-themed cakes iced with naughty slogans. These included a ‘stud muffin’ cake featuring a picture of a man and the caption: ‘A willy that wriggles and gives me the giggles’.’
I was wondering what the thinking was behind this marshmallow idea. I guess it was “what’s popular that we can combine with sugary treats?”
The whole marshmallow idea with that price point is just ridiculous and kind of insulting. How stupid and out of touch can one be?
Not that I care about James Middleton succeeding, but if I were him and really wanted to launch a luxury product, I’d sell artisan shaving creams and oils and soap and what ever men use for their beards. Those are fairly cheap to produce, but can be sold with higher price if crafted, packaged and branded well. Though I have a feeling that what ever James Middleton touches will turn to crap.
Good Names – your comment cracked me up!! Unfortunately you didn’t warn us in time. I vomited too.
Selling expensive marshmallows from a tricycle could be an episode straight from Portlandia…can’t you just see Fred Armiston peddling around Portland, printing horribly overpriced hipster marshmallows?
This. Totally!
I love it so much.
Free episode idea right here Portlandia writers!!
oh yes please!
Totally, lol.
Funny, I remember when James was first launching this marshmallow venture, people seemed really supportive and not aghast at the concept. Sometimes crazy/implausible stuff does take off. But apparently this was not once of those exceptions.
Tax write-off for the various Middletons?
Keeps James occupied and he can draw a salary.
Only if it were non-profit. You cant get a tax write-off by funding a company.
9 marshmallows for 15 quid. Why did his mother not tell him: Your client base will be 3 year olds who want pictures of Elsa, and most parents will never spend that kind of money on party favours. How in the world did the son of an entrepreneur end up so utterly useless at coming up with a business idea.
“Your client base will be 3 year olds who want pictures of Elsa” LOL!
True .
What is so wrong to sell more cheaper stuff?
Well with a name like Boomf its never going to take off
Seems none of those kids inherited their parents business sense.
Repurposed tricycle? I know some Hare Krishna guys who collect waste food from supermarkets, make it into curries and then go about (using a repurposed somethingorother) giving lunch away to anyone who’s hungry. THAT’S what you do with a repurposed tricycle. You don’t make it all marshmallow-sticky with yesterday’s selfies and charge 15 quid if anyone so much looks in your general direction.
What a knob jockey.
I think I might still be laughing about this tomorrow. No froth required!
PS – it’s “not in the red because it had raised £1million in funding”.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Ha.
James Middleton, giving high leverage a whole new colour palette.
He is a brilliant businessman. He separates idiots from their money.
Hahaha!! Sixer and Suze, let’s hope Uncle Gary isn’t reading this for poor James’s sake. I think you just lifted the fiscal duvet off the Marshmallow mayhem.
He is just ugh.
I’ll raise your ‘ugh’ with four of a kind: ‘revolting’ ‘repulsive’ ‘gross’ and ‘nasty’
£15 for NINE marshmallows? Really? You can buy a massive bag for £1. Granted they don’t have pictures on them, but hey, funny thing is when I print pictures I don’t automatically think hmmm I wish I could EAT THIS….
Equally you could just print 9 pictures and buy some marshmallows and still have change left over… Just saying James.
Right. I never want to eat cakes with pictures on them. I’m sure the ink is edible, but it just looks gross to me. So why would I buy marshmellows with pictures on them? To put in cocoa and turn it all inky? Gross.
Is it wrong to feel a little sad for James & Pippa?
No. It’s a bit like reading “Pride and Prejudice” and feeling a little sorry for Caroline Bingley, or Mary Bennet. Sadly, there cannot be splendid matches for every ambitious, silly hopeful out there. Kate lucked out.
i feel bad for James. He has to make his living. Pippa can always get married.
Unless he lucks into his own Beatrice Borromeo or Tatiana Santa Domingo. If nothing else, those Monaco princelings “Married Well”.
Considering the trashtastic reputation the Monegasque(?) have, I’m surprised 2 bluebloods married in. Too bad Ms Air doesn’t have much of a career(or title and country pile). She seems like the best he could do.
Caroline looks like a very successful Mrs. Bennet, minus Gad / Wickham. I wonder whom she has picked out for Alexandra? She isn’t going to let her one “Royal Highness” child marry just anyone.
Nota: i hear one of those Brazillian sisters (recently highlighted by tatler and already touted as potential Harry dates) is still available. their grandfather (?) was an original founder member of Rank organisation. plenty of money there.
i also believe one of the granddaughters of the guy who owned most of soho in London is still available. the two granddaughters inherited all the dough on his death.
Cosquare: the irony is that Ms Air’s wealthy baby daddy has grown up daughters who might fit the society + wealth requirement for James.
I do. At least both of them try to do something. but they really won’t be able to win. Every bit of media attention is because of who their sister married. If my sister married a prince you wouldn’t hear a peep out of me, but I would be very angry if the tabloid press highlighted every second I had a bad day with a client or showed a slow day at the clinic or spotlighted some other problem in my 9-5 that I really wouldn’t want everyone reading about.
Stupidest idea ever. Who’d pay that much for marshmallows? Why does he think anyone want their Instagram pictures on something they’re going to eat?
At least he and Pippa pretend to work though even if they’re bizarrely incompetent. Kate spent her entire childless twenties proudly unemployed while waiting for her prince, she’s still unemployed with servants and nannies to care for her children and home. Doesn’t pretend to do anything at all.
^^this^^ and I’d add they are not living off taxpayer $$$
The idea sounds very GOOP-like. I could see her clientele being into this. Buy it just bc it’s expensive and has a connection to the Royals. Soooo lame, obvi.
Pippa and James Creepy eyes Over here plan to be un-scammy employed gainful members of society Neverbruary 32nd of 20andNo (but then that could be said of half The Royals…so in a way they continue to reach for the stars!!)
Lol QQ, that was awesome.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a family where all three children are such leeches. Usually at least one will rebel by making something of their life, but Carole and Michael somehow managed to unleash three complete losers into the world. I don’t know how you even do that with all the advantages they had. They’ve got one workshy Duchess whose most notable achievement is how often she manages to flash her privates to photographers, one socialite who’s not even good at being a socialite, and a complete idiot who somehow spent a quarter of a million on marshmallows no one wants.
Oh, but they have their signet rings so they think they’re so special!
I can get 15 200g bags of rainbow marshmellows in my local supermarket for that money. His extorbitantly priced marshmellows are at best a funny gag for a party but not a valid business idea. How does he even calculate this price? What are his production costs? Way too expensive for middle-class clients. To cheap for a high class product to be profitable.
He can afford to wear expensive clothes but he can not afford a business consultant to help him make his company profitable? What an idiot.
The reason he can afford to dress expensively is, I suspect, money deducted from his firm, which doesn’t make money. The cynic in me estimates his living costs to, say, 125 000 a year. Let’s hope nobody’s put their savings in this fiasco.
I don’t know anything about the tax system in the UK, but how does he not have filed for bankruptcy yet? Maybe it’s just a front for something else.
It’s crazy. Put it on decent chocolate, put the price up, easy. I know people who’ve created businesses with practically nothing but their own will and hard work. This man must be spectacularly foolish and lazy to lose so much buying marshmallows.
His beard is simply amazing! Best beard in a long time.
A beard that is shedding all over the marshmallows. He should be wearing a hairnet on his hair and over that beard.
I know.
Ick.
I would GIVE him £250,000.00 to shave that tedious hipster beard off.
What an awful pair of cycling shorts. These children of rich people – they either go into fashion, food business or pretentious art. They ain’t bad but they are never creative. Why can’t they be doctors or teachers. Reminds me of the joke about Prof. Boyardee, MD.,PhD. disowning his chef son.
Imagine that. A dumb idea not taking off.
The whole idea is so detached from reality it’s wandered into the realms of the surreal. Some bod cycling around on a tricycle selling Marshmallows with funny pictures on them is straight out of a Monty Python sketch. I’m seeing Eric Idle starring with strings of them around his neck, wearing a Beret with a terrible fake French accent…”You do not want my Marshmallows you imbecile – your mother smells of elderberries and I fart in your general direction!” then pedaling away like the clappers to accost another unsuspecting passer by…
Superficial comment coming: I love his beard!!! I mean it doesn’t compare to my husband’s epic, Viking-hotness, but it’s quite nice. I can’t stand marshmallows, and printing a photo on them seems like a colossal waste of money (especially if they’re just going to be used for S’Mores). Print the picture on a bottle of wine and I’m in! But I can do that on my own and the wine I like would probably be considered gauche by his standards (Niagara region wine is the bomb!)
I’m superficial too. James is really handsome with the beard.
With the beard, he pulls off the poor-womans-Jude-Law look… which is odd, considering how beautiful JL is.
$25 for a box of nine marshmallows… That wins all the lulz.
I can see coming up with the idea when stoned with mates and thinking it is the greatest thing ever. Still thinking that the next morning when you wake up? Lulz!
I could see this working (maybe) if is was well-marketed and something more appealing than a marshmallow. I hate to say it, but being able to print an IG photo onto, say, a high-end piece of chocolate would probably take off somewhere like San Francisco. Also, can you only purchase in lots of 9? If he’s getting a mobile printer (haha) going, seems like a great idea to also offer something like 1 piece at a lower price, to get more impulse buys.
Not, I guess that it really matters to him whether or not this business is a success?
You can already get all sorts of images on cakes and candies at a lot of commercial bakeries for a lot less moolah.
Was this was destined to fail…
This might be a rehash to some, but it’s going in!
This business had both it’s greatest assest also being its shackles. Instagram.
The whole thing was you had to get the images from instagram or a friends instagram. No outside image could be printed on these generic flat marshmellows (mallows?). They’re marketed as smore ready and you can get them anywhere. Usually next to the hershey bars, graham cracker, and wooden sticks area of your local store.
so this worked out great for instagram. More users and photos loaded. Boomf getting a small cut, but doing bulk of labor.
And the images weren’t transfered well because of the mass quantity machines. It was even in the FAQ section of the website that the sides of the product would look “dirty” from the image smudged down the sides.
Not to mention you could do this all at home for cheap. Buy rice paper. Buy an “edible printer” for around $100. Upload whatever photo you’d like and Boomf! You have your own Boomf knock off that cost you minimal. I’ve used mine for cupcakes or by request friends cakes.
There was just no branching out from this business model. And James during a time when his business was sinking left. He went on vacation, bought more stuff, and all but abandon Boomf. That’s poor business. I wonder if his partners were angry.
Would love to know his marketing strategy (not to be confused with this promotional/advertising one). What is his segment? Apart from people with a lot of money.
The only way I see this product having any kind of moderate success (at this point: breaking even) would be to market it towards private celebrations such as children’s brithday parties, communions, baptisms/christenings, hens/stags, or even cheesy anniversaries, or commercial events for children and/or movie premieres or product launch.
I can’t imagine an adult wanting to eat marshmellows with an IG photo printed on it.
I know. She should have cast his net wider and offered an image printing BAKERY, of which admittedly, there are already many (see another post above about edible printing with rice paper). This is the kind of product that most people might use once in their lives. He’d have been better setting up a wedding business for reception favours.
In terms of the Middleton children: they can’t all be stars.
It’s kinda sad when Fergie has better business sense than you.
I can see why James like bicycling.
Who’s the idiot who thinks this is worth a $1.5 million investment?
Adding up all the money Uncle Gary gave him for his businesses, it would have been smarter to just open up a branch of an established franchise like a Starbuck or a Subway. Then all he would have had to do was hire a couple of competent managers and stay out of the way and never show up, so he wouldn’t screw it up.
The thing I don’t get is why they didn’t go massively down-market and manage to set a price point people would happily pay for a gimmicky novelty. I mean, people have mentioned party favours, but they’d make good invitations, stocking fillers, end of school year pressies, for kids especially, if they were 3 or at most 4 quid a pop. They’re just marshmallows. They use easily available online tech and edible ink printers. If you can buy a sheet of cupcake toppers for £3 with your chosen prints on icing, then they should be able to compete with economies of scale. That would be where the money for this lies.
I suspect they know so many people with money to burn that they priced it at their equivalent of £3 or £4. Plus those marshmallows just look dirty, with smudgey grey/black ink runs all through the cut sides, and that’s on their own marketing material. Lord alone knows what the genuine article looks like. They don’t look like gourmet treats at all, they look like Peeps gone 21st century.
It’s a cheap mass market idea they’ve priced out of plausibility, IMO.
I feel bad for him in some ways. But I really have to question their business model. How big do they think the artisinal marshmallow market is? I could maybe see having quirky marshmallows be part of your business, but your entire source of revenue? Who were they expecting to sell them to?
I think he kind of looks like Jude Law with a beard