The Hollywood Reporter has an eye-opening article about the staff requirements and trends of Hollywood’s elite. According to their report, it’s not uncommon for people earning $5-$10 million a year to spend around $200-$300k on staff alone. Along with that comes a laundry list of requirements for the various positions, including “estate manager,” “chef,” “housekeepers,” and of course “nannies.” We’ll just be focusing on the nanny portion of their report, which quotes multiple staffing experts on the tricky business of finding just the right nanny for their particular high profile clientele. The most interesting part to me is of course the part where they say that Ben Affleck’s dalliance with fame-hungry nanny Christine Ouzounian ruined the career aspirations of so many hot young nannies in LA. I jest, they didn’t go that far, but there is a definite call for older nannies and it can be traced back to Affleck’s wandering dick. Here’s more:
Need a nanny? You’re in the right place. “If you’re looking for a college-educated, athletic and well-traveled nanny, the choices are greater in L.A. than almost anywhere else,” says Baker, who notes that the New York elite often dip into the L.A. nanny pool. The norm of having a full-time nanny five days a week and an on-call babysitter on weekends is morphing into two rotating full-time nannies seven days a week, says Elizabeth Rose Agency’s Julie Swales, whose clients include working CAA and UTA moms. After placing a nanny (some of whom fetch $30 an hour, plus health benefits and an SUV for safe kid transport), Swales often stays involved as an adviser: “Imagine the dynamics of a mom who’s dealing with postpartum blues, has to get back to work and doesn’t want a nanny, but needs her.”
Agents all note an increase in requests for nannies knowledgeable in attachment parenting and RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers). Adds Westside Nannies’ Katie Provinziano: “Clients ask me if I could find a nanny who may have been a pro-level tennis player. You’ll have parents asking for a ballerina if their daughter is into ballet.” Nannies who eschew the use of gender pronouns are also in demand. “There’s a gender conversation going on now,” says Swales. “They look for nannies who will let a little boy wear a sister’s tutu to school.” But the trend toward younger nannies has slowed: “The [alleged] Ben Affleck nanny affair scandal didn’t help,” says an agent. “I got calls from clients saying they don’t want anyone under 35.” And the strict British nanny is no longer in vogue: Only “a Chinese bazillionaire or the Saudis might love that,” says Baker. The invisible nanny, however, is still going strong, as celeb moms feel pressure to appear as if they’re doing it all, with personal assistants also doing nanny duties (as Gwyneth Paltrow’s are said to do) or staying out of lens range when traipsing with the brood through LAX (Angelina Jolie). As Provinziano puts it: “You need to give up your life a bit, do anything necessary to make this family’s life happen.”
I know about attachment parenting and practiced it but RIE is new to me. I guess that’s specific to people who care for children. I have a confession to make. I was going to write something snarky about how attachment parenting and having nannies doesn’t mix, but honestly I had a nanny for a while when my son was three. Sometimes people have nannies and they’re not all rich, entitled a-holes. But I wouldn’t expect a nanny to be all things for my kid, that’s what you’re there for. I don’t begrudge people who work from having live in childcare. What gets me, though, is when they act like they do it all themselves and try to hide the nannies away. For all you can say about Jennifer Garner, she’s let the paparazzi see her nannies before. She probably wishes she didn’t hire one nanny in particular, but the blame for that should primarily land on her no-good husband. (Still, that nanny is/was a piece of work. I’m grateful that she’s out of the picture. Ben seems to have shut that down with cash and an NDA.)
Here’s Affleck out with a different longer term nanny in late August:
photo credit: WENN.com, Pacific Coast News and FameFlynet
RIE can be put into practice through parenting as well. I love the idea of it, and we tried it for a bit. But, ultimately, it was not for us.
What is it? I read some very brief basic tenets, and it seemed to just be saying, “pay attention to your child”? Apparently this needs to be said now?
Never mind. I read some more in depth articles.
One of the other major ideas is to respect and treat children as you would an adult. So, for example when you have a baby, no baby talk. Instead, if you’re going to pick him up, you say “I’m going to pick you up now” or “I’m going to feed you now.” As they get older, no punishments like time out or taking things away.
I’ve talked to other parents who say if you stick with it, it really is great but I didn’t have the patience for it and my husband is a little old school and just couldn’t wrap his head around it. He thought it was completely ridiculous, lol.
Is that the one where you say, “I see you need my help in stopping hitting your brother. Thank you for letting me know that. How can we solve this problem?” Or words to that effect? I read an article about that one, and I thought it sounds good, but would take a lot a patience. My mom had a look that would stop a train in its tracks. That worked well, too, lol.
That’s exactly it, GNAT. I didn’t learn about it until my son was around 3 so I think habits were hard to break. Maybe it would’ve been different if we had started when he was a baby. But, I also realized that people have been raising children for thousands of years without adopting a particular parenting method and seemed to do a decent job. So, I felt better about giving it up after that lol 😉
FWIW, I’ve been doing it since infancy, and it works well for us. It has really helped me articulate some of the issues I had with my own childhood (around controlling, abusive parents) and become a more more thoughtful parent. I don’t think about it terms of getting results, but rather in recognizing when I’m repeating habits from my childhood that I don’t want to. You definitely don’t need to adopt a method, but for those of use who didn’t have examples of good parenting to draw on, it’s very useful.
@Tanya
I don’t have kids, but I find this kind of thing very interesting for some reason, and what appealed to me about it was that, if you can do it, it seems like it would help the child figure out certain things about how their behavior is rooted in their feelings even if they aren’t aware of it. I love my parents, and they did a great job, but everything was happpeeeeeeee all the time. I had to really work as an adult to feel entitled to feelings that weren’t positive, or really even to recognize feelings that weren’t positive, and to figure out that I’m not sobbing because I burned the cookies, I’m sobbing because my friend hurt my feelings ten days ago and I’m making cookies in an effort to continue distracting myself from feeling my feelings and I burned them so ohhhh noooo I’m having a feeling and that’s not allowed!! Anyway, I’m sure there are lots of ways to help your children understand that, but I really admire you and MrsB for thinking it through and trying to come up with a way to make your child have a great life. It’s a lot of trouble and you’re good moms.
I’m all for not talking to your kids like they’re idiots, but is there no punishment whatsoever in this practice? Is it all words and mediation? All I know is my parents tried something like that and gave up because ‘no’ something I needed to hear. A lot.
I don’t know about the punishment part. Tanya? I do recall that you tell them no, though. I won’t let you hit your brother. That’s too rough. I don’t know what you do if they keep doing what you say not to do, though. Maybe physically remove them from the situation. Lol, I didn’t get that far in my studies.
I’m a believer in the 4th trimester and evolutionary parenting as well which to me marries these two ‘styles’ nicely but in this situation, assuming you were modeling to both children the RIE perspective… You would not ‘punish’ the offending child in the traditional sense. You would allow the brother the opportunity to react or remove himself physically from the situation and you would ask the other child about their aggressive behavior maturely, and allow for interdependent conflict resolution. Only in the case of serious potential injury or flat out harassment, would you obviously intervene. In the case of cars or where children don’t have a choice for physical proximity, you would still respect and trust the children to resolve it themselves and allow them a reasonable amount of time to do so. Modeling that trust in children’s own abilities to mediate difficult situations from very early on profoundly affects their behavior and emotional maturity later on, so goes the thinking… The consequence would be, people don’t want to interact or play with you when you’re an a-hole. Good life lesson.
@GoodNamesAllTaken
There isn’t punishment in the sense that shaming, etc. happens. There are limits, and RIE encourages you to set limits early and be very consistent with them. So for instance, we would never tell a child they were bad for hitting someone. Ideally, you’d be observing your child and if it looks like they were going to hit, you would physically move/block them. If they hit someone, there would obviously be consequences, but they would make sense (removing the child from the situation, etc.). You don’t take away a privileges, for instance, because that has nothing to do with hitting. The idea is that very young children understand natural/logical consequences better than artificial, unrelated punishments.
Well Good to know that now I’m 35 I will no longer be considered attractive or a threat to anyone and can be hired as a non hot invisible nanny ! Phew , I’m glad someone let us all know! 😒
Be quiet, crone.
That made this laugh come out of me that sounded like a squeak.
^^^^LOL naya
Hahaha
Ha! Of God that made me laugh. So hard.
Even with 35 far in my rear-view window I’m still laughing at this. I’m taking ‘be quiet, crone’ as my new personal mantra.
@ Naya That is hilarious! Seriously laughed harder than I have all week. Thanks for the great comment.
😂
Yep. You win.
My laugh for the week!!!
I was thinking the same thing!! I just turned 35 and this article kind of ruined my morning 🙁
Don’t be silly. These people live on a planet so far removed from Earth that it’s no wonder REALITY surprises them over and over again.
yeah… i just turned 36 and while it’s news to me that i can’t be considered “dangerously hot” now (the jury is actually out on whether that was the case before, but nevermind), in a way it’s a sort of relief… like it seems to mean that a certain breed of human animals who can only think and act via their baser biological instincts may be less of a concern for me as time goes on.
Let the muumuu-wearing commence! We can all officially give up on life now.
word
I kind of saw it as the age past which the world hopes we’ve figured out we have way more to offer 🙂
+1
I’d love to get invisible to gross strange men. Sadly, my mom’s in her late 50s and it still hasn’t happened to her. However, she dyes her hair, which I am not going to do. I found a gray hair the other day and it’s staying, thanks.
MTE, Tifygodess. I understand no one wants a young fame-ho around their family now, and who can blame them…
But I could be a very literate college graduate, former “tennis pro”, and qualified childcaregiver, smarter or more capable than some of these stupid celeb moms, yet since I’m over 35 (and childless myself), I’m invisible?
No thanks! The implications of this alone are not for me, no matter how good the pay and benefits.
I also wonder, too, how some of these narcissistic women would feel having someone actually care for their children and manage a household better than they could?
Gross. One, women over 35 can still be hot. Two, having a hot nanny doesn’t always spell the end of a relationship. It can be the last straw in a relationship that’s already on shaky ground, as we’ve seen. But if you’re in a healthy relationship, just flipping talk about it. Crazy, right? You both sit down and acknowledge that the nanny is hot. You ask your partner if he thinks it will be a problem. You keep an eye on it, and if you see him checking out her booty too often, you pull a Lynette Scavo and you tell her it’s not working out.
I don’t think things are as easy as you think they are.
No man on earth is going to tell his partner that the nanny is hot or that her hotness might be a problem.
He’d end up dead and buried in the back garden.
😀
You’re right, you’re right. Life is not Desperate Housewives. I guess I was just speaking from my own mind. Whenever I’m in a relationship, I don’t have an issue talking with the guy about women that are attractive. I think it’s healthier just to get it out there, and it can be kind of fun at times. But I’ve never been married, and I haven’t experienced all the complicated little nuances that go into married life. I’m sure it can’t be that easy.
Whoa! Paola, not so fast. We don’t have kids, but my bf and I are honest with each other when we think someone is hot. Women have roving eyes too. ITA with Shambles. Just talk about it. An innocent flirtation feels a lot less “forbidden” when it’s not a secret.
Yep, exactly what BettyRose said. It takes the “forbidden lust” aspect out of it when you talk about it, and makes it more like attractive people-watching. We’re all human, and there are a lot of pretty people out there. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that someone is attractive, it’s whether or not you have the willpower not to act on it that counts.
Sorry I should have sad ‘no man on earth who’s mature and honestly care for their partner…’
Because here we’re talking about immature and disrespectful man who jeopardize their family for a hot nanny and even when asked ‘do you find the nanny hot?’ I’m not sure they’d be totally honest.
Oh I hear you loud and clear, Paola. I meant couples in general, not specifically Jen and Ben. If Ben Affleck himself were asked if he finds the nanny attractive, I could see it going one of two ways. He would lie and say no, or his ears would perk up like a dog’s and he’d say, “Why?! You try’na have a threesome?!”
Depends on the kind of relationship you have. I don’t think I’d have a problem having that discussion with my boyfriend at all. But then again, neither of us consider cheating to be that awful (unless you have a hidden lover).
“No man on earth”? Wow. Maybe it’s because I’m attracted to both genders, but I will not tolerate any man who isn’t honest about his attractions, and I try to open the dialogue pretty early in relationships.
I had to work through a LOT of insecurity issues to avoid jealousy, and I’m still working on them to this day (lying about looking at pictures/videos online still boils my blood, but it’s the secrecy that bothers me). The solution is never to pretend you’re only attracted to one human being. I find it’s much less nerve-racking when you’re both open and honest about your “type” — and about people who make you feel jealous or paranoid, because you think your partner might be into them. When it’s all out on the table, there’s less shame and less reason to suspect every pretty person you encounter. Then again, I can see keeping mum with someone who’s very, very insecure… but that doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship anyway.
its not just about trusting your partner its also about trusting the nanny not to try to work the paps and gossip sites to make a story out of nothing.
also even if the nanny and your partner are totally innocent, an attractive person will always lead to more gossip.
you cant really compare that to a normal household with all the other things you have to keep in mind.
I guess my comment was geared more toward normal homes, and you’re correct that there is a lot more that goes into it when you’re a celebrity. Even so, if two famous parents simply discuss the situation, they can then form a united front to deal with any thirsty nanny-antics that mignt go on
I honestly don’t think that the age 35 cut off means that is also the cutoff for being hot. I view it as a reflection of hubby or partner’s immaturity, poor self esteem and propensity to pump up his ego with a young-ish conquest.
If a man wants to screw he will screw an 80 year old if he can. There is no age limit for horny men. Why are people so dumb about men? Miss Ouzi was not a ‘hot nanny’ when she was hired. She got a big makeover when she got some fame and money then she became ‘hot’.
I still don’t see the “hot”. Cute? yea.
Wasn’t he already a man-ho before this Kartrashian-klone nanny?
Of course they all do! Celebrities have temptations to resist to all day long already through work and social connections.
That nanny ruined herself along with all the other hot nannies. She’ll never find a job again and all the others who were planning on the same plot are all screwed.
Now they’ll all have to consider plan B: becoming kindergarten and elementary school teachers
#GoldDiggingNanniesThughLife
Younger women in LA are most likely to try and milk the slightest chance they’ve got. My best friend’s sister is Leo di Caprio’s niece baby sitter.
She sent me a pic of him on the couch in no time as soon as she had a chance. She could have been fired if caught but she still did it. I guess when the prize is high and you can get money or fame out of it, you just go for it.
Yup…this bitch ruined it for hot, young nannies! Now, they will have to become teachers and hit on all the “less rich, but still well off” business, executive daddies!!!! Watch out suburban Mom’s…the invasion of the YHN (young, hot teachers) is about to commence!!!!!!!!
if someone wants to cheat they will cheat but i guess older nannies are also less likely to want to be famous. i wouldnt trust a young woman in LA to not try to milk it to become famous. even if i was a single mom it would only be older nannies. but i also would be constantly paranoid about people selling me out 🙂
im sure the Affleck Nanny would have tried to sell an affair even if nothing happened but she got what she wanted because Ben Affleck is his own worst enemy.
of course that sucks for the majority of the nannies who are not like that but you know how often one persons ruins it for others.
I know EVERYONE is going to yell at me, but, where is the proof of the affair?? A couple of pictures of her standing OUTSIDE Ben’s place (as far as I know there aren’t any pics of her going into or coming out of his place, and don’t you think a photograper, which she probably set up, would have waited for THAT photo). And a picture of her flying in a private jet, where God only knows, how many people (we know that Tom Brady was there) were on board….Maybe she got shut down, cause that picture is all she has!!!!!
I’m also seriously doubting the nanny had a fling with Ben, so no shade from me.
MRSBPITT, exactly! The only reason everyone assumed this youngish, average looking nanny was telling the truth was because Affleck is a dirt bag and that marriage was already on the rocks.
Yep! I don’t buy into the ‘she got paid off because she had proof’ assumption, either.
She may have gotten severance pay, but I do not believe she got a huge windfall. She got enough to stay at a nice hotel for several days and lease a USED convertible (which anyone could confirm via a simple online search, but it sounded so much more enticing for sites – including this one – to call it brand new).
She was playing a game, IMO.
No yelling from me, the serial Ben apologist. I’m not a dude, but I just can’t imagine ever thinking that illicit sympathetic Bahamian nanny sex would be worth the potential fallout. Maybe I’m just naive.
No shade from me either.
I’ve been waiting for some Nanny Big Reveal/Tell-All or something. Nothing yet which makes me go hmmmmmm?
What clue have we about his alleged affair with Blake Lively during The Town filming ? Nothing but a pic on set with Blake smiling and Ben with the stupid face that some guys do when they attracted by a woman
Exactly, MrsBPitt!
Anywhere else on the internet, most everyone doubts the “alleged” no-proof non-affair and laughs at this delusional fame-ho nanny…except it would seem here on CB, where some people still need to believe this really happened.
And Jezebel’s Bobby Finger might just be my new favorite person: jezebel.com/new-photos-of-ben-affleck-and-his-ex-nanny-might-prove-1722207113
(If anything, check out his Midweek Madness posts on all the tabloid “news”. Gawd, he is hilarious.)
I’ve been sort of wondering if the “nanny” thing is actually a cover story thought up by all of them. Ben’s a gambling addict and has had problems with drugs in the past. What if that is the real issue? A man cheats on his wife, that’s not going to make him late to work or jeopardize his superhero physique. A man is a gambling/drug addict, though… yeah, that could hurt his career.
We actually just transitioned to an older, more mature nanny because it was too disruptive to continually go through younger ones for whom the job was a pit stop on the way to finding their true calling.
Far out that is quite the pic of Ben with the new nanny. And while I’m sure ( well pretty sure) that this was not the case buuuut it does look like he’s more engaged with the nanny then the kids. And kind of like he’s saying,’ are you sure you won’t go out with me’. Lol, complete photo assumption.
Call me innocent Irene but what I got from that pic was Violet bypassing the nanny and asking her dad for a treat (see all the other kids have one) and Ben making Violets case on her behalf to the real boss of treats, the nanny. I really think this family is just generally chummy with their staff , which is good for the kids to learn from. Now if only Ben hadnt ruined the lesson by sticking it to Nanny Ouzzie…..
Oh completely @ NAYA, I’m sure it’s innocent. I’ve just got my evil eyes & typing fingers on tonight. That and it’s Thursday night here and I’ve had two wines after a monster week 😊.
Maybe I should try to go to States, I’m a teacher, speak 6 languages, currently (hopefully just temporary) unemployed and I’m 40…
Your a catch!!! The unemployment thing will just be temporary because it sounds like you have a lot of great skills. Best of luck xo
Thanks Aussie.. xo
The U.S. could use you with that skillset, but as a language teacher at an actual school. Not a nanny. $30/hour to pamper rich kids ain’t much in LA/NYC. Or, heck, blow off teaching and move to silicon valley as a highly paid tech writer/translator. The nanny gig by its nature seems like temporary employment. Unless you get hired by the Windsors to raise three generations of children.
These nannies are probably getting paid as much as (possibly more than) what teachers get paid. And yes, a lot of people nanny as a temporary job but there’s no reason it can’t be a permanent career.
I apologize if my comment shows up like 19 times I’m struggling so hard. Need more coffee.
The article says $30/hour is the top pay, which at full time is about $60k annually. Depending on the school district that may be more than a mid-career teacher makes but it’s a dead end job. There’s no tenure or promotions for a nanny. Plus, even at the top of the pay scale, a nanny in LA /NYC is probably living a pretty long commute from work.
Bettyrose, “Plus, even at the top of the pay scale, a nanny in LA /NYC is probably living a pretty long commute from work. ”
Huh? I have been a Nanny in L.A. for 20 years, and my longest commute was 20 minutes – and that was YEARS ago.
This article is crap – there are some people who pay much more than 60K a year – you just have to be willing to give up your life.
I won’t work for Hollywood people anymore – I hate to travel (I have a dog, will not leave him), and I’d rather make half the money to have a life of my own. There are plenty of “regular” wealthy people who need childcare, and you can have normal work hours.
Most nannies work more than 40 hours a week so 30/hour could be over 75k/year. And I wouldn’t call it a dead end job as there’s a pretty wide range in duties/salaries – at the top around 100k/year. Plus some of these jobs are live-in or include separate accommodation so that saves on rent and eliminates long commutes.
I get that it’s not a prestigious or glamorous job – it’s a career you choose because you enjoy the work. I’m a nanny and I love my job 🙂
Wow, 6 languages? Good envy here, best luck for you.
I am so curious, what languages do you speak?
i won’t feel offended if you don’t feel like sharing.
Hollywood and ageism, together as always. No on under 35? No problem, Monica Belluci is on her way over; I’m sure your husband won’t even notice! 😉
There is some subtle wife-blaming going on here isn’t there? Like if Garner hadn’t hired a hot nanny Affleck wouldn’t have strayed. Even though it’s pretty clear now he strayed a lot. Gross.
she’s not a hot nanny.
she’s a hooch nanny.
I lived in LA for a year, and I liked it. Of course, I wasn’t connected to “Hollywood” at all, and hung around with people close to my own financial circumstances. This world of people seems so ugly and fake shallow. I don’t know how anyone stands it.
Same here, GNAT.
Oh for crying out loud. A partner who wants to cheat will cheat. You cannot somehow hide or eliminate all attractive women in his path – and frankly, if that is what is required to keep the partner from straying… why are YOU in that relationship?? I have worked with attractive people, some single and some not, when I was both single and not. You can actually look at someone, see that they are attractive and not immediately lose all control and be desperate to get them in bed.
On the nanny issue, this is a tempest in teapot and will pass – although in HW I guess where everyone is paranoid about youth and beauty maybe it will have some sort of impact. Also, young nannies in LA may be – some of them – on the make if the right opportunity presents itself with a willing man regardless of his availability, as long as he is rich and /or famous enough to give them what they are looking for. For some that may be (in)fame, or money, or a chance at the movie industry, or a chance to become the next Mrs.
But can we please not brush an entire category of caregivers with the broad “willing available hot strumpet” brush because it is entirely unfair.
I ran a high end agency in Toronto for a few years. I placed a lot of nannies and interviewed about ten times more than I placed. For two years I had a nanny myself. She was younger than me and pretty, but also married herself with a child. I never worried about how my husband would look at her and never thought that she would make a pass at him either. I trusted her completely with my child, and she was wonderful as a caregiver, but she had her own personal life and we had ours.
If the placement agency is good, then what they find are caregivers who are in the business because they are good with kids. I placed a lot of nannies in their twenties, many of them very attractive, well educated, college grads with childcare experience who genuinely loved kids and wanted to get a better salary than what a regular art grad or psych grad or whatever normally gets in the early career years. They also liked the benefits – usually getting a vehicle, overtime pay, working in a nice environment, lots of vacation days or travelling in luxury with the family etc. I have never had a client call and worry about the hotness of the nanny! In fact many clients would refuse older nannies (which is discriminatory hiring practices and a different issue altogether) because a twenty something was considered more desirable – energetic, athletic, not having family responsibilities of her own.
In short, this is mostly a HW issue and I personally think that if some short sighted, narcissistic, youth obsessed women in that town are worried about hot nannies they really need to look at the bigger picture – if they are worried about losing their spouses, they have bigger problems. (FYI – husbands in staffed households are generally not home all that much. Better worry about his gym instructor or massage therapist or bartender. Not the nanny wiping spit and pasta sauce of your toddler.)
Yes, I think most people meet their co-cheaters at work. That’s where my ex met most of his.
GNAT….mine, too! I think the main Hollywood problem is that, a lot of these nannies, are really actresses trying to make it in show business, and just take the nanny job to earn a few bucks while trying to find acting work. Now, you throw in a very famous actor/director, who may be able to help their career…I can see how some, not all, but some young things may think this would be a quicker way to get into their REAL chosen profession. And then, you have a guy, who knows that what this young thing really wants is to be an actress, and takes advantage of that. I’m not saying ALL, guys and ALL nanny/actresses do this, but I’m sure there are some that don’t have a moral compass…
Yes, so in an indirect way, it IS work for them.
It kinda is wherever you spend most of your time right? I am strong believe if people want cheat they will one way or another.
How much do you think Christine was paid by the Garner-Afflecks fam to disappear… 7 figures? A new condo?
I’d love to know.
But what about hot gardeners , pool boys or male nannies? If Jennifer Gardner had a “wandering vagina” like Affleck has this “wandering dick”, would there be a special demand for middle-aged beer-bellied male staff?
*paging Vin Diesel*
good point, there is so much focus on male celebs cheating but very little of famous women and we know that there are no big differences in cheating between men and women.
generally Garner comes out of this smelling like roses and thats always a bit shady. she did not spend all nights alone, come on guys.
HA! HAAAHAHAHA! Stop. That visual ain’t going away now. But yeah this article kinda made me think some elite moms are probably popping open a Cabernet and watching their new French chef get busy with the dicer on those clean marble countertops. And then they coyly offer to help.
I love how the solution is “get older/unattractive nannies” and not “husbands be faithful to their wives”.
Or
Do not married well known cheaters!
I know, right? Geez.
Ummm…where do you find those faithful, husband type fellows???? Seriously, I was cheated on by my first husband, and almost every girlfriend I have, has been cheated on by their husband or steady boyfriend! I’m not kidding! It’s an epidemic!
If only I knew the answer to that question!
Move to Canada:-) Almost kidding – been married once and no cheating was involved in the divorce, we just married young and I realized that I didn’t want to be just a SAHM and his career helpmate… my second husband is also Canadian and not worried about him cheating – although I admit I have been tempted to give the snark eye to some of the moms at the arena when they look over him longingly (he coaches hockey and he is hot. I don’t plan on putting him under lock and key though…)
Seriously, with one exception nobody in our group of friends/ acquaintances/people at school is divorced or a cheater. Not saying everyone’s marriage is a bed of roses, but the way we look at it, we made a commitment to each other, to our family and our child – that is definitely worth working for. Sure we meet attractive people – who doesn’t? But unless you are a completely selfish narcissist, how is a fling in a hotel room ever worth missing out on coming home to your family? I guess we are just boring suburban types:-)
My ex frequently forgot he was married when starting a new relationship. That’s one of the reasons he’s my ex.
I’m with vauvert. I’ve been married to the same hot guy for almost 20 years and he’s still hot, still gets alot of stares, and women will forever slink around bushes and such, waiting for me to walk away, so they can come over and pretend they didn’t know he was there. I like it. He’s not taking the bait.
I got cheated on when I was very young – late teens, and it broke my heart at the time. Then I got with a guy who put me on a pedestal only to knock it out from under me once he got comfortable and his true colors started to show. He was actually super possessive, jealous, accusatory, obsessive, etc. He became violent, so I hit the pavement. I met my husband when I was 20, but he was with somebody and I was still with possessive dude. We both left our SO’s at about the same time and the next time we saw each other – BOOM BABY!! We started dating when I was 23. I found it challenging at first to be treated well and to be okay with that. I know that sounds weird, but I think I was addicted to the drama and I didn’t know how to be happy and live….just normal. My grandma told me I was mistaking stability for boredom. I have never forgot that. And I think it’s really true. Be careful my sisters who’ve been cheated on and treated like dirt. There are good men out there, but you have to learn to live and view differently. We went to pre-maritial counseling to prepare for marriage and it was awesome. That’s when I learned how to argue healthy and what our differences were and how that would affect us/the type of pitfalls we might encounter. It was the best thing we ever could have done.
Ugh. See, it’s stories like these…….all these aholes.
Now before I met my BF, my single friends and I used to talk about the infidelity thing a lot. I think we all sort of assumed that all men will cheat—-which is so incredibly f*cked up.
But I 100% trust my boyfriend, no doubt in my mind that he would never cheat on me and yeah I know that I might seem naïve and maybe people will think “never say never, girl” or tell me that things can change, etc. But I waited a long time to find a great guy that I trust implicitly and I truly believe that I’ve found that.
Sorry for the weird personal tangent. I guess that in the past, the infidelity thing is a deeper insecurity than I’d like to admit, even though I’ve never been cheated on (to my knowledge). It just seems like every dude around me ends up cheating. It’s pathetic and scary in a way.
I’ve never been cheated on by any of my boyfriends and I’ve been with my husband for ten years and he has not cheated. My father did not cheat, nor did my grandfather. If any of my uncles cheated, they would be drawn and quartered by the rest of the family. My dad has a LOT of friends, and only two of them cheated — one’s just scum (my dad’s not friends with him any longer), and one was in a really rough situation in his marriage at the time.
My mom cheated on my dad, though. And I know more women who cheated on their boyfriends and husbands. I had one friend who would not stop cheating for a second. We’re no longer friends, but I’m sure she’s still at it.
My assumption is that men do not cheat. In my experience, it’s incredibly rare for them to do so. I know there are other social circles in which that’s not the case — but trust me, it’s not normal for men to cheat.
Yes!!!! Nail on the f**king head. What about “husbands keeping it in their pants”?!
It’s a cycle that just perpetuate the culture that allows everything to men. They are never questioned, specially Hollywood men, where a cheating asshole if is an actor gets praised/his street red gets higher while if it’s a woman she’s the wh*re of course
Living in Paris and having done a bit of babysitting myself, it’s funny to me that on one in this country (seems) to think that way. Women here even ask for a photograph because they want cute, young nannies. The concept of the father cheating with the nanny isn’t even a thing. And the French are supposed to be cheaters right? It’s just ironic in a sense. Or maybe it’s just rich Hollywood problems and men with egos that are to large to keep it in their pants.
You are absolutely correct, I wrote a long post above. If you have to worry about the guy not being able to resist temptation then you have a much bigger problem that how hot your nanny is.
i think there are reasons other than worries about cheating to not want a gorgeous, 20- something living in your house. ageing is difficult. it’s hard enough to try to block out all the advertisements and media images of youthful beauty… not sure i could handle it at home, as well. i’m not proud of this. just being honest.
(i realize that people have children of that age, but i assume that they don’t envy their kids or compare themselves to them the way you would to a stranger whom you hire.)
also – is ben wearing a charles manson t-shirt?
No it’s a Harry Potter shirt, the guy is an Azkaban prisoner
thanks!
Hollyweird looking for Nanny McPhee? lol
There’s a saying that a man is only as faithful as his options and if he’s options included a nanny over 35+ I doubt age would deter him that much. Look at Arnold.
Yep. Exactly this.
Age doesn’t matter. If your partner wants to cheat age and sometimes even looks won’t matter. At the risk of sounding out of touch what is attachment parenting?
Ben looks just as interested in that nanny lol he’s a dog
OK!’s latest story this week is about how Matt Damon thinks Ben and Jen’s issues go way beyond – and started way before – the nanny ever came into the picture. Something I’ve been saying for years – but then, who can really believe OK! I don’t care about the nanny – boring – I’m more interested to see what their plans are in selling their mansion. Are they truly splitting, or are they going to buy another place together …
I was surprised to see RIE in the article. I am actually trained in the educational philosophy and taught at a RIE/Reggio school for 7 years. It was first developed in an orphanage to help the kids become self-sufficient. RIE has now transformed into a powerful infant education program in the states. Essentially, you are seeing the infant as a whole person, go down to their level, do not force their body into positions they are not developmentally ready for (like propping) you do not “save them” but guide them (like if they crawled under a table but couldn’t get out), you teach self-soothing techniques. Honestly, the list goes on. I have seen infants develop in one year in ways that have astonished me.
Where is the best place for me to learn more about RIE? I’m intrigued.
Yeah because everyone’s uterus immediately falls out at age 35 and there is no such thing as sexiness after that. In fact, all people everywhere stop having sex completely past age 35. Never happens. Seriously? Sexual chemistry or attraction is 100% about youth and stereotypical ‘hotness’? If women in Hollywood don’t get how sex works, I don’t blame the wandering peen. Sex can be emotional and psychological for men and it can be shallow and physical for women???Mind. Blown. Seriously though, she should be getting hers too. I also have a problem that the solution is not to stop cheating or be a better individual…
Yay for attachment parenting and RIE.
Bummer to the ladies so busy side-eyeing 18-25 year olds and subscribing to ageist media drivel; that they forget to love themselves and realize their own beauty and sexuality.
First off, hotness is not necessarily a motivator – please see Arnold Schwartzeneger. For most, it’s more about availability and the taboo nature of it.
Second, last time there was an article here about Nanny chica and I asked that the authors stop referring to her as “hot” I got schooled on what’s hot to a guy v. what’s hot to we women, and I accept that men’s standards, especially cheater men, are pretty low, so for them average = hot. That said, hot needs to be thoroughly defined amongst these nanny-seeking celebrity families. Some wife/mother might hire a totally sub-par woman thinking she’s no catch, but if her husband is of the cheating mindset, he might think “Ey Chi wha wha!”
I’ve had a few nannies over the last 5 years (both kids finally in kindergarten/day care). With my first, I had a couple of grandmotherly types, mostly because I was a new mom and wanted someone to tell me what to do 🙂 The nanny we had over the summer was one of the most beautiful women I have met in person. I think it can be unsettling, and it might have been weird to have her long-term (although she was an awesome nanny and I would have gotten over it). Not that I would expect either my husband or her to cheat, but you don’t really want your husband fantasizing about the woman taking care of your children. It is different having your husband checking out a hot girl walking past in the street, and your husband being awkward because he is trying not to let on that he is attracted to the nanny.
Exactly . it’s like too close. If you hire a really hot straight manny I am sure husband wouldn’t like it either
If a man wants to cheat he will cheat. The same with a woman. Nothing can be done about it.
it simply means they don’t value the relationship with you.
Marriage first of all is partnership/ companionship, it is an emotional and social relationship first of all, which is not there with a quick fling.
If someone is willing to risk losing that, the emotional stability and comfort, and on top of it hurting their children , then they don’t value it much, do they .
How about you don’t just blame the nanny and assume every girl or guy wanting to be a nanny only wants sex. How about you respect not only your marriage and your children and keep your d*** or v***** in your pants.
My aunt was a professional nanny for a lot of her life. She was a nanny not only for celebs but rich elites, political families as well. She was over 6 foot, attractive but average looking at best. Stout would describe her body type. She got hit on by the husbands/men when was well into her 50s and even 60s. Some of the names told me shocked me but also made me do a lol because they could have anyone and hit on my aunt. Age doesn’t matter when there are cheaters, they will cheat period. Its about the excitement of it rather than the person they cheat with or land. Nannies that sleep with these hounds shouldn’t flatter themselves because in reality they would sleep with a tree if it provided them excitement.
If I earned $10 mill a year, I’d still go cheap, live in a smallish house, and have no full-time or part-time staff. I would use contractors only (and treat them very well with tips and bonuses though). Have you seen the Affleck-Garner house? It’s massive, and they’re still extending it (though it’s up for sale). No wonder those HW types need to spend that much on staff. The cleaning bill probably accounts for 30% of that.
Isabelle, are you calling your aunt a tree?? Well, she is tall… Lol. Thanks for the salacious story. 😉
Not a tree haha but she was intimidating sometimes. Stout as in, solid/muscled but not overweight. Her favorite family was the Kennedy’s (not a nanny for JFK, other members) they paid very well and treated her like a friend and not a ‘servant’. Paid for her travel vacations, she got to choose where she wanted to go. Paid for her to visit back home, etc… They never crossed the flirting boundary. The kids though, she said were a hand-full. She lived well into her 90s and would still cry over over Jack & Bobby.
Wasn’t it actually Robin Williams who started the “bang the nanny” thing in Hollywood? He married her, didn’t he?
Also: the founder of Lululemon pays his house sitter $80,000 a year, and NEVER uses the house. As a house-sitter this is intensely interesting to me.
Maybe the 35 age things was less about what the man would find hot and more about the assumption that the woman, by that age, would have gotten some common sense a s be committed to her career enough that she wouldn’t risk losing it ovrelationshipn early twenty-something would be easier to dazzle, is more likely to either be single or in a less established relationship, and may be new to nannying and not sure how long they want to spend in the job. A man who is going to cheat is going to cheat, but hiring a woman who values her career over a fling and knows that her actions have very serious consequences for everyone is one that won’t be coerced as easily.
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My phone is so incredibly annoying.