I would never consider Emily Ratajkowski one of my favorite celebrities in the world or anything, but I enjoy covering her. She is, at this point, very much the Cool Girl. She’s pretty but not “threatening,” hot but accessible, a “guy’s girl” without alienating women. Is she the brightest bulb? Not really, but she’s not a dumb bunny either. She self-identifies as feminist, she talks openly about her sort of hippie, beachy, bohemian lifestyle and outlook, and she’s really not that bad. Anyway, Emily chatted with NY Magazine about nudity and the differences between how Americans react to female nudity versus the way Europeans react.
We already know that nudity is no big whoop for model turned actress Emily Ratajkowski. It was embraced in her home growing up and she didn’t get all that hoopla following her appearance in Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” video. So when we saw the Gone Girl star at last night’s Harper’s Bazaar event, we had to ask: How can we, the American public, be as cool and body-confident as she is?
“Go to Europe. Travel. If you spend any time there you notice it right away — their comfort level is different.” Ratajkowski continued: “You see more women being openly sexual like it’s not a big deal, without them having to be oversexualized. They are celebrated. You see it on the beaches, daughters with their mothers. It’s not a big deal to see your mom naked. It’s actually quite normal.”
But what makes us so dang uptight to begin with? “I don’t know if it’s about being frigid,” she said. “It’s more about the constant sexualizing [of] women without actually celebrating women. I think it’s more a misdirection of values and femininity rather than the country being frigid.”
Is this the most profound statement ever made? No. But I agree with her and I appreciate the fact that a young model/actress thinks in terms of how society objectifies and sexualizes women and girls and how that’s a “misdirection of values.” And yes, Europeans experience nudity (of all forms) in a completely different way than Americans. Nudity is normal there. People go topless on the beach, everyone gets naked at the spa, and there’s a ton of nudity in advertising, films, television and commercials.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.
I think she has something of a very, very general point. I will say, however, that when I was young and traveled to Europe, especially Italy, I was pinched and cat called and ogled much more than when in the U.S., and I can’t say I felt “celebrated.”
I had a friend who went to Italy and she had a similar story. I’m sorry GNAT.
Yes, Italians flirt with everyone, It’s normal
I’m not talking about flirting. I’m talking about touching my breasts and ass. If you think that’s flirting, and it’s normal, then we disagree.
GNAT – i’m sorry for what happened to you.
i was violated as a child in italy.
i LOVE italy…and my people – make no mistake.
but…
they have a reputation of being touchie feely – how many times have we heard about ass pinching on the streets?
my experience was horrific.
i was 11 yrs. old and swimming over my head showing off.
i swam between some teen-age italian boys who had come out my way.
i thought they were trying to drown me being completely innocent without any understanding of what they were actually doing to me.
anyway…
on topic – i agree generally that europeans do not have the sexual hangups of americans.
for better or worse…
Oh sorry, I just reread your comment, I didn’t understood you, english is not my first language.
And also, if I came out rude, I’m sorry, I thought I was agreeing with you in the past comment.
And it’s horrible that they touched you, it happened to me and it’s so scary.
I’m sorrybella. That was terrible what happened to you. And Chem, I’m so sorry I didn’t understand you. Please let me be clear – I was sexually assaulted by an American and have had American men tiuch me inappropriately and say very nasty things to me. In no way did I mean to imply that Italian men are worse or anyone is worse than any other country. My point was just that I don’t believe her remark that European women are more “celebrated” than American women. There are wonderful, kind, intelligent men everywhere, and the vast majority of Italian men were lovely. And there are creeps everywhere, too, including here. I just thought her remark was wrong.
I went to Italy a few times as a teenager and have to agree. Italian men are infamous for their “flirty” ways. It was an everyday occurence for guys in their early-to-mid twenties to chat up me or my friends on the street, ask us out etc. Usually they were pretty harmless though and if you told them to fcuk off they just moved on to another blonde on the horizon. One did however grab and kis my friend while she was walking alone and wouldn’t talk to him and his friend.
It’s true. I’m French and the men are much more aggressive there. However, I was raised to not be ashamed of my body and have been very comfortable with myself.
The only time I’ve really had trouble in France was when I was groped twice on a crowded Metro car in Paris. When I looked behind me to try and see who did it, no one flinched.
The most interesting encounter I had was in Italy when a guy on the beach openly changed into his swimming pants right in front of me just to show his goods. There’s not better way to say “Hello, ladies” than a full-on crotch shot.
I hesitated to comment on this story at all because whenever someone says “Europeans” I’m annoyed. However, I’m trying to remember all the countries I’ve travelled to and I’ve lived in. Plus, my uni had students from all over Europe. I do think she has a point that’s worth discussing/thinking about.
As to the ogling/pinching, I’ve lived in Greece. It’s not Italy but yeah, it’s similar. I wasn’t used to that having grown up in Germany (so much for Europeans). The thing is – and I don’t know how that works in the U.S. – you can tell men here to f*ck off. In my experience, they won’t call you names, they won’t feel threatened and they won’t take it personally. In MY experience. Does that make it okay? I don’t know. It just never felt aggressive or like there was much behind it. I have no idea whether that’s “European” or if I and my girlfriends were just lucky.
I currently live in Greece and I’ve got back (maybe too much), however I’m not young. In 10 years, I’ve never been pinched, but ogling is something I see every day (not directed at me necessarily).
I lived there for a little over a year and was never pinched but twice when taking the bus and it was crowded, someone’s hand wandered. I saw less ogling than straight-up calling out to girls from cars and scooters. Rarely happens here. But again, it never felt aggressive or anything. The wandering hands were NOT fun though.
That was my experience as well. Generally grabbier, but if you tell them to stop they’ll stop and apologise. I never felt threatened.
Here I usually just walk away without confronting the groper because the times I have I’ve gotten a torrent of abuse screamed in my face, but in Italy, France etc. I felt safe telling guys to fuck off.
littlemissnaughty, do you mean Greece?
I LOVE Greece. OK, I was given candy and groped along with my little cousin by some old pedo shop owner but I told her we were getting tfo of there and that was it. My next visits as an older teen were great, and I remember thinking how much more respectful Greek guys were than the sleazy Italian guys that wouldn’t leave my or my friends alone when we went there. Greeks smiled and gave me complements instead of blowing kisses and asking where I was going and expecting me to stop to talk to them… I never felt threatened or gross, just flattered. Ok there was one guy who made weird sounds at me while I was walking alone at 2am or sth like that but I showed him the finger and then yelled fcuk off when it didn’t work and he left me alone lol. Without going into specifics though, it’s highly unlikely he was Greek. From what I read about the US, that would get me raped over there.
I’m from Croatia, which is pretty close to Italy, and yes, we are quite comfortable with nudity. Topless women on the beach are common, and we had one of the first nudist resorts in the world.
However, when it comes to catcalling, i have witnessed it only once. Men usually don’t catcall or ogle women in the streets. I have a friend who is foreign amd she said she nevert felt as safe as she felt in Croatia.
But, how comfortable we are expressing ourselves sexually ( which is different from nudity) is a difderent story. I don’t think we’re much more liberated than Americans.
Yes, I thought she was confusing sexuality with nudity in her remarks, or acting as if they were the same thing.
which, interestingly, shows how American she is in her thinking.
lol, qwerty, exactly
It depends on where you go in Europe – you can get bothered with cat calls and being approached by horny young men in the street but for the most part if you say no (or tell them to go away) they usually profess sadness before walking away – they are rarely aggressive. This is my experience anyway. Thou i have been told that Paris is not a particularly safe place for a woman on her own – i have friends who’ve been groped in public by men who were walking past and decided to cop a quick feel as they did.
The only place i have ever been afraid of that type of behaviour was in Egypt – the men there are aggressive and they will paw at you in broad daylight, right in front of the tourist police who are their to stop that type of behaviour.
Yep my friend lived in Paris and was pretty scared while using public transportation and walking the streets after work. She said it’s mostly men who aren’t French that behave in a certain manner.
Meh, I’m Italian and I get regularly cat-called in the UK.
It depends how you see it, though, do you find it offensive or do you feel flattered? It’s all a matter of perspectives.
Also, yes, no problem with nudity here.
I’ve always wondered what the deal is with the cat calling. Women here seem really offended. I hate the ogling and the overly sexual comments from men. But I have to say that I do appreciate when a man on the street takes a second look, rubbernecks or simply says you look beautiful as I walk down the street. And I am no bird in need of attention.
In Europe you get all kinds— I love the Italian men because they show a good deal of appreciation for women—all women. Thank God for that because if you live in Germany, Austria, Switzerland or Belgium you will start to think you are the ugliest girl in the village because you get nothing. Meanwhile in Greece they get a bit enthusiastic and you could feel threatened. In the US they will take a second and third look but will say nothing. In London, the Nigerian men will follow you home.
And then there are the Caribbean men…well, God bless their hissing and whistling souls….the best you can say is that it boosts feminine morale and builds female character…
Just my experience living away from home.
LOL – Caribbean men and their over the top displays are quite funny, they do have a flair for the dramatics.
I don’t feel “flattered” when a man I don’t know feels he has the right to comment on my breasts or bottom at the top of his lungs, no matter where I am. I think it’s sort of pathetic when women do. They seem to think that the root of those remarks is admiration or appreciation, when it’s actually aggression. Sort of like peeing on a tree to mark it as your own. I don’t need the comments of strange men to feel good about myself.
@GNAT Thank god. This whole exchange makes me ridiculously uncomfortable and seems to suggest that women who don’t appreciate the cat calling need an attitude adjustment.
I honestly don’t need a stranger to tell me I look beautiful to feel good about myself. And if it went away….my self esteem wouldn’t plummet either.
@GNAT I’m glad you said it before I did! What is wrong with some women?! Let’s get something straight Cat calling (groping, touching…etc) doesn’t happen because they appreciate women- it’s because they don’t respect women. It’s the fact that they see you as nothing more than a sexual object they can objectify for their pleasure and nothing more. And no I’m not a prude , I own and control my sexual identity, I enjoy being sexual and I don’t need some creep yelling at me to feel flattered or build my self esteem! It’s sad that in 2015 women still believe that bad behavior like this is a compliment or when a man is the jealous controlling type it means they love you so. We are clearly not working hard enough to help women realize their worth.
@ Saywhatwhen: Uh, as a German woman I have to disagree. Strongly. While it is true that cat calling is almost unheard of here, trust me, the women here are fine. We know who we are and don’t need some dude on the street to comment. I’ve never felt ugly because no stranger ever tells my needy little soul that my butt looks good today.
This thread is hilarious. And it’s true, here in Austria you will hardly ever get cat-called or ogled at. There was a show this week on Austrian TV where a very attractive girl was trying to pick up men in a shopping center. It was filmed with a hidden camera. She was asking guys whether she could use their mobile as her battery was running low. All guys gave her their phones but when she invited them for a coffee (her pick-up line) all of them said NO and quickly went away. 🙂
The downside of this is that it is super-hard to get to know people and make friends. I have some friends from abroad and most of them complain about it.
About the nudity: the Danube river runs right through Vienna and there is an articifial island on it called Donauinsel (Danube Island). It’s for leisure activities like cycling, running, swimming. A big part of it is a nude beach and the paths for cycling, running go right through it. So my foreign friends were really shocked when they went there for the first time. 😛
So in this respect Austrians (as Europeans) are more comfy with nudity. And we have the same rules for spas and sauna like Germany: no clothes allowed.
lol, Elisa, do they have a clip on youtube?)) id love to watch it! 😀
May I ask how many of you are from the US? Because THIS:
“Cat calling (groping, touching…etc)” made me LOL.
NO. Cat calling and touching are very different things. Plus, most men in Italy will compliment you saying stuff like “you’re beautiful” “love your hair” “ciao bella”, and I don’t find this in ANY WAY disrespectful! On the contrary, on bad days it’s quite a booster! That though doesn’t mean you need to be an insecure person to enjoy it. Women should stop just seeing everything as constantly dangerous, and disrespectful. But hey, maybe our mentality in central/souther Europe is a bit more open? I don’t know, can’t explain such a difference in thoughts.
People need a chill pill.
Lumping an Italian experience in with all of Europe is incredibly narrow. Italians pinch but you’ll not have a French or Austrian man lay a hand on you, that is a very Italian (and rarely Spanish) behavior.
The whole conversation is weird. I lived in Rome and Barcelona, went everywhere by myself, and while men looked my way, nobody ever attempted to molest me. They were all very complimentary, that is all.
I felt Paris was slightly less safe in some areas but I simply assumed my “battle” face so that nobody would even think I was interested in any way.
WTF!? Honestly, I’ve never EVER had someone touching me in Italy, and I’m Italian!
Spanish men won’t EVER put a hand on you, this is a freaking felony!, apart from that this is something that no normal guy would ever think about it. I don’t know exactly what happens in other countries, but nowadays in Europe you have to be extra careful with men from other “cultures” that think that women are inferior and Ok to be treated as objects, but apart from that they will only look your way and some may cat call you, but that’s it.
Also cat calling in my country is considered vulgar and tacky by most of people.
I’m the opposite of you, I can’t stand her. It’s not something in particular she’s said or done, more the general smug cool girl vive she gives off. I can’t believe people dislike Alicia Vikander for her smugness on this sight, at least she has the talent to back it up. Emily just has nice boobs.
You made me laugh. I don’t get the attention this chick gets. I saw Gone girl and had no idea at the time who she was but remember my boyfriend and I had the exactly the same thoughts: “this girl must have been cast because of her breasts”. And since; I don’t get it. She looks like a Kardashian to me. But hey, like Karl Lagerfeld said about Kim K; beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Vikander gets hate ’cause she is considered annoying. Kind of is, but I like it when a woman actually has strong enough ovaries to say: “I did this; was awesome in it and I do deserve credit; it’s my time”.
But would it be better if you show some gracious humility. She could’ve said she is grateful for everything that is happening for her, not be so ‘it my time to shine’ thing. I would say in her defense, that Alicia Vikander has work very hard to get where is she and she showed grace. Then I would like her.
I don’t know; I get your point, I really do. It’s just that I tasted gracefulness in business. Mostly because it’s men’s world, the field I work in. I used to show gracious humility, but I started being successful and taken seriously only after I acknowledged who I was and how great I did my job. I had no one to be thankful but myself; I did it all by myself and I don’t want to be humble anymore. Men aren’t. So, I’m giving her a pass.
@DS, it is exactly my experience too. Being humble and waiting other people to notice how great you are doesn’t work in business. What actually happens is other people take credit for you work.
Noooo, you have to go out of your way and tell anyone willing and not willing to listen what you did and how great of a job it turned out to be, because nobody else will do it for you. And so what if people think it is annoying or immodest? This is how sour society is set up. When being humble starts being rewarded people will act accordingly.
I greatly dislike false humility, pretending things just happen by themselves, it is dishonest.
I don’t like either the two of them. Yes, Alicia Vikander is talented and very pretty, but she needs to stop taking herself too seriously and just be a human for once. She needs to lighten up. As for Emily what-her-face, she needs to just shut up. People don’t care about your nudity, they just think that is how you got famous it.
I can’t stand her either.
Also, who the f*ck wants to see their mom naked?
Why is she talking about that like it’s a cool thing, man?
Coming from a family where everyone sees everyone naked, like all the time (sorry, we are a bunch of hippies in Sixerland) – I took her to mean that it was cool to not see it as a big deal, rather than cool generally?
But I will say: I have no idea who she is. So if YOU say she is annoying, Kitten-pet, I’ll believe you.
Growing up, my household was the opposite, Six. We were not naked people at all.
That being said, there is NO shame in nudity, I just don’t want to see anyone except my boyfriend naked, that’s all. Sort of like how I don’t want to see strangers sucking face or people clipping their toenails on the train (yep, it’s happened), I just believe that some things should be considered private.
Now, this is just personal preference, not intended to shame Naked Folks like the Sixers, whom I’m sure are fab in all their naked glory 😉
It’s pretty anti-science of you not to want to see your mom naked, Kit. 😉
I can honestly say that I have never clipped my toenails on the train. Teehee.
I do not advise a visit to chez Sixer, my lovely. You’d need the eye bleach!
@Kitten
My mom called me to tell me about my dad being in the hospital because of some kind of blockage issue and her first words were “your father’s penis…” I think I blacked out after that and have never been the same. Words no woman should ever hear.
“or people clipping their toenails on the train (yep, it’s happened)”
LOL at that comment and eww
And you’re not alone I don’t care much for Emily. Why are they trying so hard to make her a thing..
I shower with my little daughter. She sees mamma barefaced and barea$$ed every morning. And she knows the proper names for every body part.
I grew up seein my dad’s penis every day as he made his way to the shower. Never thought nothing of it. The same thing with my mom.
I walk around naked every day in the house, sometimes I can’t even be bothered to think about if the neighbours see me, and I think I’m pretty normal. 🙂
Only wanting to see a naked body in a sexual context is a completely cultural thing. There are places in this world where entire villages walk around each other naked and no one bats an eye. A body is a body.
> Only wanting to see a naked body in a sexual context is a completely cultural thing.
I feel like prudish societies do that to people,
In Victorian times, a woman showing an ankle was considered a sexual thing.
In Dubai if a woman goes in a T-shirt, with bare arms , it is an equivalent of practically going naked. Men go crazy and stare.
The more there are rules around body and what is “sin”, the more you have repressed sexuality which comes out in disturbing ways.
Freaking this! The smugness is ripe with Emily. She’s mediocrity at its finest getting the star treatment because of her looks and boobs.
Absolutely!!! I cannot stand her smugness….
I feel like her opinions are formed by taking a poll of what the boozed up college guy or greasy hedge-fund guy will say they like in a gal. I do not buy what she is selling because it comes off as unauthentic.
Thats the definition of a Cool Girl from Gone Girl. There was an interview with her on this site once and every comment called her that lol.
And those boobs aren’t even real. She’s also had at least one nose job, cheek implants and lip injections.
I don’t find there is anything interesting about her.
Me neither. She was naked in a video with Robin Thicke. I don’t even remember her in Gone Girl. Sit down already.
Am I the only one with deja vu? I could have sworn this was the gist of her last interview. In other news, water is wet. Puritans flooded en masse over here, it will take many eons to scrub that out.
I agree & I thought the same thing after my first thought which was ‘why is she being interviewed?’
I feel like all she talks about is being naked. Is she doing anything else? She was in one video and a small role in a movie, but that’s all I know of her.
Dude, every single one of her interviews are interchangeable at this point. “My boobs, sex, sexiness, sexuality, sexual liberation, my boobs, nudity…oh did I mention sex?”
Ugh. She grates on me like no other.
…I feel like I have to add that her boobs are amazing, mainly because I can’t think of anything else positive to say about her.
Sex sex sexy sex
She gives the same answers in every interview.
It’s all she ever talks about and she says the same things over and over. This site reports it every time like it’s a new thing.
I always get her and Kendall Jenner confused, Which is fitting because their fame has probably the same amount of shelf life.
As in long or short shelf life? ‘Cause if you’re talking about fame and relevancy, maybe there’s a foreseeable light at the end of the tunnel, but if you’re talking physically… she looks so concocted and manufactured like a Kardashian that I’d call her a damn Twinkie! 😃
As someone who comes from this amazing place called ”Europe” – where women can eat what they want (all fresh, artisan produce of course) without putting on weight, and where everyone is so free and open about sexuality (supposedly), I can say that to me nothing indicates cluelessness more than someone offering opinions about ”Europe” as though it were one homogeneous entity.
How much time has this Emily actually spent in Europe? Where has she been (it’s rather a big place, after all)? What gives her the expertise to offer banal opinions on a continent which stretches from the Arctic Circle to the shores of the Meditteranean, with vastly different cultures and attitudes?
Emily is just a young woman with big bouncy boobs (imho, great body aside, she’s not even pretty). Unfortunately, for her, there are literally millions of young women with big bouncy boobs. And some of them even have talent or intelligence in addition to the big bouncy boobs. Her constant ‘Cool Girl’ talk about nudity and sex is getting very old, though I suppose she doesn’t have much else to offer. I suspect her 15 minutes will soon be up.
Yes!!!!!!!!
YES.
Quite. It’s not as though Scandinavians are the same as the Mediterranean countries or the Anglo Saxon countries in their attitudes towards sexuality and nudity. However, if you are going to paint with very broad brushes, it is true to say that Europeans in general have a more relaxed attitude to nudity than Americans.
But it’s not all about the women. Why can we see women full frontal naked but hardly ever men? Is a penis THAT precious that it must always be hidden away? I did a little whoop watching The Leftovers the other day, because we saw Christopher Ecclestone’s penis (in a non-sexual way). Progress!
(Er… not that I had any great desire to see CE’s penis. Just good that it was allowed to be seen.)
Our male statues aren’t even allowed to have genitals.
Snigger!
I never understood why a woman’s full glory can be displayed and men’s penises are literally tucked away.
Mark Ruffalo gave a generous display of his goods in “In the Cut”.
A Britisher slang term for male genitalia is “crown jewels”. That’s how precious a penis is, dontchaknow!
Yes. I also usually dislike when people say Europeans are this or Europeans do that as if we’re all the same, but I think she is right that in the general, very broad sense people have a more comfortable approach to nudity in Europe. Even in the catholic and seemingly conservative part of Europe I come from (and Emily’s father comes from). It’s not like people walk naked and flash strangers on the streets, but there’s much more nudity on tv, even during daytime, the movies with mild sex scenes or naked boobs/butts are not automatically R-rated as long as there’s no gore or vulgarities, there are nudist beaches or saunas etc. I work in a hotel & spa in Germany now and I’ve noticed that American guests are usually really baffled or even enraged when they find out that they are supposed to be naked in the sauna. Many of them refuse to use it or demand their money back. Not every European county is accustomed to it as well, but guests from those countries don’t make such a fuss about it.
But that part about women being universally celebrated in Europe is a BS. There’s plenty of sexists and misogynists here. But luckily there’s also plenty of gentlemen. I saw pictures, so she certainly visited England – when I lived there I was being cat-called every single day and I’m not as attractive as she is. She is lucky if she didn’t experience any of that or she’d change her mind.
Sorry Sixer I’m just seeing this comment now but I posted something similar down below. Have you seen This Film is Not Yet Rated? Excellent documentary that really breaks down the sexism in Hollywood as far as how it portrays male/female nudity.
Kitten (will also look below) – I haven’t seen it. But this is a bugbear of mine.
NBM and all: I think there are two separate issues here:
1) casual nudity – ie depicting people in changing rooms, getting changed, in the shower, getting out of bed, whatever. And we can see from film and TV that European sensibilities are much more comfortable with this than US sensibilities are. Else I wouldn’t be cheering when a US TV show shows a penis rather than panning away.
2) attitudes towards female sexuality and whether or not naked or scantily dressed women attract misogynistic attention (as well as genuinely celebratory complimentary attention). And in this case, I think we can pretty much say women get the shite end of the stick whichever side of the Pond they live on.
I gotta say that naked saunas would gross me out. Not the naked part, but the bodily fluid part.
Male and female full frontal nudity isn’t quite the same…
If a woman is standing naked, you can’t actually *see* her genitals generally. A man’s you can (hopefully).
@Sarah-so what you’re saying is that women should be subjected to different standards because of our inherent physical makeup? Ok then…
Sixer, you misunderstand.
I think Europe, with its many nations, is far more culturally diverse than the US. As are the countries of Asia. As is Africa – the countries of which get lumped together culturally far more often than any other continent. I agree that there is intra-country diversity is in every single country in the world.
My only point is I also think that the most people not familiar with the US grossly underestimate the amount of cultural diversity here.
We already are subjected to different standards….. see male vs female toplessness
Doesn’t mean we should be but fact is we are.
> We already are subjected to different standards….. see male vs female toplessness
I noticed in the US, though, people are even a bit uncomfortable with men being topless. Unless it is on a beach, you won’t see a guy working without a shirt (like in a yard).
Speaking of beaches, the difference in American and European beach attire for men is hilarious. Most European men wear bikini swim bottoms, and in the US men wear knee length trunks. So, when you go to Mexico, for example, where there is a mix of both it is funny to watch reactions of people from different cultures to each other.
oh, come on. There are vastly different cultures and attitudes in the US, too. I always get slightly exasperated with everyone who feels the need to observe geography. European countries share a continent. Therefore, you share cultural proximity. That’s not news. In other non-news: Canada is influenced by American politics and culture, despite our obvious differences.
It’s efficient to refer to Portugal, Spain, France, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Italy, Greece, etc., as Europe. Just like it’s efficient to refer to China, Japan, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia as Asia. I think common sense tells you of course a region is not a homogeneous entity.
YES. You beat me to it.
I think every American should ask that we be identified according to the state that we’re from, since political persuasions, languages, cuisine, and beer selection varies from Massachusetts to say, Texas. 😉
I know countries much smaller that have different cousines, architecture even languages in different parts, let alone people’s political orientations.
But you have the same media, the same political system, the same ( or similar) school system, so while different parts of the US are different, I don’t think you can compare that to Europe. It is still one country.
Well, not really. There are big cultural differences within the UK too. But we are tied together by much more that is shared. Same goes for the US. You’ve got more that is shared than is different. Cultural values are inextricably linked to nationality and sense of nationhood. Also, I would argue that in many ways the UK has more in common with the US than it does with continental Europe.
Kitten, not even what state, what SIDE of the state you’re from too. The western states are so vast that they encompass widely varying geography and cultural climates. Whether you’re from the North or South, East or West matters a great deal. Where I live, there is an extreme divide between the two halves and you must identify yourself by the side you live on because it effects everything from your political views to your attitude on important social issues.
YES Wren exactly. The difference between northern Cali and SoCal or Austin and…the rest of Texas.
I’m just teasing Texans today. My BF and I actually might try to get over to Texas next year so you guys are on the forefront of my mind 😉
@Sixer & Bae- True, and I agree but the thing that people forget is the sheer amount of people living in the US. 319 MILLION–5 times that of the UK. Plus the land mass is huge. At the risk of sounding incredibly condescending, I think it’s hard for Europeans (sorry had to do it lol) to fully comprehend how many varied cultural experiences are inherent to a population as large and diverse as the US.
@Kitten
I think that USA is an immensely culturally rich country and obviously that will be visible. Still people are united by a language and political/educational system (somehow). Language is one of the biggest cultural marks for a society to share…Europe doesn’t even share that between countries. Obviously in a time of globalization people share cultural aspects easily but don’t forget that that globalization is still pretty recent. USA is a country, Europe is not. Independently of the size that might make a difference. And let me tell you something…China is amazingly and incredibly culturally diverse and having friends from different regions in there, taught me that I needed to take into consideration completely different cultural aspects.
I don’t know, I guess that sometimes generalizations are just that, generalizations. I try not to apply them to an all country, much less a Continent, but for the sake of conversation sometimes we all do it. In this specific point is just plain wrong…the way Europeans deal and see nudity is pretty much different according to the country…but well, that’s why discussing in Celebitchy can be cool. I certainly learned more about USA and diversity since I read the comments here!
So when a person moves from Kansas to say, California they experience full on culture shock? Because I’m pretty sure that would happen if someone suddely moved from Moldova to Norway.
Kitten. You know I love you, right?
You’re doing right now what gets your goat so much when others do it to Americans. Honestly.
The US is a nation state with a diversity of people and culture, but its shared commonalities define it.
The UK is a nation state with a diversity of people and culture, but its shared commonalities define it.
Europe is not a nation state. It has a diversity of people and culture but it is not defined by its shared commonalities.
If I were to lump Brazilians and Venezuelans and USA-ans all together on the basis they all came from the Americas, you’d take issue. That’s what you’re doing here.
@ Bae having experienced real culture shock, no I wouldn’t say that moving from one state to another in the US would cause that kind of shock. However, that isn’t to say that from one coast to the other there aren’t some significant and jarring cultural or climate differences in the US. I have recently moved from Florida to Arizona and am still trying to adjust. Yes, the language is the same and I can watch the same things on tv, but there is a definite difference in the types of people and attitudes then what I was used to. Of course, I also miss the ocean in the huge desert I’m now sitting in lol.
@Kitten: Don’t forget Eastern and Western Washington! They may as well be different planets, from the climate to the landscape to the people.
Kitten, I hear ya, I know what you’re saying.
Despite what some people are asserting here, “Americans” barely share any commonalities, except a certain fervid patriotism in the wake of great upheaval – see WWII or 9/11.
As far as US prudishness, yes, it’s strong in some places and some segments of society. But we hardly share the same notions of morality across the board. The folks walking around the Tenderloin or East Village will have probably have vastly different views on public nudity from someone in Ames Iowa.
And yes, if you moved from Ames Iowa to the East Village, you would experience a massive dose of culture shock.
@ Bae-Uh yeah, if you don’t think that someone would experience cultural shock moving from New Jersey to New Mexico, then you really need to travel more to the US. lol
Texas to Hawaii? Alaska to Puerto Rico? VASTLY different climate, culture, language, food, everything. Just incredibly different way of life.
@Sixer-I didn’t disagree with that statement though (not sure how I could as it is factual) but my point still stands that a common political system or the same TV shows or whatever are not the ONLY defining characteristics of a culture. I don’t see how so many commenters here don’t get that. I NEVER said it is the EXACT same thing as the difference between Moldova and Norway, but it is absolutely similar in the sense that it is a very different way of life from coast to coast, state to state, region to region. As Wren said, even WITHIN a state there are cultural “pockets” that differ vastly from one another. Each region’s climate, religion (for instance, Amish or Catholic or Mormom, etc) proximity to another country (like Mexico or Canada) makes for an incredibly difference experience state-to-state.
I’m not asking this to be challenging or jerk-y but have you all been to the Unites States and REALLY traveled from say, New York, to Missouri? There’s a reason why cross-country trips are so popular here beyond the obviously appealing logistical ones: you get to absorb all kinds of different ways of life and micro-cultures all without having to deal with border-crossing.
And I admit that I’m no expert on every country within the EU–not by a longshot. But I have traveled to the UK, Ireland, France, Italy, Switzerland, etc. and I hope to do more 😉
But I’ve never noticed a huge cultural difference between say, Paris, and the Cote d’Azur (sorry for poor accent).
Additionally, I don’t think comparing/contrasting the EU vs the US is offensive. I’m not trying to make it into a contest you know? Hell, I’m a French citizen as much as I’m an American citizen.
Minime –
” Still people are united by a language and political/educational system (somehow).”
Americans are completely segmented by these very two things.
Sixer –
“You’ve got more that is shared than is different. Cultural values are inextricably linked to nationality and sense of nationhood”
I would say that this is the real issue. Most Americans don’t feel that they share more than they differ. I feel I share more with you right now, and I don’t know you, than I do with my next door neighbor, who I do know. His values, his outlook, and what he thinks this nation stands for are so different from mine. And that’s common across the land, neighbor to neighbor, state to state, culture to culture.
But I don’t want to turn this into a US against the world show. To the initial point, we USians do project a general aura of prudishness, even though it isn’t carried through in every city or segment of society. European countries, in general, tend to be more tolerant.
@Suze-that was so perfectly articulated that it made me wish I could delete my comments. But yeah, you said in a few sentences what I tried to say in several long-winded paragraphs.
I’m going back to work now so I’ll say later to y’all. Sorry if I offended anyone..I hope you don’t try to stop me from visiting your country. 😉
Suze, Kitten
You notice the differences (aside from the fact that they exist) because you live them.
If you think that living in London is anything like living in Belfast, or Glasgow, or a Scottish isle, or the Celtic south west, or the post-industrial north, you’d be entirely wrong. What makes you think it is? What makes you think I can’t walk into my local pub and find exactly the same diametrically opposed views on the state of the nation?
I love you guys to bits, but honestly, can you not hear the cultural arrogance in what you’re saying?
“Oh, you other people, you Europeans. You’re not diverse like WE are. We’re going to explain this to you by describing cultural, social and political diversity in OUR country that is exactly the way you experience it in your country but when you say that it’s exactly the way we experience it, we’re going to tell you it doesn’t count. Because American.”
> I love you guys to bits, but honestly, can you not hear the cultural arrogance in what you’re saying?
Here I go into the fray. Practically in every country except for small ones with 5-10 mil populations there are different regions, ethnicities, culture and differences, I would say the US is not that diverse compared to them. I definitely have no trouble travelling through states in the US, most things look the same – the same hotels, restaurants, stores, suburbia. It is in no way comparable to going from Norway to Italy, for example.
Or just take Germany, it was made up of how many principalities – Bavaria, Prussia, Thuringia etc.? I don’ t really know but I think somewhere between 10-20, all of them were their own countries in the past, with their own laws traditions, dialects etc. UK is also made up out of several formerly separate and independent countries. Italy – the same, Spain – the same etc.
In the US there are regional differences, but they are in not comparable to the countries in Europe or even differences across other big countries such as China, India and Russia.
Well, that wasn’t my point at all.
It’s not a contest. If it were, yes, there is far more differences, culturally, between the nations of Europe than the states of the US. And, frankly, if it came down to a contest of which land mass is the most diverse, Africa wins all things hand down. It is the best, most shining example of a continent of extreme cultural differences, both inter and intra countries. Travel from South Africa to Egypt (perhaps you have) and you will agree with me. Heck, travel within South Africa, within Bostwana, and you will agree. Again, this isn’t to educate anyone on here – I’m just telling you that I am aware of the great cultural diversity in the world, too.
The US is no more culturally diverse than anywhere else. Every nation state on earth has diversity of culture – every single solitary one.
The point was simply that there are differences across the US that aren’t often reflected in discussions, such as this one, that basically asserts there is one morality across the country. America is Prudish. The answer is the same as it would be if you were asserting France is Absolutely Always Tolerant of All Things Sexual. Yes, but not really.
And that internally, Americans really don’t view themselves as a monolithic force, cultural or otherwise, unless we are facing something perceived as a huge, scary external force.
Suze
Sorry if I got snippy!
This strand of the thread is about the “right” comparison being between Europe and the USA though. And it really, really isn’t.
I agree all countries are diverse. There are many different flavours of American – but they are all identifiable as American. There are many different flavours of Brit – but they are all identifiable as Brit.
But Europeans aren’t all identifiable as European any more than a USA-an and a Brazilian are both identifiable as Americans.
I honestly cannot tell you how infuriating it is as a Brit (or indeed a European) when Americans decide my identity for me!
But I do love you!
Nah, it’s nothing Sixer. I love you, too!
This conversation sent me back to look at photos of the Motorcycle Diary- style trip my husband and I took across Africa many moons ago – arduous as hell but so very, very worth it in life memories.
And that got me on a rant about cultural diversity.
Oh, and yeah, and looking at my photos I can confidently say there is a pretty relaxed attitude toward nudity in some nations of Africa and very much the opposite in some others. Cultural differences are grand things ; ).
@Suze plus 1. You are saying what I want to say, but much more eloquently. I think it is pretty natural to want to celebrate your nation’s diversity and uniqueness. As long as it doesn’t involve a general “We’re #1!” I don’t see the arrogance in it. And the US isn’t number 1 in diversity, but neither is it a monolith.
Thank you Greenie. I do not understand why people get pissed off when we say “Europeans”. There is a great deal of cultural, ethno and socio-economic similarity among the European countries made possible because of their close proximity. The Germans have lots in common with the Dutch and the Portuguese have a lot in common with the Spanish, so too the Greeks with the Italians. And yet you can’t comment that they share similar eating habits, attitudes towards sex, etc. Maybe it is something that is easily observed if you are an outside living in Europe.
(Kisses for Suze and Kitten)
But forgot this for Kitten – I have good experience about the people who live in and what it is like to live in California (LA) and Texas (Houston) since I have relatives living in both and have spent a good amount of time in both. I also know NYC reasonably well but only as a visitor, so we won’t count that. These are two wildly different states, right? But I promise you: to an outsider, it’s like I said above – the people are different flavours of American. Different flavours, yes, but the emphasis is American. The people are unmistakeably American and this defines them more than all the differences.
I’d be willing to bet that if you came to the UK and stayed with me in the back of West Country beyond for a few months, then stayed with my brother in London for a few months, you’d say exactly the same thing: different flavours of Brit but all unmistakeably Brit. All those differences that are deeply meaningful to me would seem less to you than our identities as Brits.
You cannot say this about Europe. It is SO, SO, SO not the same thing, and no amount of Yanksplaining will make it so.
(I know Yanksplaining is disgustingly rude. But it’s also disgustingly funny, right? It popped into my head and I couldn’t resist typing it. It is meant with LOVE!)
@saywhatwhen – because it’s rude and ethnocentric?
No offense to the Americans (USA-ans) but shouldn’t it be up to those of us who actually are from Europe to get to decide if we identify as one big lump (I know no one used those words)? First and foremost I identify by my hometown, second as a Swede, third as a Scandinavian and finally sometimes as European. There’s a big difference between me and someone from northern Sweden (especially the accent!) but we’re still all Swedish. I’m sure there are similarities between me and someone from say Italy, but I’m Swedish and they are Italian.
I have swedish and american citizenship, and I growed up in Scandinavia, the US, and s couple of countries in the south of Europe. My dad is american and resides there. I feel both american and swedish, but slightly more swedish. Feeling European is something I think mostly politicians say they feel.
I would say that you can’t compare cultural diffrences within the U.S to what diffrences there is between the countries in Sweden. It’s just ignorant. I’m sorry but the truth is that the diffrences are much larger. You have an american history that you all study: the founding fathers, the civil war (even though some state lost), the gold rush, etc. Here every country have it’s own history which can sometimes be shared by other countries (like when we fought each other in wars), but other then that the history is diffrent. We don’t share national holidays, food, religion, climate, and language. Simply, it’s not the same and it can’t be compared.
Well, don’t you know that we’re a country with a capital Paris/France/UK? *eyeroll*
“European countries share a continent. Therefore, you share cultural proximity.”
Not really. Japan and Iran are both in Asia, though I’d hardly say they share much by way of ‘cultural proximity’. Likewise, I wouldn’t say that Greece has much in common with Norway, yet they are both very much a part of the continent of Europe and members of the EU.
” I think common sense tells you of course a region is not a homogeneous entity. ”
So why do people (most of them with little experience in ‘Europe’) speak of ‘Europe’ as though it were just that, a homogeneous entity? Like I say, I’d love to know how long Emily has spent in Europe, and how many of the approximately 50 European countries she has first-hand knowledge of. Attitudes to Emily’s favourite subject – sex and nudity – vary very much among these 50 odd countries. It seems to me, when I hear people like her talk about ‘Europe’ and how wonderful it is, what they are really referring to is a highly idealised idea of Mediteranean Europe, not Europe in all its complexity and variety.
“So why do people (most of them with little experience in ‘Europe’) speak of ‘Europe’ as though it were just that, a homogeneous entity?”
People do this to America and Africa, for example, as well. I would guess it is a side product of ignorance and having only superficial knowledge of the country/geographical location in question. I think it is safe to say Ms.Ratajkowski falls into those two catogories.
Thank you, Etheireda. You said some great things and made me laugh out loud at the “big bouncy boobs” bit.
I live in provincial France and people are not notably healthy, fashionable, or open-minded/cultured. Paris is often thought of in this way but the rest of the country (aside from the touristy Côte d’Azur) is largely made-up of people just living everyday, ordinary life.
In regard to people being comfortable with sexuality, the subject is most certainly less taboo especially when it comes to marketing. For example, if you want to buy shower gel, you can catch a television advert with a fully naked woman’s backside on display with the bottle covering her genitals (with still a full view of her upper mound area) as she turns around. It grabs attention, for sure, but most of the time you don’t see nudity just to see nudity.
But that’s not really evidence of being ‘comfortable with sexuality’, rather with being comfortable with displaying the bodies of hot young women (like Emily herself) for male delectation. And of course it’s always – or almost always – women’s bodies being fetishised and eroticised. You rarely see the cameras caressing naked men in such a manner.
Most men – and not just Europeans – are quite ‘comfortable’ with looking at hot naked women and claiming it is proof of being ‘relaxed’ and ‘open-minded’ about sex. Reverse the genders though and …. not so much. I call it the ”Game of Thrones” phenonemon.
I’d say French people are more accustomed to being exposed to nudity but yes, being comfortable with sexuality varies from person to person. My 1000% French in-laws, for example, never uttered the word “sex” to their kids or had any kind of birds-and-the-bees talk.
There is a yearly calendar of the French rugby team that features fully naked players but again, their bits are usually covered by the ball (aside from perhaps a bit of pubic hair being shown).
Thank you Ethelreda!!
Europe is more a political concept than anything else.
Each country is extremely different from another, hell, within the same country there are people with totally different cultures, languages and lifestyles!
I am from Italy and the difference between the North and the South (and WITHIN the North,/South themselves, between different regions) is MORE than considerable.
The same is true, to different degrees, for France, Germany, Spain.. pretty much all the biggest European countries.
And this is only a quick summary of the whole picture.
Just because she travelled around Europe a couple of times, it doesn’t mean she knows s**t about life here.
I doubt she ‘travelled around Europe’. I suspect she’s been on a few short trips to major cities in countries like France and Italy, hanging out with ‘cool’, English speaking urban types, and now pronounces herself an expert on ‘Europe’.
I’m sure her next interview will be about how she sunbathed nude in ‘Europe’, because, you know she’s just so European and comfortable with her sexuality and nudity. And she really, really wants us all to know about it!
1 Million times yes from a European fellow!!
So sick of the old ignorant over generalizations of people who have no clue!
Even when Europeans move into another European country, there are huge cultural shock moments.
When I told my friends that in Germany you would have to go to the sauna naked, they could barely believe it…That is strictly forbidden in my European country (which happens to be a Mediterranean one…for those over generalizing on Mediterranean also). And not only sauna, if you would get naked in an unauthorized beach you would be arrested. Topless is allowed but it is seen as a very “cheap” behaviour usually done by…tourists. I had to advise my German friends a million of times when they visited my country that they would end up being arrested if they continued to get fully naked everywhere (and mind you that this German nudity friendly attitude is also VERY different between east and west Germany).
I also find it hilarious when [some] Americans talk about nudity in European movies/publicity…err…are you paying attention to Hollywood? There is no movie out there without female nudity (usually big fake boobies)…none…and guns…but then male nudity, drugs and certain language are censored. I would say that the difference in the nudity in “European cinema” is just that it’s more raw, real life kind of nudity/bodies (not more and probably not less in general).
I remember friends who went on school exchange trips to Germany were traumatised by swimming pools and gym changing rooms were everyone got completely naked – sometimes with no gender segregation. And in many German cities, sections of public parks are reserved for nude sunbathing.
But that’s a German thing, definitely not a ‘European’ thing!
Yes I agree with you about nudity in Hollywood vs. “European cinema”. It’s also important to point out that male nudity is FAR more rare than female nudity in American films. I watch a lot of foreign films and that is a marked difference. Blame the MPAA for all the sexism.
Kitten – is that it? Is the MPAA taking on the morality of the nation? More than the MPAA reflecting the actual attitudes of the nation?
We used to have a TV campaigner here in the 1970s called Mary Whitehouse (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Whitehouse) who successfully managed to Bowdlerise a lot of TV content, long past the time when people wanted it. We’ve moved past such moral guardians these days, though.
Yeah, it’s a combination of the MPAA and the annoyingly archaic puritanical culture that this country was founded on. I don’t think it reflects the current attitude of most Americans, as evidenced by most commenters here who would love to see more dong. lol
Ugh “Student Christian Movement”, “Moral Re-Armament”? She sounds like the British Tipper Gore. Or, Tipper Gore is the American Mary Whitehouse 😉
That totally makes sense to me. Big disconnect between public discourse and private views of the majority.
minime, where are you from exactly in the Med?
People in America dont get naked at the spa or see their parents naked?
Huh I really didnt know that
Were I live its no big deal but I guess its different from home to home?
No, we don’t. That is considered strange and weird, bordering on creepy. Some families are much more comfortable with nudity than others, but on the whole it’s considered taboo. Public nudity of any kind is frowned upon, including at the spa.
Lol, I was told to cover up when one woman saw my breasts in a sauna once. I was like – what is wrong with you? She was so offended and all red in the face.
Needless to say, that was in my first year in the US.
By spa do you mean sauna? Most Americans would never be in a spa with their family.
I’m on another forum a lot and it has made me aware of just how different American attitudes are. I was raised in a completely prudish religious environment so it’s not like that’s foreign to me but actually, my parents didn’t really care. Nudity wasn’t a huge deal in our house. Whatever. We (my 5 brothers and I) all swam competitively, lived in Speedos, and thought nothing of it. I don’t think of a Speedo as anything but functional and yet a lot of Americans seem to freak out: “Too tight!” “Too European!” “Too embarrassing!” (??!!)
I don’t know if it’s just Americans but I’m blown away by how prudish some people are. Like is it really a big deal for a parent to shower with their child? (It seems to be to some people). This is another touchy subject, but I can’t believe how much people freak out over a photo of a topless girl child, like a 5 year old, on the internet. And while some people are freaking out because of the *on the internet* part (yeah, it would be nice if people didn’t overshare), a lot of people really do just think that’s somehow obscene and use words like “nip slip” (!!). And they talk about how *mortified* they would be if their parents had done that to them as a child. What??! I wouldn’t even notice in the first place, let alone feel embarrassment about a photo of me as a child!
Just some observations. I’m surprised simply at how much attention *bodies* get on social media, particularly childrens’ bodies. And like I said, some of it is simply concern regarding discretion about oversharing in public (but even that argument, I find hard to swallow. Privacy is relative. Just because we can make photos public nowadays in ways we couldn’t 20 years ago doesn’t mean we’re necessarily losing privacy. When billions upon billions of photos are public, any single photo is just as easily buried or nondescript. What you actually lose is control, not privacy). But a lot of it has opened my eyes to wow, definitely an array of attitudes toward the human body. I do think it has to do with the extreme commercialization of femininity in the US/conservative religious backlash.
Yes to every point you made. I grew up in that mythical Europe – but it was a communist part of Europe. Not exactly welcoming to nudity on beaches or in advertising (what advertising? Says my young self) But I only wore a bottom as a bathing suit until I was way older than 5 because that’s what we did. Nobody batted an eyelash, all girls did.
And all the moms wore tiny two piece suits – not to be sexy, but because that is what you wear to the beach.
I think comfort with our bodies is related to, but different from sexuality. Boring Emily’s comment notwithstanding, the emphasis on female body parts as objects of sexual desire (whether in Europe or NA) is damaging and unhealthy. Instead of considering the whole body as natural and normal and capable of a range of activities and sensations, we focus so some finically on the erotic, which is just one of the many functions our body serves.
Hence people being scandalized by breast feeding (seriously??) or to expand on the topic, even on this board, last week I think, when Liam mentioned something about his brother Chris’ digestive problems, some people immediately commented how that was TMI and Chris should be mad. I did not get that at all, either. We are made of parts, but we are much more than the sum of them.
Which country might I ask? Because my country used to be communist, and the most popular add of all times whas for a juice in which a women jumps out of the see wearing a wet white T-shirt.
I grew up in Romania. We had no ads, for anything. We had empty stores though so advertising would have been a complete waste of money… there was nothing to advertise for. We (my family) were fortunate – my dad was ale buy virtue of his work to travel extensively overseas so there came a point in the mid-eighties where literally everything including food was coming from the West. (Not because of snobbishness or anything, it was just preferable to eat than go hungry kind of thing).
We also had no TV to speak of – one channel from 8:00 pm – 10:00 pm five days a week, with a single imported show on Saturday nights when the streets were deserted as we were all inside watching whatever was on – Mannix, Dallas, etc. Once we got a VCR player it was like a whole new universe opened:-)
Good times….
I appreciate everything you say here so much.
….and this is coming from a relatively “prudish” American with a French mother.
oh thanks (I think you were saying this to me. I can never follow the comment thread properly on my phone). I do a lot of analysis and have a hard time turning that off, mentally, so usually feel like I’m irritating everyone with my long drawn out observations nobody cares about.
It’s strange and prudish, I agree. As an American who grew up with the attitude, it mystifies me as well, even though I (through conditioning, I suppose) share it. Why do we care so much about nudity? I don’t know, all I know is “it’s not done”. On one hand it’s incredibly stupid because quite frankly we all pretty much look the same naked so seeing another person’s whole or partially naked body isn’t some kind of “big reveal” or anything. On the other, we are so ingrained with the idea of individualism and how we look represents a large part of our place in the world that being unclothed is considered a great vulnerability.
It really is mind blowing when you stop to think about it. I laugh when women’s nipples are blurred on the TV, but we can show the most gruesome violence imaginable no problem. It’s so bizarre.
Britisher perspective: I think there is somewhat less prudery here than perhaps is common stateside, but the UK isn’t some prude-free paradise. In my family, nobody is worried about bodies or nudity or seeing each other naked, but I do think we are on the more liberated end of the spectrum.
I agree that Americans on the whole are not as comfortable with public nudity, but as a parent I have to mention my concerns about sexualizing young girls. When I see prepubescent young girls in swimsuits that are designed for those with breasts, it does give me concern. I don’t want my daughter to focus on being sexually attractive earlier than necessary, nor do I want her inadvertently tantalizing a sexual predator either.
I am comfortable with nudity, but I don’t feel any urge to share or bring attention to the sexual parts of my body with anyone other than my husband. He gets to see me in a way that no one else does and that’s the way we both like it. I’m not saying it’s wrong to dress in a way that highlights our sexual attractiveness, but for me personally, I want someone noticing my brain or my kindness, before my boobs (which are full and lovely, imo).
It’s scary having a 5YO daughter that has a 1 in 4 chance of being molested or raped before 18. At her young age, we’re teaching her about appropriate touching — that she has a beautiful body that can be shared with hugs and kisses. We tell her that the private parts covered by her swimsuit aren’t to be shared with others, except mom, dad or the doctor, when appropriate. We also tell her that she’s free to say no to any type of touching that makes her uncomfortable, no matter how appropriate the touching is. Lastly, we emphasize that we don’t keep secrets in our family. Secrets can hurt others and if she’s asked to keep it, she can tell it to us without getting in trouble. We hope that all these things will help to empower her to protect herself, without alarming her as to the dangers that may be out there.
That may sound prudish to some, but I care more about my daughter’s safety and giving her the tools to protect herself from someone that may be trying to groom her for his next victim, than her feeling free to show her body to the world. I think she can learn to protect herself and still grow up to be comfortable with her body under these circumstances, as I was.
We teach our 8YO son the same things as his risk of being victimized is nearly as high as hers is.
ETA: I couldn’t agree more that if women are showing their kibbles & bits on screen, men should be too.
> I am comfortable with nudity, but I don’t feel any urge to share or bring attention to the sexual parts of my body with anyone other than my husband
@nutballs, the difference is that people truly comfortable with nudity who grew up in societies/ families more comfortable with nudity don’t even think that way and they don’t think they are brining attention to anything.
Children go naked without any problem because they haven’t yet been taught that their body is something that needs to be hidden.
And North Americans seem to be a loooot less comfortable with geography (as long as we’re making sweeping generalizations about entire continents)…
Again, Europe is a freaking continent with over 30 countries and 500 million people! We are not the same. Not all countries have nude beaches and, gasp, most people quite appreciate clothes and style.
There are things where you can say European as compared to other CONTINENTS (e.g. European women experience less discrimination than African/Asian women etc) but they are more likely to be western culture vs others. You could compare some very general things to US (e.g. people don’t walk around starring in a toothpaste commercial, people are more likely to tell you what they actually think etc) but I’d be very cautious of that too…
To be fair, Europe is a very small continent, and while there are many countries culturally you can group them in 3-4 groups.
1.Germany and Northern Europe + UK, not the same but fairly close
2. Romanic group – Italy, France, Spain, Portugal etc. +Greece
3. Eastern Europe
And every single one of these groups is less prudish than the US.
EN, not to split hairs, but to set the record straight – Romania is in Eastern Europe. It is also as much Romanic as Italy, France, Spain and Portugal by virtue of language and cultural heritage. I know that this is not widely known – people always ask me of I speak Russian when they learn where I grew up. I don’t – Russian has nothing in common with my language. But I do speak French, understand Italian quite a bit and used to know Latin, back in the day.
Ok, this level of ignorance is just funny at this point.
I’m from Eastern Europe, Northeastern to be exact. I have many friends from the Southeastern Europe and believe me, while there are some shared similarities due to the Soviet Era, the cultural differences are vast.
Also, UK together with Germany and Scandinavians? 😀 I’d think before lumping Germans to Scandinavians but try telling Swedish people that they belong with British and they’ll laugh at your face. As someone pointed out, UK is culturally stuck between US and Europe, you might compare them with Ireland but I their culture wouldn’t exhibit a strong match to any continental European country.
@Anna, I grew up in Europe and lived in several countries there and now I live in the US.
I am probably one of the most qualified people here to discuss the differences between them . I am not ignorant on this particular subject.
Yes, everyone is different, and like I said in my other post, even within the same country there are many regional differences. I am not denying it.
But I also can say that there are similarities between French and Italian people, they are definitely more similar to each other than French and Americans, right?
As for UK and US, I think UK is still closer to the rest of Europe than to the US. There are a few things that really define the US and set them apart from the UK and everyone else – patriotism, guns, religion, little knowledge of non-English speaking countries/ languages, puritanism, work-life balance views, environmentalism views, divisive politics, media focused only exclusively on the US ( the rest of the world doesn’t exist).
@vauvert, I love the fact that here we can discuss things with people from so many different countries.
I love learning about different cultures, countries, languages and the differences. It is fascinating. Inevitably, though, I upset someone with my questions, because I want to learn more and I tend to ask questions beyond the general safe topics. You never know what is considered offensive or a touchy subject , it differs quite a bit.
I used to know a girl from Romania. I remember Romanians being very serious about their wine. Almost like French. ))
Anna – I do think the UK is (and again, painting diverse countries with a very broad brush) the closest to the US of all the European countries in many respects. I think it stems from our islander mentality which, in many ways, sits with the US tendency to isolationism/exceptionalism. Also, I don’t the British psyche has quite let go of empire yet. We do a lot of cultural handwringing about its legacy but, deep down inside, we still cling on to a similar sense of superiority that others criticise the US for. It’s not very charming of us, but I believe it to be true.
I just think it’s a question of identity really. It’s not about how diverse individual countries are, or are not. It’s about how people see themselves. And, since just about all the Europeans on this thread do not see themselves primarily as Europeans, they see themselves as Britons, or Germans, or Croatians, or Romanians, or or or then that self-identity should be respected, not written off as irrelevant.
Talking about how America sexualities women without celebrating them…and the only reason she gets to impart this opinion was because she was in a music video with a doucey guy sexualizing women and not celebrating them.
She has the worst style. Her acting career is on life support. Mainly because she can’t act. Her last two films flopped. And now she is making a film that will probably be direct to DVD.
Aaaaand despite this hopeful glimmer of reflectiveness, she’s still that stupid naked chick bouncing around to ‘you the hottest bitch in this place’ in the creepy music video. Don’t blame an entire continent, baby.
She really needs to find a new shtick. The “open about nudity and sex” one is old and tired at this point. It’s the only thing she ever talks about.
On a different note: Does she have any upcoming projects? What has she been in other than Gone Girl?
She was in the Entourage movie that was a flop. And then she was in a Zac Efron movie that was one of the biggest box office fails for who wide a release it was given. Someone said above that her career is on life support, and that is true. She has no acting ability and she doesn’t even have the sense to develop a reputation as a fashionista.
I’m sort of surprised that she hasn’t tried – or hasn’t managed – to bag herself a famous boyfriend by now. Because that’s her only chance of staying relevant. After all, it’s probably only another 5 minutes or so until the next vacant eyed, bouncy titted Cool Girl comes along to tell us all how much she loves walking around the house naked.
I am waiting for her to dump her no-name boyfriend and get with Ben Affleck. Or maybe he’s already hit it and quit it?
Her last statement makes sense, but in her case it’s hypocrisy, just like when she said she “wasn’t trying to be sexy” in that stupid video. Woman, you pose to be eye candy, just own it.
And I’m willing to bet she has breast implants and she didn’t do that because she wanted to celebrate being a woman. It’s because she wanted to have more men ogle her and be able to snag sexy roles. You don’t get to purposely alter your body to be a man’s wet dream and then claim women are overly sexualized, exploited, objectified. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. She is in denial and a total hypocrate.
I just googled – nose job and breast implants!
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/406379566352060738/
Is that supposed to be proof? I don’t buy that her boobs are fake. The pic on the right is clearly more photoshopped/she’s wearing a push-up bra.
I don’t get why some women are so set on proving a celebrity has had plastic surgery. Some celebs just have awesome physical features courtesy of nature.
@ Jay, real boobs are not square at the sides and she has an implant gap. On other sites there are discussions of her implant scars. They’re fake. Women who come out publicly and get all offended, saying “my boobs are real” usually have fakers. And a push-up bra can do wonders but not make them 3 times as big. Real breasts also to not have implant curves at the tops. That being said, way too much lip filler too!!!
We get it, you like sex and to talk about how much you like sex!
What she fails to mention (because she’s actually stupid and relies on her big bouncy boobs and a fame-launch showing them off in a completely gross, disgusting and demeaning music video by a douchebag) is that many of the first immigrants to Canada and the U.S. were made up of ethnic or religious groups seeking asylum or independence. Dutch, German, British, Scandinavian and other peoples came from Presbyterian, Anglican, Baptist, Methodist, Quaker, and Catholic religious backgrounds and were intolerant of nudity and open sexuality. I think it’s a religious hangover in a sense that makes us slightly less tolerant of public nudity, etc. in North America.
Now go away Emily.
Thank you. Much of our culture, laws, societal rules still come from this country being founded and based on Christian beliefs.
All I hear or see when women who sexualize themselves spout off about being more open re sex is that they dont’ want to feel guilty or be made to feel guilty for sexualizing themselves. She’s not just some nudist on a beach somewhere. She is an actress lacking on talent and so relying on her body to be relevant and obtain roles. She should be grateful America still gets gitty and acts coy about sex otherwise she wouldn’t be making a living doing what she’s doing. She’s biting the hand that feeds her so to speak.
Well said JJ.
I lived in the UK and have several European male friends. Yes, sex isnt shrouded with such shame and guilt and taboo. But also.. European men cheat.. A LOT! Sex is less serious there in my opinion. It’s a part of life enjoyed by everyone. Here its like.. sex is OK between married people and only in certain ways etc.
Totally! Bill Clinton said the same.
Also Tiger Woods. And Jesse James. And Ben Affleck. And the Kennedys…
But is it that sex is less serious for everyone? Or just for the men, who cheat because Its expected and they can get away with it?
SloaneY
The women cheat, too! In the UK, we really have no dating culture like you do in the US. People go about in groups of friends. Relationships very often develop only AFTER a first sexual encounter (whether full sex or not). And often break up when one partner gets fed up and cheats. There are quite a few one night stands – people got together but didn’t want to take it forward into a relationship. There really isn’t very much of a culture of platonic dating and seeing whether or not you’d want to extend that into a sexual relationship.
Sixer, there ain’t much platonic dating in North America either. (At least from what I hear. Having been married for a good long time, I am out of the dating game and luckily have been since before Tinder and the like.)
The “parallel dating” approach in the US was quite an eye opener for me, I have to admit I probably wouldn’t be able to do it.
Is it the same in the UK?
Haha @ vauvert! I fear Tinder may be changing the way Britons do sex also – but I join you in being too long in the tooth to be entirely sure!
EN – insofar as I know, the concept of parallel dating is completely unknown here.
I had to look up parallel dating because I had never heard of it. (It’s been awhile since I’ve dated!) basically it’s just what we used to call dating around or not being exclusive, right?
> basically it’s just what we used to call dating around or not being exclusive, right?
Yes, dating several people at once and not being exclusive. Apparently it is the thing these days because women don’t want to waste time on someone exclusively if it is not Mr. Right. And the men , too. Keeping their options open
I admit, it is a completely foreign concept to me. ))
She is so boring. And she is also stereotyping. Men in Europe are given far more sexual freedom than women. It is the same here in the US. Nudity is not sexual freedom. There is nothing wrong with nudity, but let’s not pretend that being naked is the same as being sexually free without condemnation. In Italy Berlusconi was having his “Bunga Bunga” parties while his people were condemning a a young woman for having sex with her new boyfriend. That is the same double standard that exists here.
She is right. Europeans go to sauna naked, and don’t think twice of it. Here in the US everyone covers up even in the same gender area. And it kind of defeats the purpose of sauna.
I would agree that European men are more aggressive, but on the other hand Europeans don’t have the same level of shame about their bodies, the way Americans do.
I lived in both places, and to me it is obvious.
this european is not comfortable with emily though.
I doubt this girl even likes sex. It’s just all she has going for her.
This girl even looks like a Kardashian. Fake everything. I don’t see her winning any Oscars in the future.
Europeans are more open sexually and comfortable with nudity? Thank you Captain Obvious!
Lol may be the caffeine but I read that in a very smart tune and made me laugh on this sh*t day. Thank you!
she’s form the UK? I don’t know that they’re anymore comfortable with the nekkie body than the US is. Maybe just her fam. I’ve lived in Germany and traveled all over, have to say that I don’t think their comfort level is any different than changing in the locker room or something. Besides at a beach or spa, I can’t think of any time it was super -ok- we’re naked now- type thing.
She’s so dumb, omg.
This post has me SERIOUSLY side eyeing the author’s motivation.
Ok, what saunas are people going to in the US?
Saunas in Big Las Vegas casinos are nude, saunas in Washington DC are filled with nudity, though same sex.
It happens in the US, too!
> Ok, what saunas are people going to in the US?
Saunas at the hotels,spas and fitness centers. Everybody is in swimming suits (weird). In some places people are wrapped into sheets, that is really progressive as far as the US goes.
I’m from Germany and I agree that nudity is no big deal. We go to mixed saunas, I take my son there too. People will casually change clothes by the pool and not bother with changing rooms. No one even looks twice.
But that has nothing to do with sexuality. Just with clothes.
I swear to god the bar is so low nowadays to seem like you’re making a smart comment. This has been said for years and years and some model chick says it and it’s newsworthy.
I’m originally from Croatia but grew up in the States and consider myself ‘americanized.’ I spent last year traveling all around Europe and it was the same as it is NYC or any larger city. Yes their media is more OK with nudity but people are generally the same as they are here. The comments most Europeans made I spoke with is how funny they found it we’re so anti-nudity but show people being shot in the face no problem,
When I was in a larger city like Paris, London, Berlin and people were much more relaxed but once I went to some smaller towns and villages indidiviuals were just as ‘prudish’ as we are here. I don’t know I’m judt bored with this whole ‘ohhh Europe, so sexually liberated and lalala’ thing… Hopefully that spiel made sense because I’m running on 0 cups coffee and am not at my A game. Haha.
You know what? I had my issues with this chick – she decries being sexualized, but got famous for showing her (admittedly spectacular) boobs, in a music video, no less; she looks like a wet rat when she’s dressed down; she seems quite smug for someone with limited fame, looks, and talent. But, she’s consistently railed against the sexism in Hollywood, and this quote is actually SPOT ON, and shows some depth, intelligence, and historical and/or sociological education.
“It’s more about the constant sexualizing [of] women without actually celebrating women.”
I think she makes sexists uncomfortable- she looks like a porno dream, but she’s very IDGAF, and she’s got a biting sense of humor and some self-awareness.
Good for her. I’m starting to really root for her….
I have to admit we Europeans are more open and more comfortablet about our bodyvor sexuality.
I remember when I moved to England and had a barbecue round our pool and I wor my tiny bikini other moms were really bitchy when their husbands ofling me….I didnt think it was a “thing”as in my contry everyone wears them and everyone is ok with it.No one is staring at you…However 10 years later im mentally more English than European I would be not comfortable with some young fit momma parading herself in tiny bikini around me ….Lol but I dont find it odd to be naked in front of my mom or topless on the beach (in Europe and not with English around as they really stare and comment about your goods lol) the Greek,Spanish or French are really coool with it and dont make any fuss about it.
Still as European I had those reminders of my ‘too free spirit’ like when I took my baby son for baby swimming lesson and wore nice bikini inatead of androgynous speed swimsuit -oh god the looks and faces of other mums made me really uncomfortable.Not that I wore anything like 10 years ago in mybprevious pos.Just ordinary black two piece bikini from M&S very modest model and still too much body showing