An incredibly emaciated Lindsay Lohan was on “Ellen” today. Most people come on the show to talk about an upcoming project or promote a good cause. Lindsay’s sole reason? To talk about her breakup with Samantha. The interview was actually really interesting because it seemed more like a therapy session, with Ellen as the therapist and Lindsay as the petulant teenager.

Ellen asked very insightful questions that were clearly meant to lead Lindsay to a logical, healthy conclusion. – though she didn’t always get there. It’s clear Ellen’s probably been in counseling herself which is why she’s so good at asking these sorts of questions. She gives Lindsay truly great advice that’s coming from a good place, but I doubt she’s going to take much of it.

Lohan blurts out a lot of things randomly, and has some wacked-out body language. When Ellen asks “What about the restraining order?” Lindsay starts giggling hysterically, which is an incredibly bizarre reaction. It made me uncomfortable to watch. She pulls it together after that, but continues to fidget and squirm throughout the interview.

Ellen suggests Lindsay get away from it all
We mentioned earlier that Ellen talks about her own bad public breakup (presumably with Anne Heche, though she doesn’t name her), and she says that she went to Utah and “literally hibernated” to get over it. Then Ellen asks Lindsay, “Do you feel like you want to run away?” She doesn’t all-out tell her to, but certainly suggests that it’d be a good idea.

At one point Lohan says “I’m doing a movie in October,” and she’s clearly lying. She touches her nose (which is a “tell”) and squirms a bit, and even her tone is disingenuous. Ellen brings up the Us Magazine interview, and Lindsay is evasive and confusing. She says she didn’t call them but that they were calling everyone she’s ever known. She implies that she gave them the interview due to pressure, though that doesn’t seem very believable. Lohan starts talking about her mom and the tabloids and says “They say horrible things about my mom and I have the most amazing mother… I love her so much. It hurts me when people say that about my mom.” It’s nice Lindsay loves her mom, but a huge part of the problem is that the tabloids say bad things about Dina Lohan for a reason, and Lindsay doesn’t see her faults. So she thinks Dina’s way of living in the world is totally normal, and she’s emulating it because that’s what life is to her.

Lindsay claims she’s lost jobs because of tabloid coverage
About her notoriety, Lohan says “I had an incredibly opportunity with an amazing actor and it’s been put on hold because of all this garbage that’s been coming out” and “I didn’t get in this business to be a celebrity on the cover of tabloids.” The logical response to this is to ask why she is continuing to only talk about her breakup if she wants to focus on her career instead? All she’s talking about is the drama in her life, while complaining that no one will hire her because of the drama in her life. If you can’t tone down the drama, and least shut up about it.

Ellen tells Lindsay not to go to clubs, she asks “should I not go grocery shopping either?”
Ellen also tells her not to go to clubs, asking, “Do you feel like every time you go to a club that’s a dangerous situation for you? Of course they’re going to find you at a club so maybe don’t go to clubs.” To which Lohan counters, “Well should I not go grocery shopping either because when I do they like follow me in the store and say I’m buying things that I’m not buying… if I go to a club that doesn’t mean that I’m drinking. That doesn’t mean that I’m like cheating on anyone or in a bathroom with someone… I’m going to sit with friends, listen to music because I love music. It’s not a bad thing.” So she completely misses Ellen’s point and the logical advice she’s giving her.

It really didn’t seem like Ellen was trying to get anything headline worthy out of Lindsay, but genuinely trying to help her. At times I felt moderately uncomfortable because it seemed like it really should have been a private conversation, not one taped in front of an audience or shown on television. Nothing made me think Lohan was being especially honest – in fact her fidgety body language said the opposite. But it was still intensely personal. The best advice Ellen gave Lohan was to get away. I think most people have said that. She needs to genuinely, honestly go away somewhere and do nothing of interest to the paparazzi. She needs to engage in some intensive therapy, and live a private life for a while. Then, after maturing and learning a lot, she should focus on rebooting her career.