In September, Amy Schumer got food poisoning while in Paris with boyfriend Ben Hanisch. Amy is the first person to ever get food poisoning. At least you would think so given how much attention she paid it. You may remember at the time she recorded almost the entire ordeal on social media. Fortunately, she left a few of the more graphic moments off Instagram. However, for reasons I cannot fathom, Amy decided to describe the vulgar events on Ellen DeGeneres’ show yesterday. Not only did she discuss it, she acted out her time in the restroom to make sure we fully understood. All of this was to let us know that she was sure Ben was going to dump her because of how disgusting she is.
Holding nothing back! Amy Schumer had Ellen DeGeneres in hysterics during an appearance.
The 35-year-old Trainwreck star recalled a horrific date she had with her boyfriend, Ben Hanisch, when they both caught “violent food poisoning,” and the details had the host almost crying with laughter.
Schumer told DeGeneres that she thought her relationship would be over during a Paris vacation in September.
What went down in their hotel room was far from romantic, and Schumer explained to DeGeneres in vivid detail how the vomiting and diarrhea “manifested itself.”
DeGeneres was shaking with laughter and at times wiped her eyes as she struggled to contain herself.“I was yelling to him, ‘It was so great dating you, I wish you the best luck, you’re gonna meet a great girl!’” she said of her shouts from the bathroom. “But I knew, I knew it was over. Who can get through that?”
“Machine gun fire” that’s how she referred to it in her reenactment. Oh my god – can I break up with Machine Gun Amy instead? If you want to see the clip, you can watch it here. When she gets to the part where she begins vomiting, she likens herself to the fountain from Friends, which I will now never be able to watch again. So.Klassy. Please note, Ellen didn’t ask about her food poisoning, she congratulated Amy on being in love ← that was the segue. Remind me to never congratulate Amy on anything ever. Ellen couldn’t get enough of the story. She laughed the whole way through. I guess Amy knows her audience?
Later in the interview, Ellen asked Amy about the online trolling she got after it was announced she might play Barbie. Shockingly, Amy made a few comments that I really liked. She said, “And what’s cool is, from being in the public eye for this long, is people – first of all, you build up a thicker skin from it and then you’re like, wait a minute, no. I look in the mirror, and I know who I am and I feel beautiful, and I feel strong and sexy.” This is how everyone should feel. She went on to say, “it really has to be about knowing who you are and everyday I look in the mirror and I’m like, ‘I can work with this, b—h’” Again, I agree with the sentiment. In this instance, I like the points she made and she was able to say that she is happy with herself without yelling at everyone for suggesting she’s a body positive model. Although, if I’m being honest, I have trouble finding anyone that acts out a scatological joke on air sexy.
Photo credit: Fame/Flynet Photos
If your partner would break up with you because of a case of food poisoning. Is that the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with?
I once had food poisoning in Paris and it ain’t pretty.
Yeah, that state shifts a person over to maximum-unattractiveness, regardless of how they cute they are on a good day.
No, but I may think about it because my partner creates high-octane drama out of thin air.
True story – I knew my husband was a keeper because the first time he said he loved me was when I was in the midst of a terrible bout of food poisoning.
That’s gross and romantic all at the same time. I love it!
She was exagerrating.
Did they just start dating at that point? I can see why she would think that if the relationship was fresh.
I just find her so insecure.
Totally. I used to think she was so funny but now I see so much insecurity.
She is. She preaches body confidence then threw a fit when a mag called her plus size by screaming about being a size 6 (which no).
And thick skin? Did she forget that she blocked a ton of people on twitter for that Lenny letter fiasco because she was searching through her tag on twitter?!
Ok Amy
There is nothing wrong with being insecure. But the way she reacts to it is so wrong.
I find her completely, utterly unsufferable and can’t wait for her to go away. How anyone can find her funny or clever is beyond me – she is worse than Handler and that’s saying something.
Ooooooh burn! Hahaha, that’s awesome!
Oh geez. This makes me think she hasn’t ever been in a real long term relationship before. Food poisoning/stomach flu goes with the territory: one of you is bound to get sick! It’s not anything special. My husband will still bring up the story of the first time I got sick and he held back my hair thinking I was so cute puking (weirdo). My point is that no will break up with you over getting sick, especially if they are already in to you.
This made me smile. Relationship goals: Gotta get me a weirdo man who thinks I’m cute while puking.
Silly Amy! Lying next to my sweetheart, both of us sicker than sick with food poisoning, was a back-handed gift – my MO up to that point when I was sick with anything was to want to crawl off by myself, but being sick next to him was oddly – and reassuringly – comfortable. #Stilltogether11yearslater
Is she friends with J. Lawrence? They seem to like the same brand of annoying “realness/cuteness”, I bet they would find each other hilarious. Also both are absolutely unaware to their own white privilege.
Yes they are friends.
I have noticed that many modern day feminist icon/ faves are into this gross sh*t . They overshare all this nasty stuff that most times isn’t funny, no one actually asked them to share and is majorly inappropriate as if they think by being gross they are being empowering (their favorite word). When in truth they just come off as disgusting pubescent boys. Which is already annoying in one that age but even worst in grown adults. But people keep treating them as if they are so brave, real ( who in the real world shares things like this with people that aren’t their closest friends/family?) and cute for this nonsense. I don’t get it.
Sarah Silverman specialized in jokes about how smelly her pussy was, how she’d fart during sex, etc.
Just because feminism means you can be as gross as guys are doesn’t mean you have to be.
I’m so sick of her.
I find it weird that a 35 year old is so insecure that she thinks a guy will dump her because of food poisoning and its effects. You can’t look pretty all the time and any guy who dumps you for getting sick is a jackass. This is the kind of mindset I would expect from a teen girl with no confidence in herself. Not an adult woman with a successful career.
I am hoping that this is just an angle for a funny story on Ellen because otherwise this is not a relationship that is going to last.
“I know who I am and I feel beautiful, and I feel strong and sexy.” I don’t believe that for a moment, I think she is incredibly insecure about her appearance and just an insecure person in general.
This seems like something a teenager would be concerned about, not a 35 year old woman. Adults realize that bodies sometimes get sick and everyone has been there where your body goes into “vomit and shit it allllll out in a matter of hours” mode. It’s hell. anybody who judges you in the throes of that doesn’t deserve to be your partner anyway.
I’m a private vomiter. Not really because I’m ashamed but because I just want to be left alone when I’m sick enough where it’s gotten to that point. She’s so dramatic, she probably makes a huge deal of it when she’s sick. I mean we basically know she does, we’ve seen her social media! Any excuse to beg for more attention I guess…
I’m pretty sure she didn’t really think he’d leave her. She was just trying to be funny. The effects of food poisoning are disturbingly gross. I got it in Mexico and fortunately my husband is a nurse and used to such disgusting sights so I knew he wasn’t going anywhere!
Last week Amy announced she was cancelling her Australia tour due to “illness”. Ironically my daughter saw her live show THE NIGHT BEFORE and she seemed fine. Just saying.
Beauty is as beauty does, Amy.
Am I terrible because I don’t think she’s right to play Barbie either?
First off, she’s a bit older and looks it. Second, she’s average in terms of her looks and body size. Amy is not going to rock the peaches and cream or crystal ball gowns.
Barbie doesn’t have to a white blond, but she’s got to be really pretty, regardless of size.
So Mattel is releasing a burping, farting Barbie?
She is a comedian. I think most of you have forgotten this b/c you all are so busy ripping her to shreds all the time. Food poisoning is awful and she was probably truly embarrassed what with her being in such a confined space with her boyfriend at the time. While you all are clutching your pearls in disgust, I got a good laugh out of her story. Lighten up, ladies. Your lives will be much happier if you did.