Two weeks ago, the Daily Mail and a few other British media outlets broke the story that Madonna was in Malawi and trying to adopt two more children. Madonna has already adopted two kids from Malawi – David Banda and Mercy. The news that she wanted to adopt two more kids was unsurprising, and yet some people didn’t believe it. Madonna’s team quickly worked to deny the story to various outlets but there was, in my mind, still a question mark. Turns out, Madonna really did make an application to the Malawi courts to adopt two kids. She has just adopted twin sisters.
Madonna has adopted twin girls from Malawi, according to government officials. The singer, who had previously denied she was visiting the country with a view to adopting more children, was given permission by the Malawian high court on Tuesday to adopt the four-year-olds Stella and Esther. Mlenga Mvula, a judicial spokesman, said: “I can confirm that Madonna has been granted an adoption order for two children.”
Madonna has previously adopted two children from Malawi, David Banda in 2006 and Mercy James in 2009. The twins are being adopted from the Home of Hope orphanage in Mchinji, near the western border with Zambia, where David Banda once lived. But many in Malawi have accused the government of giving the singer a special exception to laws that prevent non-residents from adopting children to take abroad. With Madonna and the girls’ birth father present in the courtroom in Lilongwe, a judge ruled in her favour. But the adoption is conditional on Madonna proving she will provide a suitable home.
Dominic Misomale, a government-appointed guardian, will travel with Madonna, Stella and Esther to the US and observe how she looks after them, before reporting back to the government.
Titus Mvalo, a lawyer for Madonna in Malawi, told Reuters: “Madonna has demonstrated over the years that she has passion for Malawi and her children, and therefore the court was satisfied and could not stop the adoption of the twins.”
Isn’t “Esther” Madonna’s own Hebrew/Kabbalah name? Yes, it is. More than a decade ago, Madonna announced that her new Hebrew name was Esther and she had converted to Judaism/Kabbalah, sort of. Incidentally, Madonna reportedly chose the name Esther because it’s the Hebrew word for star? You know what other name means star? Stella. So many coincidences! Anyway, 59-year-old Madonna is now mother to two four-year-old girls. Lord help us, lord help them and lord help Madonna. And lord help Lourdes too, because I suspect Lourdes is going to be called in help with the new kids, Duggar-sibling-style.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
I have so many mixed feelings about this…on one hand, she’s Madonna and likely has every resource at her disposal, and it seems as though Mercy and David are relatively out of the limelight. Also, shes done this before so likely knows what to expect and how to prepare appropriately. On the other hand, adoption is a very serious thing and those girls will need a ton of support. She’s madonna, so she’ll be touring and perhaps not always around….and while these girls will be thrust into unfathomable wealth and resources they’ll also be thrust into fame to some degree and I just wonder…at the end of the day, who is tucking them in? Who is drying their eyes when they miss their friends, their old way of life? I hope it’s madonna….but I know many people who have adopted children (not infants) and they struggle to keep routine, form attachments, maintain consistency….I truly hope madonna does that (and that she DID do that for her other two). Money isn’t everything, but a loving stable home is.
Madonna is by all accounts a hands on mother. Her son might even say too hands on (I disagree after the pics of him smoking pot while in his fathers care). She tours with her children and only leaves them behind when it cant be helped.
The one thing I will forever credit Madonna with is her sensitivity to her daughters hair care. That girl rocks corn rows exactly as she would were she living in Malawi. I cant emphasize how important that is. She isnt straighting her z type coils and she isnt acting as though corn rows degrade her status. I have some serious side eye for these other white mothers with black daughters or daughters of mixed race who are subtly messing with black girls concept of self by being oblivious to the politics of hair.
Agreed. Those kids will be fine. She seems like a good mother by all accounts.
Lourdes seems like she turned out like a good kid. Quiet, at least. No fame strutting which she could do. It also seems like it is easier to deal with her dad than Guy. Good for Madonna to take in more.
It’s really great that she’s helping children who need it, and providing them with access to a better life. I hope they adapt well.
But… I just can’t help but think about the fact that she’ll be 76 by their 21st birthday. Part of me feels like that’s irresponsible. But then again, men her age are getting women pregnant all the time. Anyway, I just hope the girls adjust to their new life without issue.
On the other hand, she could simply provide a number of Malawian foster carers, kinship carers or adopters with financial support. And help a considerably larger number of children.
Assuming helping is her prime motivation. Maybe she just wants to mother and chose a way to do it while helping.
She apparently has charities in Malawi too and I think they have to do with children.
I’m with you Sixer. I tend to err on the side of “this feels irresponsible and weird”
I honestly don’t really know much about her charitable activities, Slowsnow, so I’ll take your word for it and praise her for them. Genuinely.
That said, I’m not a fan of white saviour adoptions, whether it be the Jolie Pitts, Madonna. Emma Thompson or any other celebrity. Issues are structural and swooping in to “rescue” individual children just feels highly problematic to me, regardless of the quality of the home or parenting that’s being provided or the benign motives of the adopters. On that, I’m with Shambles.
Believe me @Sixer, I am no fan of Madonna and something in me itches and twitches and I see these celeb adoptions. There is also Bullock and Theron. Beautiful white, priviledged women with children that look the “poor and underpriviledged” part so that they can look good perhaps. I was just stating that Madonna seems to contribute quite a lot in Malawi and on a personal level wants to be a mum.
IF it’s a wise decision to “save” a kid from a poor background, leaving tons of others behind is a bit of a terrible conundrum isn’t it? Mothering is as much a matter of giving as it is of taking, selfish even in biological terms.
With all the money Madonna has, she cannot save the whole of a country’s infrastructure. It just takes the matter to another level. “Well, if she sorted out the foster care system, now she needs to move on from heathcare etc.”
That said, again, I do see yours and Shambles’ point. There could be something self-serving in all of this, for sure.
Slowsnow – yes. It’s not an easy issue. I really don’t doubt the good motives of any of the celebrity adopters. I just think that, in the end, it does more harm than good in a big picture sense because it diverts attention from the structural issues and the white saviour trope is ever present. Even though I am sure it is lovely for the individual children.
@Sixer
I do think that Madonna is more conscious of her daughters cultural needs in comparison to the other women you named (see my comment above). Sandra also gets a few points for recognising the need to provide a black sibling, because honestly life in rarefied society is going to be even more white and isolating than mainstream society. I am wholly unimpressed by Angelina and Charlize on both these issues.
With that said, I completely agree with you. Inter country adootions are vanity driven. For one thing, most kids who end up in children’s homes in poor countries are rarely devoid of all family. Even when both parents are gone, theres a loving extended family network that is severely constrained by resources. Those kids tend to spend their time in the institution almost as a boarding school, shuttling back and forth to relatives when they can afford it. In fact local adoptions often incorporate this family network with adoptive parents enabling contact. Just culturally, adoption doesnt work like it does here with that fierce possessiveness that makes adoptive parents reluctant to share. So the solution is not to rip them away from their family structure. The solution is to enable that structure with your millions.
In any case, there are many kids within the local system who dont have a chance at adoption because they are black or have a disability or are too old. These women need to start there (granted Sandra and Charlize adopted locally).
@Merry, I did not think of all the things you mention and you, as well as @Sixer and @Shambles have a point.
The ballerina Michaela de Prince’s case is interesting. She’s originaly an orphan (black) from Sierra Leone. Her parents are not celebrities though. She was in an orphanage (taken by her uncle, confirming what you said) and afterwords in a refugee camp. She was vilified because she has vitiligo (which is believed to be a mark of the devil or something of the kind there), a skin condition causing depigmentation and suffered truly horrendous ordeals. When arrived in the US, the first image she saw was that of a ballerina and wanted to become one. Long story short, she made it. I think she is dancing in London now. Her parents have quite a lot of adoptive kids so she is not alone.
It’s almost a case of helping out someone who did not have a chance where she was born and building up her confidence. Maybe they had trouble adopting in the US. Maybe their other kids were taken from the families, I don’t know. A friend of mine has just reconnected with her father in Korea, who had rejected her because her mum died at birth and was incredibly traumatised for having taken this decision in a moment of grief. She was adopted by a French family and she now says that she has 2 dads…
Life is hard and sometimes I find that our principles have to guide us but also allow for some manoeuvering. It’s good to have them but also to keep them in check.
Yah.. This High and low key Makes my *ss Itch for all the things mentioned… but sure, she’ll more than provide for those children sooooooo I… Guess
I might be considered one of those “savior” parents, Sixer, and I can tell you the view from inside our community is very different. Children need homes and families, and society has figured out a variety of admittedly imperfect ways to provide them with those homes and families. Is there sadness in this situation? Yes. Is there insecurity? Yes. Are children removed from their homelands and cultures, brought into environments in which they may be a minority? Yes. But they are alive and given resources to make lives, and given their prospects where they come from, that is a lot.
Shame on anyone who accuses any parent of being “vanity driven.” There are many biological parents who present their children as accessories or who are phoning in their roles — see Ivanka Trump, for a classic example of parenting-by-vanity.
Inter-country adoption is a difficult, slow and costly process and most parents are aware of the health and emotional needs of the children and do their best to support them. Well-known women grow their families in the same ways as less well-known women, but for some reason we attack their motives. To reach the top, they have postponed marriage and childrearing the same way many other professional women have, and adoption is a viable option.
The alternatives for most of these children are meagre indeed. We can’t assume that slipping the country some money will result in appropriate households or fostering (which is still impermanent). Until women have access to contraception; parents stop dying of AIDS and other dread diseases; alcoholism and drugs stop causing child abuse and neglect; and we stop creating homeless, family-less children, children will need homes that aren’t institutional. Institutional living causes even more damage, and if we waited for the perfect situation for them, they would suffer even more.
In the meantime, we have a growing number of families that in themselves feature beautiful diversity. We should support that. If we support diversity in the workplace, in our arts, in our culture, then we should recognize that families can include people from different places, and do our best to support these children who were brought halfway around the world — yes, to save their lives, but mostly to love them, encourage them and give them security. Adoptive parents who brag on themselves for what they did are extremely rare. Mostly, like any other parents, they brag about their kids.
“Inter country adootions are vanity driven. ”
I sure as hell hope you’re talking about celebrities only, because in a lot of countries it’s nearly impossible to adopt unless you go overseas.
There’s so much offensive BS about adoption. The assumption that they just want to look good is pretty unfair. As someone who was adopted I feel fairly well-equipped to say I find the term ‘adoptive child’ offensive. Not saying anyone used that term in this specific thread.
Yeah she’s old so just let them remain in the orphanage for the rest of their childhood.No parents are better than old parents.
#sarcasm
I tried to be really careful to phrase my comment in such a way that it didn’t read like what you just said, because that’s not what I mean at all.
But realistically, it’s something you have to think about, imo. She’ll be in her eighties by the time they’re in their mid-twenties. One, what if she’s unable to take care of herself by then? I know she has other children, but that’s a lot of responsibility to put on someone in their mid-twenties. Also, that’s still a time in life when you need some guidance. What if she’s not able to provide it?
For me it’s not as much a question of when she’s eighty actually. I see a lot of older(ish) parents who started having children in their forties (IVF and lots of luck) or by adopting. They have very little patience and energy for their kids if they turn out to be the energetic kind. My daughter baby-sat for one of my girlfriend’s son who is in this case and she told me that my friend, when she got home, started rambling about education, patience, this and that and asking herself if she had not made a mistake in having a son this late in her life. I was stupefied and a bit mortified for her. If she says that to a teen-ager, it must be out of exhaustion and anxiety.
That said, celebs have so much help that I tend to think that things will be fine for them.
@BJ We dont know if these kids are orphans and if not why they are in the system. Both Madonna and Angelina have had trouble iwhen biological parents point out that the child was only in the system because of the parents circumstances. In poor countries, parents will place the child iin the system because they are unable to provide and work with a view to get them back. Even where the child really is an orphan, there also often an extended family that really just needs a hand. Family units are more close knit there. True love would be to enable the childs existing system within his home country not to drag him across the world to be your mascot.
@Shambles To be fair, Madonna is very energetic. She is also extremely wealthy and therefore able to bring in physical help. If Alec Baldwin who is the same age and overweight can have three consecutive babies without so much as a raised eye brow here, I dont see why age is a problem for her. No offence but your comment sounds like its just regurgitating societal expectations for older women.
@Merry,
I think everything that Shambles has said has been well-reasoned. The reality of the situation for older men like Baldwin is that they are often procreating with younger women and are wealthy. In other words, if they do pass, the child,hopefully, has a living parent and vast resources. Madonna’s latest adoptees will have vast resources and, hopefully, a loving extended family to guide them if she passes (very likely) while they are young women. Nothing does take the place of a parent tho, I have lost both of mine by my early forties. Even with a huge extended family, I still mourn them and cannot imagine having lost them much younger.
Just a point of view.
My mother will be 78 this year and has my 24 year old sister (who was incidentally adopted at age 3 mos. from outside the country). My sister is a pro soccer player who decided to set down roots in San Francisco and get a regular job. My mother took her last weekend to buy a professional wardrobe and helped her move all her stuff up north. My mother keeps a house and cooks 3 meals a day for her husband and when I spend time with her on weekends, she does the same things I do. She runs several businesses from home and still dreams of greater things. She is also a healer. Some 78 year olds do more than some 50 year olds. My sister has half a dozen siblings as a support system when our mother is no longer here.
Great post, Anna =).
@Anna
Your mum sounds absolutely badass.
yasss!
My mom is 83 and also totally badass. Still drives the highway in Chicago (has better vision than I do), does her own gardening, only calls the neighbor boy to mow her lawn if it’s too hot, and repainted the outside of her house a couple of years ago. She complains that she’s “slowing down” because she gets tired of yardwork at 3 in the afternoon when she starts at 6 AM.
I don’t have my mom’s energy level, but I had my son when I was 39 — and I very quickly became aware that I was usually running around at the park playing soccer with my kid or on the monkey bars with him a whole lot more than most of the moms half my age — many of whom were glued to their phones.
I think most of the frustration of parenting has to do with expectations. I had spent a lot of time around babies and little kids before I had my own. I wasn’t surprised by the amount of energy I needed. Most of the people I know who struggle, of any age, are people who had limited experience with kids before starting a family. They don’t have realistic expectations of the amount of work, energy, and worry involved with kids. Or, how it it going to turn their previous life upside-down.
@Anna amazing 🙂 What an inspirational mom 🙂
I hear you on the age thing, but we can die prematurely and leave behind our children at any age. If Madonna’s heart is actually in the right place and these kids will be happy and healthy with her, then that’s a beautiful thing. Both of Madonna’s adopted children seem very happy.
Thanks for pointing this out.
Well as long as she can offer them a better life. Funny now all the ‘divas’ have twins Celine,Mariah, Jlo,Beyonce etc
i think all of the ones who have given birth to twins did so through invitro
The older the woman the higher the likelihood of fraternal twins because the ovaries are more likely to release two instead of one egg. All of these women were 35 and over, so it may not be an IVF situation. Not that it matters!
Ricky Martin
Those lovely girls seem way too tall to be only four years old!
I think that shot is of David & Mercy. Hopefully she will keep the wee ones out of camera range until they’ve have a chance to get used to their new surroundings.
Yeah…those are not the twins, and one of them is a boy David and Mercy is the girl…
D’oh! I should’ve caught that.
madonna always strikes me as a very sad and desperate woman. to me, adopting two more children just seems like an attempt to fill whatever hole in her heart that shes got right now.
Or maybe she just likes raising kids and had a good experience with the previous adoptions.
Wonderful that kids may have a better life but I tend to think “designer families” a bit. I always get that niggly feeling – what is the real motive. I may of course be doing her an injustice.
You’re not alone on that one. But we can’t be blamed, it’s universally known that midia’s world is a circus full of egomaniac clowns. If we just refuse to spread things we’re not sure about, we’re doing our part well.
I haven’t decided whether I’m going to co-sign the adoptions or concern troll. She’s a pretty great mom from what I’ve read so what’s the big deal? Then again, Madge does everything for a reason so…*shrug*
Adopt. Love unconditionally. Support and nurture. I will love you no matter what.
I hate to be this person but how come celebrities never adopt american children? Is it for the visual of helping poor Africans? Cynicism aside I’m always happy when children in need are adopted into a loving home.
uhmm… they do also adopt American children. Here we do: Sandra Bullock, Charlize Theron, Mariska Hargitay, Viola Davis, Kristin Davis, Joely Fisher, Kate Blanchet, Steven Spielberg, Cheryl Crow, Ron Livingston, Ty Burrell etc etc.
Thanks. Some of these I didn’t know
It’s the question I’m most asked (my daughter is from China). My response, when someone asks why I haven’t adopted domestically is 1.) None of your business. 2.) How many of the “so many children here” have YOU adopted?
The very simple answer is that adoption laws in the United States are not easy or consistent. My perception is that celebrities have an easier time adopting from wherever they choose.
@Donna, I’m not American so I wouldn’t know about adoption processes there. There is no need to get offended. I just wondered. I just don’t trust celebrity motives that’s all. Either way I’m happy that the children got a good home.
ElleBee, I’ve heard that the process of adopting American children is much harder and that this is often why parents choose to adopt from other countries. A family friend went through the agonizing ordeal of falling in love with who they thought would be their baby, only for the mother to back out on them. They were devastated. It took many years of waiting for them to adopt an American child. They now have a beautiful little girl and are incredibly happy. It can be very hard.
because adopting american children is challenging. my two aunts (adopted overseas back in the 70’s) and a couple we know (have been in the process for 5 years) who are like family to us have tried to adopt domestically and the barriers are unfathomable.
They’re unfathomable if you want a white, healthy child.
1. my friends have no racial preference and are willing to accept a child with disabilities, including down’s syndrome but since they don’t want open adoption – can’t get a baby. 2. my aunt who ended up adopting two decidedly non-white children from korea – one who has a rare genetic disease that they didn’t know about until they got to korea to pick the children up and were offered a different healthy baby instead but took the sick baby anyhow (who with american medicine has lived into her 30’s) – because adoption domestically was too difficult in their state after years of miscarriages and failed adoption attempts 3. my other aunt, who also had severe fertility issues, who thought they would receive a child from two different birth mothers in the US who did not follow through with adoption after birth and it was too heartbreaking to continue so they fostered children for years and never adopted or 4. my husband’s white aunt and uncle who despite having children of their own, took in 3 black children from the school where she taught and had to foster them for 7 years until she could legally adopt because the birth mother kept taking it to court but after a few weeks would lose them again. it was harrowing for their family and the children but the law is very strongly on the side of birth parents.
i didn’t say it couldn’t be done but i said the barriers put in place are unfathomable and they are. thanks for your input though.
Your points are taken but I’ve seen the other side of your argument because I live in Bronx County, NY.
It’s challenging because the US has the resources and wealth to recognised that closed adoption and the complete severance of familial ties is very often very problematic. Overseas adoptions don’t have these “barriers”
People who adopt from outside the USA are entitled to make their choices the same way people who procreate are entitled to make their choices.
As for the closed-vs-open situation, some inter-country adoptive parents are keenly aware that their biological children have no information about their biological parents, and it’s a serious downside in terms of medical care and a general sense of connectedness. So that’s a mixed bag.
Adoption is imperfect but then so is child-rearing generally. It’s hard to see people poke holes in it for not being perfect. It shouldn’t have to be perfect. It just has to give children loving homes.
Erin Lee Daniels — go Bronx!
I haven’t seen photos of David or Mercy in a long time, they look so grown. And happy. Nice to see. I have the same concerns about Madonna’s age but hopefully they girls will be close with their older siblings.
Not that I expect her to dress matronly but Madonna’s “street style” is kinda ridiculous. She should take some cues from her kids!
Madonna might be…well Madonna.
But I like the fact that she is one of the few star who really values the education of her children, and except with the mess with Rocco, all her kids seem ok. Even Guy Ritchie admitted she is a good mum…and that girl is a cutie !
That’s all I have to say.
Sorry but I still side-eye that time when she got massively called out for using the n-word in an Instagram post so she procedeed to show up with David Banda as +1 at an award show (which she had never done before).
Also weren’t there issues with what her foundation was doing in Malawi?
As long as she is not asking anyone else to take care of them. People shouldn’t be getting all upset. Adoption is a good thing.
They are four years old and she is changing their names.
They have names already.
Identify crisis?
Where does it say she changed their names? People claimed she changed David’s name too until someone interviewed his father who also is named David.She didn’t change Mercy’s name.
It would be odd at this point if she named one Esther after herself but not when she adopted Mercy.
Their biological father is still around?
The Daily Fail reported the birth father of the twins was in court yesterday.
Her older adoptive children have living family members as well.
The situation in Malawi is so bad that many parents send their kids to orphanages. There they get food and cloths. The parents often visit and stay in contact with the kids, hoping for better times and a family reunion one day… but when white saviours adopt them this will never happen 🙁
I have so much love for everyone there who supports these poor families instead of adopting away their children.
And many don’t stay in contact with the kids in the orphanage.
Her kids are kept out of the limelight, for the most part, until they are older and can handle it. She only tours every four years or so. The kids go with her. Other than that, they live in NYC and go to school. Madonna’s dad is still alive. So Madonna should have a long life. The children’s new home will have two black siblings,, David and Mercy, and a mother who has diversity in her life. So at least it’s not like well-meaning Christians who go over there and adopt and bring the child back, plopping them into a mostly white world in their small town.
Madonna has adopted twice before. She understands the sensitive time as the children are adjusting.
I like the photo of Lola with her arms around the twins six months ago when they visited the orphanage and Malawi. So the adoption has probably been in the works for a while.
I’m fascinated by the various convos here so I’m going to add my thoughts:
1. Having children (bio or not) is self serving in general- the want to take care of someone, have a piece of you continue on, avoid being lonely. Parenthood isn’t for altruistic reasons no matter what people want to say.
2. The foster care system is a mess. People (celebrities or not) adopt abroad because in a lot of countries (not all) it’s simply easier and cheaper. The United States needs to greatly improve their foster care and adoption system.
3. I used to side eye cross cultural adoptions because they aren’t equal opportunity. Unfortunately the fact of the matter is that there are simply more children of color to adopt than there are parents of color to adopt them. And I would rather these children grow up in loving homes than in the system. Cause that system doesn’t work. In a perfect world these adoptive mothers would do their best to learn and understand their child’s culture so that they can help instill that love of self. In addition, it would also be nice if they didn’t raise these children of color in a lily white world- because these kids will struggle with issues of esteem. However, even if those conditions can’t be met but they are loved and cared for, I’m for it.
4. A lot of people on this site are super judgy to the point where it’s just getting ridiculous. Unless you’re out there adopting, don’t side eye other people’s motivations. They are doing something positive for these children. When I see Mariska Hargitay with her black daughter that little girl looks completely loved. So in my mind, it’s all good. And everyone is welcome to their own opinion of course. I can only control my actions, which will be to read the posts but not the comments. That’s already what I do with dlisted- the commenters there have just become mean- which I think some of them mistake for “edgy” or “witty”.
Spot on.
I don’t comment or check this site as often as I used to. Between politics and super judginess it has become less welcoming.
Btw, your post was very good. I agree with it. Thanks for taking the time.
Thank you. Some of the commentary when people adopt children- especially if they’re of another race- can be pretty nasty, Chelsea Handler-ish, sometimes straight up racist (especially on certain sites) The ‘You’re not the same race as the lady who adopted you, therefore you must just be a ‘prop’ to make her look a certain way’ trope is gross and popular. Children shouldn’t be used as weapons against people just because we dislike them and only want to see them in a one-dimensional, negative way.
Thanks Christina. As a mother by adoption, I really appreciate your support and common sense. Sometimes – not all the times – but sometimes, there’s some veiled racism when children don’t “match” parents. We have to get away from these antiquated cookie-cutter ideas about family, and embrace families with adoption, blended families, same sex parents. If it’s a global world, inter-country adoption reflects that. Is it perfect? Of course not. Are biologically created families perfect? Nope!
Sorry, but the first thought that popped into my mind was: Madonna is adopting children young enough to be her grandchildren. Does she think having very young kids will make her look younger? I don’t know her personally, and I don’t really care what she does, just saying those are the first thoughts this news provoked.
IT is also possible that she chose children considered “older” in the adoption world because she knows she is too old to raise infants. As well, there are often rules, ratios for the age of parent to the age of the child.
Those photos! She’s reminding me more and more of Edina Monsoon from AbFab. Desperate to seem young and hip, she bought disfiguring beauty procedures and a risible wardrobe. Wonder if Lourdes views her mother like Edina’s daughter did?
What is up with the negative tones about this adoption? Would you all rather these girls live in an orphanage than with Madonna? The people on here who judge are probably people who have never set foot in a orphanage or experienced foster care. I’m glad that these girls will at least have a chance to be properly educated and safe- regardless of where they were born.
My husband and I are white Americans, with bio kids, but I’ve always, always wanted to adopt from Haiti. The earthquake, the ramifications they’re still living with and recovering from, the poverty, it all makes my heart bleed. Maybe they (Madonna and other “beautiful white women” ) just have a heart to want to help a child without parents? What if they don’t care about race like so many other judgy people do? There aren’t scores of wealthy potential parents lining up at doors of Haitian (or other countries) orphanages, not enough to adopt all of them in country. I know someone with the purist heart that has adopted SEVEN children from overseas, children of a different race. And she loves them so so much. Who the heck cares what race a loving parent is?!
And yes, I’d go through a domestic adoption in a New York minute, but I can’t afford it. And I could care less what shade of brown child baby is.
You have the privilege of not caring about race, a child you adopt will not.
Gin, I understand your point, but that child will have even more to deal with if they linger in foster care for years or a group home and will still have to deal with racial issues on top of that. I’m the adoptive parent of an older black child (adopted at 9, now 33) and I can assure you, there was no one lined up behind us to adopt him. Babies are what most people wanted in 1992. To be specific, light skinned babies, even if they were not light-skinned themselves (yes, some of the adoptive parents rejected kids for being “too black”). At that time, all black children over the age of one were considered “special needs adoptions” solely because they were “too old” by being over age 1. White children in the same county were designated “special needs” at age 7 for being “too old.”
I have always, always understood the preference for children to be placed with parents of the same race and preferably same cultural background. We spent years going out with our son, being confronted by many people as to “what we were doing with him?”. The first year I patiently tried to explain the unusual circumstances that led to him living with us. After that I got so tired of people’s theories that I started asking “have you adopted? are you interested? there are currently 467 children desperate for families at the county offices. Please go adopt one and call me in a year.”
By the way, I had never planned to have children. We stepped up when this particular family imploded. I have always been glad we had my son (and his sister, she died of AIDS at age 10) but there was no “heroism” in it. Just kids in a very, very bad situation. And lots of theories, but no one with a plan. I will always take action over theories.
She’s going to give those children every opportunity. When they’re older perhaps they will go back to their birth place and help other orphans.
wish the hubby & I could afford adoption and/IVF. :'(
Good luck to you and your husband in your family planning.
I don’t know why she bothers denying it; she’s well-known to be a liar, so who even believed her at this point?
Also, just because some of us are skeptical of her motives and/or other celebrities’ motives doesn’t automatically mean we’d all rather these children remain in poverty. We are just opining because celebrities have a high percentage of narcissists (although I wouldn’t include Mariska Hargitay in that group, and probably not Sandra Bullock). There is also a very valid concern that these children could be abused if they’re mostly being cared for by strangers while their mothers are working. I hope not, but it is always a possibility.
Given that parents are fully capable of abusing their own children and are the source of most child abuse and neglect, we needn’t worry so much about caregivers – who by the way are not usually “strangers,” but family members, neighbours or professionals.
Children by adoption are at no greater risk of abuse than children by birth.
Are celebrities narcissists? I don’t know, but narcissism seems to be an equal-opportunity disorder because we’ve all run into our share of self-centered doctors, teachers, lawyers and sales clerks.
Children would consider professionals “strangers” at first, as they are likely not related to the adoptive parent.
I still feel celebrities are more prone to narcissism, whether they started out that way, or became warped from the way people react to them. And Corey Feldman has confirmed that pedophilia is a large problem in Hollywood. (Yes, I know he was referring to child actors.)
I’m not talking about your average non-celebrity person who adopts and has some people help out with caregiving.
Ok call me crazy but wasn’t there A LOT of drama around Mercy’s adoption and her biological family? I just feel like it comes off a bit baby collect-y…
Also, Madonna’s drama with her older son makes me think she probably shouldn’t be adding more children into the mix until that gets settled (unless it was but even then)
Hopeful Esther and Stella have a wonderful upbringing and bond closely with David and Mercy
I applaud anyone who takes care of children who aren’t biologically their own.
As far as making sure these kids are connected to their culture Madonna doesn’t have a problem with that neither does Angelina. Angelina has always said she makes sure her kids are aware of where they came from and they visited their individual homelands throughout the years.