I’m already looking to give JoyTay’s relationship a name. We don’t even have official pap-stroll photos of Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn (yet) and they’re already exhausting me. Someone (WHO?) keeps sending out unnamed sources to spread the word about how Tay is now obsessed with privacy, especially after the Glorious Tiddlebanging of 2016 blew up in her face. Every other word in these JoeTay stories is “private” and “secret.” So let’s give this relationship a name: Taylor has moved from The Glorious Tiddlebanging to The Super-Private JoeTaying of Secrets. So what’s new with The Super-Private JoeTaying of Secrets? Even though they are private and secretive, someone wants you to know that Taylor’s squad already knows all about JoeTay. SO SECRET. Much private.
Taylor Swift is taking her relationship with Joe Alwyn to the next level. An insider tells E! News exclusively the pop star and British actor are officially “exclusive,” less than a month after news surfaced of their blossoming romance. The couple has spent time in Joe’s native England as well as Taylor’s Nashville hometown, and were most recently spotted in New York City driving in a chauffeured car with her bodyguards. But despite the Swiftie fandom being kept mostly in the dark on the Grammy winner’s new man, her A-list squad is most definitely in the know.
“This isn’t a new couple alert or a secret relationship,” a second source close to Taylor and Joe shares. “The only people this has been a secret to is the media because all of us—Taylor and Joe’s closest friends and their families—were aware they have been together for several months and have known each other for a long time.”
So which members of Swift’s inner circle have had the pleasure of meeting Joe? Well for starters, we’re told both Selena Gomez and Gigi Hadid, as well as other “close friends,” have spent time getting to know the 26-year-old Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk star. The source explains that T. Swift and SelGo talk “all the time” via phone and text about “what’s going on in [Swift’s] life.”
“They both seem to be pretty similar to their approach on their relationships this time around,” the insider continues, referring to Selena’s relationship with The Weeknd. And speaking of Taylor, 27, keeping her personal life extremely under wraps after the fallout from dating Tom Hiddleston and Calvin Harris, our source says her doing so is not unintentional by any means.
The insider shares, “[Swift and Alwyn] are still in the beginning stages with learning about each other as she is trying to take this relationship slower than the past ones. She got buried in media being on top of her life during the last relationship, so she tried everything in her power to not have that happen again,” a third source previously told E! News. “She worked very closely with her security team and management to make sure her life going forward was private. ”
The source added, “She doesn’t want the photos, the hysteria, the speculation. When she’s ready, she’ll talk about it. Don’t expect this to play out like her other relationships.”
IT IS SO SECRET. She is truly obsessed with her privacy, you guys. That’s why we’re getting daily updates on the exclusivity of their relationship, how he’s met her squad and what her media strategy will be going forward. SO PRIVATE. I always find it to be a great hallmark of a super-secret (AND PRIVATE) relationship for one of the people in the relationship outlines their media strategy to the press.
Also: is this a real sentence? “She got buried in media being on top of her life during the last relationship, so she tried everything in her power to not have that happen again.” What is on top of her life? The media? Or was Taylor on top of her life? Is there an easier way to say that?? I think the “source” was trying to say that the media hype surrounding The Glorious Tiddlebanging made her feel like she was being “buried” in gossip. To which I say… wasn’t that the f–king point of The Glorious Tiddlebanging? It was one of the stupidest deflections in the history of stupid deflections. She wanted the press to focus on something else besides the receipts, so she gave us Tiddlebanging In Rhode Island.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Already tired of reading about it
Same.
Also with all of her SUPERDUPERPRIVATETRUELOVE relationships I start to believe that Taylor might actually be gay or ace — and either (a) in denial to herself or (b) bullshitting us. All of her relationships just seem so fake and pretentious/immature.
I think she’s overestimating the public’ interest in her romantic life with someone no one here knows.
(But weren’t the receipts shown after the whirlwind of last summer? Or am I thinking of the wrong receipts?)
Yes, and no.
She’s probably got a couple break-up songs written already. Wash-rinse and repeat.
I love you, Kaiser.
This girl’s shelf life has expired.
She really is an attention-seeking asshole.
Can we use Twyn as their official fauxmance name? They really look like they came out of the same womb.
Well done!
I like this name.
Also is it me or is their story not straight? They’ve known each other a long time, but a “source” said they met in October/November, and of course she then proceeded to rent a place and spend a bunch of time in London after meeting him. They’re in the beginning stages of the relationship, but are now exclusive, but have been together for months and have already met each other’s family and friends prior to this “big reveal”
She is so exhausting and I’m already over reading about this.
Right…I especially love the details of meeting at a Kings of Leon concert. That’s just so her, all starry-eyed romance with Sex On Fire thumping alluringly in the background. I think her people just fauxmanced it, ever so predictably, and then came up with a backstory of meeting through her friends who would have zero reason (that I can think of at any rate) to have known him to begin with.
I feel like the narrative keeps changing since the beginning because she started seeing this guy more or less as soon as she dumped ol hiddles. They are trying to keep it from looking like she jumped straight from hiddles to this guy like she did with Calvin and hiddles.
lol on ONTD someone did a face swap, you barely notice it.
Taylor generally seems to be attracted to people who look like her. Thats the one reason I kind of believed the Karlie rumours, simply because Taylor would totally want to do herself.
so astute!
Made me think of Tiwyn Lannister (because of how calculating she can be), then you mentioned twins and it made me think of Cersei and Jamie.
Lord.
They are in Nashville now, when pap took a photo on her penthouse
Saw that
While I definitely think Taylor is leaking stuff to the press, wasn’t E! pretty harsh on her in the Tiddles period? I suspect they are just copying other tabloids and they don’t have an actual source.
You think someone would step in and tell her dating another bland British boy and leaking sh*t to the press is a bad move. While there are definitely double standards in the way female and male celebs are treated for dating, the fact that she’s obviously leaking some info makes me lose a lot of sympathy. It’s strange that someone who is usually so savvy doesn’t see that this was the time to do an image reinvention or go back to her old country-pop roots instead of continuing on this pop star/bland Brit boy path.
Bless her heart.
Why would there be “hysteria”? Nobody heard of him before these stories. If she didn’t strut each beardy boyfriend systematically in front of the press there would be very little interest, except from her stalkery stans. The interest in her and Hiddleston was simply because of the cheesy, nauseating nature they went about it.
It is so tiresome to expect the same act from Taylor Swift over and over again. She must think the media and us are interested in who her new boyfriend is and if she is going to write a breakup song about him…..so boring. I truly wished she just focused on her music which is undeniably good and keep her personal life private.
But many of her best songs ARE about her private life. She would not have as large a fanbase or be as famous without her blind-item songs based on her private life.
Sure most adults or Moms who think her songs are innocent for their pre-teens don’t get it. But her pre-teen and teen fans know EXACTLY which boy or pap pic corresponds to lyrics in her song. She literally spells it out for them. They always feel connected to her because she invites them into her private life. That is what sets her apart from every other artists and pays for those private planes and high heels. She just makes sure the songs are also catchy.
Wait – does she still have pre-teen and teen fans? Haven’t the pre-teens migrated over to the still-young Ariana Grande? Haven’t her teen fans aged out and are listening to Drake and the Weeknd’s heavy breathing?
Taytay is a bit long in the tooth for teenie fans, and she’s not Katy Perry. I guess all this SUPERSEKRITLOVEPRIVACY thing is meant to drum up interest again, but she’s so boring, as is her fake SUPERSEKRITLOVEMAN. I’ve always found her pre-packaged, shallow and thin-of-voice (and don’t get me started on her “confessional” songs which are all written by Max Martin), and I knew she’d have no longevity whatsoever. Now she’s resorting to the most obvious of PR ploys to stay “fresh.” Uh-huh.
Yeah, anyone spending THIS much time telling everyone that they want to keep something under wraps and be totally private is hoping for the exact opposite. She likes to pretend that she’s on some elevated level from the Kardashians but she employs all the same tricks. At least they’re up front about being attention whores.
All she’s really doing is setting up her next victim status/end of the relationship excuse – “I wanted this one to work SO much, but I’m SO famous and the press follows me around ALL the time that we couldn’t get any privacy and like, he couldn’t deal with MY fame and left and it’s so haaaaaard and people are so mean, will I ever find happiness??? Oh, and here’s an new album full of songs about this very private thing that happened and how none of it is my fault”.
lol okay. Still not buying the narrative you’re selling girl. But go ahead with this super PRIVATE relationship.
If you have to tell the tabs you’re super private about your personal life and then do pap walks in the same minute it defeats the purpose. Can’t stand celebs that do this
“It was one of the stupidest deflections in the history of stupid deflections” Bingo. It backfired. I am sure the Kanye saga would have done less damage to her.
TayJoe. Like ‘Tato.
Basic name for this basic relationship.
👏👏👏
The name I’ve seen suggested is TOE 😂
‘Tato that’s brilliant! Wish we could run with that though I also like Twyn as someone suggested above (can’t check the name on this old phone).
I like TayO like mayo, as in mayonnaise. Basic, vanilla (color and consistency), just like our Taylor and this bland “relationship” she is trying so hard to to inform us is oh so “private.” We will never forget IheartTS! Never!
Sorry Taylor, but being famous makes you lose your privacy. Everyone knows who you are and fans want to know everything about you. If both of you are famous (I don’t know who that guy is), fans will be more interested. Too bad
I mean, a lot of famous people are able to maintain some semblance of privacy. Taylor DOESN’T WANT privacy hence the fact that she and her team have released five separate stories this week saying “omg give them privacy” while making sure photogs snap a picture of them together a day.
Taylor’s idea of heaven would be standing in front of a million cameras taking her picture and screaming her name forever, When she loses her fame, and it will happen as she ages, it’s going to crush her like it has with Madonna. She needs attention and without it she’ll wither away.
Yes – I can vividly see that image in my mind, Norma Desmond reincarnated!
“She doesn’t want the photos, the hysteria, the speculation. When she’s ready, she’ll talk about it. Don’t expect this to play out like her other relationships.”
Because last time she did that, she made herself and Tom H. look pretty dumb. So, this time she’s trying something else to see if it makes her look cool again. But she DEFINITELY WANTS you to know she’s with this new guy no one’s ever heard of, but, like, don’t talk about it all the time, okay?
I had almost forgotten about her and didn’t miss not seeing her at all.. NOW She’s back; and with a new romance. The more things change the more they stay the same.
I like her turquoise shoes. Beyond that, nothingburger.
I don’t think E News is getting their stuff from her team. They are probably rehearsing what other outlets have said.
After everything eNews said about her during the Kimye drama last summer, and considering how petty Taylor is , there’s no way she has chosen E News to release info
Can’t wait for July 4th and the wet t-shirts.
LOL I wonder if she’ll hire a professional photographer again. Will Ryan Reynolds attend?
I’ll bet she’ll do July 4 differently this year. No t-shirts -cause OBVIOUSLY that was famewh*re Hiddleston’s idea – not super private Taylor’s. She WARNED him about that sort of thing, but he would not listen! Poor little TayTay. She will be “low-key” this year for sure.
Won’t someone save Ryan Reynolds?
Although granted, that “Help Me” face he pulled was probably the most relevant thing he’s done in an entire year.
Is thqt her petty way of keeping up the beef with Katy Perry or be in the next when her ex released an album, but really, why the story every other day if you are oh so private.
Ok the SelGo and JoeTay nicknames are getting really childish and ridiculous. Can we all use our big-girl names now?
I’ve walked by her NY apt a million times and never seen a pap. For someone dying for privacy, she sure makes sure a pap is there to take a pic every time she leaves the house. Every time I’ve seen paps in NY, the celebrity has OBVIOUSLY been in on it. I have seen the Kardashians arrange for a group of paps to be outside of a restaurant. There were ropes set up, the paps were lined up on either side of the ropes, tent minutes later an SUV pulled up, they all got out, walked past the paps and then everyone quickly dispersed. Last week on my block, I saw an actress walking down the street with her daughter, smelling flowers and posing for a pap. It was ridiculous.
who was the actress?
Katy Holmes? (I’m just guessing)
Yeah it seems like the only famous people on this Earth who couldn’t get away from the paps were Princess Diana and Michael Jackson. Or Britney Spears in her prime.
Taylor’s body looks insane in that top pic, legs for days! But seriously though, her hair looks like a helmet.. She’s one of the richest women on the planet, why is her hair always SO BAD?!?!?!?!
@The New Classic – yes, I was admiring that picture too – her legs are amazing! As a short, stocky person, I admit to having some leg envy going on. If I had her legs, I’d probably never cover them up, LOL!
She has now been papped with this dude twice in three days – the most recent involving them sitting on a balcony and staring into the camera lens but she’s insisting the photos look ~blurry so as not to make them look too staged.
Girlfriend is trying to get married to someone, I feel it in my bones. She won’t be the perfect princess with the perfect fairy tale ending until she gets the ring. And then all the other stupid boys who broke her heart will cry, and she will live happily ever after.
Ah, but Shambles, she gets all her material from the endless break-ups. I wonder if she wants to trade the boy-done-me-wrong fake empowerment songs for a ring from someone nobody knows. Hmmm. She’s so exhausting.
Taylor, you are nearing 30 for Chrissakes.
Forget the long halftime walk Joe. (How is this a good title for a movie?!) Run Joe, run.
The only reason I know about this relationship is because I read it on this website. I think the Taylor negativity on here is getting kinda old. Maybe it’s time to move on?
except this relationship is all over the news and pushed out on gossip sites by her team. Oops.
Well it’s obvious she wants this story out there but at the same time she wants to control the narrative to her favor.
Let me tell you this; I live in a small town where you can’t really hide forever and I work in a very closed and controlled environment where there are always eyes watching you AND I still managed to date a guy from work for 2 years without anybody knowing about it. We are being super secretive because I am 8 years older and I don’t really see a future for us where we live (it was a bad judgment from my side or lust if you want to call it that) and I loathe to discuss my private life with everybody I know or know me because sure as hell they would have a field day. I am sure nobody knows because I have cofe with him and other people all the time and I joke a lot around them so I deflect the doubts they might have by pretending to be just friends with him. So far no talks about us.
I am telling this story to point out that IF she really wanted to keep it a secret for reals she could have. I saw the photos from the balcony and she played the part well but the guy was looking straight at the cameras in plenty of the photos. They were staged and she wanted them out there.
I’ve known two couples where the woman was 7 years the man’s senior and they both (all four?) stayed married for over 20 years. One couple is still going strong; the other ended when the young man (by then in his 60’s) died. So if it’s just the age difference that worries you, maybe the relationship isn’t bad judgement on your part. Just saying…
LOL, k girl then maybe stop leaking sweet sweet todbits to the press about it then, We Dont Care and is patently clear your team is the one on the drip drip
I googled him and my takeaway on this is, he’s 26?? My god, I’m old. He looks like he should be in high school to me.
I have a question to the Americans because she seems to be America’s sweetheart. Hopefully someone can help me out. Why is this girl a role model to little girls? I know there is a double standard when it comes to dating. We pat guys on the back and call them great while we slut shame women but how the eff do I explain to my ten years old daughter that it is great to date every British guy and replace a boyfriend every 3 months? And introduce everyone as the love of her life while playing the victim after a break up? How can I explain that jumping around the world and almost stalking the guys is okay? I get it, people can say that she works hard but she has a rich family who opened her doors. If you were someone who had to work from rock bottom up to the peak with shady jobs, I could say: see, if you want something very bad and you work hard, you will succeed. How the eff should I explain how her squad just seems fake? Don’t get me wrong, she is young and can do whatever she wants but this whole victim thing is just wrong. You like her music? Fine. But please don’t act like her because she seems so fake and I don’t understand how people don’t see this. Plus she was lying and selling a wrong image with the whole kanye story. I just don’t understand why she became so big. Btw if a guy would act like her I would ask you the same. I could never tell my daughter that bieber is a acting in a normal way because he seems to have mental issues. Why is a fanbase so blind? Don’t umderstand this. May be I am too old. Sorry for my comment.
Parents like her because she gives off an asexual vibe (even when she’s trying to be sexy). She comes across as “safe for kids” because she does not use bad words and makes cute songs. Her lack of sexuality is her selling point. Most moms and Dads in America protect their kids from sexuality above all else including violent movies and games. They don’t pay attention to her blind item clues or her dating life.
In terms of the press paying attention to her dating life, it’s not the usual sexism of women being called slutty for dating. She actually excapes this slutty title and is instead viewed as ” that poor girl that gets her heart broken”. Her dating life is presented as safe chaperoned dinners, ice cream runs and pecks on the cheek. She gets a pass.
Unlike other female celebrities Swifty *herself* allows the media and paps to follow her romances so her fans can experience it. She even has her own favorite paps. It’s all a marketing scheme for selling music. Some people think she’s gay and hiding with fauxmances. I personally think business/making money is her only interest.
Because they are more interested in being seen as “classy” instead of having actual character
But a classy lady would not replace the love of her life every three months. A classy lady would not mock her enemies and a classy lady would not use feminism to her own advantage. If Taylor Swift is regarded or seen as classy, well what does this say about our society?
She’s (usually) classy and subtle sexy, not blatant and slutty sexy. Think Grace Kelly rather than Marilyn Monroe.
haha no way sorry, Grace was a beauty, taylor is plastic doll without personality, a merchandizing which have to be sell.
There already are pics of them in Nashville. He is looking at the camera and she is posing for it. Zero chemistry, but much hilarity and totally snake approved.
Taylor is a secret lesbian guys. That’s why she canr keep a man. She’s not into your tiddlebanging dick but some VAGINA. it all makes sense now.