This is probably going to be the best story of the week. Just FYI. If you got up bright and early this morning, you might have noticed that “Ted Cruz” is trending on Twitter. His name has been trending since the wee hours because the junior senator from Texas “liked” some p0rn videos and of course everyone can see those “likes” on his Twitter page. It’s funny because Senator Ted Cruz: A) is probably the Zodiac Killer, B) wants to ban many forms of birth control, C) has been in favor of sex toy bans and D) is one of those churchy, holier-than-thou Bible-thumpers.
Well done @TedCruz using the power of "like" to illustrate the evils of porn #Weiner pic.twitter.com/SQDPh1cRTp
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) September 12, 2017
So of course Twitter threw a party about Ted Cruz’s “liked” p0rn videos:
The offensive tweet posted on @tedcruz account earlier has been removed by staff and reported to Twitter
— Catherine Frazier (@catblackfrazier) September 12, 2017
This is the night that Ted Cruz became president.
— Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) September 12, 2017
Nobody who works for or knows Ted Cruz cares enough to take down the porno tweet like, or to even inform him of it. Outstanding
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) September 12, 2017
When Ted Cruz tried to kiss the babies but the babies said I don't know where those hands been pic.twitter.com/2HCYSeRv0L
— I Do Not care (@iamreal2017) September 12, 2017
The Ted Cruz the media doesn't want you to see on 9/11 pic.twitter.com/x4cLYjdsvW
— rickandmorty (@rickandmorty101) September 12, 2017
Official Statement From Ted Cruz: pic.twitter.com/7EHsHtcF1W
— Sophie Scruggs (@SophieAScruggs) September 12, 2017
Ted Cruz tomorrow: "What had happened was…"
America: pic.twitter.com/YuhoJXqZwX
— Charles M. Blow (@CharlesMBlow) September 12, 2017
Photos courtesy of Getty.
Hahahahahahahah…….!
Can’t … stop … laughing (gasps for air).
This is as good as the Steve Bannon quote from Mooch. This will stay with him. Always.😂😂😂😂
what a fossil! hahaha
What an assclown.
Whenever I hear about something dumb that Cruz does, I have to go to Craig Mazin’s Twitter feed…and I’m never disappointed.
Me too! I was laughing so much this morning at his tweets. And Mazin also retweeted this…
A tweet from Cruz on 7/21/17
“We have to deliver now. I believe we can come together. We have to.”
😂😂😂😂😂
Dying!
Sometimes things are good.
I was awake when this started and watched the whole thing play out in real time. I haven’t laughed that hard in decades. It was Platnium Twitter.
We were watching the end of the football game and I too was dying, I was trying to watch the Broncos and try not to cry because I was laughing so hard!
LOL at the name “Sexuall Posts” I can totally see him searching these exact words. He probably also googles “How to make my boner freaking huge”
You know that happy/surprised face Aziz Ansari did on Parks and Rec? That’s me right now.
Lol. I “literally” just finished binge-ing the last season so I am feel extra well acquainted with that face.
Also, has anyone considered that this could make Cruz more popular, given our bizarro state of affairs these days?
@Esmom
Don’t worry. Everybody still hates Ted Cruz. Like Republicans, Democrats, Independence. LOL He lacks the social skills to play this off AND his last name is not Trump!
I just read Al Franken’s book, and he LOATHES him, as does everyone else. It was amusing and depressing at the same time.
His staff has no idea how Twitter works. They are trying to claim that someone posted it to his account. The video wasn’t posted, it was “Liked”. Huge difference.
If they claim he was hacked, who is going to believe that somebody hacked Ted Cruz’s twitter account and the worst thing they could think to do was like a few p0rn videos. So, an intern is probably going to have to take the fall and claim they thought they were logged in under their own account. It’s hilarious.
And an intern would know not to “like” that post. Also, an intern probably wouldn’t get their p0rn from twitter. This was clearly done by someone who doesn’t understand the Internets. Like Ted Cruz.
It really is hilarious.
We know Ted Cruz doesn’t understand how the Internet works, because he came out against Net Neutrality, and it seemed liked he only did it, because Obama spoke out in favor of Net Neutrality.
*Dying*
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
*Dying right next to you*
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
For the first time in history, people will be eagerly awaiting what Ted Cruz has to say about this. I can’t wait for his next news conference.
Such a scummy nasty hypocrite. I’ve been reading the Twitter responses and they are comedy gold. I live in Austin and spend a good bit of time calling and emailing his office every time he votes for some horrible thing. I have a deep loathing for him and his politics and can’t help but enjoy this.
You live in Austin! Lucky girl. Do the bats still fly from underneath the bridge? My great nephew just moved there and I told him to go see them.
The bats are the only thing still Austin in Austin unfortunately. The real estate prices along with the cost of living has skyrocketed… we basically became too popular too fast for our own good. Sorry 15+yrs living here and my husband and I were discussing where we could move if living here and having children was far too expensive. If Amazons new HQ is stationed here, that’s the end of this city and its middle/working-class … </3
Yeah, I would have fit in/loved the 70s Cosmic Cowboy Austin, but the high tech/high cost Austin in not for me. The last time I was there was mid 90s when a bunch of musicians I like did a fund raiser for Ann Richards.
Sadly, have to agree that Austin is crazy expensive and lacks the infrastructure to support the growing population. I’m stuck here for ten more years because my son’s father lives here and we share custody, but the minute he goes to college my husband and I will move away. And as great as Austin can sometimes be it’s still surrounded by the rest of Texas.
lol I laughed so hard at this.
Also Ted Cruz’ former roommate blessed us with more tweets about this situation so we are blessed.
Can you link to his former roommate’s tweets?
This is so funny to me. Like, even his scandal is boring lol
“Ted Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to “stimulate their genitals.” I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.”
https://www.bustle.com/articles/155075-these-17-craig-mazin-tweets-about-ted-cruz-are-some-of-the-funniest-of-the-campaign
Also very nice:
“And, you know, I want to be clear, because Ted Cruz is a nightmare of a human being. I have plenty of problems with his politics, but truthfully, his personality is so awful that 99 percent of why I hate him is just his personality. If he agreed with me on every issue, I would hate him only 1 percent less.”
The unlucky roommate.
http://twitter.com/clmazin/status/720259227067920385
https://twitter.com/clmazin?lang=en
Oh, hell. Mazin is a gem.
“Ted Cruz’s dad seems to be the product of post traumatic stress disorder and Jack Chick tracts. Ted seems to be the product of his dad.”
Hoist with his own Twatter petard.
I believe in his claim of divine justice now!
Sometimes the comedy gods send us a gift. Also divine justice.
@Queen: Thank you! I now remember reading those during the election! Ted Cruz is just so unlikeable. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a group of people who have faces that tell you exactly how awful and unlikeable they are.. but here we are with the current GOP. All vaguely snake looking, although TC is def the small one that cries to his wife about the other ones being more snake like than he is.
Ted Cruz is one of the most unlikeable people around. His roommate tweeted throughout the primaries and it was one of the few moments I could laugh at the utter sh*tshow
He just looks so slimy, doesn’t he? And now we have evidence that his looks don’t belie his personality!
according to Mazin, he actaully is physically slimy and leaves a trail…
Lmao. This man is human dish soap. Even his p0rn is stupid and boring.
I kind of shrug at this. Whatever. The president is a serial molestor of women. So whatever. Nothing matters.
Yeah, supposedly his p0rn is about being jealous other people have friends. Lol. That certainly adds to the thinking that among republicans and democrats in congress, no one likes him.
Speaking of the molester in chief, jon favreau tweeted “this is the night ted Cruz became president.” That’s how much the office of presidency had fallen.
always the holier than thou ones….always
I usually don’t like to kink shame or shame people who watch porn, but I am more than happy to step aside and allow people to humiliate this gross humanoid with abandon.
Agreed-I also think we’re allowed to mock and laugh at him for this because he’s a holier than thou hypocrite.
Yeah, don’t worry. No one is really shaming Cruz for watching porn. Everyone just has a massive case of schadenfreude right now because he himself has tried to shame others for their sexual lives and sexuality.
We are shaming him for his
a) astounding hypocrisy
b) amazing stupity of not knowing what happens when you like something on Twitter
He musn’t have facebook either because when someone likes something there it is pretty much put up to everyone’s friends.
@swak, he doesn’t have friends! He’s Ted Cruz!
@kNY: 🙂
Exactly. Teddy Cruz likes porn. HAHAHAHA!
Someone should create a T Cruz favorites of the porn he likes.
Cruisin with Cruz
Eric, Cruisin’ with Cruz is gold.
Cruz claims to be human, but is actually a combination of a weasel and lizard. His personality is pure jackal and he smells of sulpher. To know him is to loathe him. As a Texan I apologize to all that my state elected him.
Apology accepted. Texas does seem to have an amazing number of asshats in public office, but I’m in Alabama so I can’t really point a finger.
LOOOOOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
Aaaaahahahahaha!!!!!
Just the title of this post… mwah! Delicious.
Someone probably hacked the old fart, but still…it’s rather funny.
Yeah-husband was saying it’s actually really easy to hack into twitter so it’s definitely possible. I prefer to think it really happened.
I did not know that he was fronting to ban sex toys. That bastard.
Why should women experience any pleasure, sex is just a wifely chore after all. Its only 2017 after all. /sarcasm
Bwahahahahaha! No way. Hahahahahaa! Makes my day.
YASSSSSS!
I wonder if his former college roomie offered any thoughts on this? lol
Oh, yes!! Several times. Here’s just one.
http://twitter.com/clmazin/status/907472072812531712
Excellent 😉
Don’t worry, I’m sure he was “hacked.”
3—-2—-1— until “after prayerful consideration” he “takes time away from Washington to focus on my family”. Vomit.
Watching this happen on Twitter in real time was bizarre. He was feeling saucy so he typed in “Sexual Posts”. All the places on the internet where you can get porn why twitter and why in gif form.
A more accurate post title is “Ted Cruz confuses his professional account with the secret one he uses for porn.”
All I know of Ted Cruz comes from watching his questioning of Sally Yates.
That was all I ever needed to know.
Since then, however, I’ve read about him and his “politics”. This couldn’t have happened to a better person, but that’s not true either.Sessions, Cruz, that turtle guy, Paul Ryan, trump, the list of people is endless.
LOL @ “that turtle guy.” Indeed.
The next time Ted gives a speech put him on mute and watch how he moves. He has virtually zero facial expressions and moves left and right in tempo like he is a metronome or a machine on a timer. It is robotic and mechanical. It makes me wonder if he doesn’t have aspbergers syndrome or something.
Go Beto O’Rourke! Please beat this POS Cruz in next year’s senatorial election. Texans, please come to your senses, and rid yourselves, and the rest of the country, of this truly bad man.
YES! I went to the town hall Beto held where I lived and I am ready to vote for him today if I could. I hope enough people in this state get it together and vote Cruz out next year.
Right-wing hypocrisy at its finest!
I don’t know if anyone remembers this, but Ted Cruz did a political campaign commercial about Marco Rubio last year and later found out that a former porn star was in the commercial.
http://nypost.com/2016/02/12/ted-cruz-yanks-ad-featuring-porn-star/
So the actress, Amy Lindsey, lived down the street from me (and our parents still live down the street from each other). She’s three years older than me and so she was our most frequent babysitter throughout my childhood. We’re friends on Facebook and she’s a total pill – and completely hilarious. She thinks Ted Cruz is a major tool. He’s literally the WORST.
Anyway, anything that embarrasses and humiliates him delights me to no end.
And this had to happen on a day when I worked all day! But OMG I have been dying since I got home and read about this. I mean, literally, I laughed to the point of tears LOL epic!