Minka Kelly got two big headlines late last week. One headline was about her current boyfriend, Jesse Williams. Most people believe that Minka and Jesse started seeing each other last year, when he was still very much married. Many people believe that Minka was the reason why – or one of the big reasons why – Jesse left his wife. Well, one of Minka’s Instagram followers commented on her one her posts: “I hope the cheating rumors aren’t true. It would be disappointing.” I don’t know why people feel the need to go on a celebrity’s social media and tell them that something they’re doing is “disappointing” but whatever. Maybe people do it because once in a blue moon, a celebrity actually responds, which is what Minka did. Minka wrote back to the follower: “They’re not. Hate for you to be disappointed. Glad I could clear that up for you. Now f–k off.” I’ll f–k off, for sure, but chica, you’re lying!!
The second headline was a bit more interesting than whatever shady, revisionist timeline she has going on with Jesse. The second headline was about Harvey Weinstein. Minka shared her Weinstein story on her Instagram too:
I met Harvey at an industry party. The following day, my agent said he wanted to see me for a general meeting. The location was set for his hotel room. I wasn’t comfortable with going to his room & said so. The following day, we sat down with an assistant in the hotel restaurant. He bullsh-t me for 5 minutes re: movies he could put me in, then asked the assistant to excuse us. As she walked away, he said, “I know you were feeling what I was feeling when we met the other night” and then regaled me with offers of a lavish life filled with trips around the world on private planes etc. IF I would be his girlfriend. Or, “We could just keep this professional.”
All I knew was not to offend this very powerful man and to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. I told him while flattered, I’d like to keep things professional. He said “Fine. I trust you won’t tell anyone about this.” I said “Of course not. Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me,” – the only way I could think to shut it down gracefully and excuse myself.
I immediately told my agent what happened. We marveled at his audacity, reinforced my instinct not to offend him & laughed at how glad I was to get out of there. Neither of us were that surprised as this wasn’t far off from the day-to-day bullsh-t of being an actress.
I’m sorry for obliging his orders to be complicit in protecting his behavior, which he obviously knew was wrong or he wouldn’t have asked me not to tell anyone in the first place. For making him feel ok about the gross things he was saying and that I felt my only route was to say I was flattered. For not insisting that my reps never allow anyone to take a meeting in a hotel room (with him or anyone else), because I honestly don’t know what might have happened if I’d just showed up as originally scheduled.
I am appalled for all the women being told these occurrences are in any way their fault. No more Harvey Weinstein in Hollywood does not solve the problem but maybe the more voices sharing their stories and adding support to the countless women and men who have suffered through abuse of power, the less it will be tolerated.
With all of the stories coming out about Weinstein, I keep needing to keep myself at arm’s length so I won’t be so sad, disheartened and disgusted that Weinstein was allowed to do this for so long. So, I’ve been thinking a lot about victimology, and I’ve been thinking a lot about Weinstein’s varying modus operandi. The hotel meetings are key, and they feature is nearly every story, just as a common thread of “bathing/showering” exists. I find it interesting – the way I find episodes of Dateline interesting – that Weinstein wielded different degrees of flattery, threats, bribes, harassment and actual abuse, with seemingly no rhyme or reason. Did Minka “earn” a simple offer of bribery/harassment because she refused to meet him in the hotel room? Why that response, when the response would have been different if the actress had been (presumably) less of a celebrity? I don’t know. I really don’t. But I believe Minka. I bet Harvey also bragged about all of the famous women he slept with, because that also seems to be a common thread of his “seduction” technique. Ugh.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
HW is such a disgusting looking obnoxious pig. Is that why he used force and intimidation to assault women? How anyone could be physically attracted to him boggles my mind. I hope as a result of his exposure that others are outed as well. Both those who pray on men as well as women. I hope this is an awakening and a seminal moment that leads to honest actual change in our society.
He’s one sick looking dude. He looks a bit like my perv uncle, who abused my mother and her sister. Glad Minka got past this creep, though I’m sure she’ll still fighting off a ton of other ones daily.
This was not about physical appearance or an unattractive guy’s ploy to overcompensate for not getting laid. This was psychological, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse by a man who wanted to dominate, subjugate and humiliate women. Rape and sexual harassment were just his weapons of choice. If we assign superficial reasons to this kind of psychopathy then no one will believe the woman who is assaulted by a drop dead gorgeous guy or the hunky captain of the football team etc. rape is violence not sex.
So well said.
I agree, Enough Already. I think it’s more that before this massive exposure of his reprehensible, horrifying and criminal behaviour, no one would have bothered with his looks, one way or the other. He was just a nondescript, rich, white, powerful Hollywood player, like so many others. Now that we know all we do, we are assigning ugliness to his face because of the ugliness and evil of his deeds. It’s hard to equate good-looking people committing truly horrible acts, and yet, they do. If we look back, Bill Cosby was a “father figure”, a loved icon, for decades, but now, many cannot bring themselves to look at his face. His s another face of evil.
Yes, exactly! Well said. I am really disheartened by all the fat-shaming and ugly-shaming comments that this story has brought out (and let’s not even get into the antisemitism). Yes, Weinstein is overweight and not conventionally attractive. There are plenty of people who tick those boxes yet don’t get off on rape and power abuse: implying that looks and actions are causally connected also suggests that one can ‘read’ morality on someone’s face, which is lazy and kind of immoral in and of itself. It’s easy to create a fairy tale narrative (which Asia Argento I think alluded to) with beautiful maidens assaulted by an ogre. But the problem with Trump and Weinstein is not their weight or their features, it’s their actions and a system that allows their behavior to continue unchecked for decades.
@Ada
The antisemitism is so strange but not unexpected. I just wonder what the gentile abusers of world get when they act like creeps? Like say ministers or the ones in Hollywood or the music industry? Or politics? Or everywhere?
I’m going with the assumption that no one has ever been physically attracted to him.
I would like to hope that this will bring about change, but just talking about Weinstein isn’t enough unfortunately. Mia Kirshner had a great article in the Globe and Mail (Canadian newspaper) acknowledging that she had also been subjected to Weinstein’s abuses but saying that she wanted to focus instead on how to protect actors going forward. Her point was in part that focusing too much on Weinstein will allow us all to collectively move on once his headlines fade and won’t address the industry wide (and society wide) issue in the long term. She had some great suggestions actually and I found it empowering to think about concrete tactics that unions could take to improve the professional environment and how that could extend to other fields as well.
https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/i-was-a-victim-of-harvey-weinstein-but-we-have-to-focus-on-the-future/article36584019/%3Fservice=amp
Yes! I’ve been having the same thoughts lately – thank you for this shareable link.
Part of his sharing about actresses is to normalize his behaviour.
He says Mary and Kat and Luba and Vivienne all slept with me, they had a grand old time. It’s not so bad. They didn’t make a fuss.
You are then forced to agree it’s not so bad, and by agreeing he’s now got you on his team of a ‘philanderer’. Not rapist. He’s normalizing his behaviour, and making everyone else complicit by forcing them to agree his behaviour is normal.
You can see it with Minka, he asks that she view this as a one off, to keep his secret.
Yes!
ITA: The normalization of harassment & assault (the ‘boys will be boys logic’) is why so many of us stay silent.
Also, I think the logic you lay out is the same one HW uses to convince himself he’s not a real monster, just a good ole boy.
YES!
I disagree that he changed his behavior with “no rhyme or reason.” He 100% would change his MO based on how far he thought he could get with someone. That’s one of the reasons he got away with it for so long. Predators like him may be terrible but they are often not stupid; they are very calculating.
Good point; he’s manipulative as a reflex. ITA that his MO changed based on his perception of what he could get away with. He’s a predator & deserves to be jailed for assaulting so many human beings.
Someone pointed this out on a previous thread about how it seems he would test his victims. How far could he go? He may have touched their arm just a few seconds longer than normal in their first meeting to gauge their reaction or made an inappropriate joke to see how they would respond as a first step. Asking for a hotel room meeting to see if they would accept or see if they would offer an alternative suggestion.
The commentor the other day was talking about watching out for these subtle questions and behaviors and going with your gut if something seems not right.
What really gets me is how many people did speak up over the years…and that this was the best unkept secret in Hollywood…yet it kept happening?!? SICK! I mean this went on for decades. Think about that. I bet dozens more speak out now that he isn’t a power player in Hollyweird anymore. And it makes me wonder how many people felt the pressure/power/authority figure in HW to just ‘do something’ quickly to make their acting career happen…then nothing happened. He is just a monster. It says A LOT about Hollyweird that this man was able to do this for decades. You couldn’t pay me enough to be ‘famous’, hell no!! Never!!
I totally agree. I recently quit doing comedy for the same reasons. After turning down advances from and reporting more than one power player in a major comedy capital, I was basically blacklisted. I decided it wasn’t worth the abuse. I have been so much happier focusing on my fiancee and and my new day job. You couldn’t pay me enough to want to work for a major comedy club/show at this point.
I think it’s safer to put out a public announcement in Hollywood and ask who WASNT preyed on by him. Utterly disgusting. Read a daily mail piece this AM about Joan Collins and what she had to endure. This has been going on forever by many different men. So not only were women not getting paid the same as their male counterparts in Hollywood but they had to deal with this bull shit. And all the men in Hollywood who knew should be called out too. They are just as guilty.
Aside from badmouthing some of these women in the industry, he army of publicists, journalists and bloggers in his payroll. Some of his favorites are page six and daily mail that he uses to trash the women that had the temerity to say no to him. Maybe we can be mindful next time that either of these publications are doing a hatchet job on an actress, to maybe wonder if there is retribution there instead of being gleeful that she is being brought down a peg. Harvey is the one in the news but I am certain there many more like him not yet exposed.
+1
Absolutely, Magdalene. If people think the problem is sorted because HW has been royally taken down, they’ve got rocks in their heads. My hope is that victims are emboldened to speak up, that the other mongrels like HW have nowhere to hide, and that those who were only too willing to protect them have also had a wake-up call about doing what’s right.
Question: Does anybody know anything about the Weinstein brothers’ parents relationship?
In no way excuses anything but I’m very curious as to how the Weinstein’s were raised.
We know how the Affleck boys were and how they turned out
Does it matter? Ultimately people make a choice about what type of person to become.
Upbringing plays a role in who you become as an adult. I am curious too.
We keep hearing from so many women who were propositioned or attacked and managed to get away or turn him down. The sheer volume is frightening.
My thoughts keep turning to those who we haven’t heard from, who weren’t able to get away. Those who didn’t turn him down, who were pressured by a man in a position of authority and thought they had no choice. He obviously used the imbalance of power to his advantage, and while there are so many well known names that avoided physical harm, I worry about those women who did not. He tried the same method over and over again and in many stories we are hearing about his methods didn’t work, but chances are good that he continued trying because in some cases these methods did work. That’s what keeps me up at night. My heart breaks for these silent women whose stories aren’t about a “near miss”.
Except several women have talked about not being able to get away. Asia Argento, Lucia Evans, Lysette Anthony, and Rose McGowan among others have all said there was sexual assault or rape.
Fair point… I don’t want to discredit those experiences at all. I just think there are likely more out there that haven’t been shared, and may never be. I hope those women have support, and know that our collective outrage is for them too.
Sidebar, but related: Minka dated Chris Evans for years. He’s been busy retweeting Mark Ruffalo and Lena Dunham. When will he, and other guys like him, spill what they know?
I really wonder if every single woman has a similar story to share. I sure do. I worked in bars and restaurants and have been propositioned so many times, I think I started to normalize it. I started to dress less attractively because I thought it was MY FAULT that these pigs felt ok with treating me like meat. It sickens me now, when I see men putting young vulnerable servers in awkward positions. I do sometimes lean over and say (she just wants to serve you your beer with a smile because its her job, you are making her and the rest of us very uncomfortable). I actually use harsher language that I can’t repeat here. I’m glad this finally came out. But lets be realistic, we’ve all heard of the /casting couch’. We’ve all been part of this normalization of sexual predation. Thank god we as a society have had enough!!!
+1 sadly I have more than a few stories, too, and I’ve never been a server or worked in a service industry. Just “lovely” (sarcasm) regular ole people touching my privates unsolicited, commenting on my body repeatedly despite the obvious discomfort I was feeling while I fake-laughed because I was barely legal and he was in his 50s and I didn’t know what to do, another guy my own age forcing himself on me while I froze and hoped he didn’t go too far (he did) where I felt so gross after but thought it was my fault for not screaming or hitting him but I was stiff and frozen, obviously paralyzed by it, etc. several perps, several stories. Disturbing and rampant, not just a Hollywood problem
when i was in that industry i started to wear an engagement ring to have a ready excuse for this type of thing. how very sad that me have more respect for the imaginary man they never met than the actual woman right in front of them.
Lisa, +1. Im sorry.
thanks, i think it is really common and all sorts of similar instances are normalized
one good thing that has come out of this, i am remembering all of the times i was harassed and treated it like it was my job to avoid it and not the other way around. i cant be alone. now i know to classify all the unwanted touches, comments, behaviors as the assault that it is.
This reminds me of what poor Kesha has has to endure. Dr Luke raped her and a judge still won’t let her out from under his power. What f**ked up is our world?!?! Her new song Changing(?) is POWERFUL. I sobbed when I heard it because you know exactly what it’s about. Absosoutly heartwrenhing what she and many, many other women have had to endure.
wow. I cant believe she said “f off”. I mean the person’s comment was silly yet benign. Im just surprised she had it in her to say that
Yeah she def doesn’t have that large of a fan base where she can just go and tell one to f*ck off…
Because the truth hurts? She can rewrite history regarding the Jesse Williams thing but sorry timeline doesn’t match up with her account.