Words you never want to hear again: Postal Worker Stalker. Unfortunately for Colin Firth, he’s hearing these words again.

The 45-year-old postal worker was arrested after she begged her bosses to let her deliver to the £2.5 million home of the 46-year-old actor in leafy Chiswick, west London.

The woman is also understood to have posted fake accounts of meeting her idol on an internet site for fans of Firth, perhaps best known for his role as Mr Darcy in the BBC adaptation of Pride And Prejudice.

Firth, who lives in Chiswick with his 37-year-old wife Livia, became a sex symbol and gained an army of female fans after emerging from a lake in skintight breeches in the 1995 Beeb version of the classic Jane Austen novel.

Staff at the obsessed fan’s depot are understood to have raised the alarm after she applied to swap delivery routes with a colleague.

A pal of the actor, who asked not to be named, said: “Colin is normally very at ease with his fans, but he was aware one woman was veering closer to obsession.”

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Some reports suggest this isn’t the first time the postal worker has been arrested for the stalking.

If I had a stalker, which is highly unlikely given that I have never emerged sexily from a pond in a wet white shirt and tight breeches, I would be really worried that they had been cautioned twice. And that they continued to be employed by the Royal Mail. Where they might be able to touch my mail, or even do something unsavoury to it. Actually, any postal worker could probably do that. I wonder if they do?

Colin Firth is currently filming Mama Mia the musical movie, where he plays a British banker who might be homosexual. He’ll be warming up his pipes, singing the hit music of ABBA, to tell the tale of a bride-to-be who is unsure of the identity of her father. The potential candidates for fatherhood are Colin, Pierce Brosnan, and Stellan Skarsgård. Which is a combination I doubt we’ll ever see in a real life paternity battle.

I wonder if singing the hit music of ABBA would be enough to put off a potential stalker? I think a compulsion to burst into ABBA songs would be a deal breaker in many relationships.