Cele|bitchy | Dannielynn Turns 1

Dannielynn’s first birthday passed this weekend, but it certainly didn’t go unnoticed by the 200 guests, and anyone living within 20 miles of Larry Birkhead’s place.

Some guests arrived in limousines and stretch Humvees, bearing large stuffed animals and other gifts. One guest was seen carrying a large pencil drawing of Dannielynn, whose actual birthday was Friday.

“My daughter had a really, really good time,” Birkhead said. “Barney the dinosaur came and gave a special performance. The kids loved it.”

A hot-air balloon shaped as a birthday cake adorned the front yard. Yellow police tape stretched around the yard in the posh Louisville neighborhood, and about a half-dozen off-duty police officers guarded the property.

One guest, Tina Showalter of Louisville, said she had known Birkhead most of his life. Showalter said she left the party about 15 minutes after arriving mainly because it was so crowded.

“Everything is a little frenzied in there,” she said.

Showalter said that in the back yard there was “a huge castle as big as a house,” along with bubble machines and a white carriage.

I hope Larry Birkhead didn’t find the experience too exhausting, because he’s got years of birthdays coming before Dannielynn is old enough to even remember her birthday party. My mother spent hours preparing for my first birthday, making an incredibly elaborate koala cake (it looked like a koala, it’s not a flavour) and inviting all the neighbourhood kids. Then I ate a firstfull of cake and went to sleep, with all the other kids who didn’t cry.

Larry, rest for Dannielynn’s second birthday, because by the time she’s thirteen and wanting to go to Disneyland you’ll be really really tired. Of course, maybe by the time she’s thirteen we’ll all be over the whole Anna Nicole Saga – but somehow I suspect the associated court cases will still be going – and you won’t have to have guests check their cameras at the door to guarantee the exclusive to whatever magazine you are selling the story to.