Yesterday, we talked about the clip of Michael Buble and his wife Luisana Lopilato which came from their Instagram Live session several days ago. In the brief clip, Michael elbows Luisana hard, she apologizes to him quickly (she apologizes for speaking) and then he grabs her arm to pull her close and then puts in an uncomfortable looking “headlock.” All of it pinged on a lot of people’s radars. I didn’t – and I won’t – call Michael Buble abusive for the clip, but the clip made me incredibly uncomfortable and I feel like Luisana can and should talk to someone.
Michael Bublé is currently under fire due to a recent IG live in which he forcefully grabbed his wife Luisana Lopilato after she talked over him.
Similar clips from the past have surfaced, and the actress has put out a statement denying the allegations. pic.twitter.com/MGtPJfx42o
— Affinity Magazine (@TheAffinityMag) April 12, 2020
After fans basically told Luisana that she needed to contact a domestic abuse hotline, she issued a lengthy statement about the strength of her marriage and basically blamed US for feeling uncomfortable. Meanwhile, Michael said nothing. He’s still saying nothing. He got his rep to issue a statement about all of the chatter:
Recent videos of Michael Bublé and wife Luisana Lopilato sparked concern among fans after the star appeared to treat his partner in a rough manner. However, his rep says these interactions are hardly cause for worry. In a statement to E! News, the singer’s representative assured, “Anyone who watches them on Facebook live every day can see that this is a beautiful partnership filled with love.” The rep added that the allegations are “a failed effort of cyber bullying” against the couple.
Yeah, no. It’s not cyberbullying to simply watch a video – a video which they themselves posted onto social media – and cringe and say “lord, that makes me uncomfortable, poor Luisana.” In what world is that cyberbullying? Is he trying to gaslight… everybody??
Many of Luisana’s fans have pointed out that Michael has long been problematic on their live video things. They pointed out this somewhat recent Instagram Live thing where he’s doing and saying problematic sh-t (see below). Around the 1:15-mark of this video, you can hear Luisana calling out in the background, and that’s when Michael says “Honestly, I can’t wait till you get to see the divorce on this. Cause honestly, I’m telling you right now, if you think this is an act, it’s not an act. My God.” What’s worse is… his face and the fact that he makes a fist to the camera. HOLY YIKES. And then around the 2-minute mark is when Luisana shows up and he’s so disgusted with the fact that she was late and making cupcakes and he goes on and on about how she’s always late.
If I’m being extremely generous, I would say that he’s aiming to have a ‘40s style screwball-comedy vibe with his wife, and he’s just not pulling it off because he’s not that good of an actor. But mostly I just think he has massive issues and Luisana needs to get out.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I find him completely gross on every way – not a fan of his music either. Emily Blunt was smart to dump him after he cheated on her – she sure got a better guy.
@wendy – yes, he’s a smug entitled asshole as far as I’m concerned. Nowhere near as talented or attractive as he thinks he is. Aww, poor Mikey , is that cyber bullying too?
Hiding behind cyber bullying?
No Mike. If you’re not abusing your wife and this was all a misunderstanding then YOU apologize.
You do not make your wife defend you to the masses and then talk through a rep.
Seriously, what would be so hard about HIM.APOLOGIZING.
WORD UP.
Man, every clip is really uncomfortable….
Honestly, I do wonder the kind of effect that the fans comments are having though. They’re all stuck together at a time like this because of covid – I’m sure that if he is abusive (and there’s definitely some red flags that make me think he is at least emotionally) the fact that this is getting headlines isn’t helping his mood.
I’m sure he appreciates you caping for him. And his mood. Poor sausage.
She isn’t concerned about his feelings, she’s implying that it may be putting his wife in more danger. An abusive man in a bad mood is a very dangerous man.
Huh? I don’t think Erinn is caping for him. It’s actually a good and alarming point: with more eyes and attention on this story, he might become *really* angry and then take it out on Luisana. She’s even more of a target since they’re in isolation and it’ll be harder for her to avoid him when he gets into a nasty mood.
SomeChick, calm down. I don’t know how you possibly got that idea from what I wrote.
Kebbie and Beach Dreams understood exactly what I was saying. I worry about the wife and children’s safety because of how pissed off he’s going to be by the people commenting. Why else would I have mentioned the lockdown and said that there are red flags that make me think he’s AT LEAST emotionally abusive? Good lord.
Erinn, I was thinking the exact same thing..
MB was very forceful with his wife. Her face speaks volumes. I doubt this is the first time he has been disrespectful. Bad vibes.
People need to chill out. Christ get a life if this is bothering you
Err really ? Is not about getting a life if this bother us, he put this out there and that’s WHY people are commenting. Same as you are now.
I agree. i think he can be a douche at times but this seems like playful banter to me. She doesn’t seem at all bothered by it and laughs during the story of her always being late. I found a bit humorous tbh. I might be in the minority but this doesn’t seem abusive at all.
He tells her he is going to kill her at the end of one live when he thought she had already ended it. Doesn’t seem very playful to me.
Yes,Kebbie I watched that on you tube yesterday.Something isn’t right.
@Juliette – I used to laugh it down when my abusive ex boyfriend would intentionally humiliate me in front of friends or coworkers. Defending myself and showing I was upset at how he treated me would only make him angrier in private.
Humiliation like Michael telling the entire world he’s going to divorce his wife because she’s annoying him. While making a fist.
That elbow he gave her did not seem playful at all. He seemed annoyed that she stepped on his lines.
@kebbie, my apologies – I didn’t see or hear that one. Ya, that’s not so good at all.
It’s definitely one of those things that can look innocent by itself, but her fans have found several instances that all together look really bad. At the very least, I’m guessing he’s got a serious temper and she’s the one that has to bear the brunt of it.
Well, I have heard he can be snappy. A friend of mine who was walking her dog by his house in the Squamish area got told off by a staff member of his. Apparently he didn’t like her Jack Russell terrier walking on the edge of the lawn. No going to the bathroom or anything, just walking along the edge of it by the road.
A security guard came out and told her to go the other side of the street to walk her dog not on or near his lawn. Kind of a dick move. On her way back, just to spite him she let her dog pee on the edge!
He’s a giant aggressive man-baby. He needs to stop this and get therapy.
He has a quote about being angry about even thinking of filtering himself. Well, time to learn to get over that.
He doesn’t seem to acknowledge his wife, let alone be warm towards her, in the pics that I’ve seen. Not sure if that means anything, but most people care to fake it, at the very least.
I didn’t click on the story yesterday, but watched the clip last night and yikes. It was uncomfortable. It was clear as soon as he elbowed her that he realized he had to cover his tracks and then grabbed her arm to make it look like it was affectionate but it was actually really awkward.
Exactly. He wasn’t being playful, he was trying to cover up his reaction by pretending it was a joke.
There’s also an interview where he himself mentions how violent he’s been and can be, and admitted he doesn’t even care if committing an act of violence again would ruin his career, that he would “do it again.”
There’s also videos where he literally threatens her saying “you’re so dead,” and “i’m going to kill you”—this is how he reacts when she does little things he considers disrespectful to him.
He clearly has anger and violence issues, by his own admission, this is not made up concern, and it’s definitely not “cyberbullying”—but of course a violent narcissist would see it that way. He’s the real victim here right? Not his wife who has to try and navigate his short temper And verbal abuse on the regular /s.
The video where he says “I’m going to kill you” he thinks the phone is off and the live is over. He says it quietly. It is chilling to me.
It’s at the very end of this video:
https://mobile.twitter.com/recp2306/status/1249095974338822144
Okay when he says “I’m going to kill you” she says “Why bae?” And he just repeats it and the tone does sound like joking.
But the problem I have with him is that he doesn’t seem capable of modulating all of this negativity. It seems constant for him and he channels it into “joking” and he keeps grabbing her around the neck in many videos in a way that’s sort of a hug and sort of a head lock. It’s way too frequent and habitual.
I did things like this when I had rage and anger issues. I knew it was inappropriate and something I needed to break out of even as i was doing it. Some friends tried to enable me by saying well at least you are not screaming or hitting.
But no, it’s not okay. And it is possible to retrain yourself so that rage and anger isn’t your first reaction to begin with and therefore you don’t need to channel anything. It is actually a revelation to some people that you don’t have to be angry so often, or even at all. Anger doesn’t have to take you over. But when you get this revelation it’s so liberating. It changes your life.
It takes a lot of work and thought but it is so worth it to not be a seething ball of resentment and simmering triggers.
Fortunately I worked and aged my way out of all that. I would imagine or hope he will, too, but he has to stop being in denial and want to make the effort. Which I absolutely wanted to do, as I wanted to end a generational problem with this sort of aggression. My grandfather had come from an abusive background and he tried to control it but his results were half-assed and visited this onto my father and he tried to channel and control it but that rage got passed onto me. You’ve got to end the rage, period. Channeling it doesn’t work. The victims always know and feel your rage through the denigrating jokes or choking hugs or the tickling or practical jokes or teasing.
If you treat a child like his wife is being treated in these videos, it sends mixed messages and you get an adult with the issues I had to resolve. He has to accept it is not funny and not acceptable to poke fun of his spouse or to put his hands on her the way he’s doing. Never. At all.
Yes people can joke about their spouses if they are both emotionally healthy. They will get the tone right and it will be cute and not unsettling the way it is when he does this to his wife.
But with all the signs of troubles he’s giving off here and what he has allegedly stated about his temper, saying unflattering things about his wife is kind of like an alcoholic trying to take a “social drink” of wine. For healthy people its fine to drink that wine. For an alcoholic, it’s a problem.
My husband and I can and do poke fun at each other’s funny little habits now that I’m emotionally healthy. And there’s no anger or dissatisfaction behind it. I think it’s funny how he puts furniture together backwards because he refuses to look at the diagram. He thinks the fact even after all the years in this house can’t remember which switch goes to which light on our multi switch panel is endearingly funny. We don’t poke fun about things that truly annoy us. Those things we leave for serious discussions.
I am worried I am not expressing any of this well. I’ve had little sleep and lots to do. So I hope my thoughts came across alright.
Oh and my dad did also get his act together. He and I worked through our childhood issues together in a series of many conversations. He’s very different as a father and a grandfather these days, I am happy to say.
I wish Michael Buble and his wife well. I’m a fan of his voice and singing. I am disappointed to find out he is like this. I hope he takes all the comments as a wake up call to make the effort to change.
I don’t think he literally meant he was going to kill her, but I don’t think he was kidding either. He said it at the end of the one where he couldn’t let it go that she was two minutes late because she was making cupcakes for their kids.
She hollered that she’d be there in a minute or something and he made a fist and made some comment about divorce. Then she came into the room and he just couldn’t let it go.
At the end he started talking about if you want to kill your spouse, go in a separate room and talk to them through the wall and you’ll love them again. Then he thinks the camera is off and he says he’s going to kill her.
Seething ball of resentment and rage is a perfect description for him on that live, IMO. It was honestly more of a red flag than the elbow to me because you could just see him trying to keep it together the whole time. That’s what made the comment chilling to me.
Kudos to you for putting in the work and getting better. I think most people with rage issues truly believe it’s everyone else and not them. It takes a huge amount of self-awareness to realize you have the problem.
Yes he doesnt seen to see his response to this only goes further in him looking abusive
Exactly. The concern being expressed for his wife’s wellbeing (+ evidence to back it up) should have at least been a wake-up call to him, or an indicator that something may be off in the way he treats her and possibly others even if people’s worst assumptions aren’t true yet.
He looks at her completely bored, annoyed and with frustration. He gives me the same vibes that Justin Timberlake and Prince William give their wives …that they must always remember ‘their place’s or else.
yes. and always about her looks.
their energy just seems completely opposite of each other.
Yep and these men seem to pride themselves on being nice guy, family men. His wife seems scared to put a foot wrong, cos she knows he’ll go off on her, similar to how kate reacts around William, constantly walking on egg shells.
Yes, I see the similarities. At least to William and Kate. I’m not familiar with Justin Timberlake as he conducts himself with his wife. But I’ve never heard one good thing about him.
I’m astounded the wives put up with this.
DARVO
Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender
Deny anything is wrong and minimize behaviour – it’s nothing, it’s just now we joke
Attack – everyone else is an asshole for questioning his behaviour
We’ve now seen the first two, and I’m waiting for the third.
@Detritus
👏🏽 Very astute observation at his behaviour!
A while ago someone posted something called the narcissist’s prayer/motto (?), I wish I had saved it, ‘cause IMO It fits in this situation.
https://imgur.com/gallery/JW5Z7
here you go.
@Trout Predator
Yes! This! Thank youu!
Yes Detritus, ITA
he’s already done three – he (through his rep) is claiming he’s the “victim” of “cyberbullying”.
Really hits home for me. I was raised with this behavior
darvo – that’s what my ex would tell me he would do if I tried to change our parenting time bc of his drug use. Him telling me he will react like that makes the emotional abuse so much more disgusting to go through. And yes, most narcs do this, but most don’t state they will before they do.
Completely agree. I think most of us felt fear watching it. He’s just so angry. Still terrified for his wife.
just watched the clip where he elbows his wife – her eyes go completely dead when he starts pulling her about. It gives me a horrible feeling.
Yeah, it looked like a joke for a split second and then her eyes went blank and my heart broke.
I was with a man for three years. He never physically hit me, but he didn’t have to. I was mentally and emotionally abused by living in fear of his temper. He is acting just like my ex. He won’t recognize he’s doing anything wrong until she stands up to him & that doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen any time soon. It’s very sad.
His words and actions are really troubling. Even if he’s not physically abusive with her (which I wouldn’t doubt), he’s obviously extremely uptight and controlling. You can see that from just these short clips. He’s extremely harsh and aggressive.
The way she looked scared for a second then apologized to him is what’s terrifying. No doubt he’s at least emotionally abusive.
That isn’t cyberbulling. They put the video out there. He’s uncomfortably physical with her on it. People reacted. It’s his own doing.
Now if people start going bonkers and threatening him, that’s different, but people expressing concern at his poor behavior is not.
If you’re experiencing domestic violence call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Help is available, you don’t deserve to be treated poorly <3
I still think he is more of a douche than anything else with a really appalling temper.
However if one day I see in the news that she fled the marriage claiming him to be emotionally abusive (or even physically) I wouldn’t be super surprised. From what I see it can go either way.
I have a friend who has a very tantrumy partner and I have a hard time containing myself. She is pregnant with his 3rd kid and super happy with him although they quarrel all the time. So I understand people claiming abuse but I find it completely speculative. I heard the I’ll kill you and it’s absolutely Kosher. The bad bits are definitely the contempt he seems to have for her and the interruptions. Which remind me of my friend’s partner and now I’m unnerved again.
It is so obvious that he is controlling. He elbows her, then realizes he is on camera and that it will look bad, so he starts manhandling her trying to cover it up. I cannot imagine my husband ever elbowing me like that, I just can’t.
He didn’t ‘realize he’s on camera’, he knew it from the start & did what he did anyway. These two videos are disturbing to me. That he feels free enough to treat her like this on camera (phone) & post it for all the world to see demonstrates his arrogance & entitlement.
He was on Instagram live, he didn’t post it after the fact. I think he elbowed her instinctively because that’s what he does when he’s angry, he lashes out physically. Then he remembered people were watching so he tried to play it off like a joke. I think it was his honest reaction to being interrupted and he knew it was wrong.
At worst he’s abusive, but I could see the other interpretation of what happened which means that at best he’s a d*ck
If he’s a d*ck to his wife then that’s emotional abuse.
As I mentioned yesterday he seemed to have a weird and sometimes self deprecating sense of humor so why doesn’t he address the issue directly and stops all the so-called fake noise? Luisana and her sibbilings had to jump at his defense right away and now his spokesman is claiming cyber bullying while he stays completely quiet pretending to be a victim?
It does look bad. I used to like him as an artist and really liked them as couple since they remind me of my personal love story (I married around the same time to my love distance boyfriend from another culture) Luisana and Michael seemed to be a low key, deeply in love bi-cultural couple and she also migrated because love but this whole thing disappointed me.
Both videos made me completely cringe. What a creep
He’s abusive alright. I’ve never cared for him, maybe because he reminds me of my sister’s ex who beat her for breakfast, lunch and dinner. He even put my sister outside the house one night with no clothes on. She hid behind a bush in the yard for hours until he decided to let her back in. I don’t think he’s very talented either, all he does is sing other singers songs. Has he ever sung any thing original?
This is what happens when you put your stuff on social media. They have to accept the backlash or keep their stuff personal.
Anyone who watches them on Facebook live every day can see that this is a beautiful partnership
My stomach flopped when I read this
There was a female doctor killed by her abusive surgeon husband in Ontario a few years ago
They too had a happy family Facebook page and it turned out he was controller of it making her put out happy family posts to cover the fact he had been horribly abusing her for years
He killed her
MB is giving out those same vibes
I was a victim of DV in a past marriage and while it was horrible being thrown down flights of stairs, kicked, punched and strangled it was even worse when I left him and people couldn’t believe me because he was such a great life of the party guy
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s a testament to your strength that you got out.
This kind of triggered so many people because many women have been in relationships that look exactly like this and they see the red flags. It’s not just one video where he’s playing rough with her. It’s *many* videos and huge instances where he manhandles her. He’s always doing that chokey thing with his arm around her neck. It’s like he’s always dominating her and he doesn’t respect her body or personal space. There are videos where he rudely grabs objects from her hands, and he grabs her face and neck, he grabs her arm aggressively. He seems possessive and very controlling. He doesn’t respect her. It’s not just how he physically grabs her, but how often he humiliates her. Like, he’s always making fun of her English and her thick accent. The way she mispronounces things. When he never made an effort to learn her language. He’s always making her feel bad and telling on her “oh she’s always late. I always have to apologize for her.” He love’s embarrassing her and making her look stupid in front of people. If you guys don’t think that’s bad idk what to tell you but you need to watch all the videos to get some context.
As far as her defending him, it’s not the first time a woman defends her abuser. And Luisana has always been into projecting this image of perfection and happy family. Many women are like that. They play along and be Betty Draper, while Don gets to be a monster behind closed doors.
@Annie thank you for this post! you expressed my thoughts and feelings.
Who marries someone from South America and then bitches at them for being, late? Like hello??
In the states, because of my profession, I am considered a mandated reporter. If I suspect child abuse or neglect, domestic abuse or elder abuse, I have to report it. And it doesn’t matter if I can prove it or what the outcome is. This law is in place to protect vulnerable people. I don’t know the laws in Canada because I haven’t lived there as as adult , but MB is NOT above the law. We need to take action and someone has to report him. Whatever the outcome is, he needs to be investigated and a file needs to be opened. He needs a paper trail. The fact that there are numerous publicly available examples of his behavior is more than enough— again, here, you don’t need “proof”— just a suspicion, but if that’s needed, it’s readily available. I know they are an international couple, but can someone figure out where they were at the time of that recording (I don’t have IG) and please report this POS to the Canadian/local authorities? This is worthy of an investigation— I truly don’t care how famous they are or how perfect they claim their relationship is. Staying silent as we witness what could end up being a tragedy is not helpful for anyone. I think we owe this to any vulnerable person.
This is a great point. Is there “mandated reporting” in Canada?
So much has been said by her and now the rep. Yet, neither has said, “he does not beat her.”
Thank you, Gigi!! I was thinking about that immediately after reading her statement. I actually read it twice just to verify that I hadn’t missed something. I found it so strange that neither he, nor she, clearly stated ‘he doesn’t hurt me’ or ‘he would never hurt me,’ Instead, she said why are you talking about this in the middle of a pandemic, and you lying people don’t know me or my family so stop talking about us.
It was odd to me what she didn’t say, and didn’t clarify, as much as what she did say. I’m glad you said this because I thought I was the only one who noticed it.
I’m not sure if it was just a translation thing, but her saying that she knows who her husband is and she would choose him a thousand times over was not great either.
If he were being accused of cheating or something, saying you know who he is would make more sense. In this scenario, it almost makes it sound like he is abusive but she knows in his heart he’s good or something. Why would you not just say “he has never and would never hurt me” or something along those lines?
Her statement and then his rep saying this…it’s all just so off. The normal reaction would be to say “I’m so sorry it looked like that, I would never hurt her. We rough house and tease each other like that…” or some other such explanation and clear denial. Instead he responds with accusations of cyber bullying, which…I guess makes perfect sense given what we know of him now.
@Kacy +1, I watched/heard that and was quite confused. Like didn’t the traffic story get interrupted so the dentist could hear about every detail of the ride there (ahem, hopefully) and also some funny digressions about their family and, oh, look, now we’ve delayed everything another 15 minutes. A few minutes sounds incredibly disciplined, by observing my LA family and friends in the US.
It reminds me of a not nice person (and extremely privileged WM) talking about how he and his Puerto Rican wife schooled her cousin (from PR). They, knowing she was always late, let her offer to bring hors d’oeuvres for a dinner party and then started eating dinner at exactly on time, saying she had to learn how things are done here. She arrived 45 minutes after they started eating with some gorgeous hors d’oeuvres that they then didn’t eat. They intentionally didn’t warn her that they would start exactly on time and needed to come 45 minutes early. This also encapsulates their whole character, btw.
Honestly, I can’t tell what kind of relationship they have from this. Maybe the marriage is stale, maybe it’s abusive …who knows. But..impressed by Bublé speaking Spanish, fantastic!! I think they are bickering but it’s not abusive.
hmmm… to me it’s not impressive at all that after a decade with a spanish speaking spouse he can barely string a sentence together in spanish. She has to translate everything to him and for him. You would think he would have made more effort to learn for his wife, his kids, and the rest of the extended family.
bickering is not PHYSICAL, Dizzy…….
I never leave comments but I need to comment on this. I live in CT near several casinos and I know a girl who was once a massage therapist for high end clients there. Michael Buble’ was once performing at the casino years ago and he went to her for a massage. When she entered the room, he made a disgusted face and told her that he needed someone else because she was not attractive enough to work with him. She said he was truly the biggest jerk she’s ever had to deal with. This was about 10 years ago or more and that story has always stuck with me. He is not a nice person and I can COMPLETELY believe he’s not a nice husband, either. People saying this is playful and I can’t understand seeing this video and thinking that.
If this is true I guess he doesn’t realize he bears an overwhelming resemblance to an Ewok
👏👏👏
Hahaha, I do agree! And I cannot help but think of that story whenever my mom or someone says how charming and handsome he is. Douche!
He was always an arrogant asshole. When his toddler son had cancer, Buble softened alot. I see he is back to his asshole self.
All of the Spanish speakers insulting him in Spanish on his public IG account are giving me life right now. I hope he is entering each sentence into Google Translate and sweating in his little boy shorts.
It’s weird for sure. She has been with him since she was pretty young if I recall correctly. Maybe it’s all so normal to her that she doesn’t realize this is not ok? Is he even still a thing? I know he had a Christmas album a while back but I don’t get why he is still around