As fans and celebrities continue to process the untimely death of Chadwick Boseman, more information is coming out his 2016 cancer diagnosis. Many of his friends, directors and co-stars had no idea that he had been suffering with chemo and radiation treatment along with extensive surgeries. The Hollywood Reporter speaks with several people from Chad’s inner circle who knew about his illness. They explain why he kept it a secret and why he felt he had to push through the pain of treatment and a rigorous work schedule.
His battle with cancer was kept extremely private. Close collaborators like Black Panther helmer Ryan Coogler and Da 5 Bloods director Spike Lee have said they didn’t know about his health struggles. Those who were aware included a very tight-knit group of friends and members of his team, including producing partner Logan Coles, longtime agent Michael Greene of Greene & Associates Talent Agency and trainer Addison Henderson.
“I used to tell Chad, ‘Man, you remind me of my dad,'” says Henderson, who watched his own father beat cancer four times. “‘You guys are fighters, and you never stop moving forward.’ For us, it was just like, ‘Let’s keep going, let’s keep doing what you want to do, let’s keep training.’ And then, me and Logan and his family, his wife [Taylor Simone Ledward], we were always just here to support him.”
Henderson says that despite his diagnosis, Boseman chose to make the most of each day and give his career his all: “He was just living his artistic life to the fullest and using his time and his moment to really affect people.”
According to Greene, the decision to keep Boseman’s cancer battle under wraps came partly from his mother, Carolyn. (She and her husband, Leroy, raised him in Anderson, South Carolina.) “[She] always taught him not to have people fuss over him,” says Greene. “He also felt in this business that people trip out about things, and he was a very, very private person.”
“Some people wait a lifetime to get the opportunity that he had,” adds Henderson, “and Chad had so much wisdom, so much knowledge, so much inside of him that he wasn’t going to let this disease stop him from telling these amazing stories and showing his art in the prime of his life.”
Though part of what Chad did was honorable, in my honest opinion it is truly sad when a parent raises a child to feel they can’t center themselves in their own lives. Yes, there is a fine line between being centered and being self-absorbed but our pain matters. Black children are often taught that we need to sacrifice ourselves for others and that we do not matter. At some point we need to discuss why Black people in particular feel a need to hide our pain and not burden others while carrying the weight of other people’s baggage.
I hope that Chad knew he mattered and that he decided to push past his pain for his own reasons. It’s very possible that insurance considerations and not wanting to deal with people’s pity and scrutiny were also behind his decision not to disclose his illness.
Thanks for making me cry on a Friday 😭
+1000000000
Right? First my friend tells me that her dad, who has been dealing with health issues for a while, is dying and only has a few days (if that) left, and now reading this…At this rate my tear ducts are going to dry out before the day is through
Sorry to hear that
Thank you, I appreciate that
We had a dear friend who didn’t tell anyone except his wife and children about his diagnosis. When he passed, we were all stunned. He told his wife that he didn’t want people to treat him any differently. He also didn’t want to have to say goodbye to everyone. I can’t imagine how draining it must be for someone who is dying to have to say their goodbyes to everyone they know.
My aunt died last night. She didn’t tell anyone, even her children, about her cancer until 3 weeks ago and didn’t take any visitors but her children, only phone calls. Some people prefer to keep it quiet.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
Oh, Aang, so sorry for your loss.
my condolences.
My aunt who passed from colon cancer this year, did not want most of the family to know either. She was always like that. whenever she had pain as a child & teenager, she’d suffer in silence. 🙁
I know. I have a friend who did the same thing with his cancer treatment, although he survived and to this day most people have no idea what he went through, including his own parents. I only know because his wife told me in a moment where she felt like she couldn’t carry the burden of that secret alone anymore.
I was going to say I think a lot of people, maybe more often men than women but I don’t know, hide their illnesses. They don’t want to be pitied or perceived as weak or treated differently. Or have the illness at the center of every conversation. And probably at a deeper level they can’t handle other people’s fear and sadness on top of their own. One of my good friends has been battling colorectal cancer for about a year and a half now and he actually has gone the other way with it sending regular detailed updates about the treatment plans and surgeries to his group of friends and maintaining a very positive attitude about beating it. As a friend I really appreciate being able to check in on him and his wife and I think it’s very cool that he has let himself be vulnerable and let people emotionally support him. (This is not a comment on Chadwick’s decision not to – it’s a completely different circumstance, he’s in the public eye, helming an action franchise, etc.)
I have a lot of admiration for anyone struggling with a cancer diagnosis and whatever way they decide to deal with it is ultimately their choice. I could see not telling anyone, it would be easier to live each day without the drama of saying goodbye to everyone.
My mother-in-law was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer at 98 last December. The first thing she did was run to her lawyer and change her will, leaving everything to her favorite son. So much drama at a shocking and upsetting time and it happened during the holiday season to boot. It was a real blow to the rest of the extended family, since that would never have been my father-in-law’s wish and he created the estate. Then she has refused to allow any of us to visit her, but Favorite Son sometimes keeps us posted. But, as I said, everyone has the right to deal with the situation as they see fit. I can tell you how she’ll be remembered though, when her time comes. Favorite Son has already told his extended family that he intends to do what his father would have wanted him to do with the estate after his mother finally checks out.
@vava , such a crazy story but I’m glad the “Favorite Son” has a different idea than your mother in law
It really is a crazy situation, and very hurtful to the extended family. But, Favorite Son, is a good person and he knows what she did is wrong. My husband was absolutely crushed when his mother did this to not only him, but her grandchildren. (those grandchildren are all Favorite Son’s kids.)
Over the years I’ve tried to keep my distance from her. But even I was surprised at her behavior. When you look up the words “malignant narcissist” in the dictionary, you’ll see her picture right there with Donald Trump’s. She’s a sociopath, too.
Vava, do you think she’s actually sick? From how you’ve described her, this seems like something a malignant narcissist would cook up.
@megs283, she is sick and she’s dying. Stage IV tumors. She’s had to have her lungs drained of fluid three times. She’s on immunotherapy and yet she isn’t asking to see her son (my husband) for any last visit. She’s 98 and will be 99 in December if her drugs carry her that long.
Very often it depends on what exactly is going on. Celebrity or not, patients and their families make the decisions that are best for them under extremely trying circumstances and those decisions need to be respected.
I still have a hard time believing that Chad is dead…..I know it is real but it is so wrong
I agree with you. It is kind of sad that he never said anything because of his moms wishes. He probably just didn’t want to hurt her more. This is so tragic.
I just think he wanted to keep this private because he wanted his privacy and he didn’t want to be drained by the constant comments. Also, maybe he didn’t want to become “that cancer guy who we feel sorry for”. Which is so so understandable. Often when you’re sick you end up having to console everyone around you, and you don’t have the space to console yourself.
Great loss, I have a deep respect for him.
I agree. I don’t think it was a self-esteem issue at all. He is a famous person who wanted his privacy. He didnt need to fight this in public. He didnt need to be the face of colon cancer. He didnt owe the public this. Not to mention he had a career he, I assume, loved and didnt want to disrupt. He chose privacy, and we need to respect that decision.
That’s a really beautiful way of putting it that people who are sick or grieving have to console others when they need that energy to console themselves. What an amazing talent he had and I hope people grant his close friends and family privacy to grieve. I’m glad for him that his choice to keep his diagnosis and health private was honored by those around him. It’s obvious that he was very loved. We were all lucky to have him as an artist for the brief time we did.
I agree. He was a private man, and he wanted his reputation to be about his work and the things he was proud of. I don’t think he wanted the interviews and so on to be centered around his illness, but rather on his craft and the messages he was conveying. That’s what was important to him.
I concur. It’s exhausting having people feel sorry for you and managing other people’s feelings about death and illness when you are going through it yourself. The man wanted privacy so who are we to pick apart the choices that led him there? He got the support he needed from close family and that’s what counts.
Very true.
One of my best friends died from lung cancer 18 years ago. He said the most difficult part of it was consoling his wife and his close friends. I could see keeping it private if I ever was in that situation because I saw what he went through and it really drained him.
Heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing all these amazing photos and for your thoughtful insights.
As a white woman, I can’t speak to what Black children are taught but I will say that having grown up with a mother who made everything about herself and made her children feel like their main priority in life was to take care of her, I would not share a diagnosis like Chadwick’s with most people either, mostly so that my kids wouldn’t feel guilt ridden if they couldn’t be with me every step of the way. Also, I am uncomfortable with being the center of attention. I mean I hated to be pregnant at work, for example, because of the personal attention it brought to me.
Chadwick’s upbringing surely played a part in how he handled his diagnosis but I am guessing the added element of a high profile career and his growing fan base played a big part, too. I can’t imagine what life as a celeb is like and when a life-threatening illness is added to the mix I could see why he would want to keep it as private as possible. I truly hope that the people who did know showered him with the love he deserved.
@esmom, I wonder too if he kept the secret because he wanted to keep working at his pace. I can see how creating stories, particularly stories that are representative for BIPOC, is really meaningful work. If the secret was out, he might be forced to slow down or not be offered these opportunities at all. I imagine he was driven by this scenario, and didn’t want to let it dampen the effect that his portrayals brought to his community. The fact he was still visiting hospitals and prioritized serving others despite his own struggle and pain is a testament to his tenacity and dedication.
Makes sense. And absolutely, Noodle.
As soon as this news came out I wondered if he was paying cash for treatment…keeping it off his insurance in the hope film insurance wouldn’t pick up on it…and he’d still be able to work…
Some with cancer or a serious illness tell everyone- sometimes as a way to remind those with whom they interact the importance of screenings, self-exams or to ensure that they get the supports they need. Both are admirable approaches.
Some tell only a select few before, during, and after treatment. I chose this approach- I wanted to focus on healing after a mastectomy and completing rounds of chemo and radiation. I wasn’t denying my self or attempting to ignore my pain. I preferred to get through, return to health, and then, thrive without 50+ acquaintances knowing everything about my health or treatment.
So imagine that writ large as an accomplished artist….I’d take exactly the same approach. Rather than denying his value or feeling obligated to hide his pain, he might have opted to focus on his preference for privacy and for holding close those he loved and those who loved him. That, too, is an admirable choice.
Ryan Coogler was still writting BP 2 with Chadwick in mind,who must have been in quite the later stages of his cancer and Spike Lee said he had no idea. My question is how is this even possible with studio health insurance?
I had wondered that too but in a previous hollywood reporter story they asked an industry insurer about it and apparently it’s more than possible! He said especially some of the really deep pocketed big studios (hello Disney and Marvel and Netflix) don’t bother with insurance of that sort because they can afford to shoulder a delay. So they really did not know!
Wow that’s crazy ! Honestly I assumed when he passed that at least Marvel knew for insurance purposes
Some with cancer or a serious illness tell everyone- sometimes as a way to remind those with whom they interact the importance of screenings, self-exams or to ensure that they get the supports they need. Both are admirable approaches.
Some tell only a select few before, during, and after treatment . I chose this approach- I wanted to focus on healing after a mastectomy and completing rounds of chemo and radiation. I wasn’t denying my self or attempting to ignore my pain. I preferred to get through, return to health, and then, thrive without 50+ acquaintances knowing everything about my health or treatment.
So imagine that writ large as an accomplished artist….I’d take exactly the same approach. Rather than denying his value or feeling obligated to hide his pain, he might have opted to focus on his preference for privacy and for holding close those he loved and those who loved him. That, too, is an admirable choice.
That’s true, Julia. At the end of the day, it was still his choice and he was able to accomplish so much. From the moment of his diagnosis, his illness became something he lived with, but did not define his entire existence.
Your sentiments are beautifully expressed
The public aren’t entitled to info on health status so glad that Chadwick had great friends and family who respected his privacy.
There was an actor on his Spike Lee movie who talked about thinking Chadwick was precious because he had a masseuse on set& then teared up in the interview discussing pain Chadwick was likely in and feeling bad for pre-judging him. Just shows we never know what someone is going through so need to be mindful of that.
Chadwick seemed like a beautiful soul and hopefully he found solace in completing these movies& leaving these projects as a legacy.
My husband is stage 4 and we have not yet told our 11 year old daughter. Until there is absolutely no hope…she can just enjoy her dad.
I am so sorry. All my thoughts- sorry, can’t think of any other words. 💐
I am so sorry you all are going though that. I hope you all have the best treatment options and support.
I’m sorry you are going through that, it’s awful. But I hope you reconsider your decision. My dad died when I was 7 and my brother 10, he didn’t want to tell us what he had, mum had to twist his arm 2 months before his death to tell us he was dying and still didn’t disclose his full diagnosis and it was rough especially for my brother… Kids know when something is going on and your husband might need assistance at some point while only your child is around so it’d be good for her to be aware (it happened to me). And it’ll give her time to adjust, ask questions, figure things out even if all, hopefully, goes well.
I really don’t want you to feel like I’m judging your choice, it’s an awful situation and you’re trying to do the best of it; I’ve been in your daughter’s position and I struggled with my parents’ decisions
We are not opposed to never telling her…it’s just when the time is right, when we are out of options. She is devoted to her dad. He’s had IBS since she was little so she thinks that all his doctor’s appointments are about that. Right now he’s responded well to treatment . I just don’t want to burden her with worry before she absolutely has to be told. She’s carefree right now and I guess I want to keep her that way for as long as possible.
I’m so sorry,it’s an awful thing to be going through. I hope I’m not going to sound judgemental but I lost my dad to cancer when I was 13 and I hope you’ll reconsider your decision. My parents hid my father’s illness from me until they couldn’t,which was only six weeks before his death. This was 15 years ago and I made peace with the fact that my dad left this earth way too soon but I’m still not fully over being lied to for such a long time. It was very hard to deal with my grief (obviously) but it was made even more difficult by how sudden it was and how betrayed I felt. Honestly, I love my mother but deep down I still hold it against her. Again,I understand why you see things this way and I can tell you want to protect your daughter but please consider the impact this might have on her in the future.
Elisabeth I support your decision – I, like several others who are commenting, lost my father to cancer when he was only 43 (I was 13, 12 when he was diagnosed) and sometimes I wish I was kept in ignorance instead of being in the loop on everything. I couldn’t talk to my friends without it coming up, which at that super self-conscious age, I just retreated into myself more and more. That year was absolute SHIT and for me, I was stressed out all the time worried about my dad and my mom who was not coping well. We had other problems (my dad became suicidal during treatment, he was depressed and the treatment program he was on took a hard toll on him). Whatever decisions you and your husband choose is your decision – you guys know your family best. It’s a tough situation, you do your best, and that’s all you can do. Every family is different. My best to you.
Totally agree.
I’m so sorry you had that experience, sounds really devastating.
Elisabeth, sending positive vibes your direction and I hope your husband makes it. Much love.
What I’m not going to do is 2nd guess the way he lived his life. He was nurtured in the way that felt good to him. I believe black people need to take space and be centered and cared for but also to the degree that we feel comfortable.
We are shocked by the loss! We have been chastened. We know we need to be present and give me love, kindness, and affection at every opportunity.
This exactly. The people he wanted to know, he told. Everyone else, it was none of their business. He made these choices, and there’s no need to question them.
Considering he was also a public figure, he probably didn’t want paparazzi chasing him looking for that “OMG look how sick he is photo” and harassing his friends, his family, his team, etc.
That is so true. I remember people commenting on the last pictures of Patrick Swayze (and for those of us in the UK, remember Jade Goody).
It was ghoulish.
That was my point. Not to second guess his need for privacy but taking a moment to let black ppl know that it is ok to center themselves and to teach our kids that. My mom raised me not to center myself and my adulthood has been difficult because of it. I also see it often in other black ppl. The fact that he was sick, in pain and hurting yet spent all night helping his friend go over lines was what I was talking about. Honorable but also not taking care of oneself in the process.
So sad even though I understand his desire for privacy as he dealt with it and not wanting a fuss.
He doesn’t even need a reason. It was his choice. I am impressed it didn’t leak. His circle clearly loved and respected him. But I’m also surprised it didn’t leak from someone outside his circle- perhaps people at doctor’s offices or healthcare workers. I know, HIPAA, but that hasn’t stopped some of them before. I’m grateful that his choice was respected.
Honestly I was also chocked it didn’t leak from a doctor’s office. But maybe he didn’t go to typical “hollywood” offices
I have Stage 4 incurable bone cancer. I’m often debilitated due to the pain; so on those days I don’t see anybody so they don’t ask questions.
I have a close inner circle that are aware and they are my support group. Having advanced cancer can do a real number on your head, everyone reacts differently.
I don’t know what to say except that I couldn’t scroll past without sending love your way, as you go through this your way.
Thank you so much ❤️
I couldn’t scroll past either without the same urge as Red Dog. I am in awe of the strength and courage you are displaying and also send love your way.
Sending you love and warm healing light 🌅
Jennyjenny, sending love your direction. You sound like an amazing person.
JennyJenny.
Sending you warm and healing light as well while you walk through a journey that is beyond understanding
sending you love from this bottom of my heart.
I want to wish you well. I wish you days that are pain free, and sun light on your face to make you feel its warmth. Thank you for sharing your story so that we could send you love and light. I hope you get to enjoy things that will make you content and bring you peace… xoxox
My grandmother kept her cancer diagnosis mostly private, telling only certain people. She knew from experience when my grandfather was sick that it tends to draw people out of the woodwork. She was uncomfortable and in pain and didn’t want to be bothered by people she hadn’t seen in a while. In her words, “if they didn’t have the time when I was well and could have enjoyed a visit, I don’t need to see them now”. She just didn’t have the strength at the end for anyone other than her immediate family and a few close friends.
I understand wanting to keep it private. When you’re dealing with your own illness, it can be too much having to deal with how other people feel about it, or feeling like you have to ease their discomfort or sadness about your pain.
I hope they didn’t feel like they needed to explain, because they really, really didn’t. Privacy boundaries are underrated in this day and age! ❤️
My sister kept her cancer and treatments private for a number of reasons. Firstly, we had a narcissistic mother who would have made it all about HER so it was far less exhausting to say nothing to her. And secondly, my sister found that the few people who she did tell immediately started telling her awful stories about people who had had cancer and then died of it! I ask you….if you can’t help someone be upbeat then keep your opinions to yourself. Cancer is a vicious foe that the person who has it has to spend all their energy combating. They don’t have the energy or the time to be dealing with idiots.
This is infuriating and heartbreaking at the same time.
I was the opposite. I had a friend diagnosed with breast cancer and I told her the stories about al my friends who lived after their treatments.
I’m convinced that Marvel Studios would have cast another actor as Black Panther had they known of his health related issues. Hollywood can be merciless.
Stuart Scott, my generation’s cool guy on espn, fought and died of cancer. And while he was fighting, toward the end they gave him a courage award at the espys, and he gave an amazing speech that i am now choking up just thinking about, but in part, he said that dying doesn’t mean you lost the battle with cancer. Every day you live and fight, you win.
But, he said it better.
I feel like if he had chosen to go public, Mr. Boseman would have echoed Mr. Scott’s sentiments.
And, now i’m crying at work.
Stuart Scott’s death still hurts.
Cancer is horrible and I wish is will just go away.
People have the right to their privacy. I still can’t believe he passed away. We needed more good people like him on this earth.
My uncle was a renown animation producer on some very popular and very well known animated series. He also, unfortunately, was in a bad relationship with a man he obsessed over who led him on a dark path towards using crystal meth in sex clubs… and, he contracted HIV and syphilis. Ugly stuff. He was up for an animated movie that would have been a huge deal and he had to hide his diagnosis because the studio wouldn’t insure him on the set if they knew that he was in the middle of a health crisis.
I have to believe that the reason Chadwick kept his cancer private, beyond all the beautiful and heroic reasons that this really lovely person also most likely did keep quiet for too, was to get insured by the studios to play his most iconic role.
I kept my cancer diagnosis secret from people. I only told my family and my closest circle of friends and work associates. I didn’t want a lot of fuss or people looking at me differently. I wanted the vibe around me to be normal, and people will treat you differently if they hear you’re dealing with an illness, especially cancer. So, I get it. People seem to think they are owed your diagnosis because you’re friends, but that’s not the case. I don’t have to share every single thing. Some people are salty about that. I can’t help them nor will I apologize for it.
Well said, Oya!
@ Oya – Preach girl, preach
Black children are often taught that we need to sacrifice ourselves for others and that we do not matter. At some point we need to discuss why Black people in particular feel a need to hide our pain and not burden others while carrying the weight of other people’s baggage.
Thank you for getting it.
I’m sure I’m going to be inundated with attacks after this, but a very large piece of this could be insurance. The filmmakers would need to know about the health of leading actors for the very obvious reason that a lead actor dying (or going into treatment) in the middle of a multi-million dollar film would be disastrous…and hugely expensive. It’s hard to believe none of the directors of his films didn’t know.
Insurance can be negotiated if an actor has a chronic condition (though most times they won’t be considered because of the risk) but an actor who was terminal keeping it a secret?
Maybe he took out private insurance making the producers the beneficiary…but who knows?
I said that at the end. But someone posted above that in an article on THR that an industry insider said that when it came to large productions like Black Panther it would not have been a problem. I think it was a combo of many things. Cultural socialization, privacy, living in the moment – only he knew why. This article is more on exploring black cultural socializing of children. His mother did nothing wrong. She raised him like most black parents raise their children. The man in my opinion in his life and death will create cultural shifts. And that should be celebrated;
I’m not sure whether I’d tell anyone or not, to be honest. Any health issues I’ve had in the past, I’ve kept quiet about. Though mine thus far have paled in comparison to having a life changing diagnosis like cancer. It’s hard to know without being in that position. Just so sad.
I think there’s one more factor, and that is that he didn’t feel sure it was going to be terminal. He expected to survive it at least in remission and make Black Panther 2, or he expected to survive it all together. And he sure wouldn’t tell anyone then for all the reasons listed above by others. It’s so wrong that he didn’t survive it. it makes me furious when I think about what’s walking around out there. But, he didn’t, and I’m sure he hoped to. so he guarded it so he wouldn’t be pigeonholed by it.
I agree. He was a positive person and I have no doubt he expected to beat it and he fought a good fight obviously. Cancer is a “boil on the butt of humanity.” I have been trying so hard since this happened to not wonder out loud about the awful that’s still walking around while this decent human being is gone too soon.
I saw a woman on CNN this past week, on Don Lemon’s show. I think she is a publicist or something because she talked about the cast of Black Panther doing press things. Anyway she said he had already finished filming BP before his diagnosis. I can understand his and anyone’s desire to deal with a major health issue privately. It’s a person’s decision on how they want to live their life.
Allow me to offer a different interpretation. The circle of family and friends around Chadwick Boseman gave him an incredible gift. They supported him and let him practice his art. I am an artist. I am not famous and have made no major bank. But I am never more alive than when I am practicing my art at the top of *my* game. It is like climbing to the top spire of Notre Dame or the Vatican or the peak of Everest and clinging there. And in that place there is a clarity, an energy, a source of pure light that fuels and embraces everything else in my life. I think that he *did* center himself and his purpose. And his family and friends centered him. And the greatest gift of being an artist is that by listening to that inner voice and giving yourself permission to live that art you leave a gift to so many others. So thank you Chadwick Boseman for having the courage to fight through your pain and live your life to the fullest as an artist. And thank you to his family and friends for helping him leave us the precious gift of his brilliant performances.
In one of his interviews, he is asked if training for the Marvel action films is gruelling (i think he was doing Captain America Winter Soldier and another at the same time) and he told the interview – “You dont know the half of it; one day i will LIVE to tell my story.” Its a phrase; but its a phrase with meaning given the context. He had hoped to beat it. He had every reason to live. The possibility of a family life, career taking off, great faith in God, a purpose in life. He wanted to live. Doesnt everyone? Especially when handed the death sentence by doctors? We always hope illness does not have the final say. I think he didnt tell people because he hoped he would beat it and live to encourage others. He is allowed his right to privacy too. When you are ill, knowing others are stressed because of you can be equally stressing on anyone. Miss you Chad. Rest in eternal peace.
I respect that Chadwick and his close friends kept his diagnosis and fight against cancer private. Chadwick didn’t owe the world more than a good performance and charming interviews every now and then.
I don’t agree with the idea that celebrities ‘owe’ the world anything. I know I’m on a celebrity site and I like reading about my faves, but they don’t need to tell me EVERYTHING. I love Angelina Jolie but I don’t know every single detail of her life and I’m okay with that. Personally, the people that think the world needs to know whether or not they had a bowel movement that morning (looking at you, Kardashians) are the scourge of the world.
I knew that Chadwick was sick from the pictures I saw. He chose not to share his business with us. He chose to die ON HIS OWN TERMS and I love and respect him for it.
Farewell, my King.
I have fought cancer since 1990, when I was given 6 months to live due to Stage 4/metastatic breast cancer. A Hail Mary pass in the form of a clinical trial saved my life, and allowed me to see my baby daughter grow into the amazing adult that she is! When I got my second diagnosis, I kept it very private because I hated that people treated me differently when they knew that I had cancer. There were those who said very stupid things, and others that just vanished. Pity was what got to me the most. The last thing that a person with cancer wants is pity. Show us love, support, kindness…..anything but pity.