CB has done the lion’s share of covering the mess that is the Jana Kramer/Mike Caussin relationship. For those that don’t know, the pair have a podcast called Whine Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin in which they air all their dirty laundry under the pretense of helping others. Only their situation is so extreme, I can’t think of anyone who could relate. Now, the couple has written a self-help book called The Good Fight. I’m going to say that again, slower – They’ve. Written. A. Self. Help. Book. So what kind of valuable lessons can we learn from Jana and Mike? How to file for divorce while away at rehab for sex addiction. The chapter they read on their podcast last weekend was about an incident in 2016, when Jana was appearing on DWTS and Mike was in rehab after Jana caught him in numerous affairs. While there, he served Jana with divorce papers. Why? Because he wanted to see their daughter.
Jana Kramer is opening up about a very difficult chapter in her marriage to Mike Caussin.
The singer, 36, spoke about the couple’s past marital struggles during Sunday’s episode of the Whine Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin podcast, revealing that her husband, 33, had actually filed for divorce in 2016 while she was competing on Dancing with the Stars and he was seeking treatment for sex addiction.
Reading a passage from her upcoming relationship self-help book with Caussin The Good Fight, Kramer said she found out about her husband’s divorce plans through her manager. At the time, she and Caussin had been separated for weeks.
“Mike was in rehab and I was in an all-out war with my emotions. Most days, I would push Mike out of my brain and tried to live in the world as if he didn’t exist. Other days I was too weak to push and I missed him, and I hoped he would be in the audience watching me perform, rooting for me,” she read from her book.
“Regardless of how I was feeling, whenever he would call me from rehab, I would lash out at him and tell him I didn’t want anything to do with him. I would hang up and realize that I had no idea what direction my life was headed in or what I should do. They only times that gave me calm was when I looked at our baby girl. I knew that regardless of the outcome, I wanted the best for her,” she said.
After being informed that Caussin had filed for divorce, Kramer said she “called him screaming, ‘How could you file for divorce? That’s what I’m supposed to do! How dare you!'”
“He replied with, ‘Jana, you won’t let me see our daughter,'” Kramer described. “It’s true. He had called asking to see her, as it had already been two months since their last visit, I was so desperate to keep close to me the one thing that brought me calm, that even though I knew it was wrong and could hurt him, I said he couldn’t see her until I finished filming, which could take a month.”
The One Tree Hill alum wrote that “a voice in my head finally spoke up in defense of this man and our marriage” in that moment.
“I knew what I wanted,” she said, reading from her book. “‘No,’ I said to him, ‘I want to try.’ “
I haven’t read the book yet – I know, shocker! But what kind of lesson could come from any of that? Jana admits she was holding her daughter as collateral to payback the pain Mike had caused her, and Mike weaponized their marriage to gain access to the daughter? And the worst part is, it all worked – Mike got to see his kid and Jana realized she wanted to stay married. Were this an autobiography, that’d be one thing, but this is a self-help book, how in God’s name is any of that helpful? I’ve never been to rehab but what I’ve heard is that supposedly you are being taught coping devices so you can reenter life prepared to handle the challenges. I can’t imagine anything Mike did was endorsed by counselors or sponsors.
Normally I would cut more slack to a couple that has been to the wall and come back, but like many of you, I feel like Mike and Jana commodify their marital drama. And that’s fine for people who are entertained by train wrecks, but I’m worried for the unsuspecting person who buys this book for relationship advice. If curiosity has gotten the better of you, it’s due out on the 22nd of this month.
Photo credit: Instagram
He needs to just get a divorce and be a single player and she needs about three years of therapy to figure out why she would let anyone treat her so poorly. I can’t help but feel a little bad for her. I think we’ve all had a friend who just keeps going back to their loser partner. Over and over and over.
Well said. He is the surface level problem. She is the root of her own issues.
I feel so very sorry with people who lack self respect. When I scrolled past the photo of them on the boat my thought was “literally the whole world knows you don’t respect your wife, and you are not equals. The smiles are either fake or temporary. Why bother?”
Then looking at the photo of him signing books…. my god this is the bottom of the barrel.
Truth on all accounts. I just recently found pics of her when she was on one tree hill, never watched it and didn’t know anything about her outside of the batshit crazy I’ve read here but she was some much more striking as a brunette. Those blonde highlights just make her look like every other influencer.
Also, I do know some women that do that and I have never been able to comprehend or wrap my mind around staying with someone that treats you like that, thank goodness. I just don’t get it. If you are so miserable and bitch about your partner everyday what in the world are you doing with your life staying? And I’m not talking about physically violent relationships, because to me those are much different. Hence the reason why my FIL and I don’t get along. He’s a narcissistic a hole that treats my MIL like crap and she is so passive and rarely says a word. As far as I know he’s never physically done anything to her but he talks down to her and will make fun of her or berate her in front of anyone and she just takes it and he doesn’t care. But that’s their idea of what a Christian wife should look like so….
I used to be like this in my 20s. I didn’t put up with appalling behaviour because I was scared of being alone (the best 10 years of my life were spent single and I loved it). Rather, I had no boundaries, low self-esteem, and no standards. I’m 44 now, and can’t believe I put up with such shit back then. Their poor kids have a terrible example of adult relationships.
Yikes, textbook of toxic relationship.
Why would you want to live this way? Life is too short to be this unhappy. This relationship is terrible and she is clearly addicted to being victimized or something. It’s bad for both of them.
I don’t know of these two but they remind of the crazy that is Dax Shepard and Kristin Bell. Over sharing everything for attention and money.
Dax and Kristen definitely do it for the money. I don’t know who would listen to his podcast without them dishing on their relationship which also sounds quite toxic. They were living under the same roof, but didn’t speak for a week or something, if I remember correctly. Most people outgrow the silent treatment in elementary school.
They must really need the paycheck for how hard they exploit their crappy marriage. Why would anyone buy the book?! I mainly feel bad for the kids involved.
He is toxic and he filed for divorce to switch the roles—suddenly she was begging to have him back and he’d regained the “power” in the relationship. These two are going to destroy each other and their poor kids.
This this this 100 times this
EXACTLY. She’s trauma bonded to him, even though he hurts her repeatedly and clearly has no respect for her she wants him to be the one to comfort her and make her better. She’ll always go back to him no matter what he does, until she gets help. I almost feel bad for her, but the way she uses this situation for attention and money is sick. I can’t believe someone let them write a fkng self help book.
Yes, this. My God this girl is so oblivious.
I’m so glad someone else sees his bullshit power move!
Guys, their relationship is most likely only for show at this point and they’re just capitalizing on the media coverage that they get for being so dysfunctional. It’s actually pretty smart of them, at least it keeps them relevant (even if it’s “negatively” relevant).
Toxic AF. Shocked anyone would market this a a self-help book. Call it what it is: gossip.
She’s “opening up” about their relationship? They’ve never stopped yapping about it.
Woo I haven’t commented in a long while but I saw these two on a reality show or something. It was so sad how many times he has cheated on her bc he was jealous of the attention she was showing the kids or something like that. I once read that former athletes were the worst to marry bc they miss the constant adulation of fans and groupies and are constantly trying to fill that void with more sex. SMH
Speechless — a marriage self help tome? A podcast where they read aloud chapters?
That picture of him autographing the books— what a tool
Good Lord, a self help book from these 2 disasters.
Chapter 3 – what type of doormat do you want to be?
Chapter 5 – Snooping through phones 101
Chapter 8 – How to make a scrapbook of all your divorce filings
Chapter 12 – What it means when he cheats, for the fifth time
Chapter 15 – Life outside your relationship – just kidding, there’s no such thing
This made my day! Now that is a book that I would read.
I would like some more information on the chapter about scrapbooking your divorce filings. I mean I only have 1 but maybe it needs its own fancy scrapbook 🤣
Actually scratch that i will make the scrapbook for my ex, so he can stop texting me questions that can be found by *gasp* reading the divorce papers!
LOL make it a picture book for him, since he’s apparently having trouble reading it.
It’s only a matter of time before he gets caught cheating again, she needs to wake up and leave his sorry ass. No man is worth that amount of disrespect. I think it was just last year that she caught him sexting another woman and deleting the evidence, but he lied and said he had no idea who it was, or it was some stranger trying to taunt him, riiiiiight.
I hope no one buys this garbage, they shouldn’t make money off their toxic relationship. He should be ashamed of himself for not leaving her years ago like he obviously wants to. You don’t screw numerous women over and over if you love and respect your wife.
I follow her on IG and he’s in her stories quite a bit. The people who comment LOVE this couple and how wonderful it is that they worked so hard to get through their troubles and that’s what a real marriage is, how strong they are now and blah, blah, blah. It’s sad reading how many women will say they also have a serial cheating spouse in her comments and how much she’s “helped” them and how they are going to fight for their marriage too.
I will say, I think because of COVID he seems pretty involved with their kids and the house (he does his share of cooking/cleaning and seems engaged with the kids). Not so much her – he would rather do yard work then spend time with her on the weekends and she posts videos complaining about it.
He also doesn’t work outside of their home – I get the feeling she doesn’t allow him to go anywhere without her and if he could, I’m 100% certain he’d be back to cheating on her again.
Their poor child.
**children. I think they have two together. Scary, huh?
As someone who found out her husband was a sex addict after 7 years of marriage, I can understand the messy nature of this relationship. I made the choice to leave after my husband could not respect the boundaries I established while we were working on our relationship. It was absolutely the right thing for me do to, but it was still the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make. And, we didn’t have any children so I didn’t have to worry about that aspect of ending the relationship.
These two seem like a totally unhealthy mess, but I know first hand how much pressure there is on the spouse of a sex addict to stay, help, forgive, support etc. while he’s in recovery. It’s very difficult to stand up and say that you can’t do those things when the pressure is definitely on for you to stand by your man while he gets treatment for his “disease”. Even down to people comparing it to leaving your spouse if they got cancer.
All this to say, I have compassion for her situation, but these two should not be writing any relationship advice books.
Serious question–do you think that sex addiction is a “real disease?” That’s probably a terrible way to frame my question and I apologize in advance if that is in any way offensive, but I read an article recently that basically stated what you intimated at–that attributing the behaviors of chronic philanderers to a sex addiction just puts unfair pressure on the victimized spouse by shaming them into examining their own conduct and the situation in the marriage/relationship that they purportedly helped to create that led to the infidelity.
@Grant, I’m honestly not sure if I feel it’s a real disease or not. Unlike alcohol and drug addition which have true physical addictive components, sex addiction feels much less clear cut.
I know in my experience, the acting out behaviors were just the symptoms of his deeper issues. Of course it hurts to find out about your partner not being sexually faithful, but it was much harder for me to grapple with the lies and the sneaking and secrets. Whether or not he stopped engaging in inappropriate sexual behaviors (not illegal, just not okay in our relationship) the dishonesty, lack of trust, and control issues he had did not go away. That’s when I realized that his excuse that he had a “disease” was just another way to try and control me and disrespect my boundaries, while not really changing the things that brought on his acting out.
I can’t imagine how difficult that was. I’m glad you set boundaries and stuck to them though.
These two though, their messiness seems to be their career, and there’s something just so wrong about that – sharing all that for followers and book deals. The oversharing is going to greatly affect their kids, if it hasn’t already.
Wow people actually said that to you? That’s awful. I almost think it would be worse if a spouse had affairs due to sex addiction rather than some identifiable issue that can be worked through if you both want – because how would you ever know if they are better? How could you ever trust them? Same with any addiction really – drugs, gambling, alcohol. It’s unreasonable and unhealthy to expect a person to just stay and sacrifice their happiness and wellbeing no matter what harm their spouse’s behavior is causing.
@Kate, sadly there are a lot of people who think that keeping a marriage together is more important than treating yourself well. When he was first diagnosed I told my therapist and she said I would have to consider bringing other people in to our relationship to keep him happy. Obviously, I got a different therapist after that!
It feels like the focus of the whole world turns to the person with the disease when they are diagnosed. Much of what I read that was directed to partners of people with sex addiction talked more about how to support that person, than how to support yourself. Therapists and programs encourage you to wait at least a year before divorcing, putting all of the focus and timeline on the one with the addiction and on giving them enough space to recover before you end the relationship. I found this to be an unbearable position and after having my life revolve around his thoughts, needs, actions, therapy, support groups etc. for 9 months I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to leave the marriage to save myself because there just wasn’t enough focus and support on how he/the relationship had impacted me.
Clearly they both have serious issues and need to be open to a lot of therapy and self-reflection if they want to get to a healthy place. Evidence to date suggests they don’t and they are too busy monetising the relationship to do what is best for them and their family. That’s what stops my sympathy for them.
This is what happens when you don’t do your own personal work and stay in a toxic situation for too long. You actually believe that this is better than getting a divorce and finding a better situation. Divorce is not the worse thing that can happen to a child. Staying in a bad marriage when one’s daughter learns that a woman should take emotional abuse, (and serial cheating is emotional abuse in my book), is a horrible example, and they are fooling themselves if they think what they are doing is the best thing for the kids, because it’s not.
Good Lord… Frick & Frack wrote a self help book?! What’s next? “Managing a Pandemic 101” by Donald Trump? These two just need to call it quits. The only relationship they need to be focusing on is their co-parenting relationship.
I still follow her on Instagram purely for the messiness. She does seem like a really nice person, but ugh…I just feel sorry for her. They seem happy-ish in quarantine but I think that’s because he can’t go cheat on her as easily, tbh. They continue to commodify their toxic relationship, though, and I can’t even fathom who would want this book for genuine guidance.
Wow, both are extremely abusive. I can’t believe a publisher signed off on this.
Whatever the outcome, she wanted what was best for their daughter? And that’s why she used her infant daughter as a pawn to punish her husband’s cheating, instead of acknowledging that he might be a lousy spouse but clearly loves his daughter, and finding a way to maintain a positive relationship with him and ensure they’re daughter had time with both of them?
FFS, she’s a nasty piece of work, and he’s obviously pretty terrible as well.
That is a legit reason to file for divorce.
I mean, if every time he tried to talk to her, she screamed at him and told him she wanted nothing to do with him, then why wouldn’t he take that at face value?
From his point of view, the marriage was over (regardless of whether he wanted it to be over) and until he got the court to grant him custody, he wasn’t going to see his kid again. He wasn’t “weaponizing his marriage”; he was taking steps to claim his parental rights, which were being unilaterally denied him.
But yeah, they shouldn’t still be together, and they shouldn’t be giving anyone relationship advice.