This will come as a surprise to no one, but The Enquirer cover story that claimed that Jennifer Aniston finally confronted Brad Pitt after two years was based on completely fabricated “insider” quotes. I know, it’s a shocker!

Every week I see the tabloid covers come out on popbytes and get my hopes up that there will be some juicy new bombshell story, and each time I’m disappointed. Even in this instance I expected some smidgen of evidence that this was true, but there’s absolutely nothing. It just sounds like a weak version of the awesome criticism you guys hurl at the Brangelina side of this long-standing infidelity feud just about every day. (Not that I give a shit about either party at this point. It’s old news to me.)

Supposedly Jennifer Aniston lit into Brad for claiming that they were still good friends when they haven’t talked since the divorce, but all they have are quotes from a “friend” who happened to be privy to the entire non-conversation to back it up. The story is mostly filler background details about their split and the suspicious timing of Brad and Angie’s hookup. Of course Aniston is featured prominently on the cover, since it’s now known that she sells more copies, even when people put words in her mouth:

Two years after their divorce was final, Jen has launched a blistering attack on her ex husband, telling him loud and clear: “I HATE YOU!”

The 38-year-old actress politely held her tongue when Brad claimed in a recent interview that they were still close, and also when Angelina Jolie cooed that she’d “welcome” a meeting with Jen…

But now Jen has had enough…

A friend reveals Jen finally exploded when she heard that Brad pronounced she needed “to move on with her life.”

“Jen was absolutely incensed,” said the friend, who knows both Brad and Jen. “She said: ‘How dare he try to pretend everything is great between us?'”

According to the friend, a fiery Jen raged: ‘What right does Brad have to keep saying these things? Angelina can say all she likes that she didn’t steal my husband, and Brad can try and say he was all innocent. But you do the math! It doesn’t take much working out.'”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Ocobter 29, 2007]

The article also claims that Jen is pissed that Brad has become this big philanthropist when she “knows Brad’s lazy side and how much dope he smoked.”

From what I understand, it’s perfectly legal for gossip magazines to claim they have a source and to just make stuff up. Photographs can be a source, the guy in the next cubicle can be a source, the janitor can be a source. It really doesn’t matter and just claiming someone said something doesn’t mean it’s true. You could see Aniston saying this, it’s only how anyone would react, but whether she’s still harping on it even given the fact that Brad recently made statements about her is up to question.

Angelina is facing off against Jennifer Aniston on competing covers of W Magazine this month, which features nine signed celebrity headshots by Richard Prince in separate versions of the November “Art Issue.” US Magazine is already declaring Aniston the winner, given the news that her cover issues outsell everyone else’s.

This fact is not lost on Star Magazine, and there’s a juicy new story that Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn are having secret trysts after their breakup. A reader e-mailed me the text, and I’ll cover that shortly. Like most tabloid stories, though, it has just a little bit of substance and a lot of wishful thinking.