Joe Francis’ website, MeetJoeFrancis.com compared to Heather Mills’ website, youcare.com

In the comments on JayBird’s post about Heather Mills stupid TV rant on the media, I mentioned that she STFU and just start a website if she wanted to refute the supposedly false statements about her divorce details and shady character made by the British press. Well her sister started a website, and it’s just as confrontational and obnoxious as Mills’ personality. It’s a giant red flash monstrosity that attempts to fight tabloid fire with website fire, and will just blow up in Mills’ expensively-molded face.

Compare the design and wording on Heather Mills’ website to the masterpiece of Joe Francis’ well-designed and overly-narrative website. Francis is charged with using underage women in his Girls Gone Wild videos, with tax evasion, and with smuggling contraband into jail and trying to bribe a guard. The guy has been in jail for months, but he’s smart and he knows how to win over the public. He put out a professional-looking site that states the facts without attacking anyone. It’s too wordy and hard to get through, but he made a sincere effort even though it smacks of suck up like Eddie Haskell in a suit holding a cake.

Heather Mills goes apeshit mad on the Internet, just like in real life. Her website is designed to look like the tabloids that feed her anger, and the wording is characteristically super defensive and obnoxious. Instead of focusing on specific attacks against her, she tries to turn it into this general boycott of The Sun, as if they’re defaming average people instead of just celebrities. She calls the negative articles about her a “Human Rights Violation” in super-big red highlighted text. Even her domain name, youcare.com, makes it seem like everyone should be oh-so-worried about poor liar Heather and her widdle millionaire problems:

Human Rights Violation
There has been such a barrage of libelous articles printed against Heather that it became impossible to take action against every offending article and publication, as to pursue all of these in the courts would have been extremely expensive, emotionally exhausting and impossibly time consuming. This barrage of abuse constituted a human rights violation and has highlighted the need for greater protection of the individual in regards to their privacy in the British Justice System. Without this greater protection it seems our newspapers have become the propaganda machines of the powerful. There are however three outstanding libel actions against British Newspapers by Heather Mills.

[From youcare.com]

Get the f*** over yourself, Heather. If you would just make your skinny ass scarce for a while you could avoid the majority of the negative stories about you. As it is, you seem to get off on seeing your name in print even though it enrages you. If you didn’t have a cause to fight for, though, you would be super bored. That’s why you bait the press because you get off on the negative attention.

Check out some of these characteristics of bullies and see if it doesn’t describe Heather:

is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment

has a Jekyll and Hyde nature – is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature – only the current target of the serial bully’s aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as “charming” and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as “evil”; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act

excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive

uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)

is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form – but there’s no substance

is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict

is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic

[From BullyOnline.com]

Of course most of that could also apply to Francis, but he’s smart enough to realize that you can dress it up and hide it on the Internet.