When will Lil Nas X drop his skincare routine? I really want to know what products he uses because his skin is always so beautiful and moisturized. Nas covers the latest issue of Out Magazine to promote his album, Montero. That’s his real name – Montero Lamar Hill. He speaks to Out about the duality of being Nas and Montero, but the bulk of this interview is about how he found himself and began to own his identity of a Black, Southern queer man. The Southern community and the Black community are both behind the times when it comes to LGBTQ+ acceptance, and Nas acknowledges that struggle. Plus, he’s a queer musical artist in a genre dominated by straight artists. It’s a lot. Nas talks about the reaction to kissing a man on-stage at the BET Awards and a lot more. Some highlights from Out:
On the BET Awards: “Going to this place with all these overly masculine rappers and you’re finna be in there throwing a little ass every now and then, touching on dudes and hugging them and kissing them…at some points I was like, ‘Should I even do this? I don’t feel like they’re going to love me like that.’ [People always say] go where you’re accepted and stuff like that, but you can’t always just go where you’re accepted. You’ve got to go and break down those walls and say, ‘This is my space now too.’”
Southern man: “Growing up in the Atlanta area, I [saw] a lot of microaggressions towards homosexuality. Little things like going into an IHOP and hearing one of your family members say, ‘Look at those fa–ots’ to two people eating or even just a small [statement like] ‘Boys don’t cry.’ Little sh-t like living in the hood, not being super into sports, and then having to go outside and pretend that I was.”
The draining part of breaking through as a Black queer man: “Mentally, it’s really draining and straining sometimes. The pressure of living your entire life knowing the identity of what a rapper is supposed to be, what rappers [are supposed to] do, and going out there in front of all these people, it’s terrifying. [The BET performance] was like jumping in a lake full of sharks and piranhas — and I’ve had to do that so many times within these last three years. Even coming out, that was terrifying. When I put on the costume of Nicki, terrifying.”
He’s resilient but he struggles too: “I won’t pretend like I’m never sad or anything. I’ve had a bunch of hard times this past week, after that performance and before the performance. But for me, that’s life, and one thing I 100 percent never do when I’m in these down moments is go to social media with them. Because I know that they’re going to pass, and what a lot of people like to do is use that against you. Growing up, I didn’t realize it, but I’ve always been kind of my own hand on my own shoulder. I’ve had to keep a lot of secrets, and I can only share those things with myself. So, I had to lift myself up when I was down, from f–king 9 years old, because I don’t feel like me and my dad ever had a super emotional connection after he got custody of me and my brother, and I didn’t really get that with my mom and my siblings.”
Is he Nas or is he Montero? “I’m turning into Montero more and more, day by day. I named the album after myself because there are a lot of things I’ve been going through and dealing with and wanting to say. I wanted to let sides of myself show that I’ve been afraid of people seeing for so long. I’m still not my full self, but that fear of the people around you that you’re the closest to and loving the most not understanding why you’re doing what you’re doing, that’s something we just have to let go of. All of this is in pursuit of becoming my full self, more and more.”
I find him so impressive, don’t you? The way he carries himself online and in life, in the music industry, in Atlanta and beyond. Especially for someone so young – he’s only 22 years old and he understands that some ceilings need to be broken and how he has to be the one to do it. The mix of vulnerability and swagger… well, I just love him. I love “Industry Baby” too, I think it’s his best song to date.
Cover & IG courtesy of Out Magazine.
Yeah, he’s truly impressive. I really love him too and want only good things for him.
Very impressive indeed. I worry for him sometimes, he’s so young and the industry is so cruel, but what he’s saying needs to be said and I’m glad he does.
This. There’s nothing ‘lite’ about what has to be overcome. What makes it harder is that he’s right about how any pain he experiences or any struggle he may have can be used against him by homophobes. People on both sides with conservative beliefs about sexuality are constantly doing that to prove that what they put specific groups of people through is all just a logical, moral, and healthy understanding of psychology. They’ll do anything to prove that sexuality they hate, self-defense and rebellion from their targets, and efforts from others in those communities to call them out are all one big sickness.
Just watched “That’s What I Want” video and it is soooooo hot and soooo good! I love Montero!
Love Lil Nas X! So savvy with his album promotion and the expert trolling lol. The new video is so sweet, I just want to give him a hug.
I had no idea his real name is Montero. This young man is beyond impressive. He is hilarious, talented, and just a very good person all around. I want to see him get movie roles too. He needs to play a super hero or something.
i remember looking at his twitter a few months ago and he had a tweet where he was excited about legally changing his name to montero. so it might be his legal name but not his born name
I love Lil Nas X! He’s had such a hard life with the struggles around being gay and also with his mom’s addiction. I worry about him in that industry but he always keeps it moving. To have this much vision and drive at such a young age? Whew he’s a force to be reckoned with
I love him and admire him so much! He is an expert level Twitter troll as well, he drives the straights crazy over there.
I feel so protective of him. I always worry that, under the extraordinary wit, charisma, and resilience, there is a young man who has the prejudices of the world crashing in on him at all times and very much feels the weight of it. I’ve said it many times and I will keep saying it: I hope he knows how loved and respected he is.
Yeah. The pressure he talks about can be a real problem for people in the lgbt community (and women and poc). The message sent is that people in your community don’t get to ever have struggles or moments of sadness or anger without it proving conservatives right. It’s drilled in early and can stay with people for a long time. Even when things aren’t true when initially said, the stigma and stereotypes can become problems for queer people and women in the future if something does eventually go wrong.
Very few, if any, artists find their full self through fame or the music industry, but we shall see.
Lil Nas X is AWESOME. He’s changing the industry, especially hiphop/R&B, in such a huge way. How incredible for young queer fans who maybe are uncomfortable or questioning their identity to see him as a role model, unapologetically being himself on a global stage. I respect him so much.
I like him a lot. He’s truly living out his truths and unapologetic about it. His baby shower stuff was triggering for me as a woman unable to have children but I doubt that was his intention.
Traci, I’m really sorry to hear about your struggle with infertility. I had a miscarriage before I had my daughter and it was devastating. I hope you will find a way to have lots of children in your life in a different way.
I am sorry that @ Tracy and @ outoftheshadows are experiencing difficulty with fertility. I image it not only is gut wrenching physically but the emotional toll must be the most difficult part. I hope that you both are able to overcome this issue and that you are able to remember that you are both strong and perfect is every sense of the word!!
❤
Love him and can’t wait to listen to his album.
@ Simone, I hope that he is able to give those who need the support and inspiration to be their true self. He is such an incredibly talented man that as I read his comments, I am actually very surprised by his age. At 22 he is incredibly wise and cognizant of what he has dealt with and how he is breaking barriers and creating the path for those who are suffering from the pain of having to hide themselves and not allow themselves to be true to who they are. I applaud him and his actions to make the world a better place for those who are also trying to live their lives as they should be able to do without pushback OR attacks.
The album is sooooooo good! Some really beautiful, emotional, touching songs in there too. I’m truly loving this whole album.
I love you, baby!
😻
He’s an amazing person. If he can do this much at 22, imagine what he’ll accomplish in his lifetime. I wish him all the best.
I’m 40. I see people like him and so many other stars and athletes and influencers his age and think just how f*cking cool the kids of the next generation are. They are blowing off and standing up to all the worst things about the generations before them, and I am just here to cheer for it.