Another week, another set of fake Brangelina tabloid cover stories that will soon be lining American catboxes. I was in the states until yesterday and enjoyed the glut of tabloids that I would otherwise be struggling to keep up with if I was there permanently. Life & Style reports in bright yellow caps on the cover about “Angelina’s Sexy Kiss with another man!” while Star asks, also in semi-caps bright yellow font “Is Angelina too close with her bodyguard?” Life & Style reports on Angelina’s kiss with co-star James McAvoy in her upcoming film Wanted, saying that it was too sexy for Brad’s taste and that she requested a nude bath scene with McAvoy that was not in the script to spice things up.

The Star report relies on the photos of Angelina out with her bodyguard to speculate that they’re “too close” and insinuate that there’s more than a professional relationship going on there. They report that his name is Bill, that he’s 35, and that he’s British and was working for Britain’s Special Air Service before he was hired by Angelina’s security head Mickey Brett to take his place as her day-to-day minder.

Life & Style also covers Bill in an inset story, reporting that he’s Scottish, and that he worked with the British Secret Intelligence Service, not the Air Service. They add Bill, whose last name does not seem to be known by either Life & Style or Star, to the list of guys in Angelina’s life who threaten Brad. According to Life and Style, Bill is “in his 40s,” and is not 35 as Star reports:

Bill, says an insider, is in his 40s (like Brad), is Scottish (like James McAvoy [Angelina’s co-star in Wanted]) and has worked with the British Secret Intelligence Service.

[From Life & Style, print edition, November 19, 2007]

Angelina has nicknamed hot Bill “Chisel,” according to Star, and supposedly pays him $2,000 a day to mind her family. He started out working with her in Prague when she was filming Wanted and she soon asked him to join her in America:

Angelina Jolie has forged such a close bond with her strapping British bodyguard, Bill, that she affectionately calls him “Chisel” – and two top experts agree, their body language exudes a simmering chemistry…

The hard-bodied hottie is a 35-year-old former military man hired by Angie’s security chief, Mickey Brett, to guard the family in Prague during the summer…

Bill had just quit the elite Special Air Service – Britain’s crack commando unit – when he began working with Angie, Brad Pitt and their brood for a reported $2k per day. “He was a hit with Angelina right away,” says an insider who met the muscled minder in Prague. “She thought so highly of him that she asked him to take charge of her security when the family returned to America.”

At a superfit 5’11” and 170 pounds, Chisel looks capable of handling just about anything. He maintains his ripped physique that earned him his macho moniker by lifting weights and running for at least an hour a day. But despite his imposing presence. “He’s a really cool guy with a low-key sense of humor,” says the source. “I guess Angelina likes his style – and those piercing blue eyes!”

[from Star Magazine, print edition, November 19, 2007]

Cutie Bill is often seen out in t-shirts with humorous slogans including “If found please return to the pub,” and “Bed and Breakfast.”

I doubt there’s more than a professional relationship going on there, especially since Star’s sources are just people looking at the pictures, but one thing is clear – Bill is poised to be as popular a celebrity staff member as Britney’s manny Perry was last year. Maybe we’ll soon learn his last name, his real age, whether he’s British or Scottish and if he was in the British Intelligence or the Air Service. Bill’s as mysterious as he is hunky.

Thanks to Splash news for these pictures of Angelina out with her bodyguard recently. Bill has also been seen minding Brad Pitt and the kids without Angelina around.