For those of you who think there’s something creepy about Madonna’s relationship with Jesus Luz, I’ll have you know you’re totally wrong. Their name thing is just a total coincidence. The age difference means nothing. Same for the wide gap between her income and his. And there is certainly nothing – nothing – creepy about her buying him his first apartment. Nothing. Why in the world would anyone think he’s just her boy toy?

MADONNA is buying toyboy lover JESUS LUZ a £1.7million gaff in New York. The Queen Of Pop has decided it’s a bit too early for the model to move in with her and the kids. In other words, there was no room at the inn for Jesus. But Madge wants her new fella to live within walking distance of her £25million townhouse in the Upper East Side and is willing to pay for the, ahem, pleasure. The singer has given her estate agents the nod to sort him a flat. It will be in his name even though she is coughing up the huge wedge to buy it.

A source said: “Em is buying Jesus an apartment in New York. She has her real estate agent searching for the perfect pad for him in the new neighbourhood where she has just moved… She’s told them to spend no more than £1.7million and the pad has to be within walking distance of her townhouse. She is financing everything but Jesus will own it once it’s found and bought… She really wasn’t kidding when she told him he’ll never have to worry about money from now on.”

Jesus must feel like he can walk on water. He has landed on his feet big time, even if it means making the beast with two backs with a woman old enough to be his mum.

[From The Sun]

“Making the beast with two backs.” I love that. I had to check Wikipedia to make sure, and it definitely means sex. But somehow it also sounds to me like The Sun is calling Madonna a beast. I get an image of a two-humped camel with Madge’s face. And they sure make it sound like it’s an obligation instead of a joy, which imagine beast sex probably would be. Anyway… sorry, I’m sort of stuck on that phrase now…

Madge has now taken over every area of Jesus’ life. Though it sounds like she’s making a genuine effort to help him out as well – if the apartment is in just his name, it’s not like she’s making a real estate investment. He’ll get to keep it when they break up. But that’s also why their relationship seems sort of parent/child. She helps him in ways that are genuinely kind, like working on his career in modeling and learning how to deejay – but it’s strange to have his girlfriend finance that sort of thing. And his home. And yes I normally think the same thing about an older man and a younger woman, though that’s obviously much more common. Whenever there are shades of a parent relationship there, it creeps me out a bit. Oh well, at least Jesus will have a nice play to call home when one of these two comes to their senses.

Here are Madonna and Jesus in New York City on September 15th. Images thanks to INF Photo.