I was just thinking last week that Ben Affleck was probably getting that itch to self-sabotage. It’s his fundamental nature: when things are going too well for him, when his career is great or his romantic life is good, Ben starts to get itchy. I sometimes wonder if he’s even conscious of his own patterns of self-destruction and self-sabotage, how it comes in cycles for him. Currently, he’s promoting The Tender Bar, a film which could earn him awards for Best Supporting Actor. He’s also reunited with Jennifer Lopez, which is one of the best gossip stories of the year. So of course Ben had to ruin everything!
That came this week with his Howard Stern interview. Ben spoke a lot about the end of his marriage to Jennifer Garner, how he felt “trapped” and how if he was still married to Garner, he would still be drinking. Affleck & Garner were trending and everyone was like “wow, he sounds like an utter douchebag.” Well, Ben made his scheduled appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and of course Kimmel gave him the space to clarify/apologize for his comments:
Ben Affleck is clarifying his recent comments about alcoholism and his marriage with ex-wife Jennifer Garner. During an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Wednesday night, the 49-year-old The Tender Bar actor addressed remarks he made on The Howard Stern Show, which included that he’d “probably still be drinking” if he stayed married to Garner, 49.
“I would never want my kids to think I would ever say a bad word about their mom,” he told host Jimmy Kimmel. Affleck shares daughters Violet, 16, and Seraphina, 12, plus son Samuel, 9, with Garner.
The dad of three said that he thought his interview with Stern had been “meaningful” and didn’t realize how his comments had been perceived until after it aired, adding that some listeners had “taken the conversation” and “made it seem as if I was doing the exact opposite of what I said” by focusing on only one piece of their chat.
In the interview with Stern, he explained, “I had gone on and said how much we respect each other and cared about each other and cared about our kids and put them first.” Affleck added that the part of the interview that gained attention “just made me out to be the worst, most insensitive, stupid awful guy.”
While he said he understands that his personal life can make headlines or his pictures can be turned into “memes,” Affleck explained that when it comes to his family, “I have to draw a line, and be clear.”
He concluded, “That’s not true. I don’t believe that. It’s the exact opposite of who I am, what I believe.”
The video is below, and he talks about the Stern interview starting at the 1:30-mark. I actually haven’t *watched* an Affleck interview in a while and… um, are we for-sure that he’s 100% sober? There were parts of this clip where I kind of wonder if he’s California sober, as in not drinking but perhaps a bit baked? Maybe it’s something else, I don’t know. What I said yesterday was that I knew that there was more nuance to what he was saying on Stern, and that the quotes which had gone viral were only part of a larger interview and of course there was some added context. But also… he said he was trapped in his marriage and he would still be drinking if he was married to Jen Garner. People aren’t making that sh-t up! He actually said that. It’s not “clickbait.”
Photos courtesy of Backgrid, screencap from Kimmel.
Ugh Ben. Definitely agree that he has a pattern of self-sabotaging and he’s doing it again.
speaking of which – am I the only one who thinks that he is slurring his words here?
The overwhelming comments on the interview BA did with Stern was that he was slurring his words and his speech pattern was very rushed / rapid. It was widely speculated that he may have been on something or perhaps all the drinking / drugs he’s done in the past may have effected his speech this way. Not sure, but you are not alone in your observation – it was noticed by many.
I don’t know if it’s a common thing or not but i know someone who has been sober almost 20 years and he still slurs words sometimes when sober
His speech hasn’t seemed consistently slurred in interviews post rehab and if his performance doesn’t have the same type of speech patterns I’m guessing he was intoxicated with something. Alcohol/pills.
Someone mentions that he was baked. That’s not weed. That’s adderall with a bourbon chaser. My husband could hear it and had no idea who or what was happening but commented that “that guy needs to stop day drinking”
Agree on Ben being an idiot here but his wording that he felt trapped was probably a fact. Think about the timeline here he knocked up Jgarner and six months after they got married his oldest child was born. He can never say that because then his oldest will feel responsible for her parents problems.
If she hadn’t been pregnant I bet they never would have been married. But this is such a typical Boston guy pattern it isn’t even funny.
Oh Lauren I hate that misogynistic sounding (the poor guy has no choice) trope that should have been dead and buried in the 1960s. NO ONE has to get married.His parents hadn’t been married when he as born (according to a old interview),’ his brother Casey had an out of wedlock 2 year old at the time, half of Hollywood including Brangelina and TomKat, were having quickly conceived (less than a year together) illegitimate children (another antiquated term as shotgun wedding). Fact is this guy who I’m sure with his never apologize never admit guilt was no picnic to be married to married “because we were really in love and we just embraced it” quoting him from Barbara Walters. Nobody held a gun to his head and guided his unsheathed Willy into Jen 3 times with spacing of 3 years apart. He didn’t
ever do anything he didn’t want to do as now when he will deny to our hearing ears that hear he didn’t say what he said. And yes he’s still on something of course.
She didn’t get pregnant alone. Oh poor Ben was so trapped he kept making. kids with her. The poor man had no choice but to drink and cheat and act like an irresponsible bum. He can feel a million different things about his marriage and kids but he should have the decency to keep some things private. His kids will be hurt by his words. And I’m sure Jennifer was not perfect in that marriage, no one is, but she did everything to help him with his kids, with his career, and with his alcoholism. After everything he publicly did to her, she still helped him. Maybe he should for once think of his kids and not himself but everyone loves him now because he’s dating Jennifer Lopez so I doubt that will happen.
Ben knows how to wear a condom. He said in an earlier interview that he fell in love with her when he was with Jennifer Lopez and she was still married. He didn’t have to get married, it was a decision he made…just like his decision to drink.
Oh Lauren, their eldest child WAS NOT BORN in the 1950’s, but in 2005 or 2006 around there.
Affleck didn’t have to marry Garner, because they were expecting a child together, they didn’t even had to live together.
Probably more than 1/2 of Hollywood has children without being married to each other.
They could have been co-parents and that’s it, both were well to do actors.
Garner had the means to raise their child without Affleck’s help.
And why in the world did he have 3 kids with Garner, if he felt trapped in the marriage??????????
The truth is that Affleck had a well documented problem with alcohol way before he even met Garner and since they broke up he had a few drunken pics all over the internet, of course the most well known is when Garner was driving him to rehab.
Nobody can make you an alcoholic, Mr. Affleck, you are nearly 50 years old, stop blaming your ex-wife and take ownership.
He should finally take full responsibility for his actions, behavior and words.
Jen saved Ben. She seemed to be the only responsible adult in his orbit that was helping him get sober and keeping their children cared for, loved and sheltered from his chaos. She has still never spoken a bad word about him and she out of everyone has that right.
He’s completely stoned. I recognise myself from having been half- to utterly-baked in the past and trying to put on my serious face so that people wouldn’t notice I had ingested a prime edible. (I don’t partake that often, and only from those who grow their own, btw.) He’s off his face.
ETA His PR has been as busy as a busy little bee – I mean, do we really believe all this ‘how unfair’, wide-eyed and innocent disclaiming? It’s Affleck. We know he’s a rotten piece of work.
Totally agree he is suuuuuuuper baked. The no eye contact, the speed he’s talking, all of it. Unimpressed is an understatement.
You know what? I didn’t believe he was onto pills or even hard stuff as Lainey Liu’s blind item had been suggested in 2014/2015. But now I believe it. This makes me even more convinced that that GQ article that huge star did in 2016 which I mentioned in a previous post on this site was related to him (even celebitchy reported this GQ article in 2016 and was wondering why the star was in GQ when he was not promoting a new film and he had just came off from a successful award season. The GQ article is very small and yet he was on the cover.). Three related points were all related to Ben and his persona life. That star definitely was warning Ben and declaring war on him. And then 2017 happened and he lost his Batman role.
For Ben, 2016-2019 definitely was a perfect storm; He got divorced; He suffered two relapses; His batman film panned; Three peer or even more powerful stars were teamed against him; his batman role was lost in a Warner Bro internal struggle.
He was hoping to come back in 2020 and 2021, and yet here he is, making this stupid comment, and he is still on pills or even more hard stuff.
Why is he making himself so unlikeable? As soon as his narrative started to become underdog redemption, he has to sabotage. And now I don’t think even his ex-wife will help him, after she has been suffered such a public humiliation.
It’s not even like the nannygate which they can sell it as happening after trial separation. This time the humiliation came directly from his own damn mouth.
Whoa I could only watch about 90 seconds because he was so altered it was triggering for me (ex with addiction issues). From his ham fisted attempt to steer the convo to his inebriated affect the whole thing was just awful.
Ugh please. He’s a narcissist and loves the attention good or bad. You don’t go on Howard Stern to talk about your relationship if you want to protect your kids from if. Grow up, Bin.
Ugh. I watched part of this interview but had to stop. It’s so sad. He seems genuinely upset and at a loss. This guy, by all accounts of people that have worked with him and even his ex-wife, is brilliant. He just seems like such a lost soul despite the fame, money, and prestige. I feel sorry for him.
I think it was clickbait because it was part of a larger conversation taking place– he made the comment based on how the state of his marriage would’ve exacerbated his alcoholism, not that Jennifer Garner is this big bad monster that drives him to drink. It was clickbait on a Daily Fail kinda level.
I agree too if it was another man saying this people would see it. Unfortunately Ben has a reputation of not taking accountability for his actions so I don’t blame people who see it differently.
If he was miserable he should have left. Jennifer wasn’t keeping him hostage. To blame their marriage for his drinking is a cop out.
But that’s what people don’t get about the larger conversation. They were trying to stay together for the kids. But it wasn’t working so he would drink to cope. This really has nothing to do with Jennifer but him saying he was trapped (and NOT FELT TRAPPED) which people keep saying. That is what everybody latched on to to bash him. And no one reflects on his saying she is a good Mom. It’ just frustrating as an actual fan of Howard Stern and knowing 99% of Celebitchy comments are by people who don’t have a subscription and did not listen to the whole interview. Howard is very good at getting people to open up. And when everyone freaks out over twisted context we will just be getting more fluff interviews going forward. It would be great if people could take something and not make it about their triggers and how they were treated. Rather than what the actual conversation was about.
Staying together for the kids is also a cop out. In the 21st century we are all aware that divorce is healthier for children than a toxic marriage.
@Applecart,
I appreciate your clarification/take. I feel it is still icky to tie your drinking to the whole mess because children tend to blame themselves for everything, but as I’m sure they have learned by now, alcoholism is messy. I do like having the full story, however, and getting different perspectives.
He might have spoken poorly, but it wasn’t clickbait. People posted paragraphs of his statements. That’s context, it wasn’t diced up to be misleading.
When a person says “she’s a good mom” and also that he started drinking because of being married to her…it’s not a good thing to say. You can be insulting right after being complimentary, one doesn’t negate the other. If it’s so hard to get the nuance right, maybe don’t talk about it for movie promotion?
He put his foot in his mouth, and oh look, he’s trying to dodge responsibility for that too!
Thank you!
Yes, thank you @ Tiffany : )!! I didn’t hear an apology either. Did anyone hear it? I didn’t hear it.
@ Tiffany 🙂 : when I read his comments about drinking because he felt trapped is his marriage, I thought “No, you started drinking because you’re an alcoholic and that’s how they deal with problems in their lives. They don’t address them, they run from them and abuse alcohol because being drunk feels so much better at the time than doing the necessary work to address and deal with a problem. But the problem’s still there when they sober up, only it’s worse now. I got this take from a friend who was a recovering cocaine addict.
Exactly selene! It was clearly clickbait. People fell for it because they wanted to. Ben has done several interviews over the years since his divorce praising JG. He praised her in this interview. He never actually said he was trapped in his marriage. He said he felt personally trapped because he wanted to stay for the kids. He also never said JG caused his alcoholism. He said had they stayed married they probably would’ve ended up at each other’s throats and he would still be drinking (because he was in a bad marriage). Not because of JG. Those who are mad are those who either never liked BA or haven’t since his divorce from JG.
buuuut again – his drinking problem preceded and proceeded his “bad marriage” so maybe the drinking wasn’t about the marriage or JG at all. did he address that at all in this 2 hour interview? is he just so unlucky that every single relationship he has is “bad” and drives him to drink?
No Kate, he’s simply an alcoholic. He doesn’t need a reason, but if there’s a reason, all the better.
@Selene – right, I understand and was being sarcastic. From talking to an addict friend in recovery and from growing up the child of an addict, I know that you can’t make a lasting recovery until you take full accountability and agency in your life. All his talk about growing apart and the marriage not working and how unhappy he was removes himself from responsibility for the marital breakdown. A bad marriage didn’t just happen to him and trigger his relapse.
@Kate — that’s a very AA focused view of recovery. A person does not have to be fully self aware to claim power over their addiction. I suggest this Atlantic article, which talks about some of the ways AA is problematic: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/386255/
I absolutely agree with you Selene. So many people feel trapped in their marriages. Not because their partner is trapping them. If there isn’t abuse or fighting it is hard to break up a family with kids. I know so many people in this situation. They feel unhappy but since the home is peaceful they stay for the kids. If you are an addict, you would turn to your vices to deal with your unhappiness. I honestly don’t get the big deal about this interview.
You may see that, but if you have ever dealt with a manipulative person who cannot take responsibility for their behavior, it is clear what he is saying…but more importantly, what he is NOT saying. He does not say it was his decision to drink. He does not say that his drinking was the cause of their marital breakdown. He says he was trapped and he drank. And he would still be drinking if he was married to her. Why is that? Because SHE makes him drink? Somehow he has no power to quit? Marriage to her was soooo awful he had to be passed out drunk? This was a lot of baggage to put on another human being, especially the mother of his children.
What Tiffany 🙂 said!
The perils of talking to the media instead of a therapist.
Dear Ben: Welcome to Amy’s “Proper Apologies” Tutorial and your holiday gift from me.
“I said something stupid and disrespectful. I shouldn’t have, I am sorry that my actions hurt people who didn’t deserve it and I will work to do better going forward.”
You’re welcome.
Bravo! Well said!
Amy T has a good idea (model apology) but it needs to be developed in this case, along these lines:
“I want to make clear that I know no one made me drink. I have had a problem with alcohol for a long time; it is well documented. It also played a part in the failure of my engagement to Jennifer Lopez. I have a lifetime of work ahead of me to make up for the hurt I have caused. That’s all I’m going to say on this.”
Unfortunately I can think of so many dudes that could use this gift in their stocking this year…
Well said @Amy T
+1
If only JK Rowling said that statement about the trans community.
I sadly have a brother who is much like Affleck. He cheated on his wife and they divorced. His ex-wife went on to be a very successful speaker; and he had the audacity to say; “if wasn’t for my affair, she wouldn’t be as successful as she is today. She would still be in the garden planting flowers. She should actually thank me” Men like them blame women for their own failures and take credit for women’s success. They see themselves as ‘god-like’, and no one should ever criticize them.
He hasn’t learned much from treat.ent. jlo is making a huge mistake with him. She will be stuck with all of his self created messes within a year or two. What a narcissistic ass
stagaroni—ugh. Your brother is lucky his wife doesn’t plant him under some flowers. The nerve he has…
He needs to just stand up and take accountability for his own actions without dragging those to whom he should be making amends into the blame game. He’s not making himself look like less of a tool with his “but I said good things about her too” not-apology.
Hey Ben, if you would “never want your kids to think I’d say a bad word about their mom” then maybe don’t say a bad word about their mom, or at least don’t talk about how you were trapped in your marriage to her and just happened to fall into a bottle of scotch every night as a somehow inescapable consequence of that.
That was my thought! If you don’t want your kids to hear you say bad stuff about their mom, then don’t say it. He seems to be more worried about the perception of what he said than anything else.
And for the record, while people are understandably reacting negatively to his blame for Garner and being “trapped” in his marriage, neither is it a good look to talk about your children or current relationship “saving” you. That’s also not taking responsibility.
Can you imagine being one of his kids and thinking that you and you alone are responsible for your father’s sobriety? That if he relapses, it means you did something wrong or you weren’t enough?
His kids have seen him drunk, maybe angrily trashing their mother, they have seen him flirting or doing more with their nanny in their home etc,etc. Jen Garner had to explain them the meaning of scandal as she said. A narcissist man child who likes to drink, using drunks, chasing women is never a good father, or a good husband. Fortunatelly, his kids have a wonderful mother and they could have a good therapist.
And again he’s putting the blame on others and he’s the poor victim.
Ben Affleck is always gonna Ben Affleck.
“…Affleck added that the part of the interview that gained attention “just made me out to be the worst, most insensitive, stupid awful guy.”
Yes, you (not “the interview” but you) made yourself out to be all of that. We understand, though, Ben. You can’t help it. Underneath everything, in your heart of hearts, that’s who you are and that’s why you said those things for your children to find online for the rest of their lives. Gods only know what you say to your kids about their mom when you’re together.
Leave it to Ben to bring a shovel to dig this hole further. An apology for the choice of words would have sufficed, instead he actually made it all about his feelings being hurt. Zero accountability, and I do believe he’s in the beginning stages of a relapse.
+1
I didnt watch the Stern interview but saw some comments of people not quite convinced he is sober. But he could be on medication for his addiction. My brother was a raging alcoholic and he has been sober six years now but his personality is not the same,he is a bag of nerves and anxiety. Long time use and medication can ulter a person. Just like Britney also seems different,probably all the unsolicited medication she was forced to take.(IMHO)
I personally think he’s on heavy anxiety meds like benzos. Which if he is, he needs to stop. I’ve been sober 15 years and I had anxiety for over 10. Anxiety is awful so I get it. Whenever I took benzos I just felt numb, which helped with the anxiety, but the aftermath is not pretty.
And he needs to fire his PR team, like right now. They are doing him no favors. I’ve always had a soft spot for him but he seriously needs to start taking accountability for his actions. He’s not. At All. I just want to smack him. Because he is a wonderful director and writer. And he’s pushing so many fans away by this excuse of an apology. Which is not at all an apology.
His PR Team must hate him, Ben Affleck and Howard Stern interview is a recipe for disaster!
Another note… Apparently he changed from JLo’s publicist, Sunshine Sachs, that he’s had for 18 years now (Switched when he started dating JL originally) to Matt Damon’s publicist. Can’t tell when but it probably hasn’t been that long that he’s been with ViewPoint LA (MD’s publicist.) And JL switched publicists too…
Interesting.
Really? He changed PR? I thought he was still engaging service with Ken Sunshine. No wonder. It seems old Ken really chose his loyalty to that huger star over Ben in the twosome’s feud.
@Simmons, I finally know who you are talking about! And that dude is such a douche, like I can’t stop laughing about it! I need to read that GQ article now…
Well, watch the clip. I do not think he is sober at all. He slurred his words, talking fast. I was shocked when I heard him slur his words. My sister called me first thing this morning: Have you seen the Ben Affleck video? She was watching the clip released that I saw She told the first thing she wanted to say is: He’s drinking again. She couldn’t get past it. I told her I had wondered if it was pills She said whatever he’s doing it is obvious and it was already hard to listen to him, knowing, because of that, and wondered if his loose lips about Garner was because he wasn’t completely straight and thus not more self-aware.,
I don’t get how people don’t hear it. I also saw signs of dry mouth and heavy eyes when he was on the red carpet talking to ET’s Kevin Frazier.
As far as being on something for nerves. I’ve taken all kinds of medication back in the day when I had a bout of depression and severe anxiety. I don’t think taking a normal dose is that at all Although, I did have dry mouth. Not to the point of continually licking my lips. But I am surprised more people aren’t talking about.
“I didnt watch the Stern interview” – I’m wondering how many in these comments did? I did. All two hours. This comment was so cherry-picked and made into a headline without any context of what preceded and followed. He was actually very very respectful to and of her! Not a fan, nor a hater – but am just shocked at the press from what was actually a really good interview.
Problem being, if you say ONE bad thing in 2 hours of respectful, guess what the only thing is that people will notice?!
My point is that I don’t think, from the comments here, that anyone has heard anything but that one sentence – they didn’t not “notice” the rest: They didn’t hear it! If you take that one comment WITH the comments that preceded and and followed, he clearly was not blaming her at all! He didn’t say *she* trapped him, nor that she was in any way to blame for his alcoholism. He just didn’t.
Jennifer – be honest: did you listen to the interview?
I listened to it and that was not my take away.
Well, Molly, did he, or did he not say he was trapped in his marriage and he would still be drinking if still married? Did he take responsibility for his drinking? Can you provide quotes? Sure, he said she was a good mother, all of that, but when it came to the breakdown of the marriage, anywhere, did he take responsibility? Did he say he was sorry? If you can provide those quotes, it would change my mind.
Why would he talk about her at all?
Well, it is in awards campaign season. All his opponents’ eyes were on him. They would absolutely tear a new one as long as their clients get an advantage over their competitors.
My brother basically gave up alcohol and then replaced it with Vicodin. Always insisting that he didn’t have a problem and it was for his back. Pill shopping all over LA and using an old prescription of my dad’s and renewing it for years. He died in his early 70’s-a smart interesting handsome father and grandfather that destroyed his life with his addictions.
Once a douche always a douche!!!
This man is a straight up narcissist. Even his clarification is all about himself. He is ridiculous.
That’s what I was thinking too..
Dear Jlo,
You’ve convinced the world that you are still desirable. Ben’s work here is done. He is NOT a catch. Release him back into the wild before people start pitying you the way they pitied Garner.
Exactly. He will never change. Big mistake for Jlo to take him back.
I don’t want to do a guessing game on his sobriety but I think you are right that he’s maybe California sober because he’s not really himself in this interview. I do love that he mentioned the dunkin memes😂
He said something off-the-cuff and stupid. Howard Stern seems to kind of have that vibe – never listened to the show, but celebrities seem to get in the most trouble on his show lol. I don’t think he’s the worst person ever or that this is career-ending, but I do hope he apologizes to Jen G. She stood by him when she didn’t have to, and he said some things that could be construed as hurtful by her. But honestly, the entire story is click-baity and not really worth (in my opinion) all the coverage it’s getting.
Howard Stern does not play with PR bullshit when it comes to interviews. Celebrities best be ready to “come to Jesus” honesty-wise when they get on there. 🤣🤣 I’m wondering why Affleck risked this in the first place.
Add to that, Howard stern clearly has been holding a grudge over him for years now. He was very sympathetic of Garner when nannygate happened; and he laughed with Gwyneth Paltrow when she dissed Ben.
Until Ben can stop putting his foot in his mouth and actually take full responsibility for his actions (LIKE AN ACTUAL SOBER person), just STFU! You are not the victim here! He clearly has zero self-awareness, another indication he is not working any kind of step/sobriety program, or possibly not entirely sober (maybe just a dry drunk?). As someone else remarked yesterday on here, this is giving off major Brad Pitt vibes – let’s blame all the women I was with (Aniston, Jolie). Ugh!!
Yes. I fully believe him the first time, that he excused his philandering and his alcoholism because he felt “trapped.” Lest we forget the Phoenix tattoo and poor Jen G who asked “am I the ashes?” adding that she takes umbrage to being the ashes…he really saw her as something to escape and that when he was finally let go, he imprinted a color-vomit rising Phoenix on his back for the world to see (barf…remembers the tattoo…barfs again).
If he had just stated the obvious: that he was missing the contentment gene, the commitment gene, that he will forever be attracted to other hot girls and not be able to control himself, that he found “full-time dad and husband life” difficult, it would’ve been better. Everyone here who says he doesn’t take responsibility is right: his “apology” also accepts zero responsibility (it’s your fault for choosing the wrong quotes!). If he continues down this track he will forever be batfleck—superhero in his own mind, a punchline to others.
Very well said, Lyds
Still a douchebag. All I hear is “me me me me”, ugh.
People are too harsh on him . See, I remember pictures of him during the Lindsey Shookus period, a time when he had escaped the horrible marriage-trap,and he was clearly drunk on these.
Did he blame her or make her responsible for his boozing habit? No!
So, no he doesn’t always blame the woman, only the one he had children with.
(heavy sarcasm obviously)
@Manta, this made me chuckle.
And who came to the rescue and carted him off to rehab? Jennifer Garner. At that point he wasn’t stuck anymore, they were divorced and he was moved on and she still had to pick up the pieces. It seems to be like Jennifer Garner is an extremely patient person.
I have total respect for Jennifer Garner and how she behaved with kindness and generosity towards BA as her ex husband and father of her 3 children. She stood by him at his absolute worst and still looked after his best interests after their divorce WO that their children would still have a dad present in their lives. For that Ben should be grateful and certainly NOT dissing her now in anyway. He needs to man up and appreciate all the good things in his life: 3 healthy children and a wonderful ex wife.
He’s euphoric because he’s in love and he’s feeling bulletproof. He’s got to take responsibility for his behavior or I don’t think he can truly take the needed steps in his recovery.
I’m not sure he is recovered. He was slurring his words a lot.
Wow. He still won’t accept responsibility for his actions. And he does seem really odd – like there is something weird going on. My brother has struggled with drinking for years and has been on various meds to help (without success), but the only time he seems like this is when he’s drinking.
Yep. Somebody I know is married to someone who drinks and then talks too fast and noticeably slurs his words nightly. She heard that clip and it was the first thing she noticed, that he was drinking. Those were her strong feelings.
I think I understand the point he was trying to make – that he was unhappy in his marriage – that they BOTH were – but were trying to make it work for the kids and that just probably added a lot of pressure and stress and his way of coping was to drink. It wasn’t that he was “trapped” by Jen G, it was more that he was trapped by his own…..I don’t know, expectations? Like he thought he had to stay married to be a good father? so the overall unhappy situation was a trigger for him and his alcoholism.
(I didn’t really follow the nanny story so I know nothing about that or the timing etc, i’m just going off what he was saying in the Stern interview.)
That said….when you are talking about something as delicate as a marriage that ended, with someone who is also famous and well-known, there are kids involved, etc….you need to be better with your phrasing and with your words because if he didn’t know those comments were going to get picked up, then he’s an idiot.
Although as I’m tying all that out, I guess it could also be interpreted as him trying to almost defend his drinking? Like it wasn’t his drinking that ended the marriage, it was already basically over?
I don’t know, its a tough situation for Jen and the kids and Ben’s team really needs to give him some pointers on how to talk about it, because the whole thing sounds off – “I’m with this woman that I dated before the woman I had to marry where I was trapped bc of the kids and life is so great now that I’m not trapped anymore!!!!” Like….come up with better talking points dude.
Ηe was unhappy in his marriage and he was drinking, but he was drinking when he was happily partying with L. Shookus in the Mandarin Hotel since 2013, cheating on his wife. He is just an alcoholic with many addictions and maybe bipolar disaster.
“Like it wasn’t his drinking that ended the marriage, it was already basically over”
This. I get what he thought he was saying but the fact he calls it a bad marriage or talks about them working hard on it blah blah makes it seem like equal fault all around and wow we really tried but sometimes people just aren’t meant for each other what a shame. but actually it’s that sometimes people have mental health and addiction issues that make them incapable of being happy no matter who they are with until they seek help, and you didn’t seek help.
“I was trapped in my marriage, I was unhappy, I slept on the couch” is what all men who cheat on their wives until they’re divorced say to convince the next person none of it was their fault. Ben is a garden variety selfish prick.
@Twin falls Yep, this so predictably true of cheaters.
Say it with me: narcissistic alcoholics never change. (Non narcissistic alcoholics can and do.)
And for the people in the back: narcissistic alcoholics don’t change.
As the child of one, I can attest: Narcissistic alcoholics never change. All that changes is how close you decide to get to the fallout.
I kind of understand what he was trying to say about his marriage, but there are so many better/more sensitive ways he could have said it and I’m not sure we should be making excuses for him when this guy won his first Oscar for screenwriting. He’s a writer! He’s smart. He knows how to choose words and he chose sh*tty words here that reveal he doesn’t own his choices.
I mean…the guy has a full-color phoenix tattooed on his back. He’s in love with his own mythology. He will crash, burn, and rise from the ashes as many times as the market will bear.
Let’s not forget that he lied about that tattoo when people laughed at it, he is very fragile skinned.
lol as the market will bear
I don’t think he’s drinking I’ve also seen ppl who went through the same situation saying he’s taking pills or some sort of medications, and he talked about being under antidepressants. The risk for an alcoholic going through that is to replace the alcohol by the pills though and use them as a clutch and it can become another kind of mess.
About the interview I listened to it entirely and he was brutally honest about everything, his words about Garner in the context of it all weren’t shocking but taken out of it I can understand the outrage. What was the need to even go on stern? He’s really the king of self sabotage.
I agree with everything you wrote, except that antidepressants don’t make you slur your words. As someone who works in mental health I just wanted to correct that. Benzos might, but they would have to be at a pretty high dose and more often than not would just make you appear sedated, not affect your speech. Cannabis also doesn’t typically make one slur their words so I’m not really sure what’s going on with him here
“People who are on Xanax will often sound similar to someone who is intoxicated from alcohol because of slurring.” it’s about ppl abusing Xanax which I think is definitely the case here.
Actually they kinda do. I’ve had to take Xanax for anxiety and they completely make you just the way he sounded. He probably has to take them when he gives interviews. To calm himself. Chris Evans is another one that has talked in the past of the anxiety he gets on red carpets, interviews, etc. So i completely get why he would take them before an interview. Or he could be taking them all the time, but for his sake, I hope not.
Ben misspoke unfortunately in his interview to Howard Stern. When he says things like “I felt trapped” without clarifying it wasn’t his wife or his kids’ fault and that he would have kept drinking had he stayed married to Garner, people are going to naturally assume he is blaming the end of his marriage on his wife and kids. It’s not our fault for perceiving it that way, he’s too in his own head to realize that’s the way it comes across. And he might have said some really nice things in the same interview about Garner and how he stills respects and admires her as the mother of his kids, but he undoes all that with those comments.
I absolutely hated the book Eat, Pray, Love but one thing I always admired about Elizabeth Gilbert was the way she wrote about her divorce to her first husband. She never blamed him or trashed him in the book, it was all about her emotions and the way she felt in the fallout of the divorce and her reaction to it. Of course, it’s part of why I couldn’t stand the book due to the “poor me I’m such a victim” routine but I respected the way she chose to never diss her ex.
Wow, nothing is ever his fault ever.
I wonder if he bothered to speak to Jennifer Garner/his kids or just did the Kimmel interview and went 🤷♀️
Yeah there’s no way his teenage kids are cool with this behavior
There was a video of him talking to a co-worker (female) in a very animated, borderline angry way. Then I saw a video of him speaking to JG in a similar way. Something is up. Possibly his self destructive tendancies flaring up. It’s just a matter of time before Bennifer blows up.
Like a compass that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman. (paraphrased from I forget where)
Still using his kids. It’s so gross when you think about how many women he’s brought into their lives. He couldn’t care less about their feelings. So selfish.
I don’t think it’s anything other than he’s feeling comfortable because everyone is kissi long his mediocre behind. His acting was laughable in the last dual but got raves, his relationship with jlo is laughable and gross but it’s “good for gossip” 😩 .he thought people would kiss his ass over these comments but he forgot how well like garner is to the general public. Hollywood might not care about her but soccer moms do.
Can we start a petition to have Ben get together with Olivia Wilde? #sameenergy
I think Ben’s publicist needs to make sure they can review his interviews before they go to print, or sit in on his interviews with him, and he shouldn’t do live radio interviews. This has happened to him several times now where he puts his foot in his mouth simply because he couldn’t get his full point across the way he meant to. Some people just aren’t well spoken and that’s okay, but he needs to accept that he’s messy and find a way to do damage control BEFORE it’s a headline everywhere.
I think Hollywood cares about Jennifer Garner too. I have never heard a bad word spoken about her. I believe she chose to take less acting jobs so that she could be home to care of her children…and Ben apparently 😂
When the high of the attention of Bennifer 2.0 wears off he will be off with some young actress talking about how she saved him and what a serious actor he is .
Um. Jlo is the “young actress” compared to him. She’s in better health/shape and mindset. She needs to open her DMs to Captain America and let the greatest ASSet power couple happen. He had a big crush on her plus he’s sober and handsome. She needs a younger man with enough energy to keep up with her busy lifestyle. Ben alway looks dry and tired. His smoking has destroyed his looks.
He said he would still be drinking if he was still married to her. He was drinking before they got married. He was drinking way after they split up. Maybe Ben needs to remember who picked his messed up butt up and drove him to rehab to help him. With this man child it is always someone else’s fault.
He really just needed to clarify. It had nothing to do with the wife and kids, he’s an addict and he succumbed to addiction but it sounds like he’s not really there yet, unfortunately.
Please.
Ben Affleck has been in the game a long time – long enough to well know how his words would be construed and now it’s just damage control because he wasn’t expecting the backlash – he really thought everyone would be on his side.
I love it that Ben had to go back and “clarify” statements he made about Jen, but still did a pretty terrible job at that.
She is still winning the public over. I’m sure that annoys him to no end. LOL
Why would he talk about her at all?
And HE felt trapped living with a nice, kind, big earning woman who covered for him? I’ve never been a fan of hers but how trapped do you think SHE felt?
Well, being married can really cramp your style when your wife doesn’t approve of you gambling and sleeping around. It can sadly lead to drinking a bottle of scotch and passing out on couch. He needs to talk about it so we can FEEL his pain! He was trapped, I tell you. Trapped!!
Narcissists think we can’t see them for what they are; their self-inflated egos practically glow in the dark they are so toxic.
Exactly. Ben isn’t self sabotaging on purpose he just truly thinks this way and so of course everyone else must also think the same way because he’s a narcissistic man baby. When things are going well and people are blowing smoke up his rear, he gets comfortable and chatty and the truth comes out. Of course he wasn’t trapped, he has no idea what trapped actually is, but in his self-centered mind he’s the victim and it’s always external factors that are at fault and never him. Wha wha it’s everyone elses’ fault for seeing straight through him not his fault for being an insufferable man with the depth of a puddle.
Agree Selene: thanks for your comment.
He needs to shut up!
When my boyfriend of 7+ years and I broke up, he said something similar to me – justified his constant marijuana use, said he felt that the “weight of the world” had been lifted off his shoulders, and he felt like a “new person” after the breakup. Just like Ben, my ex was a 30 year old adult and I didn’t have a gun to his head. He could have left at any time. Blaming me (or Jen) for your own unhappiness and years of inaction is misplaced and unfair. I hope Ben’s latest disgrace reminds Jen of how much better off she is with him out of her life. The guy is an asshole and she deserves so much better.
Uh…his coloring does not look good. He looks red like he’s been on a Bender.
Unpopular opinion, but I really cannot stand Ben Affleck. To me, he is the epitome of an entitled white boy who doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and almost seems to get off on his own fuck shit. He humiliates the women in his life over and over again and at the end of the day he has not done the internal work to address the root cause of his behavior, he just talks in California psycho babble to make it seem as if he’s accountable for his actions. He is not. I may be the only one who isn’t psyched about this J Lo reunion but the way I see it, she’s just another female that he’s globbed onto to try and save his image. She deserves better than this narcissistic d-bag. Honestly, it makes me cringe to watch him talk and yes, he’s stoned.
has he ever been interviewed by a woman? or just his buddies.
The way he speaks and moves doesn’t seem sober to me. Makes me think of Barbiturates
He was drinking, as he said, because he was trapped with his wife and his own children. Maybe now he is drinking again because he is trapped with JLo and her kids.
Isn’t the only person who knows about the truth of what he said Jennifer Garner? She could confirm if the story is true or false.
Note to Ben: stick to acting and shun interviews.
I honestly believe that Ben wasn’t trying to trash Jennifer as he did talk about how he loves and respects her but here’s the thing: if you get caught screwing your kids’ nanny and put your estranged wife through as much public humiliation as Ben put Garner through and yet she still supports you through multiple relapses and rehab the least you can do is be careful how you talk about her in public as to not hurt her.
I think people forget the Hell he put that woman through very publicly for years but you can go through the archives and see it. He was literally buying his nanny cars and flying her around in private planes while the nanny was giving interviews and putting all that crap on social media and yet Jennifer has only ever said good things about him publicly and supported him. For him to not think anything of publicly saying he was trapped in his marriage to Jennifer after everything he put her through is just amazing because from where I’m sitting the one who looks like they were trapped in a nightmare is her.
Yep. But I guess now that doesn’t fit the narrative. He is loving the whole Bennifer 2.0 attention., great loves find each other again. I’ve seen it a few times when celebs, men or women, get very smug because of their new settled-down relationship, and for some reason, hey feel the need to diminish their prior marriage publicly to elevate their new relationship (there is zero need for that when on good terms and kids and has done all that Ben did to his ex). Certain things aren’t for airing. Why intentionally hurt them?
But I’m seeing shades of that with Ben by those remarks.
His comments actually blamed his children for being trapped, which is the only worse thing he could have possibly said than blaming Garner. His comment is even worse than most people have thought.
Defo California sober…
I have a theory as to why Ben dumped JLo and married JGarner.
Deep down he had no intention of staying in a committed marriage long term, but he did want to marry and have kids so he could pat himself on the back and say “welp I tried being the quintessential family man but such a life is just too torturous and confining for a mighty and talented artist like me.” So even though he prefers living the “flashy rockstar life” with JLo, he decided to dump her to be with a more “traditional” woman like JGarner knowing she would do all the heavy lifting of child rearing and homemaking and also of course mother him as well. And now he feels free to get back with JLo. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too.
He didn’t dump J-Lo for Jen Garner. After he and Jennifer Lopez split up, at some point he dated a girl from Boston for a while. I think she’s married to some former pro athlete now. But her roommate dished on Ben, making fun of him, and that was the end of that relationship. They were photographed at a game together.
Ahhh interesting I didn’t know all that. Then my theory is out the door. Ben probably doesn’t scheme and plan like that anyways.
I don’t like the word “dumped” but there were rumors he hooked up with Garner on the set of Daredevil. He sabotaged his relationship so spectacularly he wasn’t going to to date Garner right away. I think he knew he wasn’t in love with her at all and saw her as a hook up but Garner was super into him. That’s why they didn’t date right away. That Boston girl was an interlude. He and Garner stayed in touch and all of a sudden, he still probably wanted companionship, she was there and had admirable qualities, he thought he loved her enough, and he had more approval for dating her, rather than J.Lo and then she got pregnant. It was kinda like he did “dump” J.Lo for Garner even if that’s not what he set up to do.
Then Garner was pregnant and he faced pressure not to mess up again, didn’t want to put a kid through what he did as a kid, etc. And Garner leaned into the drama of being framed as his “savior”. I think that grew tiresome after all awhile and actually worked against them. It backfired on Garner. He was also going to look bad if he divorced her and didn’t want to leave his kids.
I hate this talk of “oh, he was always an addict” which is true, and addicts do blame others at times for things, but it’s also a coping mechanism too and I can see that after a while he resorted to it again. That’s why he made some of those comments. And I can believe that he “cleaned up” with Garner in the beginning but it was only a matter of time that he would resent that people credited her with “new life” and success and it was only natural that he would resort to his old and familiar coping mechanism when he grew unhappy. Doesn’t mean it was her fault but he did resent her.
They went through counseling I’m sure this came up in their counseling. It’s probably not news to Garner but she was always in denial about just how much love there was in the marriage. It was on this site that people called her kids “Band-Aid” babies and that she was a kinda of Hollywood climber and more in love with him than he with her. People pit Garner against J.Lo as a picture of white womanhood and if you G-d help you if you break up with her or break her heart, she’s “America’s Sweetheart.” Ben is responsible for himself but I actually think he regretted his marriage and probably hated himself for not having the courage to be honest about his actual feelings and allowing the media and outside pressures to make him act a certain way.
The shame probably contributed to him being passive aggressive to Garner and his sabotage and self hate…he feels out of it now but us telling him he can’t say these things is hurtful to his side of his experience and his recovery. Garner would have stayed married to him forever if he hadn’t humiliated as much as he did and he’s probably (hopefully) embarrassed about that too!
@Jules that was an amazing synopsis, are you a therapist? If not you should be. I’d come see you!
No, his mother supposedly didn’t like J.Lo and people attacked their relationship. He wasn’t a closet racist or anything. He just gave in to the criticism, which is sad because he was self-aware enough back then to see the racism.
He said this in 2003 about Jennifer Lopez:
“…But that’s not something I want to allow to dictate how I make choices. This is something I would do if Jen was a teacher and I was working construction in Boston. Jen and I want to get married for the reason everyone else does: we fell in love. I’m in love; I want to have a family; and she’s the only person I’ve ever met who made me entertain the thought of doing that. You know within 10 minutes of meeting Jen that she’ll be a good mother. Though the heavens fall, she’ll be a good mother. My father said the same thing about my mother, who was a world-class-Olympian mother.”
AND
“…Although Lopez flaunts her sexuality at every turn, Affleck claims that her sizzling image is misleading. “Jen has had fewer boyfriends than your average high-school junior,” he says. “In the physical sense, she’s extremely chaste. She’s had a much simpler, more easily explainable, more clean romantic history than I have. She can tell the whole story in 15 minutes, whereas I always preface the whole story with ‘It was complicated …’ I think this also has to do with race. There’s a kind of language that’s used about her—the spicy Latina, the tempestuous diva. She’s characterized as oversexed. I mean, the woman’s had five boyfriends in her whole life! She’s a deeply misunderstood woman, in my opinion.”
@Jules you’ve certainly thought a lot about Ben’s supposed inner life with a Very pro JLo slant & anti Garner, with not a little resentment towards her. Assuming Ben is half an idiot with no control over his personal life. I just don’t believe he let his personal relationships be that affected by strangers and what they thought like you do. He’s more the f— all of them and what they think imo. Racists didn’t make him break up with JLo and get with Garner.That was what he decided on his own to do. He would never have married someone he didn’t love because he thought that’s what he should do, it was what he wanted at the time.
Oh my gosh thank you! I’m actually going to be graduating with a degree in psychology and I’m considering grad school! That is such a compliment. Thank you again! 🙂
We need to cancel him; he’s so bad about women and Garner. Groping women at awards shows. Gross
This is all that should be said about Ben Affleck. Why are women defending him as if JLo got the prize? Why is he always getting a free pass?
https://www.thesun.ie/video/news/ben-affleck-cuddles-tv-star-anne-marie-losique-and-demands-she-gets-her-ties-out-in-throwback-footage/
If you want to post it, at lease you should have the courage to post a fellow up by the woman herself: https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/anne-marie-losique-says-her-ben-affleck-interview-is-being-taken-context-1047745/, published in a hollywood trade magazine no less.
I know Ben has many scandals and many of which are his own doing, but this one you posted definitely isn’t. The woman admitted herself it was part of TV program to attract audience that they agreed upon beforehand, and all crew were always on site.
Jennifer Garner and the rest of us: “This MF can’t make up his GD mind.” https://www.econotimes.com/Ben-Affleck-reportedly-wants-Jennifer-Garner-back-Peppermint-actress-considering-a-reunion-with-ex-husband-1586074
That was a combination of rumors, pressure and guilt most likely.
“Hello folks! I’m your host here on Addicts Say the Darndest Things! Today we hear from veteran Benny on that old chestnut: I used because of the circumstances I myself created for me!”
I hope he is still seeking treatment. This crap and the “cross to bear” crap show us he has yet to develop self awareness. Yea, poor you, man. Boo flipping hoo. Someone needs to make Ben keep a gratitude journal. FFS. Or put a sock in his mouth. Shhh.
I just watched that, and having watched many of his past interviews sober and not, he is on something here.
Some kind of stimulate, and maybe some alcohol.
He seems amped and mellow at the same time.
Could it be coke? He has used it in the past and he has list a ton of weight
Wow keep blaming the womenfolks.
Mind blowing.
BenAffleck made vows at the time of marriage. I dont believe anyone forced him to get married, He caomes accross as a self absorbed selfish spoiled teenage brat!
To say he felt trapped – He made the desicions to marry Jennifr Garner What a self centered egotist.
Jennifer Garner is too classy for this dusch bag. J Lo is perfect for him- Also a self absorbed egotist PErfect for each other. Thank God the kids have Jennifer Garner – Breath of fresh air and a Lovely human being. Go away Ben we can’t stand you. Go get a bottle of Scotch and shut
T F U!
Personalistic uneducated statement.