In the Duchess of Sussex’s The Cut profile, the coup de grace happens towards the tailend of the profile. Meghan says, “It’s interesting, I’ve never had to sign anything that restricts me from talking. I can talk about my whole experience and make a choice not to.” She says she’s made an effort to forgive the people who hurt her and smeared her, that she’s “really made an active effort, especially knowing that I can say anything.” Those quotes have struck fear and panic into the very heart of the monarchy, and the British media too. Dan Wootton suggested that Kate and William fly out to California to kidnap Harry and bring him back to the UK. Sarah Vine cried about how diabolic it was, the idea that Meghan could tell her own story whenever she chooses. Don’t forget the clownery from Kensington Palace too – they ran to the Telegraph to cry about how KP staffers would become “whistleblowers” and tell all about Meghan too. Well, it looks like Prince Charles is crying about Meghan’s implied threat to tell all, and he’s telling people that he’ll “freeze out” the Sussexes. Freeze them out of what again? Some highlights from this bonkers Daily Beast/Royalist story:

Charles will freeze out the Sussexes: The friend told The Daily Beast: “Charles adores Harry, and would like nothing better than to get the relationship sorted. But a meeting next week is unlikely. Everything was already on hold until they saw what was in Harry’s book, but if Meghan is actively threatening to reveal further secrets, and telling interviewers, ‘I haven’t signed anything, I can say anything I want,’ then it’s not surprising they are being frozen out.”

The quasi-royal tour:The couple’s decision to visit the U.K. on a quasi-royal tour next week has been greeted with irritation behind the walls of Buckingham Palace. While outsiders may simply see the couple as altruistically giving their time to support causes that are, as they say, “close to their hearts,” crown loyalists and their critics argue that the couple is provocatively treading on the territory of the actual royal family.

Meghan is doing something with Edward Enniful? One evening, fashion sources say, will be given over to attend the launch of her friend Edward Enninful’s memoir. The British Vogue editor invited Meghan to guest-edit the September 2019 issue and has consistently been one of her most ardent supporters.

The Queen’s prime minister meeting on Wednesday: Appearing in the traditional photo of the hand-kissing ceremony and making some small concession to her health—holding a stick or sitting down, for example—would blow away coverage of Harry and Meghan in the domestic press for days.

The WellChild Awards appearance: On Thursday evening, Harry is due to attend the WellChild awards, an event he used to go to when he was a working royal. Critics say the couple is attempting to continue casting themselves as, to all extents and purposes, full-fat royals.

The Cambridge kids’ first day of school: It will be interesting to see which British newspapers (if any) choose to devote Friday’s front pages to Harry and which to William and Kate’s children, all three of whom have their first day at their new school, Lambrook, on Thursday, following the family’s move to Windsor over the summer. William and Kate are likely to do the school run themselves, their presence an implicit rebuke to Meghan’s assertion in The Cut that to do the school run in the U.K. would have involved her running a gauntlet of 40 photographers. One photographer will be present for the official photo that will then be distributed to all media.

[From The Daily Beast]

The Royalist also quoted from “British publicity strategist Mark Borkowski” who claimed that the Cambridges will do nothing and not try to see the Sussexes because William and Kate are safe in the knowledge that Meghan has no support or empathy from the British people, and that Brits see Meghan as “a caricature media monster.” True story, Kate repeatedly exploited a murder victim for her own ham-fisted PR rehabilitation, so STFU with “Meghan is a caricature media monster.”

It’s hilarious to me that the Windsors are suddenly doing the most to look booked and busy during the week the Sussexes will be in town. If this was any old September, we wouldn’t see Kate until the end of the month, when she would suddenly turn up with fresh Botox, a fresh blowout and a deep tan from her two-and-a-half month summer holiday. Ten bucks says that William and Kate do a lot more than just the awkward school photo on Thursday too.

As for Charles “freezing out” the Sussexes… what is left to freeze out? The Sussexes don’t take Charles’s money, they’re not asking for his help with anything and he only *just* got to meet his granddaughter Lili in June. Charles is such a disappointment.

Photos courtesy of Instar, Avalon Red.