Robert DeNiro is a notoriously difficult man to interview. He got the reputation through years of giving grunts and shrugs to reporters, for refusing to divulge or participate in even the most basic of publicity tours. But in the past few years, it seems like DeNiro has softened. He’s been trying more comedies, working with a wide range of actors and directors, and he’s basically become a hell of a lot sweeter, at least in my mind. It could totally be that DeNiro was always a kitten, and he just wanted to give off the impression of a tough guy. Something loosened him – and it’s nice to see.

He’s out promoting Everybody’s Fine, a family dramedy about “a widower who reconnects with his grown children“ costarring Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale and Sam Rockwell. He gave a surprisingly sweet (and lengthy) interview to Parade Magazine this week (complete interview here), and there are some really lovely moments. Here are the highlights:

DeNiro on becoming a star: “I think it’s important to have had at least a few years of obscurity, where people treat you like everybody else. Then it goes crazy, and all of a sudden people behave differently toward you, they’re agreeing with you all the time, they’re not telling you no.”

Why he did Everybody‘s Fine: “I like Kirk Jones, the director. I think everything he does will be special. Good directors can bring certain things out of you, with their intensity or gentleness or sensitivity or understanding. They can make an actor feel he can do no wrong.”

DeNiro on what his youngest children—twins Aaron and Julian, 14, and Elliot, 11— think of his success and fame: He smiles his famous impish smile. “My kids aren’t too impressed with me,” he says. “They don’t say very much about my career. Sometimes they Google me, though. And who knows what their friends say?”

De Niro on growing up in New York City in the 1940s, 50s and 60s with his painter parents: “It was an exciting time to grow up. Kind of bohemian. Things were happening. There were big changes. I wasn’t really a part of it, though. I was more on the outside. But by virtue of being an actor, I was a good observer of it.”

On always knowing he would be an actor: “I didn’t have a Plan B. I never quite got to the point of needing one. I did one thing, then the next. I was able to sustain myself. I had some regular life behind me. It anchored me, going into the future.”

On his acting process: “In acting, I always try to go back to what would actually be the real situation, the real human behavior in life. It’s the most difficult thing and the easiest thing, and it’s all you need—the truth of the moment. If you give too much, if you telegraph things, you weaken it. You have to trust yourself not to do more.”

On Los Angeles, and why he prefers New York: “We had a house there, my first wife and our oldest kids. But I never really lived in it much. I like to visit L.A., but I wouldn’t want to live there.” His first wife was the actress and singer Diahnne Abbott. She brought her daughter, Drena, to the relationship, and he and Abbott also have a son together, Raphael. Both kids now live in New York. It’s a New York family and always was. “My father’s side was working-class, lower middle-class,” De Niro says. “My mother’s side didn’t have much money. They were kind of academic. My grandfather was a working man. He worked for the health department.”

On giving advice: “I don’t mind giving advice. I’ve had more experience, just by virtue of being alive longer, so I don’t mind doing that—if people ask. I don’t want to be preachy.”

On his costars: “Drew Barrymore was terrific to work with. I knew her mother a little, when Drew was a little kid. Kate Beckinsale was terrific, too, and Sam Rockwell. The crew, too. It was like an extended family, especially because we were on location. Everyone cared about everyone else, everyone tried their best, everyone felt it was a special endeavor. The director made it feel very sincere.”

[From Parade]

See? Doesn’t he seem like a sweetheart? I wish he was my special friend. I don’t mean that in a sexual way, although I’ve seen him in more than a few movies where he seemed very sexy to me (mmm… Heat). I just want DeNiro to talk to me and give me advice, maybe I could cook for him, and we could take a walk or something. Just a special friendship.

In other DeNiro news, he received the Stanley Kubrick award for excellence in film at the Bafta/LA Britannia awards last night. Once again, he startled reporters by being nice and by declaring himself “happy” to be receiving the award (I swear, the BBC actually reported it that way). He also chatted with reporters about the film he’s working on right now, Little Fockers, the third film in the Meet the Fockers franchise. DeNiro said: “I don’t know if I can say it’s the best one, that’s for the audience to decide – but we’re having fun. Is it the greatest movie ever? I hope so, we’re having fun doing it.” So cute. I love him.

Here’sRobert De Niro with Drew Barrymore at the AFI’s screening of ‘Everbody’s Fine’ in Los Angeles on November 3rd. Images thanks to WENN.com .