In February, there were several (hilarious) stories about all of the angst and big feelings within the British aristocracy, all over the invitation list for King Charles’s coronation. The Duke of Norfolk is in charge of the guest list, obviously in consultation with Charles and the Chubbly committee. Well, the Earl of Rootentooter and Viscount Finger Bowl are quite worried that at the end of the day, they’re not going to be invited to the coronation. The posh people are unsettled, so much so that they might have to summon their quill and parchment to formally complain. Of course, Richard Eden (aka Maureen) has to frame this growing aristo angst by talking about… the Sussexes.
There’s no doubt about it: Coronation fever is in the air. No, not at a certain ‘Spanish Revival-style’, £11 million mansion in Montecito, California, which, by some accounts, boasts nine bedrooms and 19 bathrooms — and at which, according to their spokesman, an email recently arrived from Buckingham Palace, advising Harry and Meghan to ‘save the date’ for Saturday, May 6.
I refer, instead, to the tension brewing up in lesser dwellings — a stately home or two, as well as mere manor houses — which lack the gym, bar, five-car garage and other amenities of Harry and Meghan’s residence. These houses — some of them in need of almost continuous repair — are the homes of those who are, or have long considered themselves to be, good friends of King Charles and Camilla, but from whom the precious email has, so far, been withheld.
‘Some of them are furious, especially those who have made rather a lot about their royal friendships over the years,’ an amused grandee tells me. ‘They’re finding the wait excruciating. And, for some, it’s going to end in humiliation.’ Indeed it is. No fewer than 5,000 were crammed — almost crow-barred — into Westminster Abbey for Queen Elizabeth’s Coronation in 1953.
‘Scaffolding was specially installed, so that you had row after row more or less sitting on top of each other,’ reflects a historian of the Abbey’s state occasions. ‘But that sort of Heath Robinson arrangement simply isn’t possible today because of health and safety.’
In consequence, no more than 2,000 will be able to attend this time. Aware of this, some, I’m told, have resorted to trying to emphasise their links to charities which are likely to be favoured with a handful of invitations. Camilla is, after all, patron of over 100 such bodies, ranging from Macmillan Cancer Support and Marie Curie to the National Literacy Trust.
But such ploys, of course, offer no guarantee of an invitation, which will be sent by post only after prospective guests have received — and acknowledged — the prized, preliminary email. I’m told by a royal source that the emails are being sent in batches — periodically. ‘It’s a practical arrangement,’ I’m assured.
So it’s not just that the aristos are mad that they haven’t gotten their invitations, it’s that Meghan and Harry confirmed that they received their email and the Duke of Bugf-ckshire hasn’t. Someone made the point that if Charles wasn’t so hellbent on showing off and inviting foreign monarchs and Camilla’s extended family, he would actually prioritize the aristocrats because they could do some real damage to him. I don’t know, though – Charles is getting it from every angle at this point. His younger son (hopefully) won’t even show up. The anti-monarchy protests keep getting bigger. The Chubbly keeps getting more expensive. Would you prioritize these terrible people?
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images.
I’m loving this journey for Charles and all the aristocrats who treated Meghan horribly! It’s wonderful seeing everyone getting exactly what they deserve 😃
I agree with you in theory. This is Richard Eden(Maureen). More often than not, what he says and writes is the opposite of the truth. My impression is that it’s his job to make it seem like people are excited about the Chubbly and are fighting for invites and seats. Similar to Petronella Wyatt’s tweet about Lords being salty. I can’t find the tweet at the moment – a twitter name of John of Bucaresti? called Petro out about how the whole thing works (they shared a document) and it involved people needing to apply to have a seat-a payment may have been required to secure a seat. What if, the truth is, there is little interest in the Chubbly.
I can buy that. Easily see the Duke of Sooverchuck and Earl of Havetodosomethingelseshire rsvp’ing-thanks, previous plans.jmo
“ lesser dwellings — a stately home or two, as well as mere manor houses — which lack the gym, bar, five-car garage and other amenities of Harry and Meghan’s residence. These houses — some of them in need of almost continuous repair”
WTF. Is he okay? This sounds like pure unhinged jealousy wow.
His job is to link anything to Harry and meghan for the clicks and searches. It’s about SEO.
There are a lot of layoffs coming for journalists in the UK so this is what you get.
When the Telegraph is paying journalists by the click then you know the most unhinged stories will be produced.
This. Some of it is certainly personal animus (they simply don’t like Harry and Meghan for not playing the game), but much of it is SEO. They need the clicks. It’s like Fox News lying about Jan 6 because they know it’s what their viewers want.
No! He is not OK.
This is the answer! 😂
These stately homes look impressive but are absolutely horrendous to own. They have nonexistent heating, horrid and far distant bathrooms, and roofs that are continually going. I’d hate to be an aristocrat, no word of a lie, and not just because they are awful people. A big modern house in California is paradise by comparison and I’m sure they are all jealous.
I had to buy an older home in need of repair because houses in Oakland CA are really expensive. It needs basically everything – insulation, heat, roof, electrical, plumbing. I am managing that by… Taking out construction loans that we will pay off by working. Is that like too shamefully lower class for these people?
They’d have to work in private equity to earn enough to pay for the repairs to these places – and frankly none of them are clever enough for that. Occasionally they get a windfall from filming, like the Carnarvons did from Downton Abbey.
@EBS, from my (very limited!) knowledge, it seems like the exception to the rule when an aristo is able to actually make money from these grand estates; the one where Downton was filmed is a good example (same with HP/Hogwarts, I think?). And Rose Hanbury seems to have the talent to successfully bring some revenue in? But for the most part, my impression has always been that most of the owners of those homes have only the homes and the land, and upkeep is a constant struggle (well, relatively speaking 🙄), same goes for keeping the estates in the family.
@Lorelai, yes, that’s right, for the most part. Some of them have other money and are very wealthy (the Duke of Westminster and others have significant holdings in London, the Earl of Iveagh is a major Guinness heir, etc). But the majority of them are asset rich and cash poor.
Non-Royal English Estates that make money: Longleat, Woburn Abbey, Chatsworth, Blenheim Palace, Doddington Hall, Holkham Hall, Beaulieu Palace House, Alnwick Castle…I am sure there are more but these are the estates that I know make money via reading books and TV documentaries.
@BTB yes exactly – those you mention are the most prestigious ones, the homes of the Dukes of Bedford, Northumberland, Devonshire, Marlborough, Marquess of Bath, Earl of Leicester etc. They are among the relative few who have money, but there are over 800 aristocrats, most of whom fall into the category I mentioned. Doddington Hall, for example, was described in the press as losing £100k per year even pre-pandemic.
@EBS – Check out An American Aristocrat’s Guide to Great Estates – Doddington Hall: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12612832/?ref_=ttep_ep5
This show is definitely worth the watch
@BTB – will do, but I wouldn’t believe everything they tell you in shows like these. I’m sure Julie Montagu is a charming person but they are all merching anything they can to make money.
They’re all terrible except H&M and a few “commoners” they feel they must invite, so I don’t know who I would prioritize. I just hope we keep getting these posts about outraged aristos with names like Viscount Finger Bowl and Lord Cummerbund. Not to mention the Duchess of Fuzzbottoms.
Do not forget the Earl of And-or-Wherever!
I just don’t get why they are so hung up on the Sussexes’ home. They paid for it themselves, so why does it bother them so much??
(For example why aren’t they so riled up about the ghastly Wessexes/Edinburghs in their gifted 130-room house? I wonder how many bathrooms they have?)
I mean, boo hoo for those poor aristos in their crumbling mansions. What a message for the people of the UK struggling to keep their houses warm and food on the table.
Their home in montecito looks lovely and then there’s the weather! Orange trees and a swimming pool! There’s a lot to be jealous over and then the fact that Harry and Meghan actually escaped the rota. And is suing some of them and maligning the rest in a best-selling memoir. That’s a lot of bitterness.
At the very top of the list, they are pissed that the Black Duchess married the Ginger Prince, and they rode the hell out of Salty Isle at sunset. Jealousy, thy name is racist aristocrat.
Is it just me or is the author implying these people are mad because if they aren’t invited they’re going to lose the opportunity to hit Chuck up for money to fix their dilapidated shacks?
It was mainly a jab at H&M, to unsubtly try to link their “fortunes” with aristos’ misfortunes. It’s muckraking and distracting from W&K’s many houses.
I mean if you’re participating in cash for access schemes I feel like it makes sense to prioritise someone who can afford 19 bathrooms over someone who can’t afford the upkeep of a Manor House.
Never know when you might need to ask for some cash as a favour. Lol.
No, he’s not ok. He’s highly obsessed with Harry and Meghan.
@EYEROLL, THAT’S BECAUSE IT IS 😂The jealousy, house envy, and down right foot stamping of “it’s not fair I want one” envy drips from every word of this diatribe. The Lords are restless are they, “shame”, let them eat cake and sulk in their ermine and robes. This is typical of this little man, has to make everything about Megan. Mind you so have all the British press, because without meghan and harry, it’s all one big bore
I cannot BELIEVE someone is still going on about the number of bathrooms the Sussexes have, JFC.
Also, can someone explain Kaiser’s “Maureen” reference to me? What did I miss about Eden?
Mimi, Richard Eden got caught using his burner account on Twitter. He was pretending to be woman named Maureen.
Lorelei, a couple of months ago Eden exposed himself as having a burner account on Twitter under the name Maureen. So everyone is ribbing him about it
Thank you! Also, lmao at Eden, he’s such a little pr!ck. I hope he was sufficiently humiliated when that happened.
right? I like how they honed in on that when Charles has multiple whole castles and palaces to choose from, all of which make H&M’s place look like a broom closet LOL
Richard Eden(Maureen) is not okay.
Varying numbers, the Sussexes home, may have 14 bathrooms that includes other buildings on the estate. Guess what, Dickie/Maureen! Our less than 1500 sq. ft. home has 3 plus bedrooms and 3 bathrooms (only 2 you can bathe in). But, we have 3 toilets! Super fancy. Super helpful when hosting a party.
LOL. Are the Sussexes supposed to feel bad about the aristos problems? Harry talked about fixing plumbing issues at their home. Are Salt Islanders (aristos) mad that H&M take care of things at home?
I have a small one bedroom apartment and I have 2in1 bathroom. I think for the size of my apartment I should shower when it rains outside and pee in front of the building. I wish I had more bathroom/ toilets though. My dream is to have a two bedroom+2 bathrooms apartment. One can dream. I envy you.
These British journalists are salty indeed. It’s ridiculous how they never fail to mention the number of toilets in HM house.
Harry and Meghan’s house in Montecito really bugs the s*it out of them. The article is dripping with bitterness and envy.
Harry and Meghan; the secret ingredients that make the most humdrum articles exciting.
“… the Earl of Rootentooter and Viscount Finger Bowl …”
I’m crying!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Don’t forget “the Duke of Bugf-ckshire”!!
Lesser dwellings? Give me a break. Not H&M’s fault that the aristos let their homes fall down around their ears or that they were built before cars or modern plumbing. Good going for Charles. He can alienate the poor with his out-of-control spending on the con and the aristos by snubbing them in favor of Cam’s family and foreign monarchs.
And those who have the decency to proffer bags of cash.
I think their homes are in disrepair because they don’t actually have the money to repair them. They are land rich but cash poor. Correct me if I’m wrong. I think that’s why they like to convince the masses that a paved driveway and no dog hair on the furniture is low class and nouveau riche. I think some of them are probably jealous of H&M for their lifestyle, in Montecito with their ocean views and updated 50 million bathrooms.
@JT you are totally correct. My old boss, who was born of an aristo British family, was going to the trouble of shipping old ‘family furniture’ from the UK to NYC to furnish his newly purchased upper east side townhouse. He told me that new furniture would be considered too common and nouveau riche. He couldn’t just buy a set of furniture because it would be too ‘matchy-matchy’. People of a certain class are expected to have estates full of antique family furniture they can just move around. For what he spent to ship musty old furniture all the way from the UK, he could have had fine quality custom furniture made here in the US. – But that’s not the aristo way…
@Angelica Schuyler – I know a couple of Brits who are exactly like the man you described.
Charles the Third is trying real hard to alienate people the way Charles the First did.
I’m getting a War of the Roses/Cromwell vibe more and more.
It isn’t inconceivable that the BRF will lose Windsor and Buckingham Palace to the public down the line and have to console themselves with living pampered private lives of economic desperation in Sandringham and Balmoral (unless the Scots run them out/seize it).
Isn’t it more pretentious to import your shabby chic furniture from the UK so you can mimic landed gentry?
Charles the Turd is and always has been a self involved fool
The fact that the writer instantly went to a green-eyed monster’s description of H&M’s home is just gross. The British media has such a dangerous obsession with Meghan.
I do hope those stupid aristocrats stew in their own insignificance for weeks.
And as for emails being the first official way to confirm: that is just beyond stupid in this case. What if the aristos are still using their aol.com accounts, or the royal email server tags a usual number of emails as “Spam,” etc?
I’d love to think of all the future gossip we’re going to read about over the coming weeks that will just be due to domain errors and junk mailboxes.
In fact, this whole Monarchy should be thrown into the junk box!
Yes. It’s BM 2036-30.
https://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/paint-colors/color/2036-30/green-with-envy
Most of them were probably jealous of Meghan’s simple yet fabulous place in Toronto. That she paid for herself. Not tax payer funded. Meghan earned her own money, paid for things herself and was happy doing so. She did these things without needing to bring other people down. It must, maybe? really suck to be a RR or royal commentator. A life of dishonestly.
I read the headline as “Aristocats,” not aristocrats, and giggled.
So, according to enraged Dicky Eden, we’re supposed to feel sorry for these upper-class twits because:
1. They haven’t gotten their save-the-dates for the coronation.
2. Their grand houses are in almost continuous need of repair, while Montecito has a bajillion fancy bathrooms.
3. Meghan and Harry are getting an invite, but they aren’t.
Okey-dokey.
Meghan needs to release a calendar with a different photo shoot in every bathroom for each month! I would but than and mail several to the tabloids
@quitecontrary I know, and I wonder how many of them went to the local pawn shop to try and get the family jewels and tiaras back for the day 🏪
Aristos not getting what they want!? Stop the world! Someone might send a strongly-worded parchment to Charles to express his extreme pique for not having been invited to Charles’s puffery-do. Yet to the aristos’ amazement, the world will keep spinning, despite their objections.
They are tossing their quills across the room as we speak.
“A strongly-worded parchment” 😭
I don’t know who I would prioritize. But I just hope we keep getting these posts about outraged aristos like Viscount Finger Bowl. I’m waiting to hear about Lord Cummerbund and the Duchess of Fuzzybottoms.
This entire event really seems extremely disorganized. I find it a little shocking that invites have not gone out yet, the event is not that far away. I have a very strong feeling it is going to be an absolute disaster, and the world press will be watching, while a petty, greedy and jealous King preens during his parade to show off the unearned wealth and stolen riches that will only highlight the vast difference between the life the taxpayers provide for him while their families go without. I don’t know how anyone could think this is anything but classless.
Everything does seem very last minute and thrown together for an event that Charles has been allegedly planning for decades. 6 or so weeks out and people are still getting save the date emails? I’m surprised at how sloppy everything seems, considering how much is riding on this event. Isn’t this supposed to be a showcase for what Britain does best? All of the pomp and circumstance?
Right? I was an event planner in a former job (obviously on a much lesser scale!) and we had our shit together far earlier than these people seem to. Relying on email addresses is a recipe for disaster. We’re halfway through March and they don’t even know the guest list yet? I’m loving this mess.
JT, I imagine a room full of musty, dusty, balding courtiers sitting around a table with printed lists of possible attendees. They argue about each and every name, and so they are only on page 30 of 2000 pages. They did finally contact the security services last week to secure the parade route, and they have paid the $10m deposit for the carriage and thrones, so they think they are on schedule.
My guess is that Chuck is going to use the invites to display that he isn’t a racist or a tone deaf elitest. It’s going to be fancy wallpaper over a moldy wall though.
Things would be further along if they did not spend so much time looking over their shoulders at the Sussexes. They are 2 people (+ 2 toddlers too young to attend). Surely they could plan the damn thing so that it does not matter if the Sussexes are there or not.
I think the wholebpoint of the clowning is for the nobility to swear allegiance th the new monarch. If you are going to continue with mideval traditions and institutions you should do it right in my humble opinion
It’s deeply strange that Charles isn’t making the aristocracy a priority for the coronation. What’s the point of hierarchy if you don’t get to partake in a perk that obvious? He should be ensuring support from them as well as giving people time to prepare to attend, get their coronets polished or whatever…
Charles is going to run the monarchy into the ground
At this rate the aristocracy will be bringing eggs too!
Yes! They should all be there to swear allegiance on bended knee, kiss the ring or whatever the tradition is. The big titles, little titles, all of them in their best gear and please give them some time to find what’s needed in the attics. What’s the point indeed?!
I think the aristocrats who matter have already been invited. The rest are on the waiting list – like seat-fillers at the Oscars.
AGREED. This “emails are going out in batches” is a ridiculous lie. I guess it’s technically correct, but it’s like the entire aristocracy applied to the same charter school, and now they are going through the bingo-like torture of finding out if their kid got in. I love it!
I’ll laugh if the Middletons are not on the guest list. They’ll go when/if Billy ascends to the throne.
It would be hilarous if the Middletons are invited instead of some aristos.
I can’t wait to not watch the coronation.
Hahahah me too!
I wish I could say the same, but I know I’m not going to be able to refrain from hate-watching it :/
I know myself well enough to know that my eyeballs need to see Cannot and Willnot bow/curtsy to Chuck and Cam, live. I feel certain one or both of them will crack a tooth, with all of the jaw clenching.
I literally find these things boring so I won’t. People marching in lock step look cool for a hot second and then I’m done. But I’ll come here and Twitter to see if there’s any interesting things that happened or clips to watch. For example, I watched the clip of Meghan and Harry walking down the aisle at the jubilee looking cool as hell and then another one of Kate turning around and muttering something to William looking like the evil witch she is. But I can’t watch it all the way through. For me, it’s boring. And I can’t deal with Nicholas Witchell’s voice. I tried once and then had to bounce out.
The fact that they started with.
“There’s no doubt about it: Coronation fever is in the air. No, not at a certain ‘Spanish Revival-style’, £11 million mansion in Montecito, California, which, by some accounts, boasts nine bedrooms and 19 bathrooms — and at which, according to their spokesman, an email recently arrived from Buckingham Palace, advising Harry and Meghan to ‘save the date’ for Saturday, May 6.”
LOL damn if H&M aren’t haunting their dreams.
Okay, H&M don’t have a ‘Spanish Revival-style’ mansion. Where does this guy get his information?
I did read that someone referred to it as an Olive Garden-wannabe house or something like that and I did kind of laugh. It’s more like Olive Garden wishes it was their montecito house.
What if they gave a Chubbly and no one came? Would it still have happened?
Just picture tv crews the only attendants other than the aging, haggard principals. ……..ah! dreams!
There shouldn’t even be coronation. Charles signed papers declaring him King when the Queen died.
Lord Butterfinger probably snubbed Charles’s pride steed, Camila, in the past and he’s been waiting 30 years to exact his revenge. Seriously though, I read that a lot of aristocrats never like Camila. And Charles would absolutely be that petty to either not invite them or wait until absolutely that last minute to send an invitation just to make them sweat.
Oh my lord! The man doesn’t even know how to use a damn search engine.
The house is called “Chateau de Riven Rock” and the estate was modelled on French houses that original builders loved while on a cycling holiday in the south of France. “It’s all French Provencal – a beautiful French country house.” Sitting on about 7 plus acres.
The main house features over 18,000 square feet of living space with 6 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms, foyer with staircase, elevator, formal living & dining rooms, gourmet kitchen with butler’s pantry, breakfast room, family room, library, billiards room with wet bar, home theater,game room, gym, wine cellar, spa with massage room, wet and dry sauna, garage and more.
The guest house features a living room, kitchenette and 2 bedrooms suites, as well as another playhouse.
The teahouse features a living room and powder room, sitting next to a stream fed koi pond
The children’s house features a living room, kitchen and bathroom. The grounds feature a gated entrance, patios, fireplace, BBQ with pizza oven, swimming pool, playground, organic vegetable garden, gazebo, 4 wells and a tennis court. The are are multiple rose gardens, citrus trees, berry bushes, wild flowers and even a massive jacaranda tree.
Lastly, everything is new and in good repair, and the climate is warm enough they can leave their doors and windows open most of the year. And yes, there are 16 bathrooms if you add up every powder room, but that many toilets spread over 5 separate buildings on 7 acres makes sense. Unless you make a habit of peeing in a bush.
So suck it up Eden and the rest of the aristos freezing their asses off in in their run down houses while having to walk 10 minutes to find a working toilet.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 SCORCHING, Ezburns! Take a BIG bow.
Seriously!
You are breaking British hearts here.
These people are his people. He should prioritize them but he’s caught up in a one-sided beef against his son and daughter-in-law. Charles is finally getting everything he wanted in life but he continues to make the Sussexes the story going into his coronation. The whole thing is stupid at this point.
The palace should have rented a stadium for the event, one large enough to accommodate all aristos and in open air for COVID protocols.
If Charles were smart, and not governed by pettiness, he would make sure that he had the loyalty of the UK, and that includes the aristocracy as well as the “commoners” and perhaps the realms where he still head of state and then the larger Commonwealth. The Brits have always had a reputation for doing pageantry better than anyone else, but the way this Coronation is developing looks like amateur hour, or at least the way press is reporting it. This information coming out in bitchy drips is starting to give this whole thing the emperor has no clothes kind of vibe. I wonder if part of the problem is that Charles keeps changing his mind and dithering over decisions. If he can’t inspire his courtiers to provide a harmonious occasion, how will he be any good being a unifying force which is the only real use a monarch has these days.
So, invites haven’t gone out yet? What the heck is bad brother doing? Isn’t he in charge of this abomination? Is he too busy or just being his lazy self?
Lol. Seriously Kaiser, not the Duke of Bugf—ckshire . I legit died . 🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Just wow. This makes absolutely no sense. The fury and direct connection to Harry and Meghan’s house (number of rooms and bathrooms) connected to other mental disorders should actually be a recognized psychiatric disorder in itself. As in, “Daddy never approved of me. That f-cking house in Montecito and all those bathrooms! Goddamnit to hell! ” Again, the American Psychiatric Association should look into this syndrome.
Ignoring the aristos will not work in UpChuck’s favour. If the likes of Lord and Lady Buggerall aren’t invited, I can see them all working up a head of expensively perfumed steam and turning against him. Between them and the tabloids, things are not looking up for Chuck’s reign.
I am sorry but I will laugh at this. Because 95% of them are so far up their asses believing their superiority and here that same superiority isn’t guaranteeing them an invitation to one of the most class exclusive events. LOL
Gross classist system. May I live to see that salty island become a republic!
Won’t someone please spare a thought for poverty-stricken aristocrats living in their decaying mansions/castles?
They must be gobsmacked that the half-black marrying son of the king got an e-mail before them.
Isn’t it finally time to say that the appointment of Edward Young was and is disastrous for the Royal family (operationally, strategically)?
Why is the british media so obsessed with H & M house? It’s ridiculous considering how many castles and mansions the RF has..but no, they have to count how many bathrooms H & M have.
Does it connect for these aristos & the tabloid writers that aristo $$ is paying for the palaces, mansions, castles, cottages, lodges, etc occupied and vacant that the Royal family control? So, the state of disrepair or financial struggle the aristos and all UK subjects experience is caused by the financial upkeep of the Royal family. The Sussexes impose no financial burden on UK taxpayers, aristos or otherwise. If they choose to resent anyone for their struggles, it should be the RF, not the Sussexes. Are they really that unaware?!
Huh. Looks like Maison Montecito has added a few more bathrooms…
1) Petty, but emails don’t arrive at someone’s residence. You’re 3 million years old if you actually type that into an article after listing multiple bedrooms and bathrooms.
2) I really, really, really hope someone gets gas during the coronation. Maybe the same someone who shamed the Pres for his gas.
3) That’s all my Friday pettiness.