This story came out last week but I just saw it, so I apologize for my tardiness. Jennifer Lopez appeared on Live with Kelly and Mark to discuss her large, blended family. Although Jen and husband Ben Affleck are enjoying a big, happy family vibe, the fact is, when they united their two fronts, they ended up with a whole house full of teenagers. Of all of the things you want doubled when you merge households, teens are likely not your first choice. Jen told Kelly and Mark that it was kind of a shock to go from babies, who tend to listen to their parents, to these pre-teens and teens who “start challenging you.” I imagine if you multiple that by five, yeah, that would be “tough.”
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have their hands full.
During a new guest appearance on Live With Kelly and Mark, the “Let’s Get Loud” singer opened up about her and her husband’s blended family. Between them, the couple share five children in total, four of whom are teenagers.
“That’s almost five teenagers. The youngest is 11, so he’s not quite [a teen], but preteen,” Lopez told hosts Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos. “He’s an angel.”
She added, “The teenage years are tough. They start challenging you and everything. You have this baby for a while and then it’s like your best little friend who loves being with you all the time, and all of a sudden they’re like, ‘Get out of my room.’”
Consuelos—who shares three children with Ripa—offered a few words of comfort to the multi-hyphenate: “But, you know they come back when they’re in their 20s.”
“Twenties?!” Lopez replied. “Jesus Christ! I’m so depressed.”
“It’s crazy, I feel like I had them yesterday. They were just babies a little while ago,” Lopez continued. “It’s the time when they are individuating and they are challenging everything you say and everything you do and everything you are. And that’s what it is. And you have to kind of just ride the waves. I feel like it’s like surfing. I’m just riding the waves—whoops, just got knocked over. Now, I’m back! I’m back!”
She also described the struggles of being a mother of teenagers.
“I think it’s particularly hard on moms a little bit. Because they always kind of love Dad,” she said. “They are always kind of like, ‘Dad’s the best.’ And I was like that with my dad too. My mom told me—and I’ll say it to you right now on TV in front of everybody—I understand you so much more now.”
Jen and Ben’s problem is numbers. Once they got five, it became mob rule. I’m kidding. Five teens sounds overwhelming to me and so far, teenagerdom is my favorite phase. Maybe because mine challenged me from the start, the little brats. No! Again, I’m kidding – kind of. I don’t know how to communicate with younger kids. I tend to approach things through discussion and four-year-olds don’t really have many counter arguments I can relate to. So once my kids brought their own viewpoints into the picture, our relationship took on a larger dimension. It’s just different for everyone, I think. But again, I have two and there are two adults. We’re not outnumbered.
I love Jen likening raising kids to surfing and getting knocked over by the waves of challenges. It’s an apt description. I also related to Jen telling her mom how much she understood her own mother now. I call my mom all the time and apologize for stuff I did as a kid as a result of having to deal with my own offspring doing it. What comes around goes around. I so get it now.
Photo credit: Cover Images and Instagram
They will all have Tshirts made that say “I challenged The Mother “.
START challenging you? FFS my life is over. My 5 yo is my mini me through and through and idk if I am going to survive this year, much less her teen years.
My thoughts exactly. My mini me turned 6 years old today. I love her to bits but I have no idea how we’re going to survive her teens. At her Kindergarten, they told me that they’ve never had a kid who can argue so much, and so well. The kiddo can’t help it with both parents being lawyers.
My exact thoughts Vivica. My 6 year old challenges me every minute he’s awake hahaha. His favorite thing to do right now is ask me a question he doesn’t know the answer to and then tell me I’m wrong anyways. He’s going to make a great lawyer 🤣
Aww, y’all have little Captain Insanos like I did! It’s fun right?! My boys had an underlying theme which ran through each of them, “Don’t you tell me what to do.” I screamed that at my mom in my teens, and she screamed back, “I hope you have a kid just like you.” The Mother’s Curse. It works. My oldest got it from me, and now his 2-1/2 year-old swaps him away, smiling while saying, “NOO-AH! Me do it. Go.” Bahahahaha.
It’s too early to tell if this was a good parenting move or not, but as an elder millennial/xennial and older first time parent, I talk to my daughter like she is a tiny adult (on age appropriate topics) and try to use reason with her. The flip side is that she uses 5 year old logic with me and sometimes presents a very compelling case. I don’t know the number of times I wanted to be mad about something but I just can’t because a) she got it from her mama or b) the kid has a point. It is sooooooo exhausting. hahahaha
@ Mabs A’Mabbin, I hear you with the Mothers Curse! As much as I adore my daughter, she put us through hell and back during her teenage years and my mother told me the same thing, you will see what I had to deal with with YOU! And as much as I love my daughter, I was a little disappointed that she/they decided against having children. It wasn’t that I was sad that she wouldn’t have children, but I was sad that she wouldn’t see what we experienced with her!! How I, or she, survived those years is a miracle!
@VIVICA you will survive and it will get worst.
I got teens going on adulthood
My partner has 2 teens and I have 2 teens, we are waiting to live together until they are all out of school. It didn’t feel fair to expect them to manage so many changes in their high school years.
I honestly can’t imagine trying to get them all to live together. They are all great kids but everyone needs their space.
Good for you and that’s exactly what would have done. But Jennifer was so eager to fuse her family with another she was looking for a bigger house 2 months after they reunited. Which was crazy. I think it was Ben who held her off doing that for a year because that’s how long it was before they actually joined households. My kids are adults now but I remember the early years (before elementary) being hard as F and then the teenage years (and I had pretty good kids no drugs or alcohol probs anyway) hard as F too because of their friends taking over importance and just the danger they could get in. I didn’t get a full nights’ sleep until they were in their twenties! I just can’t imagine doubling my worry because of double the teenagers in my house. I would have lost it.
@ Lens, I agree with your views regarding JLo. Why she was so eager to jump from one mixed family immediately into another was simply irresponsible. Her twins had invested so much with ARod, his children and the years invested and intertwined. I am at least glad that Ben had the forethought of waiting. Children may be able to “bounce back” but we shouldn’t test that in them. Childhood is hard enough without adding unnecessary trauma and stress.
I don’t know how they planned it, or how they put things in place, but getting a bigger house that can accommodate all of the kids — and their possibly ever-changing choices — seems like a good move to me. You don’t have to immediately “fuse” your blended family to ensure that all of the kids feel welcomed in the spaces of their home(s). I admit to being biased though, since one of my parents did exactly the opposite in the midst of an acrimonious divorce.
@ Tez, Kudos for your decisions to allow the space for the sake of all of them, and you both as well! You are making the sacrifices for your children and it’s commendable!!! I hope that your children grow up and appreciate the sacrifice that you are both making!!
This Jennifer I love. The little I’ve seen of their kids they seem adorable. I have favorites lol, the two girls, I think Violet and Emme. I know I’m not their parent but also know from experience it does get better. I was lucky my firstborn was never a minutes worry. As he’d go out the door sometimes I’d say oh yeah I guess I’m supposed to ask you where you’re going, who will you be with and what time will you be home. We’d both laugh and he’d leave.
I like that pic of jlo. It looks honest and relatable. I wish celebrities would stop with all the filtering and angles and poses and finally embrace getting older, they are our role models.
I can relate completely! I have three daughters and my husband has two sons. We moved in and married about four years ago with four of them being teenagers and it was/is a lot!
I lol’d at her reaction to them coming back in their 20’s
I have two teens and a 20-year-old. I love this phase, even though it’s been hard, too. We call it the second toddler-hood in our house because some of the issues are the same — challenging, rebelliousness, “I DO IT”-ness, etc. But like Hecate, I feel like my skill-set works better on teenagers than toddlers. My husband, on the other hand, is frustrated every day (but he was a freaking rockstar with the toddler years).
JLo’s and Ben’s kids have had a lot of upheaval in their lives, though…the teenage years might be a little rougher because of that. Parenting is a crazy job, and I wish them luck and peace.
I am loving your perfectly executed label!!! It sounds like you and your husband make the perfect team!! It’s so hard when it’s a balancing act as you both try to make things work especially with teenagers.
It’s so worth it to get to the other side. Teens need respect and a ton of it. And it’s the stage of parenting when you need to listen a tons more and say a tons less. Say nice things about your kids every day, build them up as much as you can. Learn about their worlds – such different places from our teen years. As a parent one of the biggest mistake I made was assuming that I knew what they were going through — such an error in judgment.
This is great advice – thanks!
Heck yes
Another mom of teens (3 boys) here.
This has been my favorite phase of parenting so far. Love seeing who they are becoming. Having teens (at least for me) gets a very bad rap.
I want her Plastic surgeon. I saw her on The Mother on netflix and she looks awesome