Shannen Doherty was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. In 2016 she underwent chemo and radiation when the cancer spread to her lymph nodes, and documented shaving her head on Instagram. By 2017 she was in remission, but in early 2020 she announced that it had returned as stage 4. It had actually returned a year earlier, but she kept it a secret because she didn’t want work opportunities to disappear, and she didn’t want people to start saying goodbye prematurely. Then at the end of April this year Shannen filed for divorce from her husband of 11 years and strongly hinted that it was due to his cheating on her with his agent. So while he was (apparently) elsewhere, this week Shannen posted videos on her Instagram of what she was going through mere months before the split:

“Charmed” and “Beverly Hills, 90210” actor Shannen Doherty said on Instagram Tuesday that her breast cancer, which she was first diagnosed with in 2015, has spread to her brain.

The news was shared with an emotional video of Doherty, 52, crying as she underwent radiation. The process entails patients wearing a custom-made mask that keeps the head still during the treatment so that the lasers can hit the tumor as accurately as possible.

“On January 5th, my ct scan showed Mets in my brain,” Doherty said. “…January 12 the first round of radiation took place. My fear is obvious.”

Doherty says that she is “extremely claustrophobic” and that “there was a lot going on in my life” when the treatment was conducted. The announcement came a day after she shared another video in which she was being fitted for the radiation mask after she received her CT scan.

“That fear… The turmoil… the timing of it all… This is what cancer can look like,” she added.

Doherty has been dealing with her cancer diagnosis for years. She was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015, after she says that her dog Bowie started to “obsessively sniff” her side. By 2016, the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, and she had to undergo eight rounds of chemotherapy and radiation.

She went into remission in 2017, but a year later, her tumor markers became “elevated,” according to the Associated Press. Then in 2020, she announced on “Good Morning America” that it had returned as stage 4, meaning that it has spread beyond its original location, according to the American Cancer Society.

Doherty broke the news that her cancer has spread weeks after the “Heathers” star filed for divorce from her husband, Kurt Iswarienko, her representative told the Associated Press. They had been married for 11 years.

“Divorce is the last thing Shannen wanted,” her publicist told the outlet. “Unfortunately, she felt she was left with no other option.”

[From CBS News]

I don’t want to waste any more space here on her ex, his actions speak for themselves. What does deserve attention is Shannen’s bravery in sharing these videos. They are vivid and horrific. The first, from January 9th, shows her being fitted for the protective mask. Her head rests on the back part of the mask, and a malleable cover is placed over her head. The top piece has an opening around Shannen’s eyes and nose, but not her mouth. A popsicle stick is placed over the piece at the mouth area for Shannen to bite down on (through the mask material). After she bites down three medical attendants set about fastening the top piece to the part her head is resting on, this is done one-by-one with five screws that audibly snap into place, effectively bolting her to the table. Whoever is filming this (I hope it’s a friend) has moved closer to Shannen at this point and we can see her quietly crying and trembling underneath the blanket. That was just the fitting.

The second video, taken three days later, is much shorter and shows Shannen already bolted into the mask, popsicle stick-bit in place and under a neon red light. We hear clanking noises in the background, as well as attendants saying “That’s perfect. That’s fantastic, right there. Ooh that’s pretty good.” I presume they are commenting on something like a piece of equipment being set up properly, but it cannot be understated how jarring it is to hear those background comments (made by men), that sound like bad photoshoot dialogue, in juxtaposition with what we’re seeing: an extreme close up of the tears running down Shannen’s face. The video pulls back and ends with a doctor saying “That’s the hard part, Shannen, and now we’re gonna get going.”

I’m sure everyone reading this has their own personal connection to cancer through someone in their lives, if not themselves directly. I do. My family does. The disease and the treatments push the limits of what it is to be human. The nearly two million people who follow Shannen on Instagram will watch these videos and think, “I know that,” and hopefully will feel less alone.

One last thought: a dog can save your life.

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photos credit: Faye Sadou/Cover Images, Getty and via Instagram