Tatum O’Neal is probably best known for being the youngest person to win an Academy Award, for 1973’s Paper Moon. She was ten years old when she won her Oscar. The last time we covered her was in February 2020 and she was sharing how bad her rheumatoid arthritis was. As is so often the case with child actors, Tatum has had a hard life. Her dad Ryan O’Neal was not a good dad–Tatum wrote in her memoir that he had emotionally and physically abused her. She started struggling with addiction in adulthood and in 2020 it nearly cost her her life. She overdosed and had a stroke, and was in a coma for six weeks. When she woke up, she had lost the ability to speak. Over the course of the last three years, she has made a truly miraculous recovery, and is sharing with People Magazine about her sobriety and recovery. She is still struggling to read and write, but she can speak. Her son Kevin McEnroe is also quoted in the story.
What happened in 2020: In the early days of the COVID pandemic, O’Neal had been using — and abusing — prescription medications, some of which were prescribed for her back and neck pain and her rheumatoid arthritis. But on that day in May 2020, she overdosed on a combination of pain medication, opiates and morphine. A friend found her in her Century City apartment and she was rushed to the hospital.
In the hospital, O’Neal was diagnosed with aphasia, a disorder that results from damage to the part of the brain that is responsible for language, according to the NIH. She was in a coma, says Kevin, “and had damage to her right frontal cortex. At times, it was touch and go,” he says. “I had to call my brother and sister and say she was thought to be blind, deaf and potentially might never speak again.”Her recovery and healing process: Over the next two years, under medical supervision, and with regular therapy , she has fought to regain her full memory, an ongoing process. And while her vocabulary keeps getting better, there’s still a ways to go. As Kevin says, “Emotionally the things that made my mom want to take drugs in the first place, those things are still very present.” In addition to her daily therapy, O’Neal attends twelve step meetings (often via Zoom) and is working on her recovery, all under the care of her physician. “I’ve been trying to get sober my whole life,” says O’Neal. “Every day, I am trying.”
Her son says she’s never wanted to be sober just for herself: Looking back, says Kevin, “She could always want sobriety as a mom, but she never really wanted it for herself.” Now, he says, “She has embraced this attempt at recovery. She was always a very loving mom but when isolated, I think it was hard to find any love for herself.” Kevin, a writer who has had his own struggles with alcohol and drugs, has now been sober for three and a half years. “ It was a road to a short life but now I don’t feel that way,” he says. “And I’m so proud of her for trying.”
It really is a miracle that Tatum is alive and well after what happened, and that she’s regained the ability to speak. Her story reminds me that so many people struggle with addiction because of childhood trauma, or trauma generally. I completely understand why people who grow up with abusive parents end up looking for an escape. Emotional wounds from childhood are so hard to heal because our brains are so malleable then. It’s easy sometimes for those of us who have never struggled with addiction to judge the people who do–to look down at the street addict and think, “they’re just in that position because they made bad choices.” And yeah, addiction is a downward spiral staircase of self-destructive choices. At the same time, it’s also likely the case that someone, somewhere communicated to that person that they were unworthy or unlovable–and they believed it. Recovering from addiction is complex and usually requires a lot of support–medical, psychological, and community support. There is a crisis of addiction and overdose deaths in the U.S. but most people don’t have Tatum’s resources, and it is a terrible injustice. It should be easy to access addiction treatment, but it’s not. Multiple systems are failing people with addictions. I’m pulling for Tatum. Everyone who struggles with addiction should get the chance to recover and to heal.
Ugh…That pic with her scumbag dad, Ryan O’Neal – you can see the Andy Warhol Farrah Fawcett painting that he fought to break her will and keep for himself. I wish Tatum nothing but the best.
Growing up, Tatum was that cool girl (in the 1970s/80s sense) who we all wanted to be or friends with. And she married John McEnroe, the ultimate bad boy.
Anyway, always had a soft spot for her and hope she and her son Kevin the best.
I have a soft spot for her too. This is the best I’ve seen her relationship with her kids, maybe ever, and I wish her all of the best. Her life has been hard in a way very few can imagine.
Recently, I was on (prescribed) opioids for the first time in my life and did not enjoy the experience at all. I remember thinking, “how bad do things have to be if this is preferable to sobriety?” It gave me a lot of empathy for addiction.
Glad she’s recovering – she’s had a tough road.
I got opioids once in hospital (where I live, you only get opioids prescribed outside a hospital if you are terminally ill) and hated it as well. As if I was put in a huge cloud and everything was dulled and irrelevant.
But I can imagine, if a person is in constant emotional pain, this can feel reliving.
There’s an old 2009 article in New York Magazine that recounts the time when Ryan O’Neal hit on his daughter at his Farrah Fawcett’s funeral. The man is sick and twisted, is it any wonder his daughter struggles with issues of self esteem and addiction?
Poor Tatum never stood a chance with that family she grew up in. And she was so talented! That kid in Paper Moon, Addie Pray, was so great! Given her pretty much lifelong addiction problems, however, why in the world would she have a doctor prescribing her opiates & morphine for pain? And in sufficient quantities to cause an overdose??
Wishing her all the best, she’s come such a long way & has more living to do.
I’m glad Tatum is still here.! I’m rooting for her too. I read her memoir years ago, & it was truly harrowing. Both parents failed her and her brother. I remember she wrote how they were left alone for days. There were maggots in the garbage, & very little food . I think Ryan was a star then, & I think her mom was addicted to drugs. Ryan could have done more, but he was too busy living the life of a ” single, childless Hollywood star”.
Ryan should never have had children. Period.
I remember lots of terrible stories about all his children having neglect, emotional abuse, violence from him, for years.
I’ve always liked Tatum and I certainly wish her the best.
She has had a lot of hard times in her life. A lot of hard times.
And yes, I clearly recall the story of Ryan did not recognize her and was hitting on her at FF funeral.
IDK how she can even try to continue a relationship or see Ryan IRL. That man is toxic.
I was struck by how thoughtful and grounded Kevin sounded. It’s great that he’s in her corner, and hopefully her other kids are as well although I imagine they might not be if she was addicted for much of their childhood. What a cruel thing addiction is.
I’m glad to see that she has a good relationship with her kids and that they’re supporting her considering the nastiness of the custody battle & McEnroe (and Patti Smyth) gaining full custody of them
John and Patti (as I’ll call them) stepped in bc Tatum was a mess, lying about her drug usage and drinking. He tried to do joint custody but she was putting the kids in danger and they needed a stable home. I’m glad that Tatum came around years later and admitted it was the right thing to do for the kids.
There’s an old rumor that suggests he used a then-underage Melanie Griffith to rope Tatum into threesomes with them, and I’ve long suspected that one day we’ll hear much much much much worse stories of what he really did to Tatum.