Star Magazine’s cover story last week was Brad and Angelina’s alleged “fight to end all fights”. The gist of the cover story was that the police were called to Brad’s Los Feliz property two weekends ago because they were fighting so loudly over their Thanksgiving plans – Brad wanted to go to Missouri, while Angelina wanted to go to Asia. An “insider” told Star that Brad “told her she was being selfish. She was hyperventilating. She threw a chair across the room! It missed Brad, but he was really shaken up. Angelina’s a screamer and she gets physical. She’ll get in Brad’s face and shove him.” And I guess some neighbor of Brangelina employee heard the ruckus and called the cops, so the story goes.

Anyway, Us Weekly refutes Star’s story by actually getting quotes from a named LAPD police officer. The real story about the police visit was that the burglar alarm was activated somehow, and found to be a false alarm:

Trouble at the Brangelina compound?

In the early afternoon of Nov. 15, the Sunday before Thanksgiving, police arrived to respond to an alarm at the Los Angeles manse shared by Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and their six kids. Star magazine claims that the famous couple were having “their worst fight ever” and that neighbors have called in the past to complain about the ruckus made from their spectacular fights.

The real story? False alarm!

LAPD Sgt. Kyle Kirkman tells Usmagazine.com that a burglary alarm sounded at the Jolie-Pitt place at 12:54 p.m. Two officers arrived and confirmed that the alarm system was tripped accidentally, and were back on the road within 15 minutes.

“We went out and checked to make sure it’s a false alarm, and if it’s false, we leave. That’s basic protocol. That one was a real basic false alarm,” Kirkman tells Us.

So what caused the alarm to go off? “Lots of times what happens is something with the key pad — if they punch the wrong number, it automatically goes into a panic alarm, and we respond to that too,” Kirkman explains. (Maybe Maddox and Shiloh were goofing off with the keypad?)

Sadly, the officers didn’t get an audience with Jolie or Pitt — someone else answered the door.

As for stories of their knock-down drag-out fights, the Jolie-Pitts have been visibly content in Hollywood this week. On Monday, the couple was affectionate at George Clooney’s Up in the Air party; on Thursday, Jolie and Pitt took their eldest, Maddox, to cheer on pals Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon at Thursday’s premiere of Invictus.

[From Us Weekly]

It’s unimaginable to me to have six children in a home without the entire property being decimated, so it wouldn’t surprise me if the kids were playing around and somehow the alarm was activated. My theory is that Zahara was trying to sneak out to meet with her advisors, readying her plot for global domination.

In other Brangelina news, The Daily Mail is reporting that Brad and Angelina have been denied in their attempts to buy Chateau Miraval and/or the surrounding properties, so they will likely move out of the property next year. This contradicts some reports I’ve read before – that the original plan was some kind of complicated, lease-to-own scheme, where Brad and Angelina were legal “renters” of the property, but that their ownership was forthcoming. I’m not sure if the Mail is right, but I wouldn’t be shocked. French property law seems odd and convoluted to me.

Finally, in one last piece of news, the Enquirer (and other sources) got their hands on a new excerpt from Ian Halperin’s book. Halperin alleges, in this new excerpt, that Angelina and Jennifer met face to face “after Brad and Jen‘s 2006 divorce” (except they were divorced in 2005, but what’s a little fact-checking for a hack like Halperin?). Allegedly, Jen and Angie met at an “empty restaurant” and “Jen was upset and shouted at Angelina. There was an altercation, it got pretty heated . . . It reduced Jen to tears.” I think Jennifer just pretended Angelina was the ocean. Also, Halperin claims that before she met Brad, Angelina “said she wanted to go after either Bill Clinton or Johnny Depp.” I have no comment on the ever-asinine Depp rumors, but I will say this about the Bill Clinton thing: wouldn’t they be hot together? Can you imagine? I would totally buy it, too, if someone legit ever came out with a story about Bubba and Angelina. Granted, he usually doesn’t like women that skinny, but Bubba’s not that discerning. I would love to see that sex tape.