Jennifer Lopez was photographed out and about a few times on Friday, May 17. She was seen entering and exiting a Burbank dance studio, where she’s presumably prepping her tour. Later in the day, she was photographed going over to a school function for one of Ben’s kids. She had her arms full of sunflowers. Ben came over to talk to her and they did not hug or kiss in greeting. After the play, they walked out together and seemed like they were deep in conversation. All of those Ben-and-Jen photos are super-exclusive, but I’ll include some tweets at the end of the post. The important thing is that they were photographed together for the first time in 47 days. The important thing is that Jennifer still shows up to events for her stepkids. But it does look like all of the reports of significant marriage problems are true. Even People Magazine reported this:
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are living separately while both are in Los Angeles, according to multiple sources.
The couple were seen together in public on Thursday, May 16 for the first time since March 30, but a source close to Lopez, 54, tells PEOPLE that Affleck, 51, has not been staying at the couple’s Los Angeles home. He is instead staying at one of their other properties while filming his movie The Accountant 2.
Reps for Affleck or Lopez did not respond to PEOPLE’s requests for comment.
Lopez was spending time in New York in recent months to film her movie Kiss of the Spider Woman, promote the Netflix film Atlas and serve as a co-chair for the 2024 Met Gala, which she took part in without Affleck by her side. He recently attended the May 5 live Roast of Tom Brady solo between filming.
Yeah, whatever is happening, Benny Medina is letting this story come out. Maybe this is even the story J.Lo wants out there, since Benny doesn’t even seem to be doing any damage control. That’s important, because I think the default for a lot of people will be to solely blame J.Lo, when really, her behavior seems to indicate that she’s pissed off at Ben, like HE did something and she told him to move out. Speaking of, Us Weekly’s sources also noted that Ben “moved out” of the home he shared with J.Lo “several weeks ago.” Meanwhile, Page Six’s sources say that both Ben and Jen have been house-hunting separately in recent weeks.
So… yeah, my vibe is that they’re having significant problems but I’m hesitant to say it’s ALL Jennifer or ALL Ben. They’re two massively dysfunctional people, which is sort of why I’ve always loved them together – their dysfunctions fit together pretty well and I thought they really did love each other. We’ll see though – Jennifer has a big premiere on Monday night. Will Ben come out for her?
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were photographed for the first time together in over a month as Jen made it to a show for Ben's children, where Jennifer Garner was also in attendance.
More details: https://t.co/j0avmLOvwq pic.twitter.com/aVMaESa91O
— Entertainment Tonight (@etnow) May 17, 2024
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in Los Angeles https://t.co/yKNLY6LrWH
— Film Updates (@FilmUpdates) May 17, 2024
Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Backgrid.
-
- Burbank, CA – Jennifer Lopez was seen leaving Mihran K. Dance Studio in Burbank, still wearing a ring. Pictured: Jennifer Lopez BACKGRID USA 17 MAY 2024 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
-
- Jennifer Lopez dress casual in sweatpants and a loose top. Featuring: Jennifer Lopez Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 17 May 2024 Credit: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages
-
- Jennifer Lopez dress casual in sweatpants and a loose top. Featuring: Jennifer Lopez Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 17 May 2024 Credit: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages
-
- Jennifer Lopez dress casual in sweatpants and a loose top. Featuring: Jennifer Lopez Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 17 May 2024 Credit: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages
I’ve been pretty vocal about my thoughts on these 2.
But I’ve known the feeling of investing in celebrities only to be crushed by their reality, so for that I do feel for the people who believed in this romance.
I don’t believe it’s one or the other either.
I think both brought their own major issues to this. Jlo’s incessant need for validation & Ben has dark, dark demons.
So my hope is they can move on quietly, & prioritize their kids & work to foster those relationships now.
I do wonder how jlo will sing her new songs about her true love always. Awkward.
Yup, exactly this. I’ve always believed there is real love there but they are veeeeery different people who are complicated and messy.
I hope they and their families are doing alright and that they each have a good support network.
I have to disagree about love for each other.
When you love someone you do whatever you can to help them achieve their goals, aspirations, hold their hand through disappointment.
It looks like giving up parts of your dreams to help achieve theirs, knowing full well they are doing the same for you. It may look different because no 2 dreams are alike, but the results are the same.
What it doesn’t look like, what love will never be: publicly displaying your partners love letters for anyone to read all the while knowing full well how private a person they are.
That’s the opposite of love. That’s doing what you want to further your own needs. The very opposite of love.
I agree with you Kokiri. I was stunned to hear she did this, even for her it’s shocking. I would be mortified if someone shared my letters even with a family member. It’s private it’s not for general consumption. It’s a huge red flag. I’m not putting all the blame on her we all know his struggles – all the more reason to not share his personal thoughts feelings.
My ex MIL used to be privy to everything about our marriage. It was such a turnoff. Like dude stop sharing everything with your parents and grow up.
What is so frustrating is so many people warned her including Jane Fonda. Don’t do it. She just had to feed her massive ego. I think she is having a hard time aging. It’s hard when you’re the bees knees and suddenly you’re not younger people are stepping into your sphere. You aren’t selling out and you’ve lost the public’s adoration. I read somewhere one of her daily affirmations is about being ageless. Like it’s okay to grow older! She has an issue with it and getting the A lister Oscar winner Hollywood Golden Boy is her way of saying “see I matter! People love me. I am beautiful and relevant because I got him. Look at these letters. Look how much he loves me and thinks I’m sexy.” It’s weird.
I’m certain she has someone in the wings waiting already. She cannot be by herself for 18 seconds. I have a sister like this. She is on her 3rd marriage. This is JLO’s 4th marriage. Before that she was engaged to ARod and they merged families. Stop getting married already. Stop dragging your kids into every relationship where you’re merging families and then you’re done. Life is already crazy when you’re a teenager. Add to it your parents being massively famous and then all this relationship instability.
The Diddler and all his issues coming to light has thrown gasoline onto this fire. It was terrible timing. Last thing I am so glad Ben’s kids have Jennifer Gardner. I know there’s a lot of hate for her on this site but that woman is a hero and she has done everything she can to protect her kids.
SIde Eye, you have perfectly expressed my thoughts on all aspects and points of this situation, but so much more eloquently than I am able to manage.
Jennifer seems like a total narcissist to me. There is no room in her world for anything but the all important, all encompassing HER. So sad. The letter sharing was the absolute last straw. So tacky.
I’m with you, Side Eye, I’m glad Jennifer Garner’s kids have her. I feel sorry for all the kids in this scenario, especially given the almost desperate attempt to appear they were all a perfectly blended family right out of the gate.
@Kokirii- Exactly this. Their personalities are not compatible. It’ always starts off as fun and games but they are built too differently for a long haul. They just should have stayed dating and had the ability to go to their own corners when ready. Every real relationship doesn’t have to lead to marriage, especially at our big age when we are set in our ways.
These 2 were a great match 20 years ago but after seeing them along that 20 years, there was NO WAY it was going to last. Jlo was desperate for love again at a difficult time, he was single, she projected her idea of love, played it well, he fell for it, but deep down they probably knew a 1000% it wasnt gonna work. That wedding had to happen: they closed their eyes and hoped for the best. It lasted 2 years. I didn’t even thought they’d make it to the alter, I remember I gave them 6 months.
Excellent assessments, @Kokiri and @Side Eye. Nothing to add. 🎯
I never, not once, believed this was anything other than an arranged showmance.
It rehabilitated her post JROD and him past his substance misuse difficulties.
It did not give her a sell out album but they made bank from it and will make further from this break up.
Nicely played
I saw a report that he was photographed yesterday without his ring. Yeah, I think they’re having significant issues but I’m not sure which of them is more to blame (if either).
The thing is…if her projects about their love had been wildly successful, all would be great. It’s that they all bombed and embarrassment has set it. It’s Gigli all over again. And it was an unforced error on JLo’s part. She couldn’t help trying to rub people’s nose in it.
All I have to say is you can tell what a person is like based on how they treat staff/help/workers and based off of that J.Lo is an appalling person. There are countless stories about her over many years about this both on Twitter and TikTok. Ben for all his faults is known to treat staff/help/workers well, tips well and votes blue/progressive. He def has issues but as long as he’s not hurting anyone I wish him well
I was thinking the same thing. I have read a lot of incidents reported by people in the service industry that she is a horrid person. And even her husband Mark Anthony in one story called her out in public over her nasty behavior.
And then my thoughts turned to Jennifer Garner, who seems like a genuinely nice down to earth person (just saw a post of hers having to clean her long furred cat’s bum, and I have been in that situation – not fun) all I could think was, that ain’t JLo. And when the going gets tough, divas and mean people aren’t going to take any sh$$ – especially a Leo. LOL.
As a Leo, I wholeheartedly agree with this.
Also, there is a big difference between July Leos and August Leos (not bad, just different). So while I liked Bennifer 2.0 when they were dating I knew the marriage wouldn’t work out long term.
July Leo here, not sure what the different is in July vs August Leos so I would love to be educated 🙂
I agree with this. Ben Affleck was in my city for a few weeks filming and he made time to interact with people he could’ve easily avoided; there were a number of stories about how nice he was. I think he’s not great in romantic relationships, but a lot of his problems seem to be of the self-sabotage kind.
He does appear to be the poster boy for self-sabotage. It reminds me of Robert Downey Jr., back in the day. I wish Ben the same sort of recovery.
Same. I live near Boston and while I’ve never met or seen him several friends/coworkers have over the years and always say he’s friendly, happy to engage, nice to hotel and waitstaff plus tips well and really does love his Dunkin.
This is why I’ve always been a little cool on J-Lo despite the fact I admire her confidence, drive and ambition (I also think she’s a role model for looking great after 50 without being plastic/fake)
I just cannot abide people who treat service workers like garbage. It’s a huge turn off for me.
It sounds like she’s a loving mom and she truly loves Ben Affleck though.
I’ll never get it but both she and Garner clearly love(d) him. :/
I’ve heard similar stories about how she is rude to service people, utterly self absorbed, and the worst stereotype of a spoiled “Star,” and I think she’s bought into her own hype. I heard about one incident where she also was quite distant with her kids. So I don’t think this is all on Ben – I am sure they both have enough issues to fill their $60M mansion! Even if these stories about her character weren’t true, sharing Ben’s love letters with others and just doing the bizarre documentary reflects a lack of respect for his wishes and self absorption to the extreme.
I agree with everything you just wrote. I am hard on him sometimes. But deep down I like him. I love that he’s fluent in Spanish. I learned a lot about him watching Project Greenlight. He listens. He tries his best to be an ally. That show totally turned me off Matt Damon (who I previously crushed on) and it made me like Ben a lot more. I root for him. And yes, by all accounts, he tries to do better. Like I said upthread I am glad his kids have Jennifer Gardner. I hate when people say her nice girl stuff is an act. It’s been a few decades and I have yet to see her drop her nice girl act. All the hate she got for taking her kids to pumpkin patch. Meanwhile JLO was terrorizing wait staff.
Please Google Jennifer Garner / Regina King @ Chelsea Handlers Dinner Party.
He’s very smart and witty when he’s clean and sober.
Carrie thank you for educating me. I had not seen that clip and never even knew this happened. Now that’s a valid reason for criticizing someone. Taking your kids to pumpkin patch is not. I know people think she was on pap strolls but I didn’t read it that way at the time. It’s disappointing to see this kind of Karenish behavior for sure.
So now we tear down the woman’s character because the couple split up?? What century is this? I hear she hates kittens & takes candy from babies. Geez Louise.
The rumors about her being mean have been going around way before the rumors of the split. I’ve always liked Jennifer. I thought she was beautiful, talented, and out of Ben’s league, but there’s too much talk about her being awful to ignore.
Agree— can’t we just acknowledge that they weren’t compatible despite loving each other without tearing anyone down? Or blaming a woman’s work? Or essentially calling her a b*tch based on one or two amplified rumors?
JLo has the worst and most persistent reputation on sites like Reddit. Someone also posted several pages from Michele Serros book, which had a story about Serros’s interactions with JLo when they were both working on Living Color. Looks like JLo’s been pretty nasty to people whom she’s deemed unnecessary on her way to the top since her earliest days.
I can understand celebs wanting to create some boundaries as everyone wants to talk to them and get their celeb story; hence, I don’t think it’s a big deal that some celebs, incl JLo, have a don’t-look-or-talk-to-me rule. Also, Ben Affleck sounds way too generous with his tips whilst JLo is way too stingy. Middle ground is best.
However, she apparently goes out of her way to get people fired when they make minor mistakes. Other stories I remember (from Reddit); believe them or not:
– She also refused to pay a makeup artist for a second round and the woman had to sue to get paid
– Excessive demands like having a temporary dressing room repainted
– Excessive demands from service staff and then refusal to tip
Her name consistently comes up when they’re naming the nastiest treatment towards service staff, makeup artists, hairdressers, etc.
Pointing this out isn’t necessarily blaming her for the relationship breakdown; Ben Affleck must be well aware of all this stuff – the fact she thinks she’s at the pinnacle and is entitled to treat the peasants badly – and he probably doesn’t care.
I think it’s the fact she dragged his reputation down with her poor judgment re her recent projects is probably the issue.
“So… yeah, my vibe is that they’re having significant problems but I’m hesitant to say it’s ALL Jennifer or ALL Ben. They’re two massively dysfunctional people”
I agree with that. It doesn’t have to be a villain and a victim scenario, especially with two very dysfunctional person, they must have both of them a part of responsability in what seems to be the end of their marriage
Maybe they both working and need their space to concentrate. They do not have a good track records on relationship. It could be separation but it could work. At this point, I’ll needs a reality show.
*JLO needs a reality show.
I’ve commented on this; I think with her latest derided projects (doc, album, and film), she was trying to do a premium reality thing because she was seeing all these reality stars and A-listers trying to be more relatable.
She can act. She should stick to acting and get therapy for her addiction to fame so she can retain a bit of mystique. She’s already been outed as heavily using ghost singers. If she wants to tour, pick tiny venues; only her diehard fans would spend that much on her concerts.
I’ve said before and say again that these two are too extreme as a couple .Their highs are too high their lows too low.I don’t think they can live life in the middle.
I don’t follow their ups/downs, comings/goings but what I do read makes me think that they’re both exhausting to be around for any period of time.
Carrie Fisher used to tell a story about how she was venting to the director Mike Nichols about yet another breakup in her tumultuous, on-again off-again relationship with Paul Simon, and Nichols (who was close friends with the couple) sagely said, “Two flowers, no gardener.” Meaning that in a relationship, if one person is high-maintenance, the other should (in the words of Chandler from Friends) enjoy maintaining them.
Sounds lopsided but it doesn’t have to be – in my marriage I am definitely the flower and my husband the gardener, but it evens out; he tends to get into a rut and not take chances or make time for fun, so I keep him doing those things. He helps me stay content and grounded and I help him stay more spontaneous and joyful.
Now of course it only works if both partners are committed to the relationship and to one another’s happiness and life goals, which it seems neither Ben nor Jen have been when they’ve been in flower/gardener relationships (like Ben’s to Jennifer Garner, definitely). But two flowers and no gardener is definitely a recipe for disaster, especially in the public eye.
I hadn’t heard this metaphor before, but it totally makes sense!
My take on it is that they do, indeed, love each other.
But this doesn’t surprise me.
She needs to be loved. Full stop.
To the point of having someone on a perpetual back-burner.
And she needs the WORLD to see she is loved.
So, predictably, after months of emailing and making sure Ben was ready to move from back-burner status back to the “he is mine” status — they got back together while A Rod was still packing.
But she needs a certain level of constant adoration that isn’t maintainable full time.
And Ben thought he’d be able to deal with the media now. But still can’t.
Alas, it’s worse now.
Because it isn’t just about him being a celebrity or her being a celebrity:
… it’s the Mega-Celebrity entity of Bennifer that causes the press to go crazy,
That, combined with her neediness (“do this documentary with me,” “you have to be sure to do this and say that” (which you can tell he never wants to be doing) )— that sends them asunder.
I predict they won’t officially be separated until she is seen with someone new.
As a woman, I feel sad about women like J.Lo, who seemed constantly need a man in her life (since adulthood). I can’t recall her ever be really single or stayed single for a long time. She seemed to need verification and not just from fans. It’s not she needs care of, her staff does all that, she needs constant adoration from intimate parter to…what?
Spot on, Maria! Jen Garner said years ago something to the effect of “When he loves you, it’s like the sun shining, but when he’s not he casts a very cold shadow.”
JLo wants to be worshipped, and Ben is too moody. He can’t give her what she needs, and she can’t be the thing that sees his moods through.
Jen Garner was probably a saint for dealing with that as long as she did. And honesty, the best shot at Ben and JLo sticking it out is probably living separately.
You nailed it with that Jen Gardner quote. It’s an important one. Any man, but him especially, you can’t worship him. Once you become so invested that you can’t leave it’s game over. Think about Whitney Houston having to prove everyone wrong. It’s a recipe for disaster or worse.
When she put that stupid vanity project out she put herself in a position where she has to stay – she can’t be wrong. And when you’re in that position it’s when he loses interest. He has to be on his toes at all times.
In anything except parenting (real estate, a relationship, a friendship) you have to be able to walk away if the terms become horrible. She put herself in a position where she can never do that with her greatest love of all time mantra.
Squiddus, what an illuminating quote! I was actually just sitting here scrolling and thinking “it seems like he becomes highly reactive when someone ‘shames’ him, whereas she immediately disposes of anyone who won’t be her ‘yes man’.” Then I saw your quote and started nodding, lol. I personally think his sometimes-destructive novelty-seeking behavior is a result of low dopamine (i.e. ADHD) and, speaking to Garner’s quote, a spouse’s inattentiveness can sure feel like outright neglect. Very depressing all around if so.
Meanwhile JLo needs reassurance and external validation constantly. I have always ‘shipped these two pretty hard, but their boundaries are awful — and I doubt JLo is even aware she has a problem. Yikes.
@SIde Eye – I honestly think JLo put the “greatest love of all time” narrative out there to keep herself from running :/
I don’t get why they need to be married at all. Just get together when times are good and go to neutral corners when times get a little tough.
I agree, it’s so unnecessary and creates such a legal mess. I just feel so badly for the kids who clearly have become close and invested in this family unit. It sucks for them and they have no control over it. Now there are paps at every function for the kids, creating chaos for them and I’m sure it’s mortifying. They are all teens and their peers will know what’s going on. I’m a parent and I don’t feel like adults need to live only for their kids and not follow their own bliss, but you also need to consider your actions and how those actions affect your children. If you are having issues then settle them out of the public eye, not by liking things on instagram or getting papped with or without wedding rings.
So much this.
JLo reminds me of those bridezillas you see on TikTok, who dream about their ideal wedding and ideal house and ideal dress and ideal ring – like they’re the directors of their own personal movie. And then it’s like – oops, real life.
I think Jlo is definitely one of those women that has to have marriage. Like it’s not a legitimate romance for her unless she gets the fairytale wedding. She even legally changed her last name to Affleck.
She would never be happy keeping separate homes and just dating a man. It’s unfortunate because if they’d done that, they’d probably be in a better place right now. She just gets too wrapped up in the “story” of it all.
This, yes, she is a modern day Liz Taylor that way
Joan Crawford set the template for this type of stardom. Everything was about her image and image maintenance for her. Husbands were more an accessory that she’d upgrade her celebrity with.
Yep. She loves love. I am the other spectrum of this in that I no longer have a romantic bone in my body. In fact, my favorite romance movies are Prime, Far from Heaven, movies like that – shows you how I feel about romantic love. I get I am jaded.
I don’t judge single parents who date. I get it. I say this without judgment. I decided when I divorced I would not. I wanted to focus on my kid. He is little for a short time. I wanted to be present and I was selfish about my time with him. I didn’t want it interrupted. I wanted to vacation just us two. I don’t regret it. Different strokes for different folks, but there was no way in hell I was going to bring men in and out of that kid’s life. Like he gets attached and it’s done. I already knew I had the worst picker. So I wasn’t going to chance it. Not too get too personal but I have my reasons, I am paranoid about abuse all forms of it physical to financial – I wasn’t going to drag a kid into my bad picker situation, or have someone come along and take half my condo or take from his inheritance etc. This is the era where men can get alimony from women – I just wasn’t doing it.
Where I do sigh and sigh loudly is women who constantly let their kids get attached to new stepdads live ins and a year later they are done. It creates a lot of drama in kids’ lives. I am going to get bashed for saying this but when you have kids it’s not just about you anymore. The stupid shit I did in my 20s I literally protect my kid from having that in my home. Divorce is already hard, I am not adding to it. He will finish HS in a few years. And guess what I am still going to be cautious about my space. There’s a lot at stake here. If some Didler type takes me out it affects him too.
Yes as you can see my views on men are not the best. Please don’t not all men my post my experience is mine – yours may be different good for you. You’re not changing my mind. I have a kid to protect period. I’m not suggesting those who date don’t care about protecting their kids. I am saying for me it’s not the right decision. And I like my space. You’re not coming in here with your issues to ruin the day have me on eggshells and hog my remote. It’s time for her to grow up and not just focus on her own needs.
@side eye, massive respect for you
Ah thank you Debbye. Since I cut men out of my life it has gotten so much better. I own a property. There’s money in the bank. I have taken my kid all over the world. We have rescued so many dogs. Life went from blah to amazing. I went from walking on egg shells to making omelets. More people should try it lol – it’s awkward at first there are those Karens who think you came to your kid’s soccer game to take their man. No one wants your Nigel lady – literally no one, and there are some people that literally stop inviting you to anything because you aren’t a couple – the only time they call is to try to set you up with some loser. Hard pass. But your real friends stick around.
I was raised by the quintessential pick me chick and it was a parade of men living in our house at one time or another post my parent’s divorce. During my childhood five different men lived with me and my siblings in my house. Some moved in a few weeks into it. As an adult, this infuriates me. Where the eff were your maternal instincts to protect us from these degenerates?
So when I see JLO and those kids have had 2 different father figures in 3 years (I know she wasn’t married to ARod but those families merged) it triggers me. Do better and stop acting like such a damn pick me. You’re JLO FFS. Those kids are lucky she can afford this divorce – this could have wiped her out financially.
I hope they will be able to work out their issues.
I’m afraid I disagree. Just as I disagreed that the couple was just too busy to go to each other’s functions, I don’t believe that JLo told Ben to move out. There’s no way she would choose to show any cracks in the marriage unless Ben initiated it. Her persona is predicated on ‘the Greatest Love Story Never Told.’ I think she’s pissed and ‘liked’ the relationship coach’s tweet because Ben had someone leak ‘this time it’s not Ben’s fault!’ She has always been more invested in ‘their perfect love’ than he has.
I was rooting for them but them falling apart (again) is not at all shocking. I’m surprised they lasted this long honestly. I just hate the kids are in the middle of this.
For all we talk about Ben’s self-destructive tendencies, I think we overlook that Jen has them too. The insistence on the whole album/movie/documentary when EVERYONE told her not to do it? She invited in the same white-hot outside attention that killed their relationship the first time around. It’s like she was so focused on showing the world that she “won” that she lost sight of everything else. This chapter has always looked more like a midlife crisis than a great love story to me. I can’t believe she shared his love letters with everyone. Either she didn’t realize that he’d hate that, or she knew and did it anyway. Both possible explanations spell doom for the relationship.
@RNot, yes, it was a weird repeat of the same behaviors that didn’t work for Ben in the first place. I’ve decided that in both eras of their unions she’s been trying to turn a frog into a prince. I doubt that Ben Affleck cannot rise to the occasion but it looks like he doesn’t WANT to, like he doesn’t want to play the prince role to her princess, and doesn’t believe in fairy tales. JLo wants the fairy tale, her film and her documentary made that abundantly clear.
💯 %
Those two never should have gotten married. Ben isn’t a performative guy in a relationship, he keeps that for his acting career. Jen, on the other hand, has this burning need to prove she’s in the greatest love story ever told, to the point where she has to document it in a movie, an album, a tour, endless interviews. The thing is, you have to check your ego at the door when you get into a serious relationship — you have to look at things through your partner’s eyes as well as your own and I don’t think she’s capable of that. Mr. Jaded was married to a singer, very well known in the California music scene back in the day (we’re talking the seventies). She was talented, beautiful, charismatic and very performative. She was also clingy, needy and demanded constant validation. You’d think she’d get all that on stage but she kind of was never off stage, even in her marriage. Needless to say the relationship was troubled from the start but he stayed in it to raise their child who was the glue that held the marriage together. When she left the nest things went rapidly downhill and she left him because he wasn’t able to deal with the constant drama. Even though her singing career had tanked for the most part, she still had that addiction to being this Norma Desmond-type character. I guess what I’m trying to say is I think Bennifer are like that, and that he’s tired of her capitalizing on their relationship to get the constant validation and attention she craves.
Amen to that @Jaded. The constant need for validation of every kind can be an emotional drain, and absolutely exhausting. It is quite sad to see two grown people who are still entrenched in their unresolved psychological baggage, and have dragged many young children into it as well.
Have seen commenters likening JLo during this 2.0 period to Norma Desmond.
Lainey covered their real estate drama, they spent the first year or so of marriage looking at $60++million dollar homes. I assume they lived together during that time? They finally pulled the trigger on a place, and it just gave me bad vibes that they spent so much money and so long looking.
Like when Kelly Cucuo (? Big Bang Theory) and her horse husband spent their first year of marriage living separately while their house was built/remodeled and then as soon as they moved in together they were done.
I had a much older family member who spent the first ten years of her second marriage house hunting. She didn’t move in with her husband until they found the perfect place. She was not a pleasant person and they spent the next 20 years of marriage threatening divorce to each other. Anyway, all this came to mind. I wish them well.
Just gonna throw something out there Jennifer dated Puff Daddy/P Diddy and he (supposedly) named her J-Lo and rebranded her. Given what we know/are learning and suspect about him – she probably didn’t come out of that relationship unscathed…. I don’t know if that’s something to factor in
Good point @sylindria — also there’s the whole “tainted by association” thing too. Her relationship with him, even though it was over long ago, is now back in the spotlight with his irrefutably heinous behaviour. I’m sure people are thinking “what in the name of God did she SEE in him??”
They’re both exhausting. One of my step-grandparents used to say “it would be a shame to ruin two houses” so they may as well stay together.
Just here to say that we should stop automatically dismissing In Touch, because they have a track record of breaking some big stories. Like this one and was it Josh Duggar or John Edwards? One of those creeps. Stories that other outlets don’t want to touch until someone else breaks it.
The National Enquirer broke the John Edwards, Rielle Hunter lovechild story. InTouch broke the Josh Duggar story.
I don’t know what is going with those two but I always hesitate when I hear the woman being attacked in how they deal with staff. I haven’t examined anything on TikTok but unless there is video of Jlo being awful toward staff, I find this is awfully similar to how Meghan got railroaded for being difficult in the UK. And once’s that seed has been planted, everything gets interpreted in the negative way.
Maybe Jlo isn’t great, but it is a similar refrain that gets applied toward all women who are coded as ambitious.
I remember the stories about her behavior back when she was a Fly Girl dancer. A Latina essayist wrote a book and included a story about how Jennifer completely mean girled her. There’s enough out there that at least some of it has to be true.
On the other hand I’ve always like JLo and I’ve especially liked her with Ben. So it would be sad if they are ending it.
I am thinking though that Ben needs to focus on his movie right now. It makes sense that he might not want to deal with extra drama while filming. Not all marriages are alike and sometimes taking a little time apart can be healthy.
I want to see what’s going on after he finishes his shoot. Things could change for the better then.
Yep, on Reddit someone posted scanned pages from Michele Serros’s book. She was a mean girl back then, at least towards Serros.
@Nic919: That was my thinking, too, when I read those comments above.
This is nothing like Meghan’s situation. JLo has had a terrible reputation from before she and Ben got together 20 years ago. Ask any service worker that waited on JLo in NYC, especially. S e had a bad reputation on “In Living Color” “Hustlers” . At the Met gala where JLO was a Chair member. There is a video of a press agent asking Jlo who her dress was by. JLo looked this woman up and down, turned her head away, and mumbled her answer. Video of many other celebrities that same night and event being asked that same question by the same woman, and everyone else gave eye contact and answered the question.
You’re just hearing about JLO more now because every now and then, there is talk about celebrities being awful, and Jlo’s name always comes up because she treats people like crap. Meghan, on the other hand, has a good reputation with anyone who works with her or has any interaction with her no matter how “unimportant “ the person is.
The only problem here is that a lot of people are putting the blame on Jlo when this is who she is and has been and they were fine with that months ago. This is the MO of a lot of people. When one of Ben’s relationships ends , the women get the blame, and Ben gets made into the victim.
100% @Erica
Stories about her treating service people like garbage have been around forever.
There’s no way Ben didn’t know this before he married her so that can’t be a factor in their breakup.
I seriously doubt only one of them is to blame for their problems.
He’s a passive aggressive self sabotager trying to maintain his sobriety.
She’s needy and controlling.
They’re both over 50 and almost certainly set in their ways and used to being catered to.
We will see how committed they are to making it work but at the moment at least it doesn’t look good.
My colleague waited on JLo as her ‘dresser’ at a Madewell clothing store in DC and JLo treated her like dirt. Today my colleague is a talented marketing VP. I believe my colleague.
I believe that Ben married each time because he was in relationships that spiraled out of his control. The first Jen was pregnant. The marriage to Jen #2 was a result of the force of her ” perfect love story ” PR machine which just seemed to bulldoze him into a wedding. In all the photos he looked like a prop in JLo ‘s reality show, man who had a “deer in the headlights” look about him. No wonder that now that reality has hit he is wondering ” how did I get here” and starting to question her motives. I believe that if he left it was his choice.
@Looney Tunes, you are exactly right. This is the Gigli tragedy all over again. She was warned not to do it, but, as you said, “she couldn’t help trying to rub people’s nose in it.”
This is their problem. They are diametrically opposed.. She has an unfettered need for validation and attention, and he prefers being low key and low effort in his love life. This is why ARod was the perfect match for her – perhaps he is now the one writing love letters to win her back.
It’s also hard to work out your issues in the public sphere. These mags etc. saying the marriage is over doesn’t help. I wish them the best. I would wish that for any couple in their alleged position.
A beautiful rich woman who can’t stop getting in her own way, and with lots of marriages/divorces to prove it… if this isn’t an Edith Wharton novel I don’t know what its!
I can’t decide if I aspire to live a life dramatic enough to have many marriages or just a few
marriages are much easier to get into than get out of. don’t do it!
Maybe she finally got sick of the tattoo up close. She did shade it in an interview once and now she has to stare at it routinely.
Yes! It’s so ugly, what a dumb thing for him to do to himself. I’m sad for J-lo what could have happened to cause the breakup? He is always ruining her happiness. Now he is toying with the media. One day ring off, the next the ring is back on.
I think in this instance J-Lo is just as much to blame. This has been such a performative relationship right from the beginning. Even though Ben is thirsty at times, there is no one that compares to J-Lo. Nothing ever felt organic in the presentation. All pap set-ups everywhere from the beginning. He, for once, was trying to be supportive and lean more in to make J-Lo happy, like her movie musical/documentary. There is no way he wanted that to happen, as she even said. But he tried to help her and support her through her cringeworthy, nonstop focus on some magical fairytale.
She had A-Rod who was her partner everywhere with her and they focused on being a brand separately and together. That’s what she wants. Ben will never be that, and since it’s now clear J-Lo, the minute she got with him, was planning this huge movie musical on love and him and she is working nonstop, she didn’t read the room. Both probably not even together all that much this year, and now she is going on tour. Ben tried to go in more for her, but as we all know, it was never going to last as far as effort, because he is the opposite. I think he could tell it was never going to be enough for J-Lo, because that is how she lives her life, and typical Ben, he shut down.
The guy started up a major production company/studio, with a $100 million in investors. To say he has a lot on his plate is an understatement as he’s the CEO and he’s making movies also And he has children that he is actually co-parenting strongly with Jen G. It may not be fair to J-Lo, but I think he just couldn’t take it anymore.
J-Lo puts on that perfect romance face, but we’ve already seen several instances of her snapping at him when we saw behind the curtain. Behind the scenes I think they began to butt heads a lot.
There is a lot of love there, but for Ben to actually move out of that huge compound and rent another home, instead of staying in the massive guest house, tells me it was the first step in him making the break. J-Lo is going on tour. She probably wanted him on tour with her for much of it.
There would be no reason to move out if they were going to work on the marriage since the estate is huge. Nobody had to be the wiser. J-Lo is the type who would go on presenting as a happy couple because the public persona of Bennifer is hugely important to her. So J-Lo didn’t kick him out. He left.
Bennifer 2.0 is over. Two people who reunited and had unfinished business who loved each other, the fire reignited, but for longevity are so ill-matched. The reality set in for Ben. I don’t think he wants to go to counseling.
I think that Ben was the one ( in her mind) that got away. She admitted that Ben broke her heart back then. She has made public statements that she was going to enjoy family more & cut back on her work, so I think Ben believed that she was going to chill out a bit ( and she did but only because of Covid). I think JL I feel JL has zero respect for Ben. To overshare those love letters to her entourage had to really hit Ben hard & then to have stories put out there that JG knew Ben was still pining for her during their marriage had to really affect both of their children & it made Ben look horrible! I believe Ben was the one who left their home.
The fact that Ben could have stayed in that 5,000 Sq ft. guesthouse on their 60 billion house instead of renting that $100,000.00/ mo. rental speaks volumes on how fragile their marriage is right now! If they do reconcile, it will only be a matter of time before they start arguing again! I think they both are in love with ” the idea of each other” It has been 20 years & they are not the same people.
I don’t think living separately is a bad thing. I do think not having an interior life of your own, whether you are dating, married or single is a recipe for not being happy. You have to make yourself happy. You can’t suck the soul out of another person and expect them to make you happy: you have to make yourself happy. I’m not saying JLo did that, I’m thinking of my brother’s first wife.
I wish the best for them. I’m most truly shocked that she shared his love letters. I am also shocked that the wife of a recovering addict/alcoholic would come up with mocktails. Yeah, I think living separately is a very healthy choice, no matter who made it, and it seems that Ben is very serious for himself and his children and his life that he maintain his sobriety. I could see him making choices to stay sober. And for that, he has my major support. I just think he wanted more of a private life. And if it looks like I am blaming the woman, no, I’m not. Without being privy to their life, I think I may be a little mad at JLo, though, because I wanted this for them. I wanted them to work. I just think Ben may be a fragile person, and one would have to accept that. I remember the report that Ben was openly crying in a restaurant.
What do I know. I am shocked about all this. I wanted them to work. Hope they work it out.
As Carolnr said Ben could have stayed in their 5,000 Sq ft. guest house if they wanted to live separately, but instead moved off the property completely. They would have had their space and kept the media out of their business. If Ben is staying in Brentwood which is about 5 hours away from his and JLo LA home that says a lot.
You can’t be mad at a stranger because your fantasy of their life didn’t work out the way you wanted. Also for all we know Ben could have cheated again so she kicked him out, so people shouldn’t jump and put most of the blame solely on her.
I think you are thinking of the other Brentwood, CA town. This Brentwood is only about 6 miles from the mansion. I noticed jlo had lost weight when she got to New York for her new film. I joked it was the divorce diet because a pap shot showed them both carrying briefcases to somewhere looking GRIM. But I was kidding. I had no idea just thought it was weird she didn’t go back to LA at all for seven weeks even though her kids were still there in school. and Ben with his ring on ring off shenanigans is giving me deja vu his first divorce that played out in tabloids for years. Please no! I’ll admit I was surprised they got married. I thought Ben had enough self awareness to know he is not in a place (ever imo) to be a good husband. But given they had a cancelled wedding in their past I suppose it was inevitable they try for it and jlo we know had to have it. But them splitting doesn’t surprise me in the least just the timing. I thought for sure they would wait until the greatest love story tour was over. Now it will be awkward to say the least
He talked about his divorce from Jen G as his biggest regret and feeling very shameful. Don’t know if that’s just PR because Jen G came out of that as a saint apparently, but I do think the shame part was honest. Why doesn’t he just do the Leo thing and date people but in a low-key way and without getting married? Why the need to be a power couple? No one cares and Leo still has a “serious” career as an actor.
He wants a strong woman to guide his life until he doesn’t because they are too “controlling”. he wants to do whatever he wants to do.
She got together with him 15 minutes after breaking off her engagement to Arid, posts a morning after her wedding pic, puts out private love letters, makes a documentary about their love story, the list of her foolishness is endless. She is a narcissist and can’t help her self sabotage. Unfortunately, she will not be getting any therapy because narcs think everyone else is wrong, they are always right. She’ll be on to the next fiancé/husband in 20 minutes. Joker!