David Harbour and Lily Allen have been together since 2019. They met via the exclusive dating app Raya while David was filming Black Widow in London and got married in September 2020 in Las Vegas. Last winter, they did an Open Door video for Architectural Digest focusing on their Brooklyn townhouse. It revealed that their bathroom is carpeted with a sitting area and fireplace. While I personally think that’s a bit extra for a bathroom, it made sense to me because they just seem like they’re “carpets in the bathroom” type of people.
Anyway, Lily just did an interview with The Sunday Times with her friend and Miss Me? podcast co-host Miquita Oliver. During the interview, Lily revealed that having a carpeted bathroom isn’t the only unconventional thing that she and David do. They also have a unique way of keeping one another honest when it comes to limiting the amount of time spent on their phones: a parental control app that allows them to control what apps they can download onto their phones.
“I now have a kids’ phone called Pinwheel. It has no browsing capability and no social media, but you can still have Uber and Spotify,” Allen explained. “My husband is the caregiver on it, so he controls what I’m allowed to have as an app on my phone. I’m the controller of his as well.”
The Miss Me? podcast host joked that they are acting like each other’s parents: “‘What’s your child’s name? David, aged 50.’ ”
Allen — who has two daughters, Ethel, 12, and Marnie, 11, with ex-husband Sam Cooper — also shared in her interview with The Sunday Times that she took her children’s smartphones away after reading that they shouldn’t have access to them yet.
“The Fear” singer called smartphones “evil,” and said they’ve ruined the “creative side” of her brain.
“I feel like everyone feels the same. I don’t know anyone who could possibly say that the quality of their life is improved by the presence of a smartphone. I think it’s destroyed us as a species. It’s horrendous that they’re designed to be so addictive. Some of us have more addictive personalities than others,” Allen added.
Speaking about married life and co-parenting with her husband, Allen told the outlet that she recently started to ask her loved ones “for help” after going on a one-on-one “trauma weekend” retreat in upstate New York.
“What came out of it was this complete inability to be vulnerable,” she said. “So I’ve been exercising my right to ask for help, and it’s completely changed my life. Just dumb things, like getting up in the morning, being tired, rolling over and saying to David, ‘Can you do breakfast and the school run this morning?’ And him saying, ‘Yes, course I can!’ And I’m like, ‘What?'”
I honestly can’t decide how I feel about this. On one hand, it’s kinda cute that they trust each other enough to relinquish control of their phones for what they think is a greater good. My mom’s weakness is chocolate, so whenever she buys a chocolate bar, she eats a piece and then has my dad hide it from her so she won’t eat it all in one sitting. It sorta has that kind of energy.
On the other hand, I also find it a bit overkill to have another adult approve of what you want to put onto your phone. I totally understand her point about addictive personalities and the dangers of too much screen time, but I don’t know if I’d go as far as say that smartphones have “destroyed us as a species.” I think just like with most technological advances, there are both benefits (like FaceTime) and downsides (like less in-person interaction). If Lily needs to be held accountable to not waste hours on TikTok or get sucked down some other rabbit hole of self-destruction, then I guess she’s doing what needs to be done.
Photos credit: Michael Simon/startraksphoto.com, PA Images/INSTARimages, celebrityphotos uk / Avalon and via Instagram
Her statement may be a little dramatic but there are many downsides to what smart phones enable us to do that isn’t healthy. I placed an order for (non-urgent) cat food in bed at 11.16pm last night when my goal is to be offline from 8pm and in bed and reading by 10pm. Today I’m tired and grouchy. Never mind how many times a day I find myself reaching for my phone when I don”t ‘need’ to.
I think it’s cute that they are trying to help each other not be a cell phone addict. Probably it won’t work in the long run because we all love our cell phones. We all love to drive our cars, and we are not going to drive less because someone else is trying to shame us into decreasing our time behind the wheel to save the planet. By the way, David Harbour is one sexy dude. He is older now but he a hunk of a man.
Cars serve a need for us, but they’re not designed to tap into our brain wiring and addict us the way smartphones are. I’ve never turned on my car at 2am because I just can’t help it.
Ughhhh agreed, David is a sexy piece! I love a not pretty man
I actually think it’s fine because its mutual. If it was just David monitoring Lily’s phone usage and apps, or vice versa, it would be a huge red flag.
If this works for them, then good.
Personally I would never surrender control of my life to anyone. I have separate bank accounts, with one joint we both contribute to. My life & choices are mine only.
Others may find that odd, but it works in my marriage. I’d have to leave if something changed & he suddenly started monitoring me. Hard line is financial autonomy for me.
Sounds like their hardline is social media/cells. Good they are both on the same page.
Ok but I read somewhere she was on the Raya dating app again, within the last year. I’m wondering if there’s a little more to this story.
These two give me weird vibes as a couple. I found that AD video almost unbearable to watch, despite previously rooting for them. I don’t even know why! Just strange pings going off on my radar.
I thought they were separated or one of them filed for a divorce. Did I get that wrong?
I read that also, Myriam.
I didn’t even know who he was until I watched that AD episode, and I have to admit I found him oddly attractive. He’s intelligent and articulate, and he has a dry sense of humor. He could do without the beard, though.
I don’t judge this. I have things like certain snacks I cannot stop eating that I have begged my husband to keep away from me except in Servíng sizes. I can’t stop w some chips. It’s not healthy.
Leaving these two aside, I really like the “digital minimalism” movement. The ScreenZen app is so useful for curbing my appetite for the apps I can’t completely leave behind. I use it in conjunction with the Blank Spaces iOS app, which is very stylish. 🙂