Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are probably close to being completely done. What a waste, all of it. Ben really wrote love letters to Jennifer when she was engaged to Alex Rodriguez, then she quickly extracted herself from that engagement and went all-in with Ben soon after. I think they were happy for a year or so, but reality came crashing down on them at some point in the past year. I hesitate to say it was ALL about J.Lo’s This Is Me… Now projects, but I’m sure the album, music film and documentary did not help at all. It wasn’t all about the Beverly Hills mansion either, but that didn’t help. Now Page Six is saying that Bennifer is definitely OVER.
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck have tried their best to put on a united front — but the couple’s marriage has allegedly been over for months, we hear. According to sources, they’ve been apart since March, but Affleck is “very protective of Jennifer.”
Rumors of the couple’s split hit a fever pitch in May after Affleck was noticeably absent from J.Lo’s side at major red carpet events — like the Met Gala, which she co-chaired this year. He also didn’t accompany her to the premiere of her new Netflix project, “Atlas.”
Lopez then added fuel to the rumor mill when she liked an Instagram post about unhealthy relationships. “You can’t build a relationship with someone who is disconnected from themselves,” said the post.
The premiere for This Is Me… Now: A Love Story happened in February of this year. I said at the time that the vibe was off and that Ben seemed to be phoning it in/detatching. It would not surprise me at all if that was basically when the beginning of the end. Meanwhile, Ben and Jen are obviously unloading the Beverly Hills mansion, but Page Six also says that they’re unloading some artwork too. Yeah… that says divorce to me. Selling real estate AND artwork, while living separately and barely seeing each other? We’ll probably get a divorce announcement this week or next.
Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Avalon Red.
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- HOLLYWOOD, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, USA – FEBRUARY 13: Ben Affleck and wife Jennifer Lopez (JLo) wearing a Zuhair Murad Couture gown with Joseph Saidian and Sons vintage Van Cleef & Arpels diamond earrings and A.Jaffe diamond rings arrive at the Los Angeles Premiere Of Amazon MGM Studios’ ‘This Is Me…Now: A Love Story’ held at the Dolby Theatre on February 13, 2024 in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 846503912, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, JLo, Credit line: Xavier Collin / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- HOLLYWOOD, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, USA – FEBRUARY 13: Ben Affleck and wife Jennifer Lopez (JLo) wearing a Zuhair Murad Couture gown with Joseph Saidian and Sons vintage Van Cleef & Arpels diamond earrings and A.Jaffe diamond rings arrive at the Los Angeles Premiere Of Amazon MGM Studios’ ‘This Is Me…Now: A Love Story’ held at the Dolby Theatre on February 13, 2024 in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 846504026, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, JLo, Credit line: Xavier Collin / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- HOLLYWOOD, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, USA – FEBRUARY 13: Jennifer Lopez (JLo) wearing a Zuhair Murad Couture gown with Joseph Saidian and Sons vintage Van Cleef and Arpels diamond earrings and A.Jaffe diamond rings arrives at the Los Angeles Premiere Of Amazon MGM Studios’ ‘This Is Me…Now: A Love Story’ held at the Dolby Theatre on February 13, 2024 in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 846505624, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Jennifer Lopez, JLo, Credit line: Xavier Collin / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- Celebrities at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘This Is Me… Now: A Love Story’ Featuring: Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 13 Feb 2024 Credit: Ryan Hartford/INSTARimages.com
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- Celebrities at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘This Is Me… Now: A Love Story’ Featuring: Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 13 Feb 2024 Credit: Ryan Hartford/INSTARimages.com
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- Celebrities at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘This Is Me… Now: A Love Story’ Featuring: Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 13 Feb 2024 Credit: Ryan Hartford/INSTARimages.com
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- Celebrities at the Los Angeles premiere of ‘This Is Me… Now: A Love Story’ Featuring: Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 13 Feb 2024 Credit: Ryan Hartford/INSTARimages.com
Drop it on a long holiday weekend when most people (it’s me, I’m most people) are more interested in their vacations, pool parties, and chilling. My money is on Wednesday evening or Friday AM.
On independence day? lol
Probably
Independence Day would be *perfect* for it.
I hope she does it then.
he seems detached and self involved. i know this whole thing was a bad idea from the jump, but I feel for Jen. it’s true, you can’t build a relationship with someone who is detached from themself.
I didn’t even put 2+2 together. That would be amazing.
I predict late Friday. It’ll be a holiday weekend and they might be able to avoid tabloid deadlines for a few days.
I dunno. Seems like tabloid deadlines are moot. Nobody gets their gossip from magazines anymore. Holidays still do take some of the heat off of news still though.
At this point, i’m waiting to see if theyre going to take off those rings right after the announcement, what the announcement will say (we’ll always have love for each other, bla bla ya ya) and what’s in the prenup.
I was saying since the very beginning putting that relationship under the spotlight like this for a 2nd time when it played a part in breaking them apart the first time was a big mistake.
Not even 2 years of marriage. They really crashed and burned fast.
There is chemistry and attraction but they are pretty much deeply incompatible on everything else.
Right, It was so alarming to watch her make the same mistakes, but on an even grander scale like whyyyyyyy.
Not to put it all on J Lo—I’m sure Ben brings a ton of baggage and bad habits to the relationship as well–but they seem like completely different people at completely different places in life. It seems like J Lo is still very career-focused and still wants the fame and adulation whereas Ben is looking to live a more low-key, quiet life away from the spotlight. Now whether that’s a product of several career failures (ugh Batman) or a more conscious choice on his part I do not know. But these two really did not seem like they were on the same page and it makes me sad because I really enjoyed the resurgence of their relationship.
Counterpoint to it all being her mistakes: if we assume Ben is disconnected from himself (based on that IG like), it’s possible that he enthusiastically greenlighted all of their marital decisions like buying a house and supported her career moves while feeling and ignoring internal resistance to them. This leads to him getting angry (bc he didn’t honor his own boundaries), disconnecting, acting from a childish place rather than a loving adult partner. Cue marital breakdown. All conjecture of course, but I think more realistic of how bad patterns happen in relationships when one or both partners aren’t aware of their internal needs and can’t lovingly hold boundaries.
Except her sources said “he never liked the house” and about the project she said herself he was “a silent reluctant participant” and was “uncomfortable but couldn’t stop her”
So he did voiced all of that she just didn’t care. And if she discarded his boundaries on a daily basis like it looked she did I did think it created ressentment and with times he just shut down and checked out.
THIS!!! They are deeply incompatible. He isn’t enough for her and she’s too much for him. Lord people, just date and have fun, everything doesn’t have to end with a wedding ring.
You are so right about your sentiment!
Which is what I would do and how I would choose to live.
But her narcissism includes her constant chase of envy.
She is literally desperate for mass audiences to be envious of her.
She literally lives for preening and peacocking so women will wish to be her, and men will wish to be with her.
He realized that she isn’t really able to love him. She just wants his Oscar winning producing cachet.
His Hollywood power, and especially his complete and constant adoration for her.
So the paps will film it and ppl will see that she is the queen of everything!
But like all Narcs, she finally pushed it all too far and now like musical chairs, sho caught holding her bag of desperate superficiality.
Sad trombone for Jenny from the block/Bronx/an orange drink/iykyn etc/etc
I am turning 50 this year, so GenX, like both of them. I am finding I am really sad for them, that they couldn’t even eek out a couple of years of explosive sex before it fell apart. Every single one of us has a past partner we look back on and think that it was really awful that the relationship didn’t work out. I would hope there would be more great sex than what looks like the bare minimum here.
They maybe spent more time looking at houses than having orgasms. That’s sad, no matter who we are talking about.
Perfect! No Jennifer can focus on her life, such as making music and going on tours. Ben is now free to drink and gamble. It seems to me like both parties are getting what they want.
🤣🤣🤣🤣making music and touring? Um….she just released a new album and was going to tour and apparently nobody wants either.
Actively rooting for an addict to relapse isn’t the best look TBH but it’s such a common attitude towards Affleck that I doubt anyone here will even notice.
I was being sarcastic Kitten. I am not rooting for an addict to go and be in active addiction. I hope that both Jen and Ben find happiness.
Oh sorry, Lolo. I just get really defensive when it comes to addiction.
When you lose someone to addiction, jokes about addiction/addicts just aren’t funny. Or sarcastic.
Why exactly is it his fault that she GREATLY overestimated interest in her love life and a movie, tour, and music around it? She’s an adult, and a professional, I’m sure she owns it and your comment about him is very sad and doesn’t say much about you as a person. A man isn’t always to blame when a woman messes up. We make mistakes and it’s okay if we do.
Perfectly said. That comment hurt my soul. He’s flawed like the rest of us, but we all have eyes and have seen them both behave.
I definitely know who I’m rooting for in this celebrity spectacle 👀
To be fair, I’ve only seen the clips of her documentary that circulated on TikTok, but SO MANY PEOPLE told her the movie/doc/album was a bad idea, she’d regret it, etc. Jane Fonda was like, “Girl, please stop.” She refused to listen to anyone, so it seems like even if he did state his concerns, she would have bulldozed him anyway.
As the parent of a recovering addict (and having worked in the addiction/recovery space for 7+ years), that remark about Ben being “free to drink and gamble” is insulting. His “detachment” might be his way of withdrawing when things become too much/overstimulating for him – and those same things can be triggers to use. Very often, people with addiction issues have co-diagnoses (I.e., alcoholism & self-harm, shopping, gambling, $ex, etc.). I can say that I have seen a great many people that become withdrawn from situations (see: JLo’s ‘like’ of an Instagram post regarding you can’t be in a relationship with someone who is detached from said relationship). Perhaps she is not educated in how to best live with a person that has addiction issues. This is what Al-Anon is for. NOT placing all the blame on her by a long shot. I’m sure he didn’t communicate his needs/coping mechanisms, and she isn’t a mind-reader.
I was being sarcastic. When Ben and Jen are divorced and she no longer gets the blame for his choices whichever they be, then people will realize that Ben does what Ben wants to do and that includes being an addict. Both his wives tried to help him but he needs to help himself first.
Being an addict isn’t a choice, so no, “ben does what he wants to do and that includes being an addict” is so very incorrect. Seriously. Do you think ANYONE would choose to be an addict? Shut up. Stop explaining your “sarcasm” it’s not funny, it’s not sarcasm, it’s gross & cruel.
@LOLO86LF I really don’t want her to focus on making music!🥴 I’ll be honest, she’s cute but I’m not a fan and this isn’t a Ben vs Jen thing. I thought this before she got with Ben decades ago. She is too much too often, she insists on living and parading her mad love practices, and possibly worst of all she is NOT a good singer! I think that last part-her grift on all creation- that she’s some accomplished singer is what sends me over the edge. She’s a great dancer, actress, and hustler but a talented singer she is not. 🫤
All of this is exacerbated by the fact she always feels the need to be EVERYWHERE, doing EVERYTHING! I didn’t want them to reunite because I knew we’d be inundated with her love and I was sure it wasn’t going to last what with her track record and personally, I find her utterly EXHAUSTING. 😓I feel similarly about Taylor Swift but at least she stays in her lane and has legit talent of her own instead of capitalizing and pawning off the talents of black women as her own.😑
You get a standing ovation, 100%!!!!
He’s always been a dysfunctional manchild and she’s addicted to what she thinks “being in love” is. Not surprised one bit.
No matter how I expostulated about the letters, I genuinely wanted them to make it. Imma wait for an announcement, but I am genuinely sorry, as I wished them well. I didn’t know it was Jen that left Alex, I thought he cheated and that ended it. Ah well, I just watched Stillwater again. Life is brutal.
I always believed jen wouldn’t even have left Alex except she had Ben as a jump off. after all she stayed with casper through the same thing. As for Ben he likes women that are already engaged, married or even have a baby at home. I guess he sees it as more of a challenge? It’s ick.
I disagree, I think she was planning already to leave ARod over his public cheating
Alex Rodriquez was cheating on her and got caught. If she had stayed with him, he would have continued to cheat on her because that’s who he is, a cheat. He has cheated on EVERY woman he’s been with. She left him because it was time. Her only mistake and it’s always her mistake is not taking the time to be with herself instead of jumping into the next relationship. Especially , rehashing a relationship with someone when BOTH parties know they are incompatible.
I totally get it. I think for me it involved a lot of wishful thinking and nostalgia – just seems like such a simpler time back then before Trump and mass shootings and Covid. I really enjoyed the walk down memory lane (btw the mint green Valentino Oscar dress she wore the year she attended with Ben is one of my top 5 favorite Oscar looks of all time and she was/is so stunning).
I think the first signs things were gonna crash were the first informal Valentino ad campaign in Italy slash relationship rollout and the honeymoon. Usually I am all about the kids but the honeymoon needs to be just you two – no paps, no entourage, no kids! To this day, we have no idea where Harry and Meghan went on their honeymoon (see also Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise on this subject – that was a bad sign!) That’s the time you are invisible. If you’re famous everyone is wondering where you went.
I can see how they got all swept up in the one that got away narrative. Think back to the first person you ever loved – it was so blissful – you just had no clue it would crash and burn (if it didn’t work out) you just went all in completely clueless and I think they wanted to recreate that. Only they have both been married, they have children now there are others in the picture to consider. I wish they had slowed down a bit but here we are.
I think they will both be fine if they take the time to be alone and figure out their relationship patterns and what they need to change about them.
Yeah simpler times…..after 9/11, a Bush in the White House, on the brink of two wars, and the beltway sniper was on the loose.
True Maggie. Maybe I should have stated no one was glued to their phone 24/7. People called instead of texted. Some people actually still put Christmas cards and real letters in the mail. You could go to lunch with a friend and actually talk instead of watching them take 200 pics of their food to post or text to others. Mass shootings were a shocking and tragic thing – not something you heard about 3-4 times a week. We had no MAGA. No Q-Anon. No Marjorie Taylor Green and unhinged lunatics running amuck all over Congress. There was some decorum. A president walking out during closing arguments at his criminal trial was unheard of.
And I seem to recall back then intelligence or excellence was aspired to as opposed to having nationwide worship for stupidity and mediocrity. No president had ever committed mass treason and insurrection. That sort of stuff…
So yeah a simpler time. Not without its own challenges but a world where I still enjoyed going outside. Maybe it’s just me…
When you are lifting your face up to kiss your husband and he is not making eye contact with you, and is looking at something else, yeah, the writing is on the wall, check out couple of the pics above.
I think JLo is in love with the idea of being in love and loved, sadly her picker seems broken.
In those pictures he looks very detached and like he is looking for someone more interesting. Ouch!
Any spouse that creates a line of alcohol while their partner is a well known alcoholic should be divorced. The fact that the first thing she did was take pictures of herself sipping champagne on a boat in Italy cements how little she cares about supporting his sobriety
100%. Have a friend who just came out of rehab for alcohol after a month’s stay, his wife’s only reaction “I won’t stop drinking around him, I’m not the alcoholic”, left the rest of us shocked. The rest of us stopped drinking around him, but not his wife, sad situation.
Because it does not matter. He has to make a choice every single day. Or live in a box. My dead father, died from liver failure, was a professor, mom never drank and he drank himself to death. You have to choose to be sober every day.
As for Jen’s drink, it took time to develop a product. So… unless he said he was against it before they got married, and she still went along with it, it’s on him. He is not a toddler. Garner treated him with kid gloves and where it got them? To the nanny?
Especially when the focus should be on the high school graduation of Ben’s daughter, not on Jen. I feel so bad for their kids
I actually just completed a voluntary stay in rehab for alcohol too. My spouse and other close family who know what’s going on said they will refrain from drinking in front of me at least in this phase of early sobriety. I don’t want them to change their lifestyle (like they can enjoy one glass of wine with dinner and go about the rest of their day like normal) because I can’t drink responsibly but it’s helpful that they are doing this right now. Previous commenter is right – I do have to be the one to wake up every day and choose to not drink but I appreciate the support in this moment. I don’t know where Ben is in his sobriety journey though.
@sandra
Wishing you all the strength. You have to choose you. I am glad you have support, but it is up to you and I am sure you can do it.
I know this is off topic, but as much as addiction is not a choice, it is important to be responsible for yourself cos that’s how you break free, gain confidence.
All the best♥️
@Sandra
Brava, brava, brava to you for your courage and thinking enough of yourself to take the steps to have a good life. Wishing you the best.
She started that alcohol line before she got back with Ben. She was already invested – what do you want her to do? Lose a ton of money giving up a business that was probably years of work? Not to mention risking being sued for breaking contracts etc. Ben is responsible for his own sobriety and I am sure she supports that.
His sobriety is his responsibility alone. It was a business venture of hers and we don’t even know if she had any of that in the house. And he didn’t join her on her vacation. This kind of comment is definitely misogynist. He is not a child and she is not his nanny. He’s responsible for his alcoholism alone.
Isn’t she a non-drinker?
This is sad. I was saying the announcement will be made at the end of summer but now I think it will be over this weekend just to put an end to speculation that will be inevitable when they aren’t seen together over the holiday.
For jlo love is a 60Million dollars mansion and 3 part project gushing about that love putting the relationship under even more scrutiny without care her partner is uncomfortable. She’s a very driven woman, good for her, but also a workaholic who doesn’t slow down for anyone. Relationships are about compromises and meeting each other in the middle not just getting your own needs meet.
IMO I think we see going to be waiting longer to hear definitively. I think they want to do it brady style. Lots of speculation from the press but no announcement until an actual divorce has gone through or at least everything is decided and tied up. i don’t think it will take three years like both their previous divorces because it was short and no kids. I’m one of those negative nancy’s who didn’t think they would last more than a couple of years because everything seemed too over the top not to burn out. But I believed they would never split during her love fest album, movie and tour. How could they? how embarrassing especially to jlo. So she was going to sing those songs on tour? So I have been surprised.
Same. I didn’t expect this to last more than 1.5-2 years. I’m not disappointed because I was never invested lol. They have always seemed incompatible.
Maybe the sexual chemistry is off the charts but that’s not a reason to get married (speaking from experience)!
@Lens
Since they weren’t married long, ( why do I think his separation date may differ from hers?), couldn’t they just get an annulment? After all, they do not have any children together…
You are correct, Vegas is 6 weeks for annulment or divorce. If they’re smart, they’d go that route. California law is 6 months before finalized – this is mandatory.
Do you think they’ll make an announcement? It’s standard operating procedure but not mandatory. I’m pretty sure JLo is heart broken (probably both of them) but I think she is also embarrassed. A mere few months after this whole big project about their love to have to announce a divorce? Sometimes I feel bad for celebrities. I’m sure they’d rather keep this amongst the family.
I also wonder if Ben relapsed. The meeting of both J’s at Garner’s home sounds like an intervention. Added to a headline I saw (I think on Twitter, not here) that Garner wouldn’t invite Ben to her wedding bc she’d have invite JLo and it would be weird.
There’s been zero suggestion Ben’s relapsed. That’s a dreadful thing to say. Ben’s still driving his kids around which would never happen if he relapsed. Exes who aren’t toxic tend to visit for reasons. No wonder people with addiction don’t like talking about it. Because of ill informed comments like this.
Agree with you about Ben’s sobriety.
The only moments both Jen were at his house or Jen’s house were when there were parties for the kids’s graduation
I’m not taking the word of Page 6 as the truth. It’s just regurgitated gossip. Another guessing game for them for page clicks. No one but them knows what is going on.
My question is why did he pursue her again? She has always been the same — very outgoing, loving the spotlight, etc. Far from a private person. This is on him. The only thing I blame her for is her outlook on love — doing the film, album, etc. — it was all about him, it is a bit like worshipping him. Very strange. I am like, girl, you are a prize, act like it.
JLo should not have read the letters from Ben when she was engaged to another man. End of story. She didn’t HAVE to have an emotional affair, but she did. Relationships that start that way never end well.
They are both responsible. They know that they are not compatible, and both chose to ignore it. They should have dated and had fun. No stress. The incompatibility wouldn’t have mattered if they were both able to go home when they had enough of each other. They both decided to get married, they both own the break up of that marriage.
Money/Power/Sex are still the mains.
It’s so strange that he went in so hard for her. He’s a self-saboteur FOR SURE, but is he just a guy looking for love? Nothing with their lives has changed. She’s exactly the same baggage, obsessions, drivers. He’s exactly the same baggage, turn-offs, vices.
I think they both had a case of the midlife crisis nostalgia’s. 20 years ago they were both a lot younger a lot less trauma had occurred in their lives. No kids no failed marriages etc
You know how they say youth is wasted on the young…………..
Yup!
I had forgotten, but she ended her second marriage, to that dancer guy everyone said was nice, when she and Ben met and fell for each other. He pursued her then too, and did it again when she was with ARod? ARod was a cheater, but she would have been so much better off just dumping him and being single.
I think they both have the same issues they did 20 years ago, and am not surprised this didn’t work. I’d imagine both contributed to its demise.
@lucy2- EXACTLY!!! Henry Fonda had that weird religious guilt. In his book he said “If I made penetration, I had to propose”. I think she has some form of that. She doesn’t get that every relationship doesn’t have to end in marriage. I think Caspar not being on the same level as she was or even close financially is what stopped her from marrying him.
Exactly. He relishes the chase but gets bored if he actually has a relationship.
In the 00s, he wanted to be perceived as a ‘serious’ actor, and he (aka Matt Damon) thought JLo was too much thirsty and pop-culture adjacent.
Cue 20 yrs later, Jennifer has developed a long, mostly succesful career as a multiple entertainment fixture. She has become one of the most financially powerful female entrepreneurs in Hollywood.
By the time Ben was actively looking for a gf in Raya after his split with Ana de Armas, Jennifer does the Superbowl and receives serious Oscar nod buzz for her role in Hustlers (a movie/ role that imo didn’t deserve the hype, but wdik?). As the cherry on top, she becomes a 2020 top voting campaigner, and she goes on to attend Biden’s inauguration.
I think all this brought memories back and “elevated” her enough to create hopes for a better outcome a second time around.
I think this is an excellent synopsis of their relationship, then and now.
I completely agree with this take. None of us really know but, this holds for me.
Wow @aurora
I didn’t even think about how her career was on a professionally respected upswing (spec about an Oscar nom for Hustlers) when he zeroed back on her.
Frankly they both seem like shallow people so I’ve never been invested in them as a ship.
Having said that, if this divorce has anything to do with him maintaining his sobriety? My heart is with the guy
That’s tough
Maybe their lifestyles are just incompatible
I think both of them are more “addicted” to the highs of new love and think that when things normal out into routine, are a sign of failure. It doesn’t help that (I think) JLO has boundary issues (oversharing) — and Ben likes to make a scene of phoning it in. Both of these people need better therapists.
Cue him marrying a much younger woman way too quickly whose only “work” is to fix him and meet his every need. Siiiigggghhhh. This stuff is way too predictable.
I’ve been divorced, no shade on that. But these two didn’t seem very interested in the normal, quieter parts of partnership at all. It’s a good place to get to and I’m sad that we’ll never see a happy Bennifer after all.
I’m not so sure. “Much younger woman” doesn’t seem to be his M.O.
For all his questionable life choices, I give him credit for historically dating professional women relatively close to his age. Lindsay Shookus had a big deal job at SNL, Ana de Armas looked 22 but was inexplicably 30+, etc.
I’ll be both surprised and disappointed if he gets with a 20-something influencer/model. (*Cough* Chris Evans, *Cough* Chris Pratt)
Didn’t he already do that ? I believe the woman he had a short fling with ( the one he took to the lake house he and Jen G shared with the kids ) was a a 20-something influencer/model. The relationship end so fast because she posted pictures.
Wasn’t the woman he messaged on Raya in her 20s .
I forgot about the Raya girl!!!!!
@Lauren- Yeah, you’re right, there were a few. (A Playboy model, at some point, maybe?)
So his “dating adults with jobs” record has some holes, but I still don’t think he’ll date and marry a 20-something anytime soon. At least, I hope not. Nothing is more pathetic than a guy 50+ dating a woman in her 20s.
Actually, I don’t see him getting married any time soon. If he does it will take a long time for him to get married again if he ever marries again.
My friends have something that we call the 4×50 relay: if you been married four times by the age of fifty, then you must consider that something that you are doing isn’t working.
Jlo *just* squeaked by that metric, and she has a string of broken engagements and serious relationships that blew up spectacularly. She may want to take some time for herself, by herself to determine her next steps.
People who don’t know how to make themselves happy often make others miserable.
What is interesting to me is that was the subject of her movie, not the documentary. She was able to return to the greatest love ever known because she finally found and accepted herself. At least that is the way I interpreted the meaning.
My personal feeling was that if you’ve been divorced three times, three strikes you’re out. Fall in love, live with someone, etc, just…stop getting married.
@tursitops
very profound. You have to make yourself happy, no one else can. You can’t suck the bone marrow out of other people and expect them to make you happy.
Sadly, I believe JL said everything Ben wanted to hear before getting married. She even talked publicly about cutting back & spending more time with family. If she said that publicly, I can only imagine what she said to Ben. I believe ( and hope) that Ben is taking his sobriety very seriously now & doesn’t want to put himself in situations that would tempt his drinking. JL wants & thrives in that atmosphere! Reports are that not only lifestyle but they also conflicted with finances & parenting styles.
I believe that this marriage has been over & exists in name only. I would never want a marriage like this ( thank God, I am blessed with a wonderful marriage for over 20 years)
My husband says looks will get you, but PERSONALITY will keep you! And I ham so lucky that I got both with him!!!
Oh those pictures… in all of them, she looks stressed and he looks like he doesn’t really want to be there.
Although I’ve heard horrendous things about J Lo from people who work in the entertainment and service industries in Los Angeles, I legitimately feel bad for her here. Her movie album and tour about this relationship completely flopped, and now the relationship has flopped. That is *~*a lot*~* of public embarrassment for one year
It is with genuine respect that I ask you how you can be aware of her mean and cruel toxicity, yet still feel badly for her?
I feel that her picking the same unavailable man again, is a big part of her psychosocial dysfunction.
I perceive she is and always will be an ‘over reacher’ as this is a primary narcissistic trait that eventually brings the narcissist down.
@ Lindsay
Similarly, I don’t understand all these “poor her” responses. The simple fact is that the common denominator in all her relationships is her. He’s no prize, but she picked him.
It is possible to for major stars to have low-key, out-of-the-spotlight romances that endure. If your friends are taking bets and a drummer is playing rim shots during the vows then it’s time to reconsider your path.
I don’t wish her ill, and it’s always awful when a marriage ends, but the only person who can figure out why she isn’t happy/fulfilled in that relationship is her.
@GoodWitchGlenda: Nothing wrong with being an empathetic person – don’t change. We need more people like you.
I predict a Bennifer 3.0 in about 15 years. She’s Elizabeth Taylor all over again.
@KELLY
I don’t think so. I think Ben is so done.
Those alleged comments about if he could divorce on terms of insanity & feeling like this has been a ” fever dream” did not come out of nowhere.
I think her entourage consumed their marriage, especially when she was working on multiple projects at the same time!
I don’t think Ben would be easy to live with, either. He mentioned (in an interview) that when he lived with Matt ( Damon) that Matt was a slob. I found that surprising & thought Matt would be the neat one & Ben would have been the slob. ( not sure why?)
There were leaks that Ben didn’t want to clean up after their animals which frustrated JL. He felt they should hire someone. Don’t know how true this is, though.
I think JL needs to move back to NY or Miami to revive her career & for a fresh start..
I love animals but I can understand him wanting to hire someone to clean up after them. They have plenty of money for that. The pet doesn’t care who is cleaning their mess, only who is spending time with them, being affectionate etc. YMMV but that seems like a weird bone to pick if she really was bothered by it.
I am not that surprised if it is true that Matt was the slob. People always thought Matt was the smart one too, that Ben only typed the script for Good Will Hunting etc. But it seems to me that Ben, for all of his issues, is the smarter, funnier one. His impressions are hilarious (Matt’s are pretty good but Ben has a more range). He also directed an Oscar winning movie. Has Matt ever directed (anything good?)
Yes, Liz Taylor and Richard Burton.
Let me get this straight. JLo was still involved with ARod when Ben started love bombing her with love letters. This sounds so familiar. Oh yeah, he did the same thing when she was married to Casper. The signs were all there. This was always going to end in tears. 💁🏽♀️ Oh well.
As the parent of a recovering addict (and having worked in the addiction/recovery space for 7+ years), that remark about Ben being “free to drink and gamble” is insulting. His “detachment” might be his way of withdrawing when things become too much/overstimulating for him – and those same things can be triggers to use. Very often, people with addiction issues have co-diagnoses (I.e., alcoholism & self-harm, shopping, gambling, $ex, etc.). I can say that I have seen a great many people that become withdrawn from situations (see: JLo’s ‘like’ of an Instagram post regarding you can’t be in a relationship with someone who is detached from said relationship). Perhaps she is not educated in how to best live with a person that has addiction issues. This is what Al-Anon is for. NOT placing all the blame on her by a long shot. I’m sure he didn’t communicate his needs/coping mechanisms, and she isn’t a mind-reader.
Thank you for this. There are those with physical and emotional concerns you cannot see. We need to be kinder.
@MUSTANG SALLY
Yes, Thank you!
I kinda thought that might be the case with Ben & you explained it so well!!!
I read that the documentary was HIS idea and that she only wanted to do a video. If that is the case and she took it and ran with it after he suggested it….
I don’t know ..this is all so sad. I really feel for her.
This was a bad idea from the start, and they never should have gotten married. They were clearly having an affair that broke up two families. I certainly hope they have this out of their systems, because if their relationship rears it’s ugly head one more time, they need to be sprayed with a hose…
Best of luck to their family and friends.
Ben was single when they got back together. Jen’s relationship ended, it’s true, but Ben’s marriage had been over for quite a while and his previous relationship had ended too. He didn’t cheat on anyone with JLo.
I’m sorry, I should have been specific – the families affected were Arod’s and J’Lo’s. They were living together and had blended their family.
When you think about it, the musical movie and documentary were ALL ABOUT HER. The musical movie was the same thing she’s been saying for years: Why can’t I be alone? I believe in love. I love weddings. Oh, wait, I am finally able to be alone after self-reflection and loving myself – except as I tell my therapist that I”m good alone,” I am whiplash-style riding off into the sunset with my true love.
She has said this before. She wrote a whole book about learning self-love. In the middle of promoting that book, Casper was outed as cheating. She pretends to break up with him, or says that they were broken up when he cheated, during promoting the book, and then immediately is back with him the minute she is finished promotion.
It’s why no one found real substance in her musical movie. She ran from Alex to Ben. Alex was just as much a husband even though not formally. Had it not been for the pandemic she probably would have married him early on. They were together five years, engaged. They bought property together. Their children were together longer than Ben’s kids were with her kids. Alex and Jennifer were trying to invest or buy a sports team, and it fell apart literally a couple of months before the breakup. Her life was very intertwined with his and his children’s as was his with her children. Within weeks she was with Ben and moved her kids within a couple of months to California, a new school, and Ben was in their lives and then his kids.
I think it’s more about Jennifer than about Ben. She cares about the image to the public regarding this relationship more than anything. She loves him very much. I agree. But not one person knows what that means in their private relationship. Proclaiming mad love over and over to the public doesn’t mean you are some great spouse behind the scenes or that your great love (Ben) a complicated man, is all that you are selling (yes, selling) to the public.
They both have addiction issues — Ben with gambling and alcohol, which thankfully seem to be under control, while Jen is addicted to the euphoric rush of love but is too self-obsessed to keep it private. It’s almost like she tried to monetize the relationship — her hunger for attention and validation is like a bottomless pit. Sometimes, no matter how driven you are for success, you have to slow down and read the room, something she doesn’t seem to be capable of. I don’t think either of them are capable of sitting down, maybe with a counselor, and making the changes necessary to make their relationship work. Maybe they thought that the intervening years taught them valuable life lessons, but what was a problem 20 years ago seems to still be a problem.
It feels very much to me that he could not be happy for her and let go of himself, how he would be perceived and have it be this is beautiful, this is Jen, an artist, my wife, and our love was a muse for her to create this and share with the world. Whether it was too personal too corny etc I just feel he could not extract himself from it and just be supportive and happy for his woman. And I feel like Jen is just too mature to take that kind of heartache, having a man that can’t forget himself long enough to be supportive and happy for her creation and happiness and success is just a pill no woman should want to swallow and her having the ability to not NEED him I think will heal something deeply for her. I think he’s doing her a favor in a way. She wants a great love, a soul connection that feels profound and historic and if it ends up being a love story with her own true self and essence even more beautiful for her and us. She wants what she wants and he may have faked it for who knows how many conscious and subconscious reasons and that’s his journey and healing if he ever chooses to see it.
Was not supportive? How much more supportive could he have been on a project he was uncomfortable with being about him to an extent and like everyone else didn’t want to see her sink a small fortune into since no wanted to invest in it. The guy kept an eye on the project and had a little input because of his expertise as a filmmaker. He did a bit part. I liked the musical movie, but a four-pronged approach to this was exhausting and foolhardy.
Jason Bergh, the director of the documentary part, who has worked with J-Lo for many years, said Jennifer told him how supportive Ben had been during the making of the musical movie. He even helped her write a monologue in one part. She told the director of the documentary that. The whole4-pronged project went down like a lead balloon because it was too much. And I have gone on record that I admire that fact that she got it made and that it was good. I loved, loved her choreography and the fact that J-Lo at 54 could pull off scenes about cheesy love and her same, ongoing issues that seemed more appropriate for a younger version of her in her 40s when you might feel she really had learned something, and had not been repeating it still for another decade into her 50s
For all of his faults and his uneasiness about all of this, Ben supported the heck out of J-Lo. He believes in her talent. He has raved about her. But nothing is ever enough for Jennifer. Her insistence on trying to go through with the tour when it was not selling because her album was a HUGE flop and taking more time away from her family and kids, who did not want to travel with her at age 16, shows that her drive to do all of this was at the cost of relationships. She said in an interview she was trying to “force” her teenagers to take their summer and go on the tour, or a chunk of it.
There is a lot negative about Ben, but I stand by my statement that Ben leaned into the J-Lo way of being and really did want her to succeed because he loved her. While you are talking about she’s making her art, what you are forgetting is this year when each project got hit with negativity, the album was an embarrassing failure considering all of the promotions she put into it, the musical movie, documentary, tour, don’t think she was all peachy at home raving about making her art. When things are flailing and failing, the drama behind the scenes for that artist is chaos and unhappiness about it and in this case trying to salvage the tour for months before caving and cancelling. I doubt the last four months have been happy in the Bennifer household.
Jayna, excellent analysis. Thank you.
Agree, great analysis, @ Jayna. My take is, their reunion and subsequent marriage was crafted into a spectacle and it seems only one person was behind this spectacle-making – and that was JLo. Believe me, I’m not saying Ben is or has ever been perfect. But what does creating a spectacle have to do with a successful marriage or relationship? Being used to bring (more) attention is not a healthy psychological dynamic for a relationship. You can say he was her muse and it was for love but love of what or whom?
I think Jennifer lacks emotional maturity. Until she can understand this incessant need to always have a man or being a relationship good bad or ugly she’s going to continue lacking emotional maturity.
@ Jayna, @Whatnow
I think I agree with you both. I think Ben loved her greatly and really tried. Maybe she did too, but I think her relationship should have been sacrosanct, and I go back to the letters. And I don’t know that she stepped out of what she always does, and always did. Pose, overshare, live on social media. Yes, he went along with things, but I remember them, in particular Jen, posing in Italy(?) at first, and I thought uh oh. But also, I tried to watch the documentary, couldn’t go the distance, but in what I saw, I felt like I was watching them fight rather passively-aggressively, and I thought she was childish in her comebacks, and I just got desperation from all this. I agree that counseling could be very helpful. If they do announce, I wonder if she will ask for privacy. I want to see powerful women succeeding on all fronts, but I wanted her to succeed in her private life too. I just don’t think she has one. Maybe go talk to Jane Fonda again. And again.
I read that Jen Garner is ready to bow out of things too and that him coming to her for advice and a shoulder has been an issue in her relationship. I think he messed up when he left her..
These two have been going round and round for over twenty years. Why did they think that it would work this time. They just put time, spouses and kids in the middle. They are both so extra and exhausting to us and to each other.
She’s been married four times now. At what point do look at yourself and think that the problem is ME? But she will get married again. She loves the idea of illusive true love, the courtship, big showy weddings and engagement rings,
The writing was on the wall after she shared those letters and had no regard for his feelings about it. Seems like there wasn’t much give-and-take in their dynamic. He seemed like the perfect supportive partner in the documentary though
I haven’t commented on this prior to now because I am not particularly invested in the outcome. I know he has addiction issues and she doesn’t appear to know who she is in the absence of a man’s adoring gaze. I wish them both well. Most especially, I wish the children well.
I feel like the only time he has ever shown any enthusiasm for anything is for Dunkin Donuts. He absolutely has some filmmaking credibility, but it’s weird to me, because he doesn’t seem to have any passion for anything he’s done- he acts like he’s been forced to show up. Similarly, he’s never seemed to care all that much for anyone he’s ever been involved with romantically, to the point that Jennifer Garner was on SNL making fun of him for calling their marriage “the hardest thing he’s ever done” or something like that. Why is this mediocre, emotionally stunted, very damaged man so romanticized and lionized? Not even handsome- he looks like every bloated drunk dad who wishes he had a like like Ben Affleck’s.
You’re right. He often appears miserable. But in interviews, like The Hollywood Reporter, his passion and love for the filmmaking industry in all facets, including the business end, shines through as does his intellect. I do have to say he had a field day promoting Air. He was as happy as I’ve ever seen him about a project.
Read the Hollywood Reporter’s long-form interview with him to get a true sense of Ben and his feelings about this industry and his life, good and bad, while in it. What is sad is his love for J-Lo popped up in a few comments. You could feel the ways in which he respected her and listened to her. It’s sad how it all went wrong.
As gloomy as Ben can be on red carpets, you never hear one word from people in the movie business who have worked with him say anything negative about working with him as an actor or director. I like what he is trying to achieve with his (and Matt’s) new company, Artists Equity. Although, Ben is the business end of it, not Matt. He is very astute about the financial end of making movies, etc.
Viola Davis had this to say about working on Ben’s set for Air.
Viola Davis, who stars as Michael Jordan’s mom in the film, praised Affleck as a director to the The Hollywood Reporter. “The veteran actress called making Air ‘an unbelievable experience that me and my husband and even my hair and makeup team still talk about to this day.’ She continued: ‘Ben’s an auteur and so unbelievably kind and respectful. It was one of our top experiences of being treated the way we felt we deserved to be treated.'”
I’m no fan of JLO but I feel like Sadfleck really shafted her. He is just as much of a drama queen who loves to make a big public display of his love as she. Isn’t he the one who called their love letters “the greatest love story etc” in the first place? (I’m sure Jen G felt great about that.)
And he had been gushing about her in public statements for years- (Vogue even had an article about it.) and then he pursued her like crazy when she was with AROD. I would imagine it’s pretty hard to resist a multi year love bombing even for a savy 50 something. Remember him telling about how “beautiful” there love was on talk shows? Remember him crying at the restaurant when they first got together? And then one year after the marriage he’s done. What a d*ck.
OMG I absolutely agree with all of this! you took the words right out of my mouth. He came up with calling it the greatest love story never told, he called it that in a Vanity Fair article. He totally loved bombed her and she has always held a torch for him that she fell for it again! This man cheated on her during their 1st engagement with his now ex wife. I would have never taken him back.
I’m not sure if you’re saying Ben cheated on JLo with Jen G or that he cheated on Jen G also? because Ben never cheated on JLo with Jen G. He cheated on JLo with a prostitute days before the wedding.
Who do we predict Jlo’s jumpoff will be?
I don’t think anyone even wants to think about that, although some have said it will probably be a casper/chris judd type. she’ll let us know soon although both of them need to just date casually although I don’t think jlo’s ever done that. Ben will be back on Raya.
Jennifer has dated casually in between some of her husbands or partners. She saw Drake for a bit after Casper. She and others were seen out casually together.
Henceforth he will always be Ben “Not Going Anywhere” Affleck to me. Just when does some self-awareness kick in: age 80?
This was just in a report about JG done with helping Ben with his marriage to JL:
“She only wants the best for Ben. Jen hopes one day he can find someone who understands him and can love him unconditionally,” says an insider.
“She wants to be able to concentrate on her own future.”
This alleged statement really seems to say that JL & Ben are done & that a divorce is imminent…