Bethann Hardison: ‘A certain selfishness is very important to have’

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In our continuing series on documentaries-on-fabulous-women, please take a look at Invisible Beauty, about the inimitable Bethann Hardison. (Yes, technically the film has been out on Hulu for awhile, but Bethann just had an excellent interview with People Mag this week so I’m counting it as a new entry!) After working as a runway model in the 1960s (Bethann is stuh-ning, with an eccentric sense of style I adore), she teamed up with Iman to create the Black Girls Coalition in 1988. BGC was/is a groundbreaking agency that spotlights Black creatives in the fashion and beauty industries. So yeah, it’s about time we have a Bethann Hardison doc. She’s as busy as ever, and just shared some fountains of wisdom with People:

Travel alone! “I always say to young women, ‘Take a trip by yourself.’ Stop telling yourself you have to be with others. Some people, they just don’t feel good if they don’t have somebody sitting next to them that they know. But I think you always do better when you travel alone. You get to know more interesting things and more interesting people. People approach single people traveling alone more quickly than if they were sitting with other people. … I’m always around a lot of people, but I do like being alone. It’s a wonderful thing, and it’s wonderful when you know it.”

With beauty, less is more: “I never wash my face twice a day. Only once. I spritz my face every day with rosemary glycerin and use a CBD face oil. It’s really nice. I don’t wear makeup all the time, just usually when I go out to an event, and then as natural as possible. I used to always, always, always use mascara no matter what — I don’t do that anymore. I don’t even think twice about it.

Good selfishness: “A certain selfishness is very important to have. When I was a kid, my father, who I admired greatly, called me selfish once, and I was so hurt. But when he saw that I was so bummed out, he had to come to me and explain what selfishness could be without it being negative. You do have to do that and have that attitude with yourself and care a lot more for yourself.”

Wait, is she subtly shading Naomi Campbell here? It’s especially nice to go to another country and find some wellness place [to meditate]. Naomi Campbell always said to me, ‘I want to send you this place.” Oh, years gone by and decades went by. And then when my birthday was coming up, and it was a significant birthday, I took myself to Turkey, to The Life Co. And it’s really, really nice. It’s a place of detoxification, but you learn a lot.”

Stretch thyself, literally: “I stretch all the time. I’m getting ready to have a knee replacement coming up, and I’m doing prehab exercises for that. But I do stretch. I’m on the bike a lot. I was an athlete. I ran track when I was a young kid. This one woman told me that she notices that whenever someone is toned like [I am]. If they had ever been an athlete, they still hold that form in their tone of their body. That may be true. … I am always doing some sort of exercise, but it’s never a consistent thing anymore. But what I would like to do is get into doing heavy weights, or boxing.”

[From People]

Oh great, someone else telling me I should be exercising. I guess I can start with a simple stretch. But to any prospective parents out there: get ‘em started young! Cause my mother did ballet through her teens, and da-yum are her legs still toned from that, like Bethann describes. Where my mother would quibble with her, though, is on the minimal makeup regimen. I once made the mistake of informing my mother that I would be attending a party hosted by BD Wong. What followed was a flood of texts from her, as follows: “I know you don’t wear makeup much these days, and not that you’re not beautiful because YOU ARE but please put on some concealer, mascara, blush, and lipstick before you go. BD Wong famously wore makeup when he was in M. Butterfly!”

There’s so much to enjoy here from Bethann. I love it each and every time we hear a woman touting the virtues of traveling alone. I’ve always been told I do too much on my own, but Bethann’s counsel spurs me on! As do her comments on the importance of selfishness. What a wonderful father she had, too, who noticed her reaction and took the time to explain and reframe the word for her. Good selfishness: like good trouble, only you’re advocating for a positive relationship with yourself.

photos credit: Jennifer Bloc/Future Image/Cover Images, Joe Sutter / Avalon, Getty

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8 Responses to “Bethann Hardison: ‘A certain selfishness is very important to have’”

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  1. Nev says:

    Love her!
    Shes formidable.

    • SA says:

      Until I watched the documentary had no idea Kadeem Hardison was her son. He was on A Different World back in the 80s/90s? Well Kadeems mom truly is an amazing woman! Also: Kismet, Thank you for highlighting all these documentaries on kick@ss women!

  2. sevenblue says:

    In my 20’s, I travelled first with my sister, then alone twice a year. Travelling is nice with someone, but being alone was much better for me. I don’t like to plan a lot and can change my mind any minute, it is hard to do that when you are travelling with other people. She had a good father advising her about importance of taking care of herself. I know, in my family, girls are taught to take care of other people from a young age, while boys are not. It is hard to unlearn these things and be different from other people around you.

  3. MS. Lib says:

    A beautiful tribute to a formidable woman.

  4. Jess says:

    I love doing stuff by myself because it’s the only time I can truly do what I want and not worry about whether my companions are enjoying themselves. And I am bad at being selfish but need to be selfish more often. I need to watch this doc. I love Kadeem and didn’t know his mom was a badass!

  5. swaz says:

    I too enjoy my own company, maybe too much sometimes 😍

  6. Nanea says:

    It’s so good to see documentaries about strong, independent women like Bethann Hardison getting made.

    Our daughters can count themselves lucky to have role models like BH, or Iman, or Céline — focusing on a different key aspect, her health and partial recovery — to look at and learn from.