Rihanna: Chris Brown was insecure & controlling before he was abusive

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Rihanna is the cover girl for the February 2010 issue of W Magazine, and the photo spread was photographed beautifully by Craig McDean. I really like the cover shot and all of the photos from the magazine. And the interview is a good read as well – a surprisingly breezy interview with Rihanna, done as sort of a portrait of young musical superstar who is finding her footing, her comeback, her voice, yet again. The full article is here, but here are some of the highlights:

Rihanna on her maturity: “I’ve been paying my own bills since I was 17, living in a foreign country. And I’ve always been a little older than my real age. People always said that to me, and I always felt that in my head.”

On her favorite part of the day: “When I’m with my glam team getting my hair and makeup done—we talk so much sh-t!”

She‘s proud of herself for not talking a lot about Chris Brown: “Not talking was a big thing for me. I’m glad I didn’t talk to people, because I was able to deal with things in my own way, without saying the wrong things or giving people the wrong impression.”

On her new album, Rated R: “This was a different type of record for me. It was really personal; it was from me in the most authentic way. It’s like a movie… in that when I was making this album, every day I was in a different mood. Sometimes I was pissed off, sometimes I was miserable, and every song brings out a different story.”

On her “young fans”: “My fans have until now been really young, like five years old to just before adulthood. But now older adults are into my music. Straight men too! Men couldn’t really bump my last album in the car. With this album they can play it and still feel tough.”

After the beating: “I started to go crazy after about a month in the house,” she says of the time after her split from Brown, “so I went back to work, and the mic was my therapist. With the mic, there were no negative comments, no negative energy. At first I completely shut down. But now I feel like this happened to me so I could be a voice for young girls who are going through what I went through and don’t know how to talk about it. It’s not about Chris, about hurting him or sabotaging his career. I don’t care about that part of it.”

On not being able to confide in those closest to her: “It’s like they are too close to you. When you have to talk about something so painful, they are going to get too emotional. And that wasn’t helping me, because I already felt the same way and I’m looking to not feel like this. I felt like, If I’m going to tell you something and you’re going to have pity for me, then I’m not going to talk to you.”

The warning signs with Chris Brown: “There were control issues, insecurity,” she says. “When people are insecure they become very controlling and they can get very aggressive and in turn abusive. It doesn’t have to be physical. Like they would say bad stuff to you to make you feel lesser than them just so they would have control in the relationship. It takes a big toll on your emotions and on your everyday life. It changes you.”

On her appearance on SNL, which had a skit that mocked the alleged violence between Elin and Tiger Woods: “Violence should of course be avoided at any cost, but Saturday Night Live is a show that finds humor in every serious situation, so it wasn’t offensive to me in any way,” she says.

[From W Magazine]

I’ve said before that I think Rihanna has spent this last year figuring out she is and playing around with imagery that is both empowering and confusing. For most of her photo shoots, she seems to be playing around with domination-subjugation imagery, which I take as Rihanna attempting to control her environment through the only way she knows how. As far as the interview goes, this might be one of the most “over it” ones Rihanna has done all year – it doesn’t seem like she’s completely over Chris Brown, but it sounds like she’s being introspective and intelligent about all of the crap that’s come her way.

W Magazine cover and additional images courtesy of W online.

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33 Responses to “Rihanna: Chris Brown was insecure & controlling before he was abusive”

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  1. ,,,, says:

    If she’s so mature and above those her “real age” then why is her favorite part of the day the time that she gets to talk s—?

    That sounds more like the best part of a 14 year old’s day to me.

  2. C-DUB says:

    She found her voice? Where? Cute girl but her voice still SUCKS!!!

  3. bite me says:

    wait a minute, am i the only one that remembers her saying in the 20/20 interview that they were both equally dangerous for each other… when will her 15 minutes be up.. she can’t sing or dance and deosn’t wirte her own song, oh nevermind that didn’t stop brit brit from becoming a superstar, carry on rih rih

  4. Firestarter says:

    ““There were control issues, insecurity,” she says. “When people are insecure they become very controlling and they can get very aggressive and in turn abusive”

    She was spot on with that comment.

  5. WTF?!? says:

    She is proving more and more that she’s an ignorant, thug-loving skank.

    STOP TALKING ABOUT IT NOW and try to be famous for something other than a beatdown and dreadful fashion sense.

    No, Bite Me, I remember that, too, and long for the days when she was mum on the subject. She doesn’t talk about music or the industry or charity work or even her own projects, just the worst night of her life. That’s very sad, and very telling.

    Oh, and @,,,,: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

  6. Ron says:

    I think she’s said her peace on this. When will the media let it go?

  7. SageAdvice says:

    She’s been through a lot of therapy it seems. I agree with her about talking about personal problems with people who care too much. I much prefer talking to people who have no emotional stake in my life (i.e. therapists, psychologists) because I can just vent to them and not have to deal with them agonizing over it for the next like, month and bringing whatever it is up over and over.

  8. SageAdvice says:

    I can also honestly say the best part of my day is shooting the sh** with my gays at work. I’m 23. For some people the best part of their day might be, I dunno, making sure that their TPS reports got in on time.

    Mine is talking sh** with my gays.

    And she is allowed to talk about her incident as much as she likes. She doesn’t really talk that much about it in this interview anyway.

    I hope she continues to talk about it because women will always be in abusive relationships and ALL women can learn from her experience.

  9. ,,,, says:

    “Shooting the s—” and “talking so much s—” are two entirely different things to me. But that’s just me and I interpret things differently than others, obviously. I honestly don’t know what she means. She could mean just hanging out and messing around or she could mean putting others down and acting hateful. I really don’t know.

  10. Sumodo says:

    Yawn pudding with snore sauce. The attack was what, a year ago? Shut up, Rihanna. Your story is old news.

  11. ien says:

    the pics are gorgeous.

    and when she says “we talk so much shit” i don’t think she’s saying it in a “talking bad about people” way but more of a “we make fun of/play around with/joke with each other and laugh” way…at least that’s how i take it.

    anyway..i def think it’s time for the journalists/interviewers to move on and stop asking about chris. rihanna seems over it.

  12. Firestarter says:

    LOL@ “Yawn pudding and snore sauce” May I use that sometime Sumodo?

  13. Sincerity says:

    I’m very sorry that Rihanna was beaten and humiliated by Chris Brown; however, it’s time for her “to heal and move on”.

    I’ve seen women abused by their husbands and lovers. No one, male or female, should have to experience being brutalized by someone who is suppose to love them. I know it’s hard but at some point, you have to let it go in order to move on.

    Perhaps Rihanna should avoid intimate relationships until she’s completely healed and whole. Intimacy is wonderful; however, refraining from it has its’ benefits, especially when you’re dealing with weighty issues. I wish Rihanna nothing except the best. You go, girl!!!

  14. Steeze says:

    i think its disgusting how some people attack her and tell her to shut up about this situation. if this was your sister, mother, friend you would tell them to talk about it all they want. i dont know what its like to be brutally beaten, especially by your first serious love. i can imagine it scars you for life. have some empathy people and stop being toxic.

  15. Becks says:

    OMG firestarter where do you come up with your hilarious stuff? LOL

    Anyways – this girls needs to shut up about 2 months ago. I am so sick of her using this for attention, I am sorry they beat each other up, but the public has heard enough about it – MOVE THE F ON ALREADY!!! Everyone bashes him, yes, he did wrong, but so did she. Hes not out in the public seeking attention or on every magazine talking about it…he is trying to move forward, but she just keeps on and on and on like an energizer bunny!!! STOP THE MADNESS!!!

  16. ! says:

    Shit talking with “your gays”? What, are they your dogs?

  17. Jeri says:

    She gets all these questions from the press. I think she’s handling it well.
    She sounds better all the time & if she wants to BS w/her pals so what. Some of you are way overly critical.

  18. SageAdvice says:

    Um, no “exclamation point”. They are my gay friends at work. I call them my gays, they call me their Walking Tit. Sensitive much?

  19. Shannon says:

    Rihanna isn’t the one bringing up the incident with Chris, so I don’t understand why all of the haters are freaking out at her for it. The INTERVIEWER is the one asking the questions about Chris Brown. If you don’t like it, take it up with the INTERVIEWER, not Rihanna. My god some of the people here are stupid.

  20. Nadia says:

    “She is proving more and more that she’s an ignorant, thug-loving skank.”

    Mmm, no – that would be you.

  21. Firestarter says:

    @Becks- aI can’t take credit for “yawn pudding and snore sauce” That was Sumodo’s creation.

  22. Maria says:

    if she really was the way she is in this interview, I’d still like her! But the reality is, it’s just a good interview. She is still arrogant, self-centered, and strange.

  23. margo says:

    Damn, in no way should this young woman be condemned for addressing and answering questions about a dramatic and difficult incident in her life! STFU!!

    To those who are slamming Rihanna: Have you ever been brutally beaten by someone you love?! STOP THE HATE-you have no idea what impact this has on a woman!

    My guess its some teeny bopper Chris Brown fans who have no clue about adult life-or CB himself continuing trying to keep her down-srsly? Fucking nerve of you haters!

  24. andrea says:

    wow, what’s with the riri hate?

    “She is proving more and more that she’s an ignorant, thug-loving skank.” STOP TALKING ABOUT IT NOW and try to be famous for something other than a beatdown and dreadful fashion sense.”

    WTF is right. i’m glad i don’t know you.

  25. Goddess711 says:

    …and she didn’t leave him when she first started seeing his screwed-up behavior why????
    I don’t feel sorry for this chick, never have. I don’t condone Chris Brown’s actions in the least but this chick is as dumb as a board. How many out there actually believe it’s the first time he’d raised a hand to her? Puhleeeaassse. Leaving after you get the sh** beat out of you is no heroic act, especially after this interview. She knew it, saw it and stuck around for it. She’s only been speaking up because she got press out of it, like she’s some kind of icon for women in abusive situations. That’s crap. She stuck around with what she’s complaining about now because he got her press that ain’t L O V E, THAT is insecure. She’d look as dumb as she is if she went back to him now, but if she hadn’t had him busted she’d be back with him. All this after-shit just gets her more press. And puleasssseee don’t start with the “when you love somebody”, we’re in a far too advanced age in time for people to be crying that bull. Women are too smart and there is too much out there for women to do to get out of these situations. Women with far less opportunities have taken themselves and their children and left. Rhianna’s sucking every ounce she can get out of this.

  26. kermit says:

    Something doesn’t feel right about her. She expresses reasonably well but…
    One to watch.

    Also, another photoshopped reshaping of a woman’s body by W mag.

  27. jzhz says:

    Thanks, Steeze. Maybe it’s just the misogyny talking, but it seems folks are awfully harsh and judgemental about her situation.

  28. SisterAgnes says:

    I do not understand why people are telling her to shut up and move on. That’s a very cold and quite frankly heartless point of view. She was beaten black and blue, nevermind the physical injuries there are probably deep emotional and psychological wounds that will take YEARS to heal. And yet here are people blasting her for trying to get to grips with it the best way she knows how. Very sad. If you are sick of reading about her or reading what she has to say, the solution is simple, don’t click on a topic to do with her. End of.

    On a more pleasant note, the pictures are lovely. Nice to see her more covered up but still looking sexy.

  29. ogechi says:

    yes violence should of course be avoided at any cost.

  30. bo says:

    To anyone who is insecure and thinks they are destined to become controlling or violent… she forgot to mention that no matter how you feel, you can choose whether to act on it.

  31. Volō Dīcere says:

    “men couldn’t really bump my last album in the car, with this album they can play it and still feel tough” Isn’t this what got her in publicity, I mean trouble, in the first place, a man feeling tough in a car?

  32. me says:

    what was that about saying that now she has straight men fans and then saying “now men too can listen to it”? does it mean gay men are not men? nice one on those gay guys that blow their money on your lack of talent missy

  33. Dan says:

    sorry but after her comments about “i feel sorry for your bf if you dont send him naked snaps” and her remark about straight men and the SNL skit in that article shes a fucking idiot. and yeh shes doesnt talk until…her album comes out? i imagine its hard and of course when somthing really bad happens you dont talk immediatly but somthing about her whole persona and the way she talks about this issue seems very contrived.