Ben Affleck couldn’t hide his ‘erratic behavior & giant mood swings’ forever

Jennifer Lopez’s fight-back began as soon as she filed for divorce last week. It’s more than likely that Jennifer and Ben Affleck were barely in contact this summer, and whenever they did speak, it was because Jennifer took the initiative. A narrative is taking shape that at some point in March or April, Ben was completely and totally done with the marriage and he stopped trying. After J.Lo filed for divorce, she’s ensuring that her side is being put out there. I believe Jennifer is behind the rumors about Ben and Kick Kennedy. And I know J.Lo is behind this People Mag story about Ben’s mood swings:

Ben Affleck’s unpredictable moods played a central role in his and Jennifer Lopez’s divorce. Despite their feelings toward each other, the 52-year-old actor’s extreme and sudden changes in mood ultimately drove a wedge between them, a source tells PEOPLE.

“The truth is there was a great deal of love but also unfortunately what became clear were Ben’s erratic mood swings that he couldn’t hide from the press, as much as he tried to,” the source says.

“You could see the erratic behavior, the giant mood swings,” the source continues, describing how the actor would go from “being incredibly happy and warm — the best light that emanated from him” to exhibiting “the deepest, darkest behavior. I think he was signaling a message to the press,” the source adds. “But yet participating.”

Since April — Lopez, 55, listed the couple’s separation date as April 26 in her Aug. 20 divorce filing — the duo tried to make their marriage work, but Affleck’s fluctuating mood made things difficult, the source says. “They were trying to work through it, but when the mood swings and the big highs and big lows informed a toxicity that was pervasive, no one can help you — you have to help yourself,” the source explains. “But I would not be so bold to say there isn’t love — of course there is. The world was rooting for them, but who he said he was and who he turned out to be were two different people.”

[From People]

This, combined with the story about his “darkness,” is making me wonder if there was some larger incident in the spring which has not been disclosed. It feels like people are talking around something larger. The mood swings, the darkness, the erratic behavior – it’s like the Kanyeification of Ben Affleck. It’s interesting. Meanwhile, this is just sad, and it’s also from Team Lopez: Ben hasn’t spoken to his stepkids at all in months.

Amid Jennifer Lopez’s divorce from Ben Affleck, Lopez has remained close with Affleck’s children, but he has not been in contact with hers, according to a source. The source tells PEOPLE that the Hustlers actress, 55, often spoke of what a good father the Good Will Hunting actor, 52, is to his kids, Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 12, whom he shares with exJennifer Garner.

“[Jennifer] went out there and told the world what a great dad he was,” they say.

Lopez herself is a mom to 16-year-old twins Max and Emme, whom she shares with ex Marc Anthony. The “Jenny from the Block” singer is “still close to Garner and all five kids,” the source says. The Gone Girl actor, meanwhile, is “close to his three kids” but “has not been in touch with her kids.”

“The fact that he has not seen her kids in a long time, it’s like he left, but she is especially close to his kids,” the source continues, citing Lopez’s attendance at Samuel’s graduation ceremony in June and Violet spending a week with the singer during her Hamptons vacation in July.

“But she’s also close to Marc’s kids from [his] previous relationship,” the source adds of the four children the “Vivir Mi Vida” singer, 55, welcomed prior to his relationship with Lopez. Adds the source: “She keeps in touch with the children and she’s a good mom.”

[From People]

This really sucks. It always appeared that Ben seemed especially close to Emme too, and J.Lo really did make an effort to spend time with his kids and blend the family. Ben is really coming across like a major a–hole here, but I believe J.Lo’s narratives. Some of you won’t and that’s fine, but she is making sure that this split doesn’t go down the same way as the 2004 split.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.

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84 Responses to “Ben Affleck couldn’t hide his ‘erratic behavior & giant mood swings’ forever”

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  1. Pinkosaurus says:

    The Kick Kennedy thing is interesting. Disclosure – I have an immediate dislike of KK for stealing her kick-ass aunt’s nickname for notoriety. Besides that, she seems like bad news and has a pretty established reputation for being involved in hard drugs, including having a short-term billionaire boyfriend die from an OD after dating her a few months (Matthew Mellon, Tamara Mellon’s ex). If it happened, that fling does not bode well for BA’s sobriety. He may have fallen off the wagon the same time he dropped out of the marriage.

    • Agnes says:

      I thought the same thing. “Darkness” as code for falling off the wagon.

      • K says:

        Agreed. And I think he cheated with the Kennedy.

      • Barrett says:

        Ben’s dad had issues maybe he has some deeper issues-bipolar etc. I can’t armchair diagnosis but he seems to be reliving some inter generational stuff. Genes, environment, substance abuse…..

      • Cee says:

        That’s what I thought too. Addiction is shit and constant work. I won’t judge him for falling off the wagon but I will judge him on how poorly he handles his shit.

    • Nic says:

      +1 totally agree that we don’t need to worry about KK. Her appropriation of her great aunt’s identity is crass and she can only benefit from having her name bandied about by inserting herself into the narrative of this split. I think the breakup has less to do with her than with Ben’s fragile ego. He and JL split the first time after the public ridicule of Gigli and now it looks like he started to distance himself after the failure of This is me… now. Reminds me of Justin Timberlake – quick to sacrifice women to deflect taking responsibility for his own poor judgement.

      • Flamingo says:

        They split because he cheated on her 3 days before the wedding. I get love is blind. But Jennifer knew who she was reconciling with.

        But I do think there is a correlation between Ben and his need to be respected in Hollywood. With the string of flops Jennifer has had. That he willingly participated in.

        And how so many people came out of the woodwork to tell their stories of how they were treated badly by Jennifer on Tik Tok. With the tell your worst celebrity encounter trend. Someone had made a comment in another post that. If her projects had been successful. Would he have lost interest and dipped out so fast. I think not.

      • Sasha says:

        I don’t know why we keep over looking the fact that Ben relapses- constantly. That’s always a factor with them. They may not be huge relapses – like month long binges, but sneaking drinks etc would have pushed her away

    • Sophie says:

      Yep, exactly, if he’s hanging out with her than it’s a really bad sign for his sobriety.

      • Chaine says:

        ITA. I’ve been thru the wringer of a relationship with a profound addict and if you want to continue the relationship you have to accept that they are prone to relapse and that if and when they do, they will hurt you and become again a person you never knew beneath the mask of sobriety. It often starts with “it’s only one beer” or something like that where they think they are in control and that you as the partner are nagging them and stopping them having fun. They slide quickly back into full scale use and end up back in rehab. Rinse, repeat. Some people are willing to put up with this for the sake of love but I personally could not and I don’t blame JLo for throwing in the towel if Ben relapsed repeatedly.

      • Cee says:

        I had a similar experience and realised I was not the person for him. He liked me because I don’t drink or do drugs so he was always clean with me. However, when he relapsed he showed me his other face and it was ugly. I was keeping him sober while others were making him relapse (no accountability, this guy) I walked away.

    • SaraTor says:

      Jen Garner said that when he is happy with you it’s like the sun is shining on you but when he’s not it’s very very cold. So that adds a lot of credibility to the story about Ben’s moods and his insecurity.

      • Juju says:

        That’s the quote I’ve been thinking of as well… it sounds like the moodiness has a long history even with other wives.

    • 80sMercedes says:

      She’s named after her great aunt – the family uses Kick as a nickname for Kathleen. That’s not really appropriation, that’s familial continuity.

    • Susie Q says:

      I believe her given name is Kick, which her father obviously chose in honor of his late Aunt. So blame her for other stuff, but not that.

      • Booboochile says:

        Yes, she’s obviously weird but she can’t help a nickname given to her… I have been side eyeing people latching on something she can’t help. Yell at her for being terrible fine…but in jeso name abeg… it’s a nickname.

    • AprilUnderwater says:

      I’m intrigued – can someone link this uninformed Australian a primer on this kick ass great aunt?

      • twoz says:

        From another Australian: Wikipedia has a good summary, and the late Deborah Devonshire also writes about her in her autobiography “Wait for me!”
        Any others, Brits and Us folks?

      • julie jules says:

        @AprilUnderwater The great aunt was JFK’s sister, Kathleen. She died young in a plane crash in Europe. Supposedly she was loads of fun. Her parent’s disowned for marrying a Protestant.

    • julie jules says:

      Whether it was a good idea by her parents or not, Kick didn’t name herself. I mean isn’t Kathleen her given name? And hasn’t Kick been her nickname since childhood?

  2. Serena says:

    Jlo could be a delusional narcissist but Ben just sucks.

    • fishface says:

      Agreed. He always looks like he has a big sulk on. I find him an annoying manchild.

      • Brassy Rebel says:

        His mood swings must go from very unhappy to very, very unhappy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile, at least not recently.

    • goofpuff says:

      He is a full on addict. They can be extremely difficult to live with no matter how much you love them. Ben has the money and the means to get whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and never has to be held accountable.

      Its very telling that JLo has a good relationship with Jennifer Garner and her stepchildren.

      • GrnieWnie says:

        Came here to say the same thing. As someone in Al-Anon, with plenty of experience with addicts, that’s what he is inside and out. Mood swings, the emotional instability, the turnover in his relationships…very recognizable.

    • tealily says:

      If Jen is a delusional narcissist, it’s because she thought this would work.

  3. Arizona says:

    I would love if these people on their fifties would stop briefing the press and do some internal work as to why they have two failed marriages and two failed engagements, and four failed marriages and two failed engagements, respectively.

    I do think the part of this that’s focusing on Ben sharing his mood with the press, and that being a big problem, is interesting, but not for the ways the source is insinuating.

    • goofpuff says:

      I don’t blame JLo’s team for briefing the press. They had to do something after all Ben’s team started blaming her for their breakup or their relationship woes. I’m glad she’s pushing back on Ben’s PR narratives about her.

      They both aren’t perfect, but the blaming the woman narrative has to stop.

    • StillDouchesOfCambridge says:

      I’m not blaming Jlo. She comes in every relationship with the best loving intentions. You’re in that 50/50 risk of divorce or separation every time you get in a relationship – how can it be her fault? I’m reading that Ben is truly great when he’s in a good mood, and really really really bad when he’s off the wagon. And it’s impossible for others to live with him around like that. That would explains why he left for a rental. Im reading that the dude has some serious mental health problems and needs serious help. JGa knows that, that’s why she’s still around helping him. I hope he gets help. And I hope Jen gets to live the great love that she desires. Just not with Arod, Casper or Drake please.

  4. JennyJazzhands says:

    They both seem so terrible, I guess it will come down to who tells the better, most convincing breakup story.
    In their next relationship (prayerfully not with each other again), I hope they date privately for a long time and wait until they are absolutely sure before moving and blending families/kids again. Or wait until their kids are old enough to have their own spaces to do this again. Dragging your kids through “step-parents” on whim relationships is crazy.
    These two literally, had no growth, made no changes and thought it would be different…

    • ZoeW says:

      This^^^ also it’s a statement that’s probably from her camp that’s negative about him. No one actually knows the real truth! They both seem egomaniacs.

    • Carolnr says:

      @JENNYJAZZHANDS
      That’s it! JL needs to write another book telling her side of the divorce.
      But thinking maybe they both signed NDA’s..

  5. Elena says:

    I’m far from thinking JLo is an innocent saint, but various women he’s been with over the years have talked about his mood swings in different ways. And we’ve all seen him throughout the years, too, I don’t find it hard to believe.
    And yes, she’s going in hard, but she has a right to get her side out there, just like he has (she was threatening his sobriety, she was surrounded by too many people, it was a circus, she’s not private enough) and I’m sure there will be more to come from his camp. I vividly remember the aftermath of their first break up even if I was young, she was almost demonized. It was gross, bad and sad.
    And it’s very, very sad now. That it had to end this way, that it’s come to this. I don’t really think there’s an actual monster here, there’s also no hero, just messy people who wanted to believe they could make it work and it didn’t. Sad for the kids, too. I don’t think he doesn’t want to see them or that she would stop it. But I think her kids, who are now 16, do see on their own what their mom is going through and are naturally sticking by her side. They also see how Ben was all over her and always with them at the beginning and the stark contrast with now. Again, sad.

    • lisa says:

      Weird coincidental story about Kick and Marc Anthony (from Town & Country magazine, 2012): “One of Kick’s favorite stories about her grandmother involves a different singer: J. Lo ex Marc Anthony. “She used to make us listen to his song ‘I Need to Know,'” Kick recalls. “She loved this song so much — it was her jam.” One day Marc Anthony called up and said he would like to come over for dinner, so Ethel invited everyone over for a big night. “We’re all dressed up waiting for Marc Anthony, and my grandmother is blasting the song,” says Kick, “and this old white-haired guy shows up with his wife and sits down at the dinner table.” Finally one of the Kennedys introduced himself. “The guy was like, ‘Hi, my name is Mark. Mark Anthony.’ My grandmother had sat next to him on an airplane years before and had no recollection of meeting him, and this was the guy who had called. Of course, half the dinner table starts cracking up, and everyone else is in the laundry room just hysterically laughing.”

  6. Lolo86lf says:

    I am team Jennifer. That doesn’t mean I don’t have compassion for Ben. I have no doubt in my mind Jennifer tried to help him overcome his demons to no avail. Ben needs extensive psychological treatment and he needs AA and GA for sure.

  7. Kate says:

    So what he hasn’t spoken to her kids? They only knew each other for what? 2 years? He’s not their dad and he didn’t raise them 🤷‍♀️

    • Barbie1 says:

      People with normal emotions would develop an attachment to kids they have known for two years and want to stay in contact to make sure they are ok. Not throw them away like trash once the relationship is over.

      • Steph says:

        Agree @barbie1. You get attached to kids just bc they are kids. It’s party of our biology. There’s also the fact that Ben’s kids are close to Emme and Max. Are the twins going to be able to hang with his kids the way Violet got to come to the Hamptons this summer? I bet JG would help facilitate that but it’s sad that Ben won’t.

      • Jan says:

        Ask ARod’s kids about that, notice they were not mentioned, and she was a part of their lives longer.

      • Marietta2381 says:

        Tell that to my Mom’s boyfriend of 3 years (whom we lived with). His kids and my sister and I were all attached at the hip. When my Mom dumped him, we never saw his kids or him again. Just because it would be nice to think that doesn’t happen, doesn’t mean the person isn’t a good person, he was a good person, but he was hurt so it’s understandable now when I look back at that time in my life. I definitely was sad but it was also a busy time in my life, as most kids are busy with school and extra curricular activities/friends. Pretty sure it’s not as big as you’re making it out to be. They are not scarred for life or anything. Ben didn’t abandon them, Marc Anthony did (?) *I will say I have no idea if MA pays any attention to them or not??

      • Lauren says:

        Sadly, it seems Ben has discarded J-Lo and her children.
        Do you remember when he had someone throw a cardboard cutout of Ana in the garbage outside his house?
        Ben discards Jen G and ices her out too, then reels her back in when she is useful to him and boost his image as a family man.

    • Meg says:

      @kate
      Wow, no consideration for abandonment issues for kids in their formative years?

      • Marietta2381 says:

        Uh, no. If they want to blame someone they can blame Marc Anthony, their father. Ben is not their father.

      • tealily says:

        Ben is their stepfather!

      • Anonymous says:

        I think he had made up his mind about the mariage before he left the house.
        He already knew it was over when he took the rental. He’s been waiting for her to accept it since. I hope he was honest with her in private, but my take is that he didn’t want to get involve in anything that could give her hope during the summer. Therefore, no kids visitation, no birthday party, nothing.

    • tealily says:

      Not just knew, but coparented. Like, signed up to be their stepdad.

      They’re probably better off without him anyway. He’s a piece of work.

      • Isabella says:

        I don’t buy that he’s a great dad. Addicts are very difficult people. I think he tries, but addicts scar their children. He has a dark side that the kids see. One minute great, the next minute scary, speaking from experience. The whole family could be in Al Anon

  8. Anonymous says:

    I don’t feel like there was a “larger incident in the spring” in the same way it seems CB is implying. But if you look at the Grammy award video when she tells him to sit up straight it was the first week of February 2023. Then the “Mother” premiere where she is irritated on the red carpet was the first week of May 2023. The “car-door slam” video was Mary 2023. The release of The Greatest Love Story Never Told was February 2024—that seems like more of the time stamp on the events resulting in their separation listed being in April.

    • EyezSee says:

      @Anonymous. I agree. News timeline for Sean P Diddy allegations were noted in LA times March 26, 2024 Updated I think that this is the event that started the situation.
      A string of recent sexual assault allegations against Sean “Diddy” Combs, the billionaire music mogul and entrepreneur, have damaged the legacy of the man once revered as hip-hop royalty. On 3-24-24 Mon. evening, federal agents from Homeland Security raided Combs’ Los Angeles and Miami homes as part of a sweeping sex trafficking inquiry. I still wonder if this what initially set off Affleck.

  9. Renee says:

    Jennifer was briefing but nice, semi diplomatic things till Ben’s team said he gave up on marriage because he is introverted and media shy. That’s clearly not true. And gloves came off after that. I get why? Ben has historically blamed the women and never takes responsibility even the tiniest bit. On top of that he somehow fed the idea that he was close to her kids. He isn’t. I kept saying here that her kids are close to his kids and they actually get along very well with JLo and Ben couldn’t care less. Those kids schedule is managed by Jen Garner anyway. I am glad JLo is fighting back the narrative. She has no reason to play nice anymore.

    • Sunshile says:

      No, Ben was actually close to Emme, jlo’s own sources said so at the time, and they were seen multiple times hanging out just the two of them

    • Aurora says:

      This. I’ll never forget Ben telling Howard Stern that Jennifer Garner was “part” of reason he drank.

      “It’s part of why I started drinking, because I was trapped.”

      Now he’s suggesting JLo threatened his sobriety? Yeah, I’d strike back if someone lobbed that accusation at me, too.

      • Chaine says:

        That’s what addicts who are not in recovery do. They are always looking for someone or something else to blame for their addictions, and it often the spouse or romantic partner that they blame, even when that person was bending over backward to support them emotionally, financially, etc. My ex repeatedly to my face told me that I was driving him to use. He would tell his friends and family that he was depressed that I did not trust him, and that I was too controlling because I felt suspicious that he was not really going to his twelve step meetings. Little did I know for months that part of the reason he was able to buy drugs while unemployed was that he was writing bad checks in my name and stealing money from me, for which by the way, he framed his best friend and had me file a police report and tell the bank fraud investigators that this other guy had done it.

      • ravensdaughter says:

        Whoa, I was absolutely going to weigh in with Team Ben, as I felt that the disclosure about his moods from a “source”, which implied serious mental health issues, was inappropriate.

        But, he blamed his drinking on Jennifer Garner. What!? I don’t know when this interview aired with Stern, but after all Jen G. did for him, he still didn’t have the decency to keep that particular bit of speculation about why he drank to himself. I am flabbergasted.

        Ok, so like J.Lo., I’m done with Ben, too. He also needs to leave ex-wife #1 alone, so she can patch up her relationship with her significant other.

        He wanted time to himself, so now he can have it!

  10. Eleonor says:

    I said months ago that probably he relapsed in his old habits, unfortunately he is an addict.

  11. Whatnow says:

    They talk about these highs and Lows the mood swings. If I didn’t know better it sounds like they’re describing bipolar disorder and people have been known to self-medicate with drinking….. Just saying

  12. Purplehazeforever says:

    It’s sad that I know all too well what Ben Affleck is like without ever meeting him. Ben’s dad was an active alcoholic when he was a kid who left the family when he was 11. That sucks ..that does so much damage to a kid & it takes years of therapy to undo. Something Affleck hasn’t done. If he had, his patterns would change. Sure he might ( and that’s a maybe) be sober & doing the work staying sober but what about what’s underneath that? Until he does that, nothing will change.

  13. Mel says:

    Mature, functioning adults do not release break up “stories/reasons” to the press. I’m tired of both of them. Go away.

  14. Dally says:

    Serious question: is a Hollywood divorce happening if there aren’t daily stories planted by each side. This is tiresome. And they both need to stop. It is becoming really obvious why this union didn’t work out. Neither of them can shut up or go quietly or not get the last word.

    • Lens says:

      I’m sure their arguments were just like this. Around and around and on and on and ever ending because they both insist on having the last word. They both are incredibly immature and stuck at the age they got famous at (25? That seems insulting to 25 year olds I know).

  15. Ladiabla says:

    I don’t doubt that he has wild mood swings; he’s an addict and has been one for a long time. I do believe that Jennifer despite her faults is a good mom and will stay in touch and be there for Ben’s kids as much as they want her to.

  16. rpac says:

    “He’s just a complicated guy. I always say, ‘When his sun shines on you, you feel it.’ But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it’s cold. He can cast quite a shadow.”” – Jen Garner for Vanity Fair, 2016

  17. Whatnow says:

    @noo Yes she has stolen from Jen Garner post divorce interview. I’m petty enough to believe JLo thought it wouldn’t happen to her because she was the love of his life not Jen Garner. I believe JLo thought the sun would shine forever on her because again she was the love of his life not JGarner. It tells me that JLo chose to ignore all that occurred in his relationship after her and arrogantly believed she was the one and he never do it to her.

    • Noo says:

      @whatnow 100% but now that it has happened to her, she is leveraging Jen Garner’s experience in her own victim story. Super tacky IMO. Jen Garner always comes out as very classy in her dealings with Ben and everyone involved with him.

      For two people who are ridiculously wealthy + apparently have a lot of entangled business interests +have no prenup this heavy-handed PR warfare certainly signaling to become very very messy legally.

      • Isabella says:

        They were married to same man. He hasn’t changed. Of course their stories would match.

  18. Chickadee says:

    I wonder if JLO is a Swiftie because “loml” from Tortured Poets describes their relationship to a T. It’s actually quite startling, prescient, and eerie how much it mirrors their relationship: a guy (described as a “cinephile”) who lovebombs his way back into a relationship and then leaves (“You told me I’m the love of your life . . . About a million times” and tells her “I’ll never leave,” but then “Nevermind”). I could literally cite almost every lyric in the song as how it details their relationship (“it was legendary” and “should have let it stay buried”) it’s that close. Even if you’re not a fan, it’s worth a listen just for the parallels.

  19. Sasha says:

    I remember that earlier this summer or right after the Met Gala when the rumors started to swirl, Affleck was photographed with visible injuries to his hands. I wondered then if he had punched a wall or something. This “darkness” they’re alluding to here made me recall those photos…. I can’t find the pics now, maybe they were on Backgrid…?

    • Sasha says:

      In later photos where they zoomed in on his hands to show if he was wearing his wedding ring or not, you can see where there are scabs and the hands/arms are healing. But at the time, the hands looked really messed up, red, purple, and swollen.

    • Sunshile says:

      Ben was filming an action’s movie for months, The accountant. It’s why he had injuries

  20. TurbanMa says:

    I’m just here waiting for his jump off to be unveiled. There’s no way he went back wooed her and then married her and now is just done without their being another (much younger) woman at play. That’s my opinion. He’s got a hookup that he thinks is the one…

  21. Wendy says:

    I believe some of the JLO narratives. I think he may have cheated and may be drinking again behind closed doors. I think Ben is a moody mutha f…..ker. You can tell by all the times he was out with her and always scowling. I think he embarrassed her and she is heartbroken. He did sleep with the nanny and had her wear his wifes’s clothes when she was away. He needs to be by himself. Good for Jennifer for getting outta there!

  22. Azblue says:

    Ben is always like this. Whenever he gets out of a stable relationship, his rebound is a bit of a party girl — indicating that he’s fallen off the wagon.

    Post Jennifer Garner, he was photographed with the nanny and the Super Bowl rings and Lindsay Shookus. Now his rebound after JLo is another party girl. He just can’t keep it together and blames his exes for everything.

  23. julie jules says:

    honestly they both seem like difficult, tiring people. Fun for a weekend in Vegas but no more.

    What’s taking Ben’s people so long to fire back???

  24. Hello Kitty says:

    My dad was an alcoholic. He was so hateful, putrid, and mean when he was sober that I almost wanted him to have a couple drinks so he was tolerable to be around. I dont really mean that, but Im making a point about how bad his mood swings were. looking back, i wonder if he had a personality disorder. anyway, if ben is anything like my dad was, i dont blame JLo at all. plus, he publicly love bombed her BOTH times, both in 2004 and in 2021, while she was in a relationship. she is a trophy to him, nothing more.