I admit, I did not think Pamela Anderson was going to be around for the awards circuit with The Last Showgirl after the Golden Globes. But boy have I been proven wrong, in the best way possible! (Full disclosure: I haven’t seen the movie yet, but am hoping to this weekend. Perhaps when I have a gaping hole in my schedule on Monday the 20th at 12pm ET). Still, I’m happy to root for Pam based on the soulful journey she’s been on and shared with us the last few years. While it might appear on the surface that Pam has done a rebrand — going from the buxom, painted-for-the-gods bombshell of the 90s to a makeup-free, meditating, gardening, growing-her-own-vegetables free spirit today (and still a bombshell!) — by Pam’s account, it’s all been about returning to who she’s always been. In a new interview with USA Today, Pam described having to “remember who I was” before Hollywood ascribed a certain type to her:

On why she ‘peeled it all back’: I’ve learned that you have to believe in yourself before other people believe in you. I started to believe what other people thought and that’s why I peeled it all back: I wanted to remember who I was when I wasn’t dressing for other people. I wanted to stop playing characters in my personal life, and to start playing them on film or on stage. It’s interesting, at this age, to feel like I’m at the very beginning of my career.

What she connected to in her Last Showgirl role: You can go to therapy or talk to your best friend all day long, but there’s nothing like an art project to heal parts of yourself. I just had so much empathy for the character; there’s no perfect way to be a parent, you know? The mother-daughter story really resonated with me, having two adult sons now and apologizing (to them). Your kids are going through what you’re going through, and in the moment, we don’t realize that. So I’ve been able to have those conversations with my boys and we’re so close. Having their mother objectified was always a difficult thing, so I’ve really made an effort to talk about feelings with my sons.

More on her sons: I’m a very lucky mom, but I’ve always felt a little guilty that they feel so protective of me. I wish our family survived intact; I’ve never gotten over it, and that’s something I’ve carried with me. Even now, my relationship is my work. I have two grown, beautiful kids who say, “Mom, all we want for you is to be you and realize your potential.” And that’s exactly how I feel for them. I don’t want to take up too much of their brain power. I want them to live their own lives: full of ups and downs, mistakes, and whatever they’re going to do in their careers, and not to worry about Mom.

She did it her way: Well, I definitely did it my own way; I took an unorthodox route to get here. I did endure some times where however I handled it was probably not the best way. But I feel very fortunate to be in this position now, it could have just as easily slipped through my fingers. You just have to recognize the moment you’re being handed. You have to get quiet and wait for what’s coming around the corner. And then when the opportunity comes, you grab it.

Vanity is a prison, and she’s free now! Vanity is a prison. This has been such a free time for me to walk around as I am. No one’s falling over backward going, “Oh, no, I can’t look at that! She’s not wearing any makeup!” Nobody cares! We all care so much about ourselves — we’re our own worst critics, for sure.

[From USA Today]

The full interview is really charming. Elsewhere Pam talks about reciting Shakespeare sonnets as a kid while her father watched TV, reading heavy Tennessee Williams and Eugene O’Neill plays during her Baywatch and Playboy cover days, and visiting a tree she “adopted” in NYC’s Central Park in honor of her sons. And speaking of, I found the sections about her relationship with her sons the most moving. She’s clearly raised emotionally intelligent boys (their shock at their mother attending Paris Fashion Week sans glam team notwithstanding, lol), and it sounds like the three of them are very close. And though she’s mainly makeup-free these days, I think she looks more glowing than ever. The comment that she feels like she’s at the beginning of her career had me choked up, too. It’s never too late! I also found this line super intriguing: “You have to get quiet and wait for what’s coming around the corner.” What’s the difference between getting quiet and… just not doing anything? Tell us, Pamela! (Asking for a friend.)

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Embed from Getty Images

photos credit: Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon, Al Seib/Avalon, Avalon.red Getty