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Donald Trump is such a smooth operator, such a master at public relations. Sure, he bigly f–ked up with his tariffs, angering everyone from our stalwart trade allies to Antarctic penguins who were minding their own business, eventually causing him to pause his self-created insanity less than a day in. But he came up with a brilliant pivot to deflect and detract from all the bad press: talk about his hair while signing an executive order to make showers great again! No really, reporters were invited into the Oval on Wednesday and forced to listen to Trump wax poetic about the great love of his life, his hair. The past decade has been a real struggle for those wisps, as water conservation regulations were enacted that capped a shower’s water flow at 2 gallons per minute, and that’s simply not enough to help those baby fists scrub in a good shampoo! Sarcasm aside, I’m starting to think this may be the first action he’s taken this term that the man actually gives a damn about.
President Donald Trump signed a new executive order Wednesday in pursuit of a familiar and elusive goal: “Undoing the left’s war on water pressure.”
The President on Wednesday directed Energy Secretary Chris Wright to roll back Obama- and Biden-era rules limiting pressure in shower heads. In particular, he railed against efficiency standards getting in the way of grooming his iconic coiffure.
“In my case I like to take a nice shower, to take care of my beautiful hair,” Trump told reporters while signing the order in the Oval Office on Wednesday. “I have to stand under the shower for 15 minutes till it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It’s ridiculous.”
In a fact sheet that accompanied the executive order announcement, the White House framed the new order as a push by Trump to undo overregulation that “chokes the American economy, entrenches bureaucrats and stifles personal freedom.”
But the president has long gone after policies that aim to conserve water in the bathroom.
“My hair, I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect, perfect,” he said outside the White House in 2020.
In August 2020, the energy department embarked on a rule change that would allow individual shower nozzles, but not an entire shower head, to emit up to 2.5 gallons of water a minute. The Biden administration announced plans to reverse that rule in July 2021.
As the White House fact sheet put it, “the shower wars continued.”
“I take a shower, I want that beautiful head of hair to be just lathered,” Trump said at a Turning Point Action event in Detroit in June 2024. “I want it to be lathered beautifully. And I get this best stuff you can buy and I dump it all over. And then I turn on the water and the damn water drips out. I can’t get the stuff out of my hair. It’s a horrible thing.”
Well that settles what my dreams will be haunted with for the next few years: the unwanted imagery of the big buffoon taking a shower. Another crime against humanity to add to the list… Just going off of Trump’s words, the only big takeaway I got from this was a confession that Mar-a-Lago has crappy plumbing. So I looked up the climate-forward measures at issue and why Trump would be in such a lather about them. The crux seems to be whether the 2.5-gallon rate applies to each water-spewing apparatus, or to all the nozzles/sprays/rain shower heads in a single bathing unit combined. Trump wants the former, counting per nozzle (thus using more water), whereas his democratic predecessors favor the latter (obviously conserving water). So the stifled personal freedom Trump’s EO mentions, refers to a bather’s right to waste use more water and pay more money for it, cause this is ‘Murica! He can’t get it through his thick mane that efficiency standards cut utility bills. And even putting that point aside, experts say that bad/old plumbing or too much limescale on shower heads are more likely culprits for weak water pressure than flow rate regulations.
In 2019 he also complained that “people are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once” because the water pressure was so weak.
I’d only like a toilet powerful enough to flush him.
Nah we need a rocket powerful enough to yeet him straight into the Sun. Maybe he can ask Musk if he can build one for the two of them.
He hasn’t washed his own ass in years and most his hair doesn’t reside permanently on his bald head. But. The diehard evangelical magats are really, really, really stupid and these sorts of stunts appeal to them because they lack the innate intelligence to understand the importance of conservation/think he is “owning the libs”. When their utility bills increase and water shortages happen because of this bs, it will somehow still be the democrats fault somehow because they can’t be held accountable for their bad choices. The evangelicals aren’t super smart. When they control everything they still have to whine and troll because they always see themselves as victims who won’t go to heaven until they totally destroy the world.
I keep thinking that once we’re in a deep recession these stunts will hit differently but probably not.
He really likes that clipboard, doesn’t he?
“and that’s simply not enough to help those baby fists scrub in a good shampoo!”
LOL
I mean, each state can still maintain their own standard right? I doubt, for instance, Arizona is going to go along with this.
Unless you’re standing under a kinked garden hose, no one is unable to wash their hair. This is one of 10,000,000 things that I don’t understand about MAGA people…NONE of their showers “drip drip drip”…none of them. SO WHY are they all like…”Despite my very wet head, I agree that my shower isn’t working”. NONE of them have to flush 15 times. That’s not a thing….SO WHY say, “Yep, despite my never having to flush 15 times, I agree that’s happening”. It’s the height of insanity.
Ah yes The Golden Age of Showers. Right up his alley
I see what you did there 😉
Me too… have you seen the pic “How tariffs work? where he’s peeing against a fan?
My god, this is all so stupid. I remember a Seinfeld episode that centered around bad water pressure in their building, which I assumed might be a commonality in large, multi-floor apartment buildings. That’s more than likely trump’s issue. I cannot believe all the the showers in his various buildings have such crappy water pressure. I don’t have such an issue, and I live in an old building (1977) on the 9th floor.
Hmm, so I wondered about this & googled it. In Hawaii, the max flow rate is 1.8 GPM (gallons per minute); among the 50 states, they vary from 1.8-2.5 GPM. Truly, this is not a problem. These people just hate regulations. They’ll go after these small ones (which actually have larger consequences), and then go after the really big ones.
I moved recently, and my new showerhead has the worst water pressure. I’ve already Googled how to fix it, and all I have to do is remove an insert meant to conserve water. Do you know why I haven’t? I have to pay for the water I use!
You can keep your old toilet, showerhead, or lightbulbs because they are “better” than the new stuff, but they also cost a hell of a lot more to operate.
Also, if you keep clogging your new toilet, you must change your diet or toilet paper. I’m sorry if this hurts someone’s feelings.
These are true facts, according to statistics from the CDC and US Census Bureau: the states with the longest lives are blue, the shortest lives are red. States with highest incomes are blue, lowest incomes are red. Highest educational attainment are blue, lowest are red . Most health care providers per capita are blue, fewest are red. Lowest infant mortality are blue, highest are red. Lowest rates of poverty are in blue states, highest poverty are red.
And that’s true even adjusted for race (for example, white and black people in Hawaii live longer than white and black people in Kentucky).
Yet republican states stay red. I’ve come to the conclusion that republicans are SOLELY motivated by hate (for immigrants, women, lgbtq, etc) that they will willingly vite against their own interests just to get the emotional satisfaction of seeing the people they hate being targeted.
I mean, MAGAs can’t really want their kids to have shorter lives, or have to drink polluted water? Yet that’s what they vote for. This is Darwinism. When people think democrats can “take back the House” at the next election, I tell them no we can’t. Because you can’t win against Darwinism.
This presidency is a pathetic vaudeville act with hellish real life ramifications.
Well put, Gabby. Sigh.