A moment that lives rent-free in my head is Jimmy Kimmel closing the 2024 Oscars: after reading aloud a scathing review from Trump of Kimmel’s hosting, Jimmy effortlessly quipped, “Isn’t it past your jail time?” Obviously, it lands differently now (i.e., more painfully), but it really was a flawless delivery at the time. Jimmy excels at getting under Trump’s thin, fried skin, simply by telling the truth about the idiotic man. Even with that Oscars burn, Trump was a crybaby about it months later. Turns out, Jimmy actually appreciates Trump’s public admissions of irkitude with the late night host, because it’s immediate, positive feedback that Jimmy is doing his job well. Indeed he is. Rolling Stone just interviewed Jimmy where he talked about Trump, comedy genes, and the clarinet:
How he chose to learn clarinet as a kid: Well, I didn’t choose it. It chose me. And I don’t say that the way Jimi Hendrix might say it. I say it the way Jimmy Kimmel would say it, which is, I thought it was a trombone. I wanted to play the trombone, and thought a trombone when I was 11 years old was called a clarinet. So I signed up for clarinet class, and I got to the class, and some kids had their instruments. I told the band teacher, “I’m in the wrong class. I’m supposed to be in the clarinet class.” And he said, “This is the clarinet class.” I said, “No, clarinet.” I did the trombone motion with my hand. And I remember him laughing so hard. He goes, “No, that’s a trombone.” And I said, “Oh.” And he said, “We’ll rearrange your schedule.” And I was like, “OK.” And I went home and my mom had bought me a clarinet, and my parents never bought anything. And I didn’t know you could return things. So I felt too guilty to say, “No, I wanted to play the trombone.” So I just said, “I won’t change the schedule, and I’ll play the clarinet.” And here we are.
His reaction to Trump calling ABC to have him fired: I think it’s funny. I like when he admits I’m bothering him. Here at the show, where we put a lot of work into lampooning him, for him to acknowledge our work is one of the few things he does that I appreciate. If he ignored us, it wouldn’t be as much fun.
Funny runs in the family: I remember my mom would scare my dad in the shower. She’d scare him and laugh really hard at it. My mom used to pretend she was dead. She’d lay on the ground, pretend she was dead until we cried. And then I found out my Aunt Chippy would do it too! And then my grandfather told me his mother would do it to him. And I was like, “Look at this. This is a deep sickness. It deserves a psychological examination.”
Fooling Cousin Micki: Micki is great. Because she will believe anything. She’s trusting. I once told her that there’s a place called Ice Cream Town and it’s got all these different stores. And you go to one store, it’s the scoop-of-vanilla-ice-cream store. And then you can go across the street to the other store if you want chocolate syrup. And then there’s the cherry store. And she’s like, “Oh, my God, this sounds great.” Meanwhile, if you really think about it, realistically, it’s a huge pain in the ass.
He’s a prankster at home, too: This weekend we’re putting up signs in our neighborhood that say “We’ve lost our chimpanzee,” and warning people not to get too close to it, but if you see it, call us. We’re going to put them up on the telephone poles in the neighborhood. And I got a burner phone number, so if people call they’ll get a response.
You guys, that whole spiel about how he ended up with the clarinet is a masterpiece. It had me in pieces. Acting students should give Chekhov a rest and work on this monologue for a change! I’ll be honest, even as an adult I’m not completely certain I could pull a clarinet out of a lineup, I’d probably mix it up with another reed. But I can confidently say that as a kid, I knew what a trombone was! And what a little imp he is with his family, even as an adult! I have to say, I recognized the dynamic — like Jimmy, my father would often tee up a gag for my mother, who, like Cousin Micki, was always all-too-willing to believe a yarn. Once we were driving through the Richmond District of San Francisco, passing Cabrillo, Balboa, Anza Streets, etc. My father started up, “Did you see the news?” My mother replied, “No, what?” “They were doing an archaeology dig around here and found some dinosaur bones.” “What?! That’s amazing!” And then he moved in for the punchline: “Yeah… so they’re gonna rename the street BONE-anza!”
If you marry a wisecracker, you’ll always be on your toes.
Photos credit: MediaPunch/INSTARimages and Getty
When I was three, I thought the word for scooter was scales, so I begged my parents to get me the scales and I got these little pink weighing scales. Imagine the disappointment.
I love his monologue so much! Hope one day he and his team have to go back to talking about ordinary things because we no longer have all these problems with fascism and the fall of democracy and society as we know it.
From your mouth to the gods’ ears @Luna. Kimmel and Meyers are the only late night monologues I watch, and their wit and humour is just about making this waking nightmare bearable!
I love how he rags on the former guy. Seth is great too! And Colbert! Fallon is a little obsequious for my taste sometimes, but I know that show is a different vibe. I’m sticking with the ones who nail the orange person. He has evolved over the years, hasn’t he?