CB and I thought this might be fun this year – an open post for the Oscar red carpet. I’m going to be following E! News’ red carpet show, which starts with Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic at 6 p.m. EST. Now, under almost any other circumstance, I try to avoid any contact with the demon known as La Seacrest, but I have to hand it to E! – they consistently have the best red carpet show, in my opinion. Let’s try not to get nauseous as we watch La Seacrest fall all over the men and completely ignore all of the actresses.
First, a word about E!’s Oscar pre-pre-show. I love how consistently budget E! is year after year. Nothing beats the second-tier E! reporters fawning all over random hair stylists, jewelers and stylists. What kills me is that many of the E! people are so much better at interviews and enthusiasm than La Seacrest. This year’s day-long show was pretty good though – lots of Giuliana, who I enjoy. And they did a lot of fashion, and not just the budget stuff. Hurray! Sigh…anyway, here we go:
5:55 – Giuliana looks really pretty doesn’t she? Remember when her styling was totally crap? Oh, she’s about to change into another look for the red carpet. Too bad.
5:59 – GAH! Seacrest. If he sucks too hard, I’m going to put it back on the NCIS marathon.
6:02 – Sam Worthington looks sexy, but why wouldn’t you shave for the damn Oscars? I kind of think he’s dumb as a rock.
6:04 – Zac Efron. Brush your hair, kid.
6:08 – Giuliana’s dress change is good. Stop showing old dresses! Blah, blah, let me see Anna Kendrick! Okay, there she is! Nice dress, wrong color. It washes her out.
6:10 – Mo’Nique looks good, but I wish she didn’t have weeds in her hair.
6:12 – OMG! Zoe Saldana is wearing a series of bathmats!
6:14 – Mariah looks pretty, nice color.
6:17 – Correction: Mariah is drunk off her ass. Stop hiking up your skirt, girl.
6:21 – I caught a glimpse of Amanda Seyfried, she looks washed out too. Note to young startlets: Stop with the beiges, pale silvers, pale roses, et cetera. Try a damn jewel tone.
6:25 – You know Rachel Zoe is Zoe Saldana’s stylist? This is what a nutrient-less diet does to you. Zoe might be the worst dressed woman thus far.
6:27 Nicole Richie – what the hell? Why is she there? Why is dressed like a 50 year old woman circa 1974? Oh, Ryan Reynolds! And James Cameron. Ugh. Oh, Vera Farmiga! Great color, other then that, no comment.
6:30 – Marchesa, I knew it. Totally cheap.
6:35 – No ScarJo. Am I the only one who find Ryan Reynolds totally vanilla?
6:36 – Sigourney looks regal. Ew, Maggie Gyllenhaal. Why are you wearing curtains from IKEA?
6:38 – Jesus. Suzy Amis needs to eat a cookie. Um… is she sick? If she is, I’m very sorry for anything mean I might have written.
6:40 – Maggie is Dries van Noten (sp?). Peter Sarsgaard makes me hot, I don’t care if he has serial killer eyes. TOM FORD! That beautiful bitch. Elizabeth Backs! Meh. It’s not a bad color or anything, it just doesn’t stun me.
6:44 – Tom Ford is fabulous. Christoph Waltz looks nice too.
6:48 – Ha! Tina Fey just went to someone else. She’s like “f-ck Seacrest!”
6:50 – Sandra! Nice, gold, sequinned. Very pretty. I would have done something else with her hair, but she looks very pretty. Diane Kruger looks like the wrath of the chiffon gods.
6:52 – Now, I love Tina Fey. She’s brilliant, she’s funny, and I think she’s very pretty. But she needs someone different to style her, top to bottom. It’s not that she looks bad, it’s that she could look so much better.
6:56 – Carey Mulligan looks pretty. Good dress, a little too “old” for her. But it’s nice. The more I’m seeing Sandra Bullock’s dress, the prettier I think it is. Great detailing on the bodice.
6:58 – Diane Kruger looks like an a-hole. She’s so talented, I don’t get it. Worst. Red. Carpet. Ever.
7:00 – Sandra is so cute! She seems super-nervous too. Poor thing.
7:01 – Ew, Faith Hill! Girl, that’s not a good dress. You’re too old to wear black lace. Yikes. And Tim McGraw got hair plugs, right?
7:06 – Rachel McAdams looks beautiful. Jake G. needs to shave, but he looks sexy. Miley Cyrus needs to stand up straight, and not wear that dress, it’s ten kinds of wrong.
7:13 – Miley… gawd. Is she chewing gum? Oh, Kathryn Bigelow looks lovely. OH MY GOD. Look at Miley’s mom! Jesus, the apple didn’t fall from that inappropriate tree, did it?
7:14 – Sarah Jessica Parker, Jesus. Between the horrible dress and the twitched hair, damn… this is one of the most fug (fugest?) carpets ever.
7:16 – Helen Mirren just made my life by giving Seacrest the StinkEye.
7:17 – Bigelow might be the best dressed woman of the evening. She’s so elegant and pretty.
7:18 – WTF, Charlize? Rose Boobs.
7:25 – Matt Damon looks cute. Is Lucy pregnant again? She looks it. That’s an example of a pale dress working on a darker-skinned girl.
7:27 – Couples! George Clooney looks like he no longer gives a crap about Elisabetta. Clooney looks horrible too. Grandpa needs a haircut. Colin Firth & his wife look great. Best dressed couple of the night.
7:28 – Jennifer Lopez! Diva looks tired.
7:29 – Clooney looks totally over Eli, it’s ridiculous. Queen Latifah looks great.
7:31 – MERYL! She’s looks gorgeous. OMG. LOVE HER.
7:33 – Ten bucks says Lopez’s dress is Marchesa. Totally cheap.
7:38 – Keanu. He’s so pretty. I love him. I don’t even care about his scraggly beard.
7:39 – Kristen Stewart! She looks really pretty. Low-key, but lovely.
7:40 – I love the color of Gaby Sidibe’s dress. Lovely. You can tell she feels really special too in it too.
7:42 – Robert Downey looks good, but I wish he had gone with black tie rather than blue. But I love his grooming. He made the effort, which is always nice.
7:48 – GERARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! F-ck me. I need him. He needs to shave, but I would tear him up.
7:50 – Jason Bateman! He’s so lovely. He looks amazing too.
7:51 – Winslet looks good. Not great, but good. Jeff Bridges looks handsome.
7:53 – WTF is wrong with Miley’s posture? Seriously?
7:58 – Cameron Diaz looks great. I love her dress.
7:59 – Did La Seacrest call Chris Pine “Chris Klein”?
8:02 – Now I’m watching ABC. Penelope’s dress is amazing. Beautiful.
8:05 – Canalis tweaked her nips, right?
8:06 – Holy sh-t, Morgan Freeman is with his granddaughter/girlfriend!!! No, he’s not. He’s with his daughter.
8:13 – J.Lo’s dress is Armani. I owe all of you ten bucks.
8:15 – Matthew Broderick doesn’t give a sh-t about any of this. Poor SJP.
8:18 – I’m signing off from this thread. This was seriously one of the worst red carpets ever. SO SAD.
I liked Guiliana’s first dress better! The second one flatters her figure but it’s too plain. Sam Worthington needs to spit out the gum! That color is awful on Anna Kendrick!
Sam is really short.. not a crime but he is.. and Anna has not done well on the Red Carpet at all.. her dress is ugly..
OK.. I am hoping for IB or Hurt Locker.. please don’t let it be Avatar..
I’m watching the NCIS marathon instead.
I don’t like Nicole Richie’s dress either! It’s awful. Vera’s dress is way too complicated.
Poor Vera Farminga. She looked mortified at her boo boo when she said Katherine Bigelow should win best director.
I agree about Suzy Amis looking way too thin, I thought the same thing. I don’t like Elizabeth Banks’ makeup! Her dress is “just ok for me,” as Randy would say.
-Edit- Diane Kruger’s dress is too frou-frou and your boyfriend, Eli Roth, looks smarmy with slicked back hair. I love Sandra Bullock’s dress!
-Edit 2- You are right about Amanda Seyfried’s dress washing her out.
-Edit- How trashy is Tish Cyrus’ dress! It’s worse than her daughters and that’s really saying something.
Also did Elizabeth Banks change? She’s wearing a blue dress now.
I hate Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress! There are a lot of blah dresses this year.
Another comment from me – I just barely glimpsed Rachel McAdams Dress and I love it! It’s one of the best of the night. And Charlize Theron’s dress is awful! It’s like a bad joke. What the hell with those rose things over her boobs. Did she let Galliano dress her for the Oscars again?
WTF is going on with Canalis? She was swaying and staggering as she walked. I swear to God she looked drunk.
Canalis looked like she was desperate to be acknowledged. Clooney seemed like he was on something.
Clooney was totally wasted so I bet she was too.
Clooney had to be drunk because he is never that happy on a red carpet
I think George had such a let down. Up in the Air was the movie to beat..now it is the movie that everyone has forgotten. The wind went out of his sail and her’s too.. This was supposed to be thier event.. George and the Italian Queen.. but he seems off tonight. and he never acts that way. his hair is way to long and he looks better with it short. Her dress is just so plain and nothing special. Just not a fun night for me.. booring people and booring dresses.. JLo’s dress was too much.. I liked Rachel’s dress..’
kaiser the play by play is great..
Okay, can’t watch the Oscars, but this red carpet just seems to be a parade of bad dresses. What’s up with Charlize Theron? She usually gets it right.
And I know Demi Moore is delusional hot mess, but she looks great. Sugery and all. There’s this pic on imdb where a group of woman (who are presumably her age) are gaping at her with their mouths on the ground. I nearly had that reaction, as well
Tell you what, I will take Ryan over Kathy Ireland, any day.
Beautiful woman but has no business on the red carpet.
It really did seem as if Ryan was coming on to the guys…especially Tom Ford who kinda looked at him like “you know I’m taken right?” I just wish those “E” broadcasters would do a little reasearch before they come onto the carpet.
I just saw a red carpet picture of Clooney holding a silver flask in his hand (you can even see his initials engraved on it). That’s right…. He was drinking right on the red carpet.
Kaiser, you are my favorite. 🙂
You have to post pix of Miley’s mom’s classy back tattoos!
Great job Kaiser. Love it!
Miley looked like she was wearing 80’s shapewear from St. Vincent de Paul’s. Just awful. Even on an adult it would’ve been terrible.
SJP was chewing gum!!
Zoe, who is drop dead gorgeous, blew it with that purple monstrosity. Center slit was a bit much. She’s classier than that!
The main person who confused me with their disregard for the level of style appropriate to the occasion was Molly Ringwold. She looked botoxed out of her skull.
And yay for Meryl in Chris March!!!!
Steve and Alec were fine but the show sucked. Bad direction, productiion, dance numbers, clip reels–it was sad. Made Rob Lowe and Cinderella look dreamy.
argh
I just remembered who Gerald Butler reminds me of… A bit of Ernest Borgnine and a bit of our garbage collector when I was growing up…..
Oh! Except Ernest Borgnine was a good actor…..
What’s this obsession you have with shaving? Men look ok even if not shaved, it does not mean they are dirty.. :))). after all, they don’t work in a bank, they are actors!
Get ready to wave bye bye to Elisabetta, she won’t be hanging around for long!
I’ve always said Seacrest blows, so this is of no shock to me.
I wasn’t able to watch much of the red carpet “event” (my husband cannot stand “vapid Hollywood [profanities deleted] people,” but I did see this much:
George Clooney’s apparent indifference to Elisabetta, which I obviously wasn’t the only one to notice;
Jake Gyllenhaal also needed to get rid of the gum;
I didn’t care for Sandra’s hair, but it’s been pouring rain here, so I understand her choice – loved the dress, though;
WTF was wrong with SJP’s hair?
Just saw Giuliana…is she preggers or did she get her boobs done?
Miley needs to take some ballet classes until she gets good posture drilled into her.
I don’t think I’ve ever said this before, but Charlize looks like sh!t. What is going on with her?
Most boring Oscars ever. Blah. I was embarrassed for Steve Martin and Alex Baldwin- they had all of Hollwood’s best writers to work with and that was all they could come up with?! I bet Hugh Jackman was at home feeling pretty darn good about himself. I thought Clooney and his girlfriend were just plain wierd- he’s got to be having some kind of midlife crisis to be sticking with her. She must be super freaky because she’s not that pretty and she looks like a b*tch.
cannot stand seacrest on the red carpet. he’s so rude to whomever he’s interviewing…always looking past them for the bigger star!!
and what was with clooney & the gth looks during the opening monologue if you could call it that!
alec baldwin & steve martin…yawn.
I HATE RYAN SEACREST EVERYWHERE !!!!!
I wasn´t particularly fond of Bullock´s dress, never thought she could look Bland and she seems tired, sad and totally not in the mood, how unusual of her. She always looks so enthused and happy, and had looked radiant throughout all of the awards season. What happened?
Why didn’t they put Guliana on the Red Carpet? Seacrest was so boring. He failed to ask most of the stars who they were wearing and he completely ignored everyone’s date. Usually G makes the date feel welcome and asks them questions too and she always complements the stars significant other, which I think is classy. And G likes to ask them fun questions like what they did before the Oscars and stuff like that. Don’t keep G up on the roof. And I hope she is pregnant. I know on her reality show on the style network they were waiting for the doctor vist to confirm if she was preggers or not, but I haven’t seen the episode so I don’t know the answer.
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