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Cele|bitchy Archives
- Week of 08/13/2006
- Week of 08/06/2006
- Week of 07/30/2006
- Week of 07/23/2006
- Week of 07/16/2006
- Week of 07/09/2006
- Week of 07/02/2006
- Week of 06/25/2006
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- Week of 05/07/2006
- Week of 04/30/2006
- Week of 04/23/2006
- Week of 04/16/2006
- Week of 04/09/2006
- Week of 04/02/2006
- Week of 03/26/2006
- Week of 03/19/2006
- Week of 03/12/2006
- Week of 03/05/2006
- Week of 02/26/2006
- Week of 02/19/2006


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Celebitchy Archives: Odd
Aug
03
Tom Cruise to buy Neverland? Does Suri just have a birthmark?


The PopBitch e-mail newsletter claims that Tom Cruise is scoping out Neverland ranch and may possibly purchase the freaky estate from heavily in debt Michael Jackson:

There's been lots of talk about the Church of Scientology buying Neverland from Michael Jackson. We're hearing that this story is not quite true. It's even freakier. Scientology champion Tom Cruise is thinking of buying it for himself. He's been flying around the strange theme park to see if it would make a suitable hideaway for him and invisible baby Suri.

Cruise has to know that this would be an incredibly stupid move. It doesn't matter how nice the property, zoo, and amusement park are. It would tie him to weirdo Michael Jackson and the press would have a field day.

The newsletter goes on to say that Suri might just have a big birthmark and that could be the reason why she's been shielded from view:

And talking of Suri - our favourite theory as to why she's never been seen? The baby is rumoured to have a large port-wine stain, which can't be treated until she's three or four months old.

That's possible, and a very clever excuse if Tom's camp made it up. Why has nary a bundle, car seat or covered up little baby been seen though? I don't buy it!

Meanwhile there are preparations underway at the Celebrity Scientology Center for what Pink is the New Blog speculates could be Suri's unvieling or Tom and Katie's wedding.

Rebels-Rebels had these pictures of the chandelier and tents covering the compound, and Mollygood has an eyewitness report that they seem to be gearing up for something.

DListed says that there's a "37th Gala Event" on August 5th though, which just means they're having some sort of Scientology party.

Posted to Babies | Cults | Katie Holmes | Michael Jackson | Odd | Tom Cruise | TomKat | Weddings

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Aug
01
Gwyneth Paltrow is a space cadet with a lot of plastic surgery


One of Gwyneth's co-stars in the London stage production of "Proof" said that she had some bizarre practices backstage.

The 33-year-old [Paltrow] insisted on personal chefs to cook her meals, instigated group hugs and practiced yoga between performances.

Stewart recalls, "Gwyneth is lovely but she is, in the nicest sense, in another world.

"Personal chefs prepared her macrobiotic food but the food was delicious -- even brownies with no chocolate!

"She practiced yoga so she was incredibly flexible. I didn't have to do that but we did have a cast 'group hug' every night. It is so not British, but it was OK."

It sounds pretty normal to do yoga if that's your thing, but a personal chef at a theatre production? I don't know. Couldn't she have her macrobiotic meals delivered?

Group hugs are kind of strange, but not damning. I usually look at the crap Gwyneth says to call her pretentious. Reader Millie has a friend who is an acquaintance of Paltrow's and says she's really nice, though.

WWTDD really dislikes Gwyneth, and is quick to point out that she has no higher-level education and got her early work from family friends:

Keep in mind that she has no education. She went to three different spoiled hippie high schools and then quit during her first semester in college. All her early roles were given to her by family friends (think Spielberg and 'Hook'). Her biggest accomplishment was being born rich and connected.

And Oh No They Didn't shows before and after pictures of Gwynnie's face that make it clear that she's had rhinoplasty and eye work. She had a good surgeon, I can say that for her.

Posted to Arrogant | Gwyneth Paltrow | Odd | Photos | Plastic Surgery

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Jul
24
David Hasselhoff to star in a musical about his life


This sounds like fake news because it's just too good to be true, but David Hasselhoff has embraced his campy image and is going to star in a musical based on his life!

First of all, we are NOT making this up. David Hasselhoff – star of Knight Rider, Baywatch and the new hit variety show America’s Got Talent told us today that he is heading to Australia to appear in a stage production based on his life.

David Hasselhoff: The Musical will include sets inspired by The Young and The Restless, Knight Rider and the songs of Teddy Pendergrass. “I am also doing a heart-rendering set on my life and the mistakes I have made,” the star says. “It sounds like a bad joke, but it is really going to be a good show…totally campy. It’s written by the same people who wrote Bette Midler’s show and produced by the people who produced Chicago in London.”

The production - which features dancers from both Chicago and Jeckyl & Hyde - will open in Melbourne (date to be determined) before hopefully coming to America. “If it ends up in Vegas, how great would that be?” he says. “I want to entertain people. Sammy Davis (Jr.) was my hero.” Hasselhoff, 54, will also release his autobiography, Making Waves, on September 10.

Hasselhoff is definitely not afraid to make fun of himself, as evidenced by his appearance in the Spongebob Movie:

And here's his "Hooked on a Feeling" video, which you've probably already seen since it's clocked hundreds of thousands of views on YouTube. I was laughing my ass off watching this movie. Try not to be amused:

That's awesome that Hasselhoff is going to make a musical - it sounds like a parody from "The Simpsons" (Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius!)

Good on 'ya David Hasselhoff, the aussies are going to love your work.

Posted to David Hasselhoff | Odd | Video

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Jun
13
Trudie Styler shows her son's birth video at his 21st birthday party!


Sting's wife, Trudie Styler, was at her son's 21st birthday party at an exclusive nightclub in London, and had the brilliant idea to pop in the graphic video of her giving birth to him:

While many of us celebrated our 21st birthday with alcohol, Sting's wife Trudie Styler, 51, had a different idea for her son Jake Sumner - she showed everyone at his party a video of his birth, according to a published report.

Sumner's guests at privileged club 'Drone' in London last week observed as the "gruesome" film played and he was embarrassed, to say the least.

A witness explains, "Everyone was totally shocked and just didn't know where to look when Trudie put the video on. It was very graphic and rather gruesome. Poor Jake turned bright red. It was certainly the most talked about part of the evening."

But his mother claims it was quite the contrary.

She says, "Jake's a film producer now so I thought it would be an idea to show his first film role. Afterwards he groaned, but secretly he was probably quite proud of it all and chuffed we made the effort. I honestly don't think he was that embarrassed. I think it was all quite sweet."

How fucking clueless do you have to be to think it's a good idea to show a birth video at your son's 21st birthday party? That's completely insane and utterly humiliating. What a dumb excuse she gave - he's a film producer. She could have screened some home movies and everyone would have been cooing. Instead she picked the most embarassing subject behind showing the conception video. Way to ruin your son's party.

No wonder Sting is addicted to strippers - his wife is crazy! She may be up to anything in the bedroom, but when you factor in her complete lack of common sense she must quite difficult to tolerate.

Here are Sting and Trudie at the "Louis Vuitton art talks" at the National Gallery in London on 5/25 and in Cannes. Sting looks like he barely puts up with her.

Posted to Odd | SmartSmartSmart | Sting | Trudie Styler

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Jun
08
Is Marc Anthony gravely ill?


Marc Anthony took out a bizarre ad in Variety, declaring his love for J.Lo in the format of a film script:

The crooner spent the money to honor his wife Jennifer Lopez, who picked up a 2006 Women in Film Crystal Award Tuesday night in LA.

The ad appeared in Tuesday's daily edition of Variety, which charges $8,000 for a full page ad. The ad was written like a movie script, outlining a scene at an award show, describing Lopez as "the most beautiful woman" and "Lola."

This is our theory, and we have reader Angelika to thank for the insight: something is totally wrong with Marc Anthony. He looks deathly ill, with bags under his eyes and a sunken face. We think he's suffering quietly from an illness and wants to let Lopez know in the most public way possible that he loves her. Doesn't this seem like the type of thing a dying person would do? He says "Here's to never waking up, Baby," in the ad, which could be a dual reference to the dream-like state of love and death. Unless their two year marriage is in trouble, which would be completely uncharacteristic of J.Lo, it seems like the most plausible explanation.

We're oversensationalizing this story, though, because there were three other ads from studios praising J.Lo in that issue of Variety, and Anthony probably just wanted to add his loving regards.

Posted to Illness | J.Lo | Jennifer Lopez | Marc Anthony | Odd

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Apr
19
Diddy is creepy as hell


P. Diddy says that he likes a woman's nether region fully waxed so he can do his thing. Now that's normal and a lot of guys agree with him. What's not normal is the fact that he goes on to say that he likes to wash their hair before he gets busy:

Diddy recently revealed his secret to wooing women - he washes their hair.

The star, who used to date Jennifer Lopez, claims he works ladies up into a lather by sensually shampooing their locks.

He said: "I do it old school, using a pot to rinse their hair. I do it slowly, lather her up, letting the water trickle over her.'

All I can think of is that episode of The X Files where the serial killer washed his victims' hair and trimmed their nails before killing them. It's creepy to say that you like to wash women's hair and it skeeves me out that Diddy is into that.

Here's Diddy at a listening party for Cheri Dennis' Album on April 12th. He is shown with Usher, Andre Harrell, Cherri Dennis, Sean Combs and Tracey Weyper.

Posted to Odd | P. Diddy | Parties | Photos

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Apr
18
Tom Cruise is going to eat Katie's placenta!


Tom Cruise brought his crazy public image to new heights by declaring in his GQ interview that he's going to eat Katie's placenta:

He told GQ magazine: "I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there."

But, it seems Tom may have bitten off more than he can chew with his bold declaration.

The interviewer pointed out that a placenta is rather large, so Tom replied: "OK, maybe I won't."

He obviously realized how scary he sounded and tried to back down. He'll have to chow down and leave right afterwards. He plans to promote the hell out of MI3, and will appear next Monday in Rome for the film's first premiere.

Here's Katie shopping in Beverly Hills. [via]
Was she impregnated with L. Ron's sperm?! It seems more likely.

Posted to Babies | Katie Holmes | Odd | Tom Cruise | TomKat

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Mar
23
Crazyfrog and Reese


Britain's Daily Record noticed a resemblance between Reese's character in Penelope, now filming in London, and Crazyfrog, the ringtone mascot that's wildly popular in Europe.

We see it too.

TMZ had a report in the "Rumor has it" section earlier today that Reese Witherspoon was likely planning a baby to save her relationship with Ryan Phillippe. The article featured a picture of Ryan deep in conversation with a female extra that is said to have enraged Reese.

Now the article has mysteriously gone missing while the other two items in that section are still available. Reese must be as powerful as her reputation suggests.

Posted to Odd | Reese Witherspoon

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Mar
19
One of Germany's Idol performers was a transsexual

25 year-old Didi Knoblauch, who made it into the top ten of Germany's Idol on a technicality when one of the other finalists had to leave, recently admitted to being a woman trapped in a man's body. Didi, who was born Diana Knoblauch, told Germany's Bild that he felt like a boy from a young age. (Article is in German)

Didi, whose over-the-top out-of-tune performances and arrogant personality made him an unlikely Idol star, inexplicably lasted until the Top 5. He swayed and swaggered on stage in an attempt to overcompensate for his lack of masculinity. When told by one of the judge that a performance was poor, he snapped back that at least he was a better singer than the judge.

Didi, aka Diana, had surgery at a cost of 2,200 Euro two years ago to remove his breasts. He is considering cosmetic surgery that will create a penis out of skin taken from the forearm, but the operation is out of reach at more than 50,000 Euro.

In the interview with Bild, Knoblauch, whose last name means "Garlic" in his native German, said that he was dumped by his girlfriend 9 months ago and is not over it. He also said that the women who date him are not looking for "Long John Silver," they fall in love with him as a person. He also claims to be a favorite of his girlfriends' mothers.

We wish all transsexuals a happy and productive life in a body that they're comfortable with. There's nothing wrong with that and society should be more accepting. Didi is just an idiot and will remain so regardless of the gender he chooses.

Here is Didi's official website, and here he is with some thrilled fans. Two more pictures after the jump

Continue reading "One of Germany's Idol performers was a transsexual" »

Posted to Odd | Television

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Mar
18
Vincent Gallo is the cash-toting unabomber

Vincent Gallo with ugly big glasses and a full shaggy beard
Unabashed racist sperm donor Vincent Gallo made an appearance at the LA Fashion week kick-off dinner at Mr. Chow's last night. He looks like he wants to go into hiding, but isn't quite sure if he can give up the free food.

Gallo isn't all about pimping himself on eBay for an exhorbitant sum. His friend Mickey Rourke revealed that Gallo helped him through a rough patch by giving him 100k in a paper bag for a brief appearance in Buffalo 66:

Down-on-his-luck ANGEL HEART star Rourke was offered $100,000 for four hours work in Gallo's offbeat BUFFALO 66 movie at a time when he was struggling to make ends meet.

Rourke recalls, "I was flat broke because nobody would hire me. Vinnie called me up and said, 'Hey, I got this thing but you gotta learn it.'

"Then he said, 'Are you having trouble with the government?' I told him, 'Yeah, I owe them a lot of money.' He said, 'What if I give you $100,000 in a paper bag...?'

"When my scene was over, Vinnie gave me a paper bag full of money and I got on a plane the same afternoon."

Where does someone get $100,000 in a paper bag? Obviously Gallo was keen to get rid of it quickly.

Posted to Business ventures | Odd | Vincent Gallo

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Mar
16
Kids DIY tattoo studio


I was watching German kids' TV when an ad came on for a toy aimed at the under-served 'tween girls' temporary tattoo market. It's a DIY home tattoo studio called "Style Up." It features 9 stencils in tattoo-like patterns and even has a pretend tattoo gun that can be loaded with one of three different colored markers.

The ad says in German that you can apply the temporary tattoos on an arm, stomach or wherever you wish. They're also guaranteed washable.

This reminds me of the now-defunct "Baby Ink" hoax site that featured pictures of children getting tattoos.

This is a real toy, though, that will help train a new generation of German tattoo artists.

Posted to Kids | Odd

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